Watching Dad Dodder: How Much to Help (to Prevent a Fall) and How Much to Leave Him Alone?

Falls are bound to happen (unfortunately) in both the home and institutional setting. My mother is just beginning to deal with some mobility issues and it's amazing to me that she shuns her cane. She regrets the things she can't do, but resists using the cane or even getting a Handicapped parking sticker for her car. She needs it.

My husband moved into an assisted living home. In 8 weeks he has fallen 7 times. No broken bones, but cut himself badly twice. They don't seem to watch him like I did. I don't think he can learn to use a walker because of his dementia. He is young, 74, strong, and loves to walk. They want to keep him in a wheelchair with an alarm. He hates that. I just don't know what to do. I cannot move him to another home because we live in a CCRC situation.

My father also resisted using a cane or a walker. After breaking a couple of bones in his lumbar region he really had no choice. Luckily for me he also like walking in the stores. He liked the security of pushing a cart and was convinced it could feel the same pushing a walker. We got him one of those with the wheels, seat and breaks. He calls it his "quad" He too loves to walk around the yard and with his "quad" I don't have to worry. He has a basket for his things and can sit down if he gets tired or wants to stop to pick something up or just look around. I know it would have been a challange to get him to walk with one of the conventional walkers but he sure loves his "quad"! Sometimes on his more unstable days I still walk with him but on most days I can let him go explore the yard on his own while I veiw from a distance. It is so much better for us both for me not to have to hover anymore. Good Luck.

There are many other areas in which you can help your father besides doing it all for him. I would recommend that you let him do for himself, no matter how slowly he moves. He is moving and that prevents a fall. It is a form of activity. There are also other exercise programs available to seniors, i.e. Sit and Be Fit, Matters of Balance, etc... Next look at environmental changes you can make to make his home safer. Lighting, check and /or place photo cell night light in walk paths and in rooms. Rearrange furniture patterns to allow a walker to more easily navigate a walk path. Please send me a note on what areas specifically concern you and I will be glad to help address them with you. Your father does not have to fall. And thank you for being proactive, not reactive.

You raise a good point that depending on the person's health situation a walker is sometimes more strongly recommended certain individuals -- but those can be even harder to get someone to go along with. You're right too that a doctor's recommendation can also be taken more seriously!

I just visited my mother's doctor with her. He discourages use of a cane because they usually don't provide enough stability to halt a fall. "False security," he says. Even though pride is a tough subject, he advises a walker AT LEAST for home, where the majority of falls occur. Mom listens to him better than she listens to me...when she listens at all. Good luck! Someetimes I feel like I should bookmark this site for MY kids, since I'm getting close!