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Thanks so much for your comments. It's great to hear from readers and get the benefit of your insights and experiences.
My 89 year old mother died one year ago this week. She loved her friends especially her church friends who were so faithful to take her to play dominos even though my mother was blind. She went for the community she felt there. Friends of seniors must not be afraid of them. Our son, age 17, is a food server in a retirement community. One of his clients found out he plays the piano. Now they have piano night and he plays for the residents that "Hazel" invites. He beams with delight when it is piano night.
for all the children left after the parents die -- i loved them, cared for them, as did my siblings, and even now -years later, i wish i had done more stayed with them more. after the years, i still miss them, and wish for their wisdom. i never have admited that before and wanted the ones who still have the chance to give it your best.