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    <title>Items in Caring Currents tagged with Housing</title>
    <link>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents</link>
    <language>en-us</language>
    <ttl>60</ttl>
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      <title>So Your Parent Wants to Move In With You -- Can You Afford It?</title>
      <description>&lt;p&gt;Recently I heard from Sarah, an old friend, about a hard situation she's in that I'm sure many Caring.com readers can relate to. Sarah's mother-in-law moved in with her and her family more than a year ago, and since then Sarah's had a really hard time dealing with her husband's siblings, who aren't helping out as much as they promised. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;But what Sarah's finding even more stressful is that the expense -- both in direct costs and in time lost from work -- of having an elderly person join the household is much greater than she expected. And what really galls her? No one else in the family seems motivated to chip in. &quot;This summer it really got to me,&quot; Sarah told me. &quot;We were stuck here in the Midwest heat, working ourselves to the bone keeping up with our jobs and caring for mom, while my husband's sister's family went to the Bahamas, and his brother and his wife spent weeks at their lake cabin. They didn't invite their mom to join them, and it never occurred to them that we could use a vacation too.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;The problem is, it's much harder to get situations like this straightened out after the fact, after expectations have gelled and things have settled into a routine.  So here are some suggestions culled from elder planning experts for how to set up a working financial arrangement with siblings before your parent or other family member makes the move.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1. Create a &#8220;caregiving budget.&#8221;&lt;/strong&gt;  Make a list of estimated expenses and determine how much the parent, the caregiver, and/or siblings will contribute. This budget should take into account the full cost of living for the family; not just food and transportation, but mortgage or rent, homeowners' insurance, utilities, etc. Many people make the mistake of thinking, well, I'm already paying this mortgage amount, so I shouldn't charge my parent for a share -- no.  Even if your home is big enough that you don't have to make any changes to accommodate your family member, he or she should still share those basic expenses, unless there's really no money available. If not, resentments will arise down the line. Again, this may need to be made clear to siblings.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2. Figure out how much your parent can contribute.&lt;/strong&gt;   Sometimes, aging parents will have sufficient resources (possibly following the sale of their home) to pay the full cost of their care in your home. For example, if Sarah's mother-in-law sold a home before moving in with Sarah and her husband, that money could be used to contribute to Sarah's household. Sibling alert: This is an issue that must be discussed openly ahead of time. In many families, there's an unstated expectation from adult children that they will inherit the funds from the family home. I've heard more stories than you can believe of families where the family home is sold, and the proceeds set aside for future inheritance, while one sibling struggles to support and care for the now non-independent parent. That's not how it should work, experts say. All the siblings need to discuss and agree that the proceeds from the home are to be used for the parent's care during his or her lifetime. And if that care is in one sibling's home, the funds will last much longer than they would if they were used to pay for assisted living. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt; &lt;strong&gt;3. Calculate a fair contribution for the parent to make to household expenses. &lt;/strong&gt;   This is tricky, of course, and has to take into account both what resources the parent has, and what the cost of living is for that particular household. But here's a ballpark way to look at it: If an aging family member becomes part of what's now a five-person household, and the total monthly expenses for that household are $2,500, the new resident might contribute one-fifth, or $500.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;4. Call on siblings to contribute.&lt;/strong&gt;   If an aging family member doesn't have resources to pay for his or her care, the siblings together should come up with a payment plan. Really -- it's only fair.  If you figure it costs you $1000 a month to have your parent in your home, and there are three additional siblings, you could ask each for $250. Alternatively, your siblings might very reasonably decide that your time in caring for the parent is your contribution, and divide the $1000 three ways. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;5. Keep track of additional costs and share those too.&lt;/strong&gt;   Food, housing, and utilities are only the start, and not realizing this ahead of time is one of the biggest stressors for family caregivers, as the costs begin to mount. If you're the one taking Dad to the doctor and picking up his medications, you'll be writing checks for co-pays and prescriptions. There will be special purchases to make and supplies, such as adult diapers. You may have to make changes to your home, such as putting bars in the bathroom or widening a door for a &lt;a href=&quot;page://732?autogenerated&quot;&gt;wheelchair&lt;/a&gt;. There may be transportation costs, or fees for services. Since you're Johnny-on-the-spot, these expenses will end up coming out of your pocket. Keep a running tab of caregiving expenses and send a regular tally to other family members, with their share indicated. One way to simplify the record keeping? Have a separate credit card and use the monthly bill as your record. If other siblings can&#8217;t or won&#8217;t pay their fair share on a monthly basis, you'll want to keep even more careful records, as you may be able to recoup your expenses from your parent&#8217;s &lt;a href=&quot;page://777?autogenerated&quot;&gt;estate&lt;/a&gt; before it's divided up.