When Caregiving for Someone With Alzheimer's, Emotions Are All-Important

My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 adeno carcenoma lung cancer on Feb 22, 2010 and died Feb 28, 2010. He never knew he had this till it was too late and had it had gone to his brain already and his body was shutting down on him. He had been sick for months and loosing weigh and could not eat. None of his doctors caught this, cardiologist, MD, cholestrol doctor, allergy doctor. How could this of happened? I can't understand this? Until he saw a Pulmonery doctor did we find out. I'm just thankful he didn't suffer long.

Very helpful and very relevant article. I can see the truth of the importance of emotions, both as a trigger for negative/hostile/frustrated behavior and for maintaining a positive and calm outlook in the dementia patient/parent. Thank you for your insight.

An excellent article, and so true.

Not only was it helpful, it was beautiful. It is a tool that I use and Bob's care partner Kathy uses regularly. There is a wonderful T Shirt by Suzy. View it here www.suzytoronto.com. It has a poem titled She With Healing Hands. I recommend it as a gift for a caregiver.

I agree - have found that my mother responds best when the mood is lighter. She has told me she notices body language in other people, and gets embarrassed even tho she may not realize just what she has done. When I am asked the same question for the umpteenth time, I try to pause for a beat or two, and smile and just respond as if it is the first time. I try not to let my body language convey anything negative. It is hard, but I have found that my pausing for a moment helps both of us! I also agree with the last point - my mother is fine when I answer her question as it is put, because whether it is applicable to the situation or not, she will forget it momentarily. In the meantime, however, I have given her a response that she understood, and haven't made her feel like an idiot in the process. Pride is important, and tho it may not seem like it, they beat themselves up inside whenever they realize they've made a "mistake"...they feel unimportant and a burden even more. It is so frustrating for us, but imagine how frustrating to them! My mother was always on top of everything, and now she isn't. She knows it too. And it hurts to see the look on her face when she realizes that she isn't tracking. Imagine yourself there -

This was really helpful and informative....