Caring Currents

I called my dad this afternoon to wish him a Happy 75th Birthday.

Since he's in Sydney, Australia, it was morning for him and he was delighted to tell me -- an avid exerciser -- that he'd just gotten back from the gym.

Yep, my father, who ran a busy medical practice and supported a family of eight, who rarely had time to scratch himself and never did much more than a weekly game of golf (well, he was a doctor) and an annual splash in his beloved Sydney surf, pumps iron and runs on a treadmill.

Who would have thunk it? He even got a personal trainer, no less, when he hit his 60s, retired, and all kinds of unfun health problems came to call.

Dad sounded especially sprightly over the phone line, like a little boy really, keenly anticipating his big birthday bash this coming weekend. I was reminded of my son, eagerly awaiting his own celebration on Saturday -- double digits! How did that happen...  Read more

The first time I heard the term NORC (short for Naturally Occurring Senior Community) was from my 81-year-old mother, who is determined to live out her days in her comfortable cul-de-sac home rather than moving to a retirement community.

In a NORC, I learned from the file that my mother and a neighbor had pulled together, a neighborhood evolves over time and ends up with a large concentration of seniors, who then organize -- generally with the help of a community agency -- to share services and support. A lead agency coordinates with community programs, ranging from hospitals and Area Agencies on Aging to local catering and home repair businesses, which seniors can then access with a single phone call.

I found the concept so intriguing that I wrote an article for Caring.com about NORCs and other "aging in place" communities. Meanwhile, my mother and her neighbor never got past the keeping-a-file stage...  Read more

Should the family member who's handling the lionshare of caregiving for a parent with Alzheimer's be paid for his or her (usually her) services? That "increasingly popular option" came up in a Wall Street Journal column on blunting the costs.

The problem:

Alzheimer's care carries the twin burden of usually being available both 24/7 and long-term. We hear so many stories at Caring.com of members who give up their jobs or downshift to part-time in order to look after parents. They save on the cost of professional care. But they lose income, retirement savings, Social Security -- and, potentially, medical insurance.

The pitfalls:

Federal bills that would compensate family caregivers have tended to die in committee. Should taxpayers pay for this growing need? Families may not have funds to pay one of their members, especially in this economy. And If funds come from family, there may be sibling disagreements over how much -- or whether -- to pay...  Read more

As the economy continues to falter, senior citizens are turning to more aggressive -- and in some cases riskier -- ways to generate cash to pay bills and buy groceries and gas, according to a front page story in the Wall Street Journal (online subscription required.)

In record numbers, seniors are raising money by turning to products like:

• Reverse mortgages
• REX loans, which pay out lump settlements in exchange for a chunk of future equity gains
• Life insurance settlements
• 401k loans and hardship withdrawls

Though these loans and products may seem like a convenient way for income-strapped seniors to get quick money, some carry tax consequences and higher fees than traditional loans and home equity financing. The article blames the trend on the usual culprits: falling home prices, dwindling jobs, and a sharp increase in food and energy prices.

Seniors who buy into these types of products won't necessarily...  Read more

For many of us, when we think about helping our parents plan for retirement, the big concern -- and sometimes dilemma -- is keeping them nearby. Should we invite them to move in with us or to move to a retirement community near where we live? What if their need for our time and attention becomes too much for us -- the sandwich generation dilemma?

Leisureville, a new book on the world's largest retirement community, raises an entirely different -- and fascinating -- question: What if our parents' own retirement fantasy involves escaping from us, and our children, entirely?

The Villages -- the Florida retirement utopia on which author Andrew D. Blechman casts a not-so-favorable-eye -- offers its residents just this opportunity. The 20,000-acre gated community -- complete with numerous golf courses, its own newspaper and radio station, and multiple prefab downtowns -- is off limits to anyone under 55...  Read more

If you thought the new home monitoring systems for seniors were futuristic, you won't believe the I-House, just unveiled in West Bromwich, England.

A team of British engineers took a run-down home in the English countryside and transformed it into a model home for frail seniors who would otherwise need supportive living.

This nursing-home-without-leaving-home features a wheelchair lift connecting the living room to the bedroom, a keyless entry system, and memory aids that prompt residents to perform daily tasks and take medication.

Some of this may sound familiar -- U.S. companies are developing a number of technologies aimed at helping seniors stay at home with greater safety and comfort. But the I-House takes robo-retirement a step further.

Specially-designed door handles reduce the spread of infection, and hot water taps turn themselves off so that forgetful seniors won't burn themselves inadvertently...  Read more

Researchers -- and the rest of us -- know a couple of things about older folks: They need community, and they fiercely want to hold on to a sense of control.

The problem is, many seniors see these two values as on a collision course. By moving to a retirement community, they fear they'll give up control over basic decisions about where and how they live.

One innovative solution is elder co-housing. Communities such Boulder's Silver Sage Village or Virginia's ElderSpirit  are conceived, planned, and run by the seniors who live in them, offering all the community -- and many of the amenities -- of traditional retirement communities but with a greater sense of dignity and control.

These communities are one part '60s commune flashback (Silver Sage has a meditation room) and two parts future-forward. Wildflower Village, still on the drawing board in Texas, is being designed 100 percent eco-friendly, because the group of retirees planning the community value growing old with a light carbon footprint...  Read more

In his book, The Art of Aging, physician Sherwin Nuland points out a positive aspect of aging that's often overlooked. He argues that the losses we experience as an inevitable part of aging can sharpen our appreciation of what we do have: the time that remains ours to savor while we can.

Nuland's book made me think about people I know who are making an art of aging. Their lives all share a common theme: Each of them has discovered, in old age, an interest that keep their minds and/or bodies active, and gives them deep pleasure.

One friend's father, for example, an ophthalmologist, became a gemologist after retirement, redirecting his keen eye and highly trained motor skills to the selection and setting of gems. Another friend's father took up the banjo. A third became a photographer, making daily bus excursions around San Francisco to chronicle the life of his adopted town...  Read more

The majority of seniors want to live in their own homes as long as possible -- which, as a caregiver, can cause you a great deal of anxiety.

Are your parents taking their medication regularly? What if they fall down the stairs? Are they really able to take care of themselves in their own homes, or would they be better off in a retirement community?

If worries such as these are keeping you up at night -- and especially if you and your parents don't see eye to eye on the matter -- try this short (and entirely unscientific) quiz to help assess your parents' situation, and maybe alleviate some of your worries along the way:

1. Is their house clean and well-cared for, and are basic home-maintenance tasks getting done? yes/no
2. Can someone check in on your parents on a regular (preferably daily) basis? If not, are they willing to consider a Personal Emergency Response System or daily calling service? yes...  Read more

If you've had difficulty finding a physician knowledgeable in treating the elderly, you're far from alone. And this shortage of geriatric specialists is only going to get worse. The "Silver Tsunami" is coming -- baby boomers on the verge of retirement -- and on their wish list: A physician who specializes in treating older people. But, according to a recent survey, few can locate such a doctor.

Nearly 9 out of 10 women polled considered it important to have a doc with senior-care expertise and some 26 percent say their health may have suffered because their provider didn't have such training, according to a nationwide survey of adults 55 and over, conducted by Zogby International for ASAH or the American System for Advancing Senior Health.

These findings are borne out elsewhere. A report last month from the Institute of Medicine revealed that geriatricians are already in short supply...  Read more