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;6. Don't be afraid to hire outside caregiving help and share that expense.&lt;/strong&gt;   Whether you work full or part time, or stay home, you may need to find adult day services, or a senior center that provides meals, or hire a &lt;a href=&quot;page://785?autogenerated&quot;&gt;caregiver&lt;/a&gt; a few hours a week, so that you have the freedom to take care of your other responsibilities. This is perfectly understandable; don't get stuck in the guilt trap feeling like you signed on to do it all. You may also need transportation for your parent to and from the senior center or day care center, and may need to pay for that, too. Discuss these arrangements with other family members ahead of time, so they don't feel blindsided, and see if there are other options. Another family member might, for example, choose to step in and have Mom come for a visit every Thursday rather than pay for adult day services, and that's fine. But if no one else can provide regular, continuous care you can count on, then you'll need outside help, and that's a shared expense.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;7. What about being paid for your time?&lt;/strong&gt;   This one is pretty individual, and every family situation is different. But here's the bottom line: If you or someone in your immediate family has to quit work or cut back hours in order to care for your &lt;a href=&quot;page://787?autogenerated&quot;&gt;aging&lt;/a&gt; family member, then that lost income is a family-wide issue. Likewise, your time. If your parent needs a lot of day-to-day care that would otherwise be provided in an assisted living facility or by a caregiver, and it's you doing that work, your family needs to acknowledge that time spent, and its impact on the rest of your life. Maybe they'll want to spring for a caregiver, maybe another family member can step in for a few shifts, or maybe they'd prefer to pay you for your time. But no matter what, the contribution of the one doing the caregiving needs to be acknowledged. You can also look into being &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/questions/how-to-become-a-paid-caregiver&quot;&gt;paid as a caregiver through Medicare&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Of course, if an older family member is already living with you, and some of this advice is hitting a nerve, it's never to late to revisit arrangements. Call a family meeting and be direct and honest. Explain that you're happy having your family member in your home, but there were certain details about how it would all work financially that you didn't know enough to consider at the time. Lay it all out for the rest of the family, and explain that things need to change. It helps if you've made a budget, kept track of expenses, and can demonstrate what is and isn't working. Remember, your siblings are getting off easy, here. All the work and responsibility for your family member's care is falling on your shoulders, not to mention the inconvenience, lack of privacy, and at least occasional frustration and irritation of having an elderly person in your space. So let them step up to the plate in other ways, so you feel supported. It's the only way to protect other family relationships from the stress and strain of resentment.&lt;/p&gt;
</description>
      <author>Melanie Haiken</author>
      <pubDate>Mon, 12 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0000</pubDate>
      <guid>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/parents-moving-in-with-you</guid>
      <link>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/parents-moving-in-with-you</link>
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      <title>How to Choose the Best Nursing Home: Look for a Nonprofit</title>
      <description>&lt;p&gt;Finding and choosing a nursing home isn't an easy thing to do. In fact, many people find it so daunting they don't know where to start. A new study published this week makes the decision process a little easier with some simple advice: When possible, choose a nonprofit, rather than a for-profit nursing home. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Researchers reviewed the quality of care at tens of thousands of nursing homes in the U.S. and Canada, and found that nonprofit homes consistently had higher and better qualified staffing and less use of restraints to confine patients. (The two measures are related, of course; if you have more &lt;a href=&quot;page://785?autogenerated&quot;&gt;caregivers&lt;/a&gt;, there are more people to watch over patients and less need to restrain or confine them.)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Patients at nonprofit homes also had fewer bedsores, and the facilities had fewer citations for quality violations than for-profit facilities. The &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.physorg.com/news169906876.html&quot;&gt;study&lt;/a&gt; was done at McMaster University in Ontario, where researchers conducted a review and statistical analysis of 83 different quality of care studies between 1965 and 2003. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Study author Gordon Guyatt, professor of medicine at McMaster, didn't mince words in explaining why nonprofit nursing homes can provide better care. &quot;The reason patients' quality of care is inferior in for-profit nursing homes is that administrators must spend 10 percent to 15 percent of revenues satisfying shareholders and paying taxes. For-profit providers cut corners to ensure shareholders achieve their expected return on investment.&quot;&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How can this news help you find quality care?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;What this means, in practice, is that in addition to other measures of quality, you'll want to check into the ownership of the nursing homes you're considering. 
