The 5 REAL Reasons You're Stressed –- and How to Tame Them Now

TonyTiger

19 days ago

Being reminded "B" is probably the highest grade I should aim for under the circumstances is very helpful.

cookiech

8 months ago

It described me. Suggested that I find new support which I just found here. The criticizing brother which is truly sapping my energy. I do have to start saying NO when I know I cannot do more. Asking for help even if it is not myself but will help me in the long run. Write or say things just to get it off my chest. How nobody understands me. I thought I was just going nuts because I don't have anyone's support right now. Well; THANK YOU!!

My daughter and two small children moved in with us for what we thought was going to be a short period. Well, almost 8 months later, she and the toddler are talking about what to plant in our garden this summer. She is looking for new housing but is very picky. My husband had a stroke 7 years ago and this is very stressful for both of us. We liked our empty nest and our daughter is very critical of us. This offers some tips for a discussion and ways to diffuse problems before they arise. It also helps me see ways that I'm sabotizing myself.

The Caregive­r's Voice

11 months ago

Great TIPs and subtips. Thank you Paula. These are great reminders for us in all facets of our lives. In our goal-oriented society, we are all guilty of having expectations...finally, during the last two years, I realized how harmful expectations can be...and I WAS THE ONE SETTING THEM! So, I began facing that they're flexible guidelines and not rigid. Are you like me? Nearly everything you decide to do takes 3x as long as you expect. Well, that's just it...we need to view our expectations differently. Until then, I'm going to respect myself (#4) enough to get some work done so I feel better about what I was able to accomplish this morning--heck, it's already after Noon on the east coast!

I don't know about you, but sometimes I find myself battling both my only son husband and mother in law. Living together in the same house has brought up some of his childhood behavior which my friends have noticed. He is nolonger the happy go lucky person he can be when his mother is not around. He grew up with an alcoholic father, now deceased, so her solution to shelter my husband was to send him to his room. He didn't have anyone to talk to because people were not supposed to know about the excessive drinking, etc. My stressor is trying to do the near impossible, boost up his self esteem enough to have him let go of those old traits. There are times that I feel alone without my husband's support in what I do for the both of them. Both my parents are dead, and here I am trying to please this woman who is unappreciative. This is my biggest self imposed stressor. It helps to put it out there, thanks for the venting. May we all see our light at the end of the tunnel.

Emily M.

11 months ago

Great story, KathyV! Sometimes, we put unneeded stress on ourselves, but it's fantastic when you realize, "hey, I can do something about this and just say no." Hopefully we can all take your story to heart. Thanks for sharing! -- Emily

KathyV

11 months ago

About putting yourself first - can I tell a little anecdote? This week, 81 year old Mom was being released from an overnight hospital stay. I had spent most of my week w/ her already. There's a one-hour window during the day when I need to pick my children up from school. Otherwise, I am available at a moment's notice for my frail parents. At 2:45, my father called to say my mother needs to be picked up NOW, but he's going to the dentist. Which he did not wish to cancel. And for once, I simply said "No". I told him I can get there in 45 minutes, I cannot go this very moment. Lo and behold, when I got to the hospital, there was mom, sitting in the lobby, perfectly ok with waiting for me. I can't describe how good that "NO" felt, and I didn't feel guilty one little bit!

Mama Llama

11 months ago

I thought I was alone.....seems there must be an awful lot of people out there troubled by what a person can go thru as a 24/7 caregiver. I need to read more on this website - I think it will be helpful to get me out of this rut.

jrl3743

over 1 year ago

i need so much help. need to pick something small so i can actually accomplish something

AlwaysDaddy'­sGirl

over 2 years ago

It is easy to read about it but to take and put into real life situations for me is hard. I not only have my family to take care of I need to help my mom take care of my dad. I have had depression for over 16 years and don't know how to stop the feelings. When something hurts me instead of taking out on the person or thing that hurts me I take it out on myself. I am in couseling for it but i don't want to have to take medication for it. So I don't know what else to do.

jpirrone

over 2 years ago

Terrific article, great reminders. Most of them break down to taking a "left turn" off of how I usually think & operate. Guess it's good advice for dealing with life in general.

Spockula

over 2 years ago

I pretty much know what you're sayin' & try to do those things........still hard & lack of options/help!

sophie659

over 2 years ago

Gosh can I relate to STRESS! Been a rough year so far. Hard to be upbeat. Need prayers and a hug.

No one can feel the way I have in the last year. These and more apply... I challenge anyone to go through what I've gone through without support!

Slipjig

over 2 years ago

#4 and #5 are definitely me right now! Thanks for helping me see it...

Yes !!! Very helpful......so many ways I am feeling right now !!! sometimes we need to see it in writing to help us get on with life !!! Thanks !!!