Depression and Dependence: When It's Time to Say, "I Need Time Alone"

Great info. Thanks for the publish.

i want to know how to HELP the person with the incontinence adjust to the problem..not everyone who has the problem turns to their family for assistance..

oh you can say that again.. I had never thought about that... but yes its like when people lull their kids to sleep by bringing them for a ride... I don't drive I never have.... mine would fall asleep to the sound of the vacuum and the sound of the dryer.... they could still probably sleep through an earthquake lol noise never bothered them... they didnt get that from me lol

So glad everyone found this post helpful. Another friend in this situation told me yesterday that she sometimes puts her dad in the car and just takes a long drive to give herself a break, since dad likes to listen to the radio and tends to fall asleep in the car. Reminded me of the days we used to put the baby in the car and drive around around til she fell asleep; weird how many parallels there are!

I can really relate to this post; my 95-year-old mother came to live with me 3+ years ago; since my husband had recently died, I thought I could use the company. I'm not sure it was a wise thing. My life is not my own; although I get a little reprieve by working full time (and having a really caring & supportive boss), once I go home, I have no life. My mother, of course, is isolated--unable to go anywhere (unless I take her)--because she gets frightened and so belligerant (everything is MY fault); therefor, I am pretty much isolated--although I have made it a habit to go to church. Not only is my faith helpful, but it gives me a chance to be with caring, loving people. Also, I take a vacation day once a month--just for me--and I do all the things I want/need to do to stay sane. (I can relate to the 30-minute trip to the grocery store feeling like a vacation!) As time-consuming/energy-consuming as things are now, I am thankful everyday that my mother is not as ill as some others; however, she makes up for it by being hateful.

Oh my goodness I know this feeling oh too well... I have been caring for my mentally ill mother since I was 13. 30+ years later and shes still with me but has Parkinsons,and physical disabilities too. I am chronic depressed and partially disabled... My husband and I barely ever get to do anything unless one of the kids are home to stay with her. She has to be watched 24/7 because she becomes worried and scared and then starts panicking and going crazy. She ends up calling everyone we know and getting them to worry. example... New Years eve me husband our 12 yr old daughter and I went out to the mall and then out to eat.. it took longer than we had expected so we ended up being gone 4 hours... when we got home shes was all panicking and talking crazy and found out she had called everyone under the shining sun... people were calling back to see if we were back and if she was ok... its driving me nuts... my husband and I have never been able to go away for more than a night, no one will sit with her that long because they feel shes a nuisance... shes not a nuisance to me because I'm use to it... But anyway back on track lol this article and all the ones I read here have been helping me cope with my Mum and cope with my own issues as well.... thank you! my heart goes out to all of you caregivers I feel your pain indeed.

Caring for my mother with moderate Alzheimers, while coping with my own chronic depression, often leaves me feeling helpless and hopeless. I need these reminders to just take a positive action for myself. I can handle this, and be better for it, by remembering my life, my comfort and my happiness is important too.

thank you, awesome advice, article, helps to soothe my soul, relieve my guilt, sometimes just a thirty minute trip to the grocery store feels like a vacation