How to Hang Out With Someone Who Has Alzheimer's

My husband has Vascular Dementia and we don't have 10 children in our lives. There is just us.

The wife and I are about to reach the end of the fifth year since she was diagnosed as being an Alzheimer patient. The previous thoughts are all important. That is, nothing beats personal attention. Like most everyone, I suppose, I had my first shocks with the "repeat" questions. Our relationship made a nice change once I learned to "just answer the question" even if it is the fiftenth repeat in the last day or two. Another activity, I believe, that does wonders for the situation is sharing a laugh about anything. I happen to like puns, and put them to work at every chance. The worst they are, the more we seem to laugh. This seems so lighten my wife's life far beyond the normal discussion of, for example, the stupidity of most of the usual political items in the media. Keep the laughter going, and also anything your loved one can rmember no matter how far that is in the history of your lives. We have been married for sixty one (61) years so we have lots of "past". And, if you have them, photo albums are and ever welcome item to share. (Even daily, if there's only one.) Getting old may not always be fun, but you can make it enjoyable with a little effort. Geezer81.

What a lovely article!

What great tips! If you have any question about how this would feel, imagine you were grandpa or grandma...or mom or dad. All that love directed toward you, plus sweets, and kids calling you by name and hugging you. It makes the suffering less. I agree, keep the visits shorts as the excitement can get grating on your loved one. I know when I visit my friend with dementia, she sometimes wheels herself out of the room and when I follow and ask why she's leaving, she manages to tell me the noise is too much.

These are all good ideas. I agree that you have to be sure the person is up for a large visit of people, but if folks arrive at the same time but can string in a few at time, it may be less overwhelming. Older people love children, but if they are alzheimers AND sick, older people can only take noise and disruption for so long. In visiting my elderly dementia/alzheimers family/friends, I have found that offering to brush their hair or help them put some lotion on their hands is usually readily agreed to. If you can take them for a walk, get them outside if you have a nice day or somewhere they can see outside. Identifying yourself and those with you are a must. Patience - well, be ready to repeat yourself and do so with a smile. They may have a problem remembering facts or people, but they have not forgotten what it feels like to be considered "old". My mother said that she notices the "winks and nods" of people when she repeats herself and it hurts her feelings. She knows she is not "on top of her game" anymore, but those little social things are still noticed! Remember that sometimes the problem is not the mental aspect - it may be more a hearing or vision issue!

Great thoughts! When my grandchildren are here, it is fun for my father with alzheimers to participate in whatever he can. Twice, at birthdays, balloons have been part of our day for our 3-6 yr. old grandchildren. We ALL had a great time batting them from one person to the next and great grandpa never got tired of it, much to the kids' deight!

I agree with most of what you say, but before any of that, be sure your "person" is up to a large group of people, especially kids. I've had that blow up in my face...usually better to limit it to 2or 3 at the most at a time. Watch for signs of agitation and end it quickly if you see a problem.

It's all helpful, I am just starting out with caring for my Pops finding out were he is at mentally and physically has been and eye opener to say the least. He has been living in another city and a couple of my siblings have been taking advantage of him from a money stand point so now he has no money other than him SS. I am the only child who is in a position with time to some what care for him along with my very understanding wife. It's great to have a spot on the internet which is this helpful. My wife and I have taken Pops onto our property in a fifth wheel trailer which is very nice for him he seems to be happy here. But doesn't seem to understand this is now the place where he will live from now on. We are going to his home in another town which he has moved from and pack more of his belongings letting him say what goes and what doesn't. Hoping this will help put some input to the move. we are also putting together a visual calender for him with a daily schedule. We are having some difficulty keeping him active he is 79 years young so activity I am hoping will help him have a more complete life and help him mentally also. For the most part he understands 50% of what is happening in his life right now lots of changes currently so he gets lost in it a bit. Anyway I just wanted to say not alone hoping the journey will be and enjoyable one.

It's all helpful, I am just starting out with caring for my Pops finding out were he is at mentally and physically has been and eye opener to say the least. He has been living in another city and a couple of my siblings have been taking advantage of him from a money stand point so now he has no money other than him SS. I am the only child who is in a position with time to some what care for him along with my very understanding wife. It's great to have a spot on the internet which is this helpful. My wife and I have taken Pops onto our property in a fifth wheel trailer which is very nice for him he seems to be happy here. But doesn't seem to understand this is now the place where he will live from now on. We are going to his home in another town which he has moved from and pack more of his belongings letting him say what goes and what doesn't. Hoping this will help put some input to the move. we are also putting together a visual calender for him with a daily schedule. We are having some difficulty keeping him active he is 79 years young so activity I am hoping will help him have a more complete life and help him mentally also. For the most part he understands 50% of what is happening in his life right now lots of changes currently so he gets lost in it a bit. Anyway I just wanted to say not alone hoping the journey will be and enjoyable one.

My grandchildren visit my husband frequently. To make it more comfortable for them, we plan to entertain him. Once a granddaughter did her tap dance routine, the grandson demonstrated Tai Kwan Do and talked aboiut his black belt. Another time all of the grandkids came and decorated their Easter eggs in the activity room. Lots of pictures and laughing. We "invented" a 500 mile race. We bought 4 tiny pull back cars in different colors. We made a simple track of plastic framing material and taped it to the table so the cars couldn't fall off. We had a stop ramp of the same at the end. Lots of flag decorations. All took their turn while the rest guessed which car would win. We can even play it again! Bob enjoyed it all and the grandkids felt needed.

much appreciated

Thanks...very helpful. Liked the cookie idea!!