Caring.com makes the process of finding nursing homes near you much easier with our &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/nursing-home&quot;&gt;local nursing home finder&lt;/a&gt;. Once you've made your list, call each home and ask questions before scheduling a visit. &lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Ask the representative to explain who owns the facility, and whether it's operated to make money (which usually goes to shareholders, if the company is public) or whether its overseen by a nonprofit organization. If the representative says he doesn't know, ask him to find out.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Of course, there are many other questions to ask to determine if a nursing home is right for your family. Our experts at Caring.com have some excellent advice for &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/questions/nursing-home&quot;&gt;what to look for when choosing a nursing home&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;p&gt;It's also a good idea to contact your state's Long-Term Care Ombudsman office. Every state has one, and the ombudsman can answer both general questions about long-term care and specific questions about particular nursing homes. Later, once your family member's settled in the nursing home, the ombudsman can be useful if you encounter problems with the facility that you need help resolving. You can find contact information for your local ombudsman at the &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.ltcombudsman.org/&quot;&gt;National Long-Term Care Ombudsman Resource Center&lt;/a&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;
</description>
      <author>Melanie Haiken</author>
      <pubDate>Fri, 21 Aug 2009 07:00:00 -0000</pubDate>
      <guid>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/choosing-best-nursing-home</guid>
      <link>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/choosing-best-nursing-home</link>
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      <title>7 Ways to Find Bargains in Senior Housing</title>
      <description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Newsflash: Thanks to a Fire Sale in senior housing, assisted living and other senior housing options might be more affordable than you think.&lt;/strong&gt; In fact, spend some time bargain shopping and you might be able to save a lot of money.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;A few months ago, news reports were filled with stories of older adults who couldn't sell their homes because of the market crash, making it impossible for them to realize their hopes of moving into retirement housing or &lt;a href=&quot;page://184?autogenerated&quot;&gt;assisted living facilities&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Recently,&amp;nbsp; an unexpected upside has resulted from this difficult situation; Senior housing facilities, facing rising vacancy rates and a smaller pool of applicants with ready cash, are discounting rooms, waiving deposits and membership fees, and even, in some cases, offering the initial month rent-free as move-in enticements.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;In some hard-hit areas such as Florida, the result has been a &amp;quot;fire sale&amp;quot; atmosphere with vacancy rates that have risen as much as 20 to 30 percent. The discounts, special offers, and financing arrangements are enticing enough that many families who believed they couldn't afford senior housing might want to take another look.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Here, 7 ways bargain-savvy families can find senior housing discounts.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ol&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask about waiving or reducing deposits. &lt;/strong&gt;It used to be standard for senior housing facilities to require large deposits, sometimes totalling as much as a year's worth of housing costs. No more -- many will waive or reduce such fees if you ask. According to senior housing expert Eve Stern's &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.snapforseniors.com/Blogs/tabid/417/BlogID/3/Default.aspx&quot;&gt;blog&lt;/a&gt; on the SnapforSeniors Website, some facilities are also offering &amp;quot;bridge loans&amp;quot; to seniors stuck waiting for their home to sell.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Inquire about deferring rent.&lt;/strong&gt; Across the country, seniors are caught in a bind because they can't sell their homes, yet need those funds to pay for assisted living. To address this issue, facilities with high vacancy rates will defer or discount payment for the first six months.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Inquire if &amp;quot;community fees&amp;quot; are mandatory. &lt;/strong&gt;They're supposed to be, of course, and facilities are cautious about advertising discounts because the members&lt;a href=&quot;page://1?autogenerated&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt; already living there paid them. But many facilities will now waive such fees if you ask. Smaller residential facilities may be more flexible on this point.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask about deferring entrance fees. &lt;/strong&gt;The enormous entrance fees charged by continuing care retirement communities, which can come to hundreds of thousands of dollars, are meant to pay upfront for the health services that most seniors will need to access as they age. Many will now allow residents to move in now and defer such fees for up to six months. This can be a great strategy if you have a family member with a looming health issue and you want to get him settled in now before it worsens.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Inquire about &amp;quot;non-premium&amp;quot; rooms.&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;nbsp;Many facilities have rooms that are less desirable for various reasons -- maybe they're a longer walk from the dining room, have courtyard rather than garden views, or don't have outside access. These rooms can be much less expensive, but they may not be the &lt;strong&gt;first ones you're shown. Be sure and ask about less expensive options.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Consider sharing a room.