I constantly feel guilty because no matter how much I do for my parents, I know it's never enough.

I truly believe that the advice Carol has given you - covers it all!! Spending what time you can with your parents is #1 on the list!! Try and get the help of the caregivers that come to the house - surely they could help out if asked! If they ask for money, just tell them "nevermind - I was just hoping while you were here, you could help me and my parents - I was just asking for a little of your time". If they have a conscience, they will start help straightening things out - any help would be appreciated! I know you hate to walk in and see things disarrayed - but remember - you are there to spend what time you have visiting your folks! Just keep your eyes focused on getting to your folks and quit looking at everything else that needs to be done. Hard? Yes - but worth it!! My heart goes out to you - having both parents needing you and your help at the same time must be emotionally draining. You have no reason to feel guilty - you are doing the best you can! No one else can say that, can they? Believe me, what you are doing now will give you peace of mind in the fact that you are there for them now - I'm sure the room lights up the second you enter! Hang in there - it's such a hard road you are on - but so rewarding when you know in your heart that you did the best you could do! You will never regret it - forget the housework, visit your folks!!!!! Spend as much time with them as possible - after all, housework will always wait - the time you have with your parents - you have no control!! Sending hugs and prayers - YOU ARE DOING THE BEST YOU CAN!! BE PROUD OF YOURSELF FOR BEING THERE FOR YOUR FOLKS!!!!! When you leave and get in your car - "pat yourself on the back for a job well done" - no one else will do that for you - you deserve it and you'll be surprised how it will bring a smile to your face and ease your conscience! It does work!!

Let me see here "feeling guilty" When you were too young and unable to take care of yourself who did your grocery shopping, who paid your bills, who wouldn't have locked you away if you were deaf and sick when you were unable to care for yourself. And who did it every single day? Your mom and Dad. They devoted their life to taking care of you for most of it, enjoying you for some of it, then needing you cause they are unable to care for themselves, (and you won't have to be responsible for them for their last eighteen years like they were responsible for you for the first 18 years, plus. No wonder your feeling guilty... Your dad is probably wondering why you haven't moved them in with you or at least closer, if the hour, hour and a half, two hours, whatever, is just too far or takes too much of your oh so important time. How well do you think you would have done if they hadn't been there wiping your butt, or feeding you cause you didn't know how, or giving you medicine when you were sick? Or just being there to spend time with you? They weren't more concerned about if you'd drive them nuts when they decided to have a family. Lucky you they didn't decide you were just too much work and turned their back on you to have a life of their own without taking time for you.... You didn't think their life was more important than you when you needed them , how dare you think yours is more important than theirs when they need you. You sound very self-centered, selfish, and ungrateful. You should feel guilty. Quit your whining...

Ask the Caregivers to do some errands, shopping, appts, whatever. Plenty of them will---or get ones that will.!!!! You deserve the time with your parents to talk---whatever!!!! Do this immediately!!!! You deserve a life!!!! K

We all look for the best care we can get for our parents. If your mother's Caretaker is making unreasonable and ridiculous demands on the family, maybe you should remind the Caretaker they CAN be replaced. If that doesn't make a difference I would, if I were you , call a family meeting and look for a new one. It is not only hard for your Mom to go through what she is going through, it is very hard on your family, I know from experience. You certainly don't need any added stress because the Caretaker wants to play games.