My sister is a caregiving martyr!

it may be less about you and more about being able to get the most love from Mom, in your sister's mind. the caring for elderly parents can sometimes be, in one sibling's mind, all about winning the battle for all of the parent's love and attention and approval. so it's actually not your battle at all. you're already comfortable in your mother's love.

Thanks for the post and the comments. i have six sisters and some days there does seem to be a competition of care-giving. I am working hard to try to find the grace to let each one 'bring their unique gift' but it isn't easy!!! PS can we hear from the brothers? does this happen to them?

have you tried telling your pushy sister to take full charge of your mother? my bet is she will back off and let you handle the situation as you want to. after assuring your mother that it is only a test, try telling your sister to take over. i think she wants to take credit without actually taking initiative or really wanting to do anything. we have people like this in all spheres.

OMG rellim~thank goodness you are taking care of yourself by allowing yourself to take breaks. I respect your choice in taking care of your Dad and Mom.

Makes me feel "lucky" to not have any siblings involved at all in caring for my parents. I've been their only full time caregiver for almost 2 yrs now following a serious accident my dad had when he was 88 ... he just had his 90th BD last month :-) He requires mostly full time care tho I am able to leave for a few hours at a time. Oh did I mention my mom is 92 and still very mobile and healthy. I feel that I am exactly where I need to be and grateful for this opportunity. Bless you all for taking care of your parents.

Tough situation you are in. Sounds as if sis is wanting to run the show when one is not needed. She probably fels guilt when you take her to the Doctor so she turns that back to you by asking why you didn't take notes. I don't realy have any advice just wanted to ley you know you are in my prayers and not alone in your caretaking problems. I have the opposite problem, I have 4 sisters, our dad has lived with me for 2 and a half years. They rarely call to check on him. They say whatever I decide is fine with them. I use to call them and let them know when he was sick or had Drs appointments. Now I just wait until they call then mention it "IF" they ask about Dad! My Dad needs 24/7 care and I rarely get a break. I have put him in the nursing home under respite care twice so far this year so I could have a break. My sisters know he doesn't like it, but they don't volunteer to come stay with him so that is what I have to do. Good luck and let us know how your approach to your sister went.