&lt;/strong&gt; Some facilities offer &amp;quot;companion rates&amp;quot; for shared rooms, which can save a great deal of money. This may not be everyone's first choice, of course, but some single seniors find they enjoy not living alone once they explore this option.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Look further afield -- especially in areas harder-hit.&lt;/strong&gt; In many parts of the country, some communities -- often farther-flung &amp;quot;exurbs&amp;quot; -- have been harder hit by the real estate downturn than others. Looking within a larger geographic radius may save your family a lot of money in the long term, even if it means slightly longer drives to visit.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ol&gt;&lt;p&gt;A lot has been written about seniors staying in their homes or moving in with their grown children because they can't sell their homes or afford senior housing. While these are both good options, they can also cause a lot of family stress and tension if they're not the solution everyone wants.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Discounts in senior housing might provide another solution to consider. Since this is an issue of great interest to our readers, let us know about any great money-saving housing tips your family has come up with.&lt;/p&gt;</description>
      <author>Melanie Haiken</author>
      <pubDate>Fri, 23 Jan 2009 08:00:00 -0000</pubDate>
      <guid>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/newsflash-fire-sale-in-senior-housing-thanks-to-market-crash</guid>
      <link>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/newsflash-fire-sale-in-senior-housing-thanks-to-market-crash</link>
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      <title>Gay and Lesbian Seniors Find Housing Niche</title>
      <description>&lt;p&gt;Adjusting to a communal living setting is always challenging, and if you're in a &lt;a href=&quot;page://723?autogenerated&quot;&gt;caregiving&lt;/a&gt; role to an elder who has recently moved into a retirement community, you can expect to get a frantic call or two early on -- maybe even a &amp;quot;Get me out of here!&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Usually, time resolves these settling-in anxieties. But there's one group of seniors who often face an extra set of challenges. Across the country, gay and lesbian elders who've moved to retirement communities report being ostracized, mocked, and harassed not only by fellow residents, but also sometimes by staff.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;One state, California, has responded with a law aimed at preventing anti-gay bias in senior care facilities through staff training.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Another answer is retirement communities developed with the needs of gays and lesbians specifically in mind. The few already in business have waiting lists, and the others now in development are likely to see a booming business. UCLA researchers have estimated that there are 2.4 million gay, lesbian and bisexual Americans over age 55 -- roughly the population of Nevada.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;In a survey by MetLife, a quarter of aging gays and lesbians named discrimination as one of their top fears about aging, and less than half expressed trust that health providers would treat them with dignity as they aged. Given these concerns, it shouldn't be surprising that gay and lesbian-specific communities are cropping up across the country.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Here are a few examples -- some open for business and others in the works:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;RainbowVision  in &lt;b&gt;Santa Fe, New Mexico&lt;/b&gt; offers both &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/articles/independent-living&quot;&gt;independent&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/articles/assisted-living&quot;&gt;assisted living&lt;/a&gt;, plus access to a spa and fitness center. The company has new properties planned for Palm Springs, Vancouver, and the San Francisco Bay Area.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;An affordable choice for those who've always dreamed of a &lt;b&gt;Florida&lt;/b&gt; retirement, &lt;a href=&quot;http://resortoncb.homestead.com/&quot;&gt;The Resort on Carefree Boulevard &lt;/a&gt;offers RV lots beginning at $70,000, and &amp;quot;manufactured homes&amp;quot; in the $200,000 range.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Fiction meets reality at &lt;b&gt;Oakland, California&lt;/b&gt;'s Barbary Lane Senior Communities, an independent living community based on writer Armistead Maupin's famous tale about a tight-knit community in San Francisco in the 1980s. Marketed as &amp;quot;gay friendly,&amp;quot; the soon-to-open property will welcome heterosexuals as well. Includes 700-square-foot apartments with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/universal-design-helps-seniors-age-in-place-with-grace&quot;&gt;universal design&lt;/a&gt; kitchens and community gathering spots. Maupin himself is the company spokesman, and the corporate motto is &amp;quot;Closets are for clothes, not for seniors.&amp;quot;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.fountaingrovelodge.com/index.php&quot;&gt;Fountaingrove Lodge&lt;/a&gt; in &lt;b&gt;Santa Rosa, California&lt;/b&gt; is only in the pre-construction stage, but the continuing care retirement community already has a waiting list. The developer is &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.aegisliving.com/company/index.php&quot;&gt;Aegis Living&lt;/a&gt;, which already runs more than 130 communities across the West Coast.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;The fact that a major developer is  throwing its hat into the gay and lesbian housing market indicates that this is no passing fancy. Like other &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/elder-villages-offer-independence-plus-community&quot;&gt;creative housing options&lt;/a&gt; springing up to meet the varied needs of the coming &amp;quot;age boom, &amp;quot; supply is meeting demand in innovative -- and likely lasting -- ways.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;Apple-style-span&quot;&gt;Photo by Flickr user &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.flickr.com/photos/philwarner/1245670721/&quot;&gt;philwarne&lt;/a&gt;r&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;Apple-style-span&quot;&gt;&lt;i&gt;under a &lt;/i&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/&quot;&gt;&lt;i&gt;Creative Commons attribution license.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>
