Don't "Misunderestimate" People With Dementia

ernielly

9 months ago

I know how awful it can feel when my energy and hope sinks but I also know how joyful and exhuberant I am when creativity and humour takes over! Everytime I succeed in making the effort to promote creativity and laughter, it brings that sweet sense of pleasure. The risk is well worth it.

Joy

10 months ago

My husband with sever Alzheimer's did the same thing on the day he checked out of the hospital and into skilled nursing. The physical therapist came in to assess him. He was not cooperating. She asked me what he loved to do. I told her tennis singles with the pro had been what he loved best. She said, bring me his tennis racket. The next day I arrived with the tennis racket and a can of balls. He was in his little room. The therapist came in, had him sit on the edge of his bed and she gave him the racket and a ball. "What would you do with that?" she asked. "Not a damm thing sitting on a bed!" he replied . After a good laugh, she got him up and faced him toward the closed door to his room and handled him the racket and ball. He just kept hitting it hard against the door while we ran around the room chasing balls. Had to finally stop because he was distrubing the other patients. He really surprised all of us!!

The Caregive­r's Voice

12 months ago

When my father came to live with us, I (out of ignorance) focused on his ability (not inability). So it was when I took him shopping--his clothes were 40 years old and out of style and worn. We parked far away from the storefront because he was still in good physical shape. Then I asked him, "Wanna race?" "Yea," he said and took off. At 49 years his junior, I raced but never caught up. At age 86 he was GOOD!

superstring

12 months ago

I'm just figuring this out! My husband has been diagnosed with mild dementia, but the drs have variously thought it was Parkinsons and/or vascular dementia. In retrospect he's been losing it steadily for at least 3 years and maybe more like 10 years, but I was in denial for a long time. However, he was VERY sick last summer with multiple infections and apparently some small strokes as well, and was delirious and was placed in a dementia facility. But he came home after 4 weeks, with private 24-hour caregivers, and has regained a lot of both physical and mental function. We are discovering that not everything is damaged "across the board", and he surprises us all the time with what he knows and what he can do. One example, which has many benefits: he's developed a passion for jigsaw puzzles! (He would never do these before.) In particular, he likes to work on a puzzle with ME, and it gives us a chance to talk and joke and just spend time together in a tension-free environment. Don't mistake me--he has trouble with storing short term memory, no longer takes an active role in our investments, reads only the Wall Street Journal, asks the same question over & over, still doesn't seem to have figured out that his caregivers sleep in the house, & so on. But I see a big difference in his mood when I treat him like an adult--the inclination is to treat him like a little kid who knows nothing, which he resents. He knows perfectly well that he isn't like he used to be and is frustrated and scared, and gets angry when he feels that people are making all his decisions for him. He just had an evaluation by a neuropsychologist and we await her report--I look forward to having a professional opinion on what is "gone" and what is still present.

Phylly

12 months ago

My Mom & I always had a tug-of-war relationship and it seemed we were always frustrated with each other. I didn't realize when the dementia surfaced, as she always was difficult. She went to the Assisted Living and then Nursing Home. As always, she obsessed about trivial things, but I guess it was the only way she could express her self and feel she had some control. I wish I had polished her shoes more often, as that seemed to be important to her. Towards the end I just sat in her room while she slept, so at least she would know I was there. There was little humor in our home growing up. But I tried towards the end. Sometimes it was the only way we could smile at each other. Even though we had a rocky relationship, I really miss her and understand so much more now that she is gone. As advised, be patient and focus on what you have, not what you don't have.

subbyfaith

about 1 year ago

I am thankful for this site ,that one can freely share and know only loving and caring responses return! Thank-You!

puzzles

about 3 years ago

this is so true. . .don't underestimate those with dementia.<p> I was working with a group showing them Memory Jogging Puzzles and Memory Cards - MatchMate or concentration.<p> There were 2 men and one lady in her 90's and myself.<p> She was the oldest, sharpest of all and great for conversation.<p> I was totally amazed at the details she was pointing out in the cards.<p> I am the developer of Memory Jogging Puzzles and Memory Cards with Norman Rockwell and The Saturday Evening Post themes.<p> For more valuable information on these brain exercises visit: http://www.memoryjoggingpuzzles.com takeCare.karen

Hey guys I can relate to the ping pong. My mom has dementia she has forgotten a lot but not her music. So I bought her a ipod put all her music on it showed her how to turn it on although sometimes she forgets but she will listen for hours and hum to the beat.

Hey guys I can relate to the ping pong. My mom has dementia she has forgotten a lot but not her music. So I bought her a ipod put all her music on it showed her how to turn it on although sometimes she forgets but she will listen for hours and hum to the beat.

Boblo

about 3 years ago

Caregiver burnout is a major issue for those with this awesome responsibility. Don't overlook the role of humor to make things more bearable. Things that made me angry and frustrated when my mother (who had dementia)was alive, in retrospect are filled with funny happenings. This is true too for the many caregivers who read my blog and contact me about my book which emphasizes humor as a healing balm. Caregivers need all the emotional support they can get. Dementia is a disease that knows no boundaries. It is blind to the categories in which we usually place our fellow human beings. It can occur at the age of 55 or 85. It can happen to Blacks, Whites, Hispanics, Asians, Jews, Christians, Muslims, males and females, rich and poor. It will not spare ex-presidents or ex-prime ministers. It did not spare my mother. Tears are shed by husbands and wives, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters—in fact anyone responsible for the care of a loved one with dementia. Bob Tell, Author Dementia Diary, A Caregiver's Journal http://www.dementia-diary.com http://caregiverchronicle.blogspot.com/