How can I deal with my mom's anger at me for urging her to move my dad to an Alzheimer's residence, where he fell in love with another woman?

This is so unfair! You have done nothing wrong here! Don't react to this or internalize this from your mom. Just know you acted in the way that was best for your parents at the time. If he has fallen for someone else, its not your fault! Another sign of the disease perhaps! Does he even know her? Maybe he is confusing her with your mom....Anyway, good luck with this situation...this too shall pass! Take care of YOU now

Have heard that AIDS is getting quite prevelant in assisted living groups....you might want to advise the mom to bring a condom if she is planning to visit him!