      <author>Nell Bernstein</author>
      <pubDate>Tue, 04 Nov 2008 08:00:00 -0000</pubDate>
      <guid>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/gay-and-lesbian-seniors-find-their-housing-niche</guid>
      <link>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/gay-and-lesbian-seniors-find-their-housing-niche</link>
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      <title>Nursing Home Evictions Underscore Need to Plan Ahead</title>
      <description>&lt;p&gt;When my 87-year-old father found himself in a nursing home after a hospitalization, the first thing he did was demand his car keys. I had to beg, bargain, and cajole just to get him to agree to stay for the few weeks he needed to heal from a serious infection.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;It never crossed my mind that the real problem facing growing numbers of older Americans was just the opposite -- they &lt;i&gt;want&lt;/i&gt; and &lt;i&gt;need&lt;/i&gt; to be in nursing homes, but those facilities are increasingly evicting them if their care grows too complex or they run through their assets and turn to Medicaid to cover the cost.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;According to a &lt;a href=&quot;http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121806702698918693.html&quot;&gt;recent Wall Street Journal article&lt;/a&gt;, across the country &amp;quot;nursing homes are forcing out frail and ill residents.&amp;quot; While there's no official count of nursing home evictions, formal complaints about discharge practices have doubled over the past decade, to more than 8,000 a year at last count.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I asked &lt;i&gt;Caring.com&lt;/i&gt; housing experts if they had run into this problem. From her files, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/authors/nan-hayes&quot;&gt;Nan Hayes&lt;/a&gt; pulled this disturbing comment, posted in response to a newspaper article about elder evictions in Washington State:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin-left: 40px;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;Having had an insider's look (I've been director of social work for a nursing home and director of activities for an assisted living facility), I can say that was the one thing that bothered me the most. At our management meetings, a large portion was about who was running out of money or insurance and where we could dump them.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Scary stuff, but as with all aspects of senior housing, information is your best defense. The eldercare landscape may be changing, but if you ask the right questions going in, and know all the options, you can make sure your family doesn't become a statistic.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;A few places to start:&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Last week, I looked at a similar problem -- evictions in assisted living -- and offered &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/careful-planning-makes-assisted-living-work-in-challenging-times&quot;&gt;suggestions for eviction-proofing your parents&lt;/a&gt;. Check them out, as they're equally applicable in a nursing home setting.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;In a recent blog post on senior evictions, eldercare attorney Donald D. Vanarelli offers useful advice that also applies to both nursing home and assisted living settings:&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin-left: 40px;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;Family members should be very careful when dealing with admission personnel in care facilities to be sure that the promises made at the time of admission are later enforceable. Don&amp;rsquo;t believe the glossy marketing materials provided by the &lt;a href=&quot;page://184?autogenerated&quot;&gt;assisted living facility&lt;/a&gt;; review the assisted living facility&amp;rsquo;s admission agreement closely; ask many questions about the facility&amp;rsquo;s Medicaid policy; put the facility&amp;rsquo;s answers in writing and send the answers to the facility via certified mail.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;Caring.com's Nan Hayes weighs in with these tips for covering all the bases in rapidly-changing times:&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin-left: 40px;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;It's important to calculate your long-term care costs and then -- based on current medical needs and family history -- prepare for the future. For instance, at today's rates, two years of in-home care plus two years of assisted living plus two years of nursing &lt;a href=&quot;page://128?autogenerated&quot;&gt;home care&lt;/a&gt; would cost about $200,000. If I don't have that in my home equity, then I need to have it in my savings. With inflation, the same services could cost over $900,000 by the time I need them in 32 years. In light of that, &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/articles/long-term-care-insurance&quot;&gt;long term care insurance&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt; could be considered a necessary current investment.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin-left: 40px;&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;Not everyone can establish savings or rely on equity and insurance plans. Instead they must make the best of the public systems we have. Beneficiaries need to understand the &lt;/b&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/questions/medicaid-or-medicare-long-term-care&quot;&gt;differences between Medicare and Medicaid &lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt;coverage, investigate &lt;/b&gt;&lt;b&gt;state and local housing and voucher plans&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b&gt;, read the fine print on housing agreements or anything else they sign, and work with local ombudsman programs and complaint processes if they believe they are being treated unfairly.