Beat the Holiday Blues With These 5 Stress-Busting Strategies

I was my grandmother's caregiver for a year and loved every second I had with her. She was my "unconditional love" person from the day I was born. Our world blew up in Feb.2010, I found out I had some cancer, my daughter was in a serious car accident, and the first night I was not with Grandma overnight, she fell! She laid on the cold floor in her waste and luckily, was a volunteer at the Sr. Center scheduled to serve the "old people" (she was a young 94) lunch. Phone calls were made, people went to the house, finally police broke the door in-rushed her to the hospital and the family gathered to say good bye. She died on March 29-hung on until she saw her first "robin" (her nickname for me-besides the first bird of spring) and fell asleep that night. I planned the funeral with the pastor (she has 5 children-all alive and capable-including my former mother), got together the pictures, the writings, the "lunch", and was so busy, I didn't realize what was happening around me. My uncle-the POA (one of 3) bled her accts dry and then turned around and blamed it on me! I was evicted from the house I was supposed to be able to live in until I didn't want to and then it would go up for sale, the police came to the door ready to arrest me for "stealing her car"-it was in the garage, was banned from Easter, even though I already had 15 baskets ready, with Grandma's help and blessing for the great-grandchildren, then my saintly mother told me "the family doesn't want you anymore". It was burying my grandma, and then burying 52 people within 2 days. I am having such a hard time sleeping, eating, being happy, concentrating-yes, I am working with someone on depression - but this was our time! The rituals began my first Christmas, 54 years ago. It will be my first one without the lefse and other recipes from "Ma and Pa. I have lived with her the past 2 Christmases, so reading things like your blog keeps me focused and on track. Thanks!

I like the "beware of things that bring you down" suggestions. It's all about finding small ways to mark the holiday -- that bring everyone together. Tha'ts what everyone remembers. Recent research shows that it's NOT about the gifts. It's about planting memories. http://voicequilt.blogspot.com/2010/12/celebrate-holidays-by-creating-memories.html

The Alzheimer's Daily News had an interesting article on gifts for the holidays. The Best Holiday Gift Is a Smile (Source: The Alzheimer's Store) - As family and friends immerse themselves in the holiday spirit one seemingly insurmountable challenge is the annual dilemma of what to buy someone who themselves are immersed in a disease. But the answer really is simple and it differs little from the principles that apply to everyone - a gift that generates a smile. Read more at alznews.org

To: KMFK15 So sorry for your loss. No way to avoid the pain but treasuring memories and realizing that separation for Christians is really short can help. I did read a book on heaven and now think of my sister off road motorcycling and having fun in heaven waiting to teach me this (when I won't be afraid of being hurt). My church has grief recovery sessions which have been a great help. I will pray for you.

The stress and certainly sadness gremilns are always with me. My answer to that is to pray - that works for me. I took care of my mother for eight years and they were hard years both physically and mentally. When she died, I had a 3rd heart attack in December so you know I need Coping skills. when my sister died of breast cancer and my nephew came for Christmas, I did everything wrong working to create the perfect Christmas - yet take care of Mom and attend to Mom ( it was her last Christmas). I can say I wish I had this article available.

I found this article to be very helpful. I lost my husband of 36 years this year. I don't plan on doing up the house or tree. I am not interested. I will be with my children and grandchildren and not in my home where christmas was every year. I can't set myself up for memories that will never be anymore.I thank God that my children want me.So God one and all and keep busy but also take care of yourself.