Dad really, really wants to go back to his home (which is now up for sale), but it's not safe for him to live alone anymore. He has dementia and reasoning with him is impossible. I feel like I've started to lie to him about everything -- that Mom's at the store (she died three years ago), that his house is being fumigated, that his car is in the shop.
I feel so guilty, but it's truly the best way to keep the peace. How do I deal with the guilt?
It's a big challenge to handle Alzheimer's behavioral and memory issues. The guilt you feel coincides with your need to spare his feelings, cope with your own, and make everyday life as smooth as possible. Let's break each of these apart and look at them one at a time. You might not be able to "solve" them, but I hope you can come to some measure of peace.
It hurts to see the confusion and frustration in your dad's eyes when you have to tell him that his wife is no longer here, or that he can't drive any more... Read more