Last updated:
06-Oct-2009
Is It Okay to "Spy" on a Relative With Suspected Dementia?
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It has been our experience that often the elder loved one seems to rally in the presence of children. (Like they are almost on good behavior, being careful not to slip up) This often makes the dementia hard to recognize. My father covered up Mom's dementia for years. A trained Hospice nurse noticed and finally alerted me of Mom's condition. My heart goes out to anyone having to cope with a parent lost to dementia; but recognizing the symptoms is the first step. Caring.com has given me so many ideas and much needed support in dealing with my 82 year old mother. Thank you.
Sadly this article hit home with our family. I am the "terrible daughter in law" because I tried to insist my mother in law be helped because of things I was told by her neighbors and friends. My husband agrees that something should be done for her best interests...but the siblings are all in denial of course. How DARE anyone say the word dementia?! Even though there are serious tell tale signs present, she is left alone to fend for herself. The family is in such conflict that my husband and I have not communicated with the siblings for over 2 and a half years. Since the one sibling is the durable power of attorney, we just bowed out gracefully, and we hope he will step in to do the right thing...so far, he has not. So sad to see that she was ruining herself financially, and is suffering so with paranoia, delusions, and olfactory hallucinations, but we have no control. I tried speaking to alzheimers assn, her doctor, the drivers license bureau (she still drives), all to no avail. I am waiting for the "crisis" to happen to jerk these guys out of their denial, but I hope it does not cause her or someone else harm or worse. Especially since she is diabetic, and has fallen on several occaisions.