Caring Currents

A week ago today my mother, who will turn 80 in a couple of months, fell and broke her hip. Since she has fairly advanced osteoporosis, it was a bad break. When I spoke to her by phone the next day, she was waiting to go into surgery, and she hadn't eaten since the accident. She sounded weak but cheerful, and insisted that she wasn't in pain; she'd refused the painkillers she'd been offered. I had a hard time believing that a shattered hip wasn't painful, but both my parents are stoic and consider complaining -- particularly about the aches and maladies of old age -- a particularly tiresome form of human activity.

One of the first things my mother mentioned was that she was worried about my father.  Dad just turned 80 this August and has been having his own health problems.  As she lay in bed waiting for surgery, she was fretting about how he'd manage on his own, and how he'd care for their beloved, batty dog, which not long ago yanked my father so hard across a patch of ice that he slipped and broke several ribs...  Read more

Cancer patients all over America and the world are paying tribute to NPR reporter Leroy Sievers, who died Friday after a brave battle with colon cancer that recurred in his lungs and brain. Sievers' legacy is a lasting one. In fact, I think it's safe to say that, thanks to Sievers' monumentally popular blog, My Cancer, the way cancer patients, their caregivers, and their doctors confront this terrible disease will be forever changed.

What Sievers did, largely by example, is show the way to a new, more open way of discussing the life-changing aspects of fighting cancer -- all of them. The fears, indignities, and near-impossible choices, but also the renewed faith, deepened relationships, and eye-opening appreciation for life's small joys that are cancer's legacy as well. And he didn't shy away from the hard and scary parts like pain, the frustration of immobility, and impending death...  Read more

A friend got a call a while ago that sent her over the edge. Yet another of her mother’s home caregivers had quit, claiming she couldn’t take the elderly woman’s insults -- the third time this had happened in less than two years. This friend lives across the country from her mother and has to handle all of her care long distance -- by phone, email, and periodic visits.

Talk about a major drag. This was one. For some seniors, the fact that they need care is so demeaning that they simply can’t get beyond lashing out at the caregiver. It’s almost as if they’re trying to force them away. Perfectly understandable, but still hard to deal with -- especially for a caregiver.

I collected information from a variety of sources about what might help in such a situation. Turns out this problem is so common there’s quite a bit of thinking on it. Here’s a start...  Read more

Last week I wrote about universal design, a set of architectural and design principles that can make aging in place safer and more comfortable for seniors.

But first comes the tricky part -- getting your parents to sign on. It may seem like a no-brainer -- if they want to remain in their own homes as long as possible, why not make some simple changes that will up the likelihood of making that wish a reality?

But for many parents (mine included) a wall comes down when you start talking about making any kind of change to the status quo -- especially changes that have to do with accommodating the realities of getting older.

"Having a conversation about changing needs is harder than a conversation about death," says Elinor Ginzler, Senior Vice-President for Livable Communities at the AARP, citing focus group findings indicating that seniors would rather plan their own funeral than plan for when they can't make it up the stairs...  Read more

This week, many of us with cancer in our lives are mourning the death of Randy Pausch, the professor at Carnegie Mellon with pancreatic cancer whose "Last Lecture" about pursuing childhood dreams became a worldwide phenomenon. Pausch died Friday at home in Virginia with his wife Jai, his three children, and close friends by his side. At last count, the lecture, which became a viral Internet phenomenom when students uploaded it to YouTube, had been viewed by more than six million people. A book based on the lecture that Pausch co-authored with Wall Street Journal columnist Jeffrey Zaslow has been translated into 30 languages.

I won't go on and on; this is a story that bears exploring for yourself.  Pausch's message has had such national resonance that Carnegie Mellon created a special page with all the links you need to follow the story. Please treat yourself to the time to do so...  Read more

If there's a senior driver in your family, it’s important to remember that even non-prescription medications can have powerful side effects.

I was reminded of this recently when I interviewed Laura Juel, an occupational therapist at the Duke Driving Program in Durham, North Carolina. Juel evaluates the driving skills of elderly people, and educates them on changes in their physical, thinking, and visual skills and recommends ways to compensate for these deficits to keep them safe on the road. In some cases, she has to tell an older person that it's time to give up driving for good.

Juel’s oldest client yet, a 98-year-old, came in for a driving assessment after he had two traffic accidents in a single week. Juel gave him a variety of driving tests, and found no significant problems: “He was sharp as a tack,” she says.

It turned out that the man had had a cold and was taking over-the-counter cold medication, and that the medication slowed his reaction time, resulting in the accidents...  Read more

As the economy continues to falter, senior citizens are turning to more aggressive -- and in some cases riskier -- ways to generate cash to pay bills and buy groceries and gas, according to a front page story in the Wall Street Journal (online subscription required.)

In record numbers, seniors are raising money by turning to products like:

• Reverse mortgages
• REX loans, which pay out lump settlements in exchange for a chunk of future equity gains
• Life insurance settlements
• 401k loans and hardship withdrawls

Though these loans and products may seem like a convenient way for income-strapped seniors to get quick money, some carry tax consequences and higher fees than traditional loans and home equity financing. The article blames the trend on the usual culprits: falling home prices, dwindling jobs, and a sharp increase in food and energy prices.

Seniors who buy into these types of products won't necessarily...  Read more

Caregiving can be an isolating experience. But here's some news that might motivate you to keep circulating. There's yet another new study out showing that an active social life helps stave off memory loss. This one, from the Harvard School of Public Health, looked at a large group of age 50-plussers. Turns out that people in their 50s and 60s who had active social lives showed the slowest rates of memory decline.

Doesn't seem to matter whether you get together with family, friends, a support group, colleagues, or others. Any source of social engagement seems to work, so long as it's an ongoing source of social support and involvement.

Other news this week inspires two suggestions for that social time:

DO bring a bottle of red wine. It contains reverstrol, which University of Wisconsin-Madison researchers say retards aging in much lower doses than previously thought.

DON'T bring pot...  Read more

More than 6 in 10 people with Alzheimer's wander (leave home of their own free will but become too lost or confused to return) at some point. Wandering sure seems like an oddly bucolic verb -- conjuring up meandering paths and merry wanderers -- to describe what can be a vexing and frightening experience for those left searching.

Every week sad stories fill newspapers. Some very recent ones: A Pennsylvania man headed to bed and wound up on a neighbor's front porch in the freezing cold. In Tampa, a woman wandered out to a neighbor's car, got in, and died of heatstroke. A Virginian drove away from a Fraternal Order of Police meeting and never made it home, while a Floridian drove off until he ran out of gas. (People wander behind the wheel, too.)

Most of those who roam have no idea they're lost or missing. They don't ask for help. Few can find their own way home.

Some recent innovations can...  Read more

POP QUIZ:

1. Can prompt treatment of Alzheimer's prevent symptoms from worsening?
2. What's the life expectancy of someone with Alzheimer's?
3. Do quick mental status tests confirm a diagnosis of Alzheimer's?
4. Is talking about wandering with a loved one who does it an effective deterrent?

Misconceptions about these aspects of Alzheimer's disease are widespread among the public, caregivers, and patients themselves, according to Australian psychologist Karen Sullivan of Queensland University of Technology, who studies community awareness. Her research appears in an upcoming issue of the International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry. Zeroing in on what people don't know, she says, helps frame the most useful education programs.

I asked her what the most surprising find was for her, and it turns out it's good news: Asked about how to respond to declining self-care abilities, "Most people thought it...  Read more