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The silver lining? If the old status quo -- assisted living and nursing homes -- is looking a little more precarious, the combination of technological advances, human innovation and simple demand means that new solutions crop up seemingly every week -- from &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/articles/aging-in-place&quot;&gt;aging-in-place &amp;quot;villages&amp;quot;&lt;/a&gt; to fully-mechanized &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/british-engineers-unveil-hi-tech-home&quot;&gt;&amp;quot;stay at home nursing homes.&amp;quot; &lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Strange as it may seem to think about staffing your parents' condo with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/the-jetsons-age-in-place&quot;&gt;robotic caregivers&lt;/a&gt; and stocking it with &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/checklists/gadgets-for-elderly-parents&quot;&gt;talking pill boxes&lt;/a&gt; -- at least you won't have to worry about paper-pushers in a back office looking for ways to move them out when their care gets too costly. In today's rapidly-changing senior housing landscape, there's always a new Plan B just around the corner.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;&lt;i&gt;Photo by Fickr u&lt;/i&gt;&lt;i&gt;ser &lt;/i&gt;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.flickr.com/photos/zepfanman/&quot;&gt;&lt;i&gt;Zepfanman.com&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;i&gt;&lt;i&gt; u&lt;/i&gt;&lt;i&gt;nder a Creative Commons attribution license.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>
      <author>Nell Bernstein</author>
      <pubDate>Tue, 02 Sep 2008 07:00:00 -0000</pubDate>
      <guid>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/nursing-home-evictions-underscore-need-to-plan-ahead</guid>
      <link>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/nursing-home-evictions-underscore-need-to-plan-ahead</link>
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      <title>Assisted Living in Challenging Times -- Planning Is the Key</title>
      <description>&lt;p&gt;Recent headlines paint a troubling picture for seniors hoping to live out their years in assisted living.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;A &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.prudential.com/media/managed/LTCCostStudy.pdf&quot;&gt;new study from Prudential&lt;/a&gt; finds that assisted living costs are up 13 percent from two years ago, averaging $3,241 per month nationwide, or about $108 a day.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93260987&quot;&gt;NPR reports&lt;/a&gt; on a large assisted living chain that has been evicting elderly residents when they run through their life savings and turn to Medicaid to pay the bills. Overall, according to the NPR piece, the assisted living industry has little space for those without assets -- while the number of &lt;a href=&quot;page://184?autogenerated&quot;&gt;assisted living communities&lt;/a&gt; has mushroomed in recent years, the number of beds for Medicaid recipients has dropped, to about 10 percent of the total.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Fox New offers a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.myfoxhouston.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=7237372&amp;amp;version=2&amp;amp;locale=EN-US&amp;amp;layoutCode=TSTY&amp;amp;pageId=1.1.1&quot;&gt;troubling image&lt;/a&gt; of 100 or so elderly folks camped out overnight in the hope of getting an application for hard-to-get affordable senior housing units in Houston, where more than 600 are already on waiting lists.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;Then there's the housing market. Many seniors count on selling their homes -- their major asset -- to pay the bill for assisted living, so the current weak housing market is one more thing to worry about when calculating the retirement numbers.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;None of this, however, means assisted living won't be there if your parents need it. It just means you need to do some careful planning to make sure your parents don&amp;rsquo;t find themselves in the shoes of &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93260987&quot;&gt;NPR subject Cordelia Robertson&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Here's where to start:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;b&gt;Do the math.&lt;/b&gt; The time for a thorough review of your parents'  financial situation is &lt;i&gt;before&lt;/i&gt; they need to move. Do they have &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/articles/long-term-care-insurance&quot;&gt;long-term care insurance?&lt;/a&gt; Are they eligible for &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/articles/medicare&quot;&gt;Medicare&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/articles/medicaid&quot;&gt;Medicaid&lt;/a&gt;, and if so, what's covered? What are their income sources and assets? Do they own a home and, if so, what is its appraised value? You and your parents may want to meet with a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.society-csa.com/&quot;&gt;Certified Senior Advisor&lt;/a&gt;, or the family financial advisor, to better understand their financial situation and how far it will carry them if they need to move to a retirement community. Crunch the numbers on a few scenarios: moving now or in ten years; living to 80, 90, or 100.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;b&gt;Ask the question.&lt;/b&gt; When you're researching assisted living or other retirement communities, make sure you ask about their policy on accepting Medicaid, even if you think your parents will never find themselves in the position of needing it -- and ask for a copy of the policy in writing.&lt;/li&gt;&lt;li&gt;&lt;b&gt;Have a back-up plan.&lt;/b&gt; Have a family meeting with all the siblings, and talk about what you'll do if money runs out and Medicaid falls through. Is there low-cost senior housing in your area? Is there a family member who could take on the care of your parents?&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;p&gt;With careful financial planning, you may never need to turn to &amp;quot;Plan B,&amp;quot; but you'll sleep better knowing it's in place.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;Image by Flickr user &lt;/i&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.flickr.com/photos/jurek_durczak/&quot;&gt;&lt;i&gt;jurek d.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;i&gt;&lt;i&gt;, used under the Creative Commons attribution licence.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>
