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April died 3/21/95....i'm her mom....i'm still trying to stay alive....prolongued grief is real
Since the death of my brother, 1989, then my sister, 1990, 8 months apart. I have not been able to pull my self back to the real me. This is when everything started in a downward spiral. I still see the fear in my brothers eyes when I told him I needed to be at work the next day and would be back that night. The nurses, assured me he was going to pull through the stroke. The very next morning as I arrived at work. I recieved a phone call telling me my brother was brain dead. I later found out that his wife of 33 yrs. refused medical treatment upon arrival at the hospital, while he was still unconcious. Also, she insisted that the nurses needed me to sign a form stating he was brain dead. Later when my sister was dying, I asked her doctor if a brain dead person shed tears when you talked to them. I was ask to do this on the night he died by his wife. I ask her why, they said he was brain dead. She could not or would not answer that question. As I talked to him of my love for him and to for him to tell our mother in heaven hi for me. There were tears running down his face. My sister's doctor informed me he was not brain dead. I was told at the funeral for his wife in 2003, but the grown children they would buy headstones. He had already been dead several years. They were not buried next to each other she was placed some distance away with her mother. 2007, I went to a funeral at the cemetary expecting to find his grave, still no headstone, 19 yrs. after his death. I purchased one and had it put up on his birthdate a few months later. The fear in his eyes still haunt me and I still cry and can not talk about him. He was my brother, best friend and acting father, our own father did not care about us. I was 6 when mom died and he was 12. I was lied to by the wife, hospital and ask to sign his death warrant. To this day it is still extremely painful.
Prayers Hookooejim