Sex Behind the Nursing Home Curtain

What a great article !!! Of course we do not see our parents as sexualy active - what do the kids think how they got here ? Touchy subject sure, but one that does have to be faced and dealt with.

I'm so glad this subject is being boached! I think families should butt out and let nature run its course. Who are we to say what the suffering seniors can and cannot do in this area. Fulfilling a natural, God given gift can only be helpful for both husband and wife. If they are physically able, within the confines of marriage, why not?

95? cool he should get a metal, cake and around of applause! lol

I love this article! It addresses a difficult subject head on! My parents are now 90 years old, and up until 5 years ago were extremely sexually active (every night Josephine). Of course for quite a while Viagra was the assistant for my Father. My siblings are extremely squeamish about this subject, but since my Father had been speaking to my husband for quite a long time about these things (which of course he passed on to me), I guess I was used to it. After all, it is mostly likely that our own sexual habits were passed on to us from our parents. A very large decline in my parents cognitive reasoning happened starting at the time that my Mother had a vaginal prolapse (result of poor pelvic floor muscle tone - keep up those Kegels and do Pilates ladies!). The pessary the Dr. gave her failed to help, and for some reason, their Dr. obviously thought it was unimportant enough to have surgery. If I had been involved in her health care at the time, I would have insisted on her having the A&P repair to allow their sexuality to continue. Both of them have declined into dementia, and have other problems, and they live in Assisted Living, because it was most important to them that they be able to be together until the end. Who knows when that will be, but I sure wish they still had the ability to do what they both obviously loved (great cardio exercise for them as well). My advice is - get over your squeamishness and make sure that your parents wishes are honored until they dementia progresses too far. After all, it's their lives and their bodies that matter, not ours.

That you can be so compassionate and understanding of the needs of the elderly.

Poet522- I failed to mention that I am a 40 year old research chemist who has done a lot of drug study work in human clinical trials for the FDA. I know what I am talking about. Please see the following "HIV/AIDS among Persons Aged 50 and Older" located on the CDC's website. I trust that you will not condescend the CDC. Likewise, please forgive my seeming hostility. But misinformation that encourages others down a path that is harmful to them, their parent(s), or grandparent(s) must be confronted.

Poet522- A wise person learns the value between a healthy balance of quantity and quality of life. AIDS is a painful and humiliating disease. It is evident that you have no medical expertise nor a true caring of quality of life. While you are correct that the 'greater issue" is the SURVIVAL and recognition of HEALTHY and vibrant-- try relationships here instead of your errant choice of sexuality-- among our parents and grandparents...unsafe sex and contracting HIV, experiencing full-blown AIDS is fulfiling of neither survival nor healthy relationship. Again-another person who has their thinking cap not tied tightly enough. Next time read your post and check your logic.

Thanks for a useful, thoughtful post that goes where most of us do not dare. While HIV/AIDS is an issue that elders (like the rest of us) must be aware of, the greater issue is the survival and recognition of healthy, vibrant sexuality among our parents and grandparents.

Unfortunately the major concern over sex amongst the elderly in nursing homes was not addressed...HIV/AIDS. The population with one of the fastest growing rate of HIV contraction is among seniors in nursing homes. It may be uncomfortable to realize one's parent(s) or grandparent(s) are sexually active, imagine the feeling with learning they have contracted HIV and will die of AIDS. Really am tired of people who are superficial in their knowledge of a topic. To the writer: I'm not impressed ... please learn to be thorough in your research...otherwise you merely sound like an idiot on top of giving people poor information.