      <author>Nell Bernstein</author>
      <pubDate>Tue, 26 Aug 2008 07:00:00 -0000</pubDate>
      <guid>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/careful-planning-makes-assisted-living-work-in-challenging-times</guid>
      <link>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/careful-planning-makes-assisted-living-work-in-challenging-times</link>
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      <title>A Toolkit for Starting Aging in Place Communities</title>
      <description>&lt;p&gt;The first time I heard the term NORC (short for Naturally Occurring Senior Community) was from my 81-year-old mother, who is determined to live out her days in her comfortable cul-de-sac home rather than moving to a retirement community.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;In a NORC, I learned from the file that my mother and a neighbor had pulled together, a neighborhood evolves over time and ends up with a large concentration of seniors, who then organize -- generally with the help of a community agency -- to share services and support. A lead agency coordinates with community programs, ranging from hospitals and &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.n4a.org/&quot;&gt;Area Agencies on Aging&lt;/a&gt; to local catering and home repair businesses, which seniors can then access with a single phone call.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I found the concept so intriguing that I wrote &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/articles/aging-in-place&quot;&gt;an article for Caring.com about NORCs&lt;/a&gt; and other &amp;quot;&lt;a href=&quot;page://787?autogenerated&quot;&gt;aging in place&lt;/a&gt;&amp;quot; communities. Meanwhile, my mother and her neighbor never got past the keeping-a-file stage. Figuring out what steps they'd  need to take to launch their own NORC just seemed too overwhelming, even for two very independent and enterprising women.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;That may change, though, with the launch of a new website, &lt;a href=&quot;http://norcblueprint.org/&quot;&gt;norcblueprint.org&lt;/a&gt;. Not only does the site include a toolkit and 5-step strategy for creating your own NORC, one of the first things you see when you enter is a feature that lets you make the type size larger by 2-4 times. Clearly, the site's designers -- the same folks who started the first NORC in New York in 1986 -- know their demographic.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Today, there are 54 formal NORCs up and running nationwide. But with a tool like this one newly available, and an aging population, many of whom want what my mom and her neighbor do -- to age with a sense of community, without having to give up control over their daily lives -- that number is a surely a rapidly moving target.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I'm logging off now to go tell my mother about &lt;a href=&quot;http://norcblueprint.org/&quot;&gt;norcbluepring.org&lt;/a&gt;. Check back in a bit to see whether her neighborhood becomes NORC No. 55.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;Image  from Flickr User &lt;/i&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.flickr.com/photos/bootbearwdc/365158793/&quot;&gt;&lt;i&gt;dbking&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;i&gt;&lt;i&gt;, &lt;/i&gt;under a Creative Commons attribution license.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>
      <author>Nell Bernstein</author>
      <pubDate>Tue, 08 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0000</pubDate>
      <guid>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/new-website-offers-toolkit-for-building-norcs</guid>
      <link>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/new-website-offers-toolkit-for-building-norcs</link>
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      <title>Does Older = Wiser?</title>
      <description>&lt;p&gt;Several recent studies confirm the notion that age confers a certain measure of wisdom. For example, &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&amp;amp;_udi=B6VBF-4S1SJR4-1&amp;amp;_user=10&amp;amp;_coverDate=06%2F30%2F2008&amp;amp;_alid=761408381&amp;amp;_rdoc=1&amp;amp;_fmt=high&amp;amp;_orig=search&amp;amp;_cdi=5925&amp;amp;_sort=d&amp;amp;_docanchor=&amp;amp;view=c&amp;amp;_ct=4&amp;amp;_acct=C000050221&amp;amp;_version=1&amp;amp;_urlVersion=0&amp;amp;_userid=10&amp;amp;md5=3ca9c1b0a373487cbf83f0aff3b4c53b&quot;&gt;researchers at the University of Texas&lt;/a&gt; found that people 60 and older reported &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/good-things-come-in-threes-for-aging-parents&quot;&gt;more feelings of peace and calm&lt;/a&gt; than did their younger counterparts. And a &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&amp;amp;_udi=B6T09-4SDNFY1-2&amp;amp;_user=10&amp;amp;_coverDate=05%2F02%2F2008&amp;amp;_alid=761403806&amp;amp;_rdoc=1&amp;amp;_fmt=high&amp;amp;_orig=search&amp;amp;_cdi=4857&amp;amp;_sort=d&amp;amp;_docanchor=&amp;amp;view=c&amp;amp;_ct=1&amp;amp;_acct=C000050221&amp;amp;_version=1&amp;amp;_urlVersion=0&amp;amp;_userid=10&amp;amp;md5=625f94bb172838106cceadfa2e008a90&quot;&gt;study&lt;/a&gt; in the journal &lt;i&gt;Neurobiology of Aging&lt;/i&gt; concluded that older people are better able to control and regulate their emotions than younger people are.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you're caring for an elderly parent or relative, you may be skeptical of these findings, especially if you're frustrated by loved ones' refusal to take steps that seem logical for their own health and safety.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;For example, you may find your parents' refusal to leave their cluttered, unmanageble home for an assisted living facility unfathomable -- and extremely &lt;i&gt;un&lt;/i&gt;wise. You're baffled by how stubbornly your parents resist your reasonable arguments (and the lure of the glossy brochures you bring by to tempt them). Your parents are putting their health at risk, and creating family discord. Where's the wisdom in that?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;If you're trapped in this type of struggle, it's time to employ some wisdom of your own. David Solie, a geriatric specialist and &lt;i&gt;Caring.com&lt;/i&gt; expert, explains that &lt;b&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;page://787?autogenerated&quot;&gt;aging&lt;/a&gt; involves so many losses that elderly people tend to hold on tight to the areas of life they still control. &lt;/b&gt;In your parents' case, their house -- or apartment -- is far more than a home; it represents their past, their memories, their sense of identity.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;In a recent &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/interviews/talking-with-david-solie&quot;&gt;interview&lt;/a&gt;, Solie describes how he handled the situation when housing became an issue for &lt;i&gt;his&lt;/i&gt;  aging mother. He also provides helpful advice in his answers to readers questions, and on his &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.dsolie.com/blog/&quot;&gt;blog.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Understanding your parents' experience won't resolve all your conflicts, of course. It won't make your parents' home safer, or diminish your worries about their health. But it will help you and your parents step away from your power struggle, communicate with each other, and take a more empathic, productive approach -- which represents wisdom, no matter how old you are.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;Image by Flickr user &lt;/i&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.flickr.com/photos/cool-photos/&quot;&gt;&lt;i&gt;Konstantin Sutyagin&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;i&gt;, used under the Creative Commons licencing agreement.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>
      <author>Connie Matthiessen</author>
      <pubDate>Thu, 03 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0000</pubDate>
      <guid>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/got-the-age-what-about-the-wisdom</guid>
      <link>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/got-the-age-what-about-the-wisdom</link>
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      <title>Aggression, Fighting Common Among Nursing Home Residents</title>
      <description>&lt;p&gt;I will never forget the image of my grandfather lying in his bed in a skilled nursing facility in Wyoming, clutching his wooden cane. Another resident had taken an unfriendly interest in him and would steal the shoes right off his feet, and my grandfather felt the need to defend himself even in his sleep.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.news.cornell.edu/stories/May08/nursinghome.violence.html&quot;&gt;New research&lt;/a&gt; from Cornell University helps explain my grandfather's hyper-vigilance. Aggression and violence among nursing home residents, the researchers found, is much more common than is generally recognized, with &amp;quot;serious consequences for both aggressors and victims.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Researchers at a large urban nursing home documented 35 types of physical and verbal abuse, including &lt;b&gt;screaming, pushing, punching, and fighting.&lt;/b&gt; In a related study, nurse-observers reported 30 episodes of resident-to-resident aggression during a single 8-hour shift.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Unfortunately, the study's authors were short on solutions. So I asked two &lt;i&gt;Caring.com&lt;/i&gt; senior housing specialists what they recommend you do if your parent has a run-in with an &lt;a href=&quot;page://787?autogenerated&quot;&gt;aging&lt;/a&gt; bully.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Here's what they had to say:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/authors/nan-hayes&quot;&gt;Nan Hayes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt;, President, RIghtSized Living:&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt; First, involve staff &amp;nbsp;to help check facts and determine the cause of abuse. With new residents, staff and family should also take time to evaluate the behavior of the victim, who may unknowingly be contributing to the situation. For example, a new resident who is disoriented may wander into another resident&amp;rsquo;s &amp;ldquo;space,&amp;quot; creating fear and resulting in an incident of verbal abuse. Family and staff can support parents in a new social setting by making sure they're comfortable with basic logistics and daily routines. New residents should understand procedures for reporting abuse within the community and feel comfortable sharing fears or concerns.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.caring.com/authors/donna-quinn-robbins&quot;&gt; Donna Quinn Robbins&lt;/a&gt;&lt;b&gt;, CEO, Ultimate Moves:&amp;nbsp;&lt;/b&gt; In my experience the family doesn't have much control in a situation like this. My advice would be to go directly to the administrator rather than a nurse or nurse's aide, who are often overwhelmed. Request a room change if the aggressor is a roommate, and keep up the pressure. The administrator is the key.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Have you been there--trying to help your parent deal with conflict or aggression in a nursing home or other retirement setting? What worked for you?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;Image by Flickr user &lt;/i&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.flickr.com/photos/pointshoot/&quot;&gt;&lt;i&gt;Eddie~S&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;i&gt;, used under the Creative Commons licencing agreement.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>
      <author>Nell Bernstein</author>
      <pubDate>Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0000</pubDate>
      <guid>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/new-study-find-aggression-among-nursing-home-residents</guid>
      <link>http://www.caring.com/blogs/caring-currents/new-study-find-aggression-among-nursing-home-residents</link>
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