Comment on Sex Behind the Nursing Home Curtain

vienna — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 02:12:41 -0000

What a great article !!! Of course we do not see our parents as sexualy active - what do the kids think how they got here ? Touchy subject sure, but one that does have to be faced and dealt with.

Comment on Is It Ever Okay to Laugh About Alzheimer's?

CA-Claire — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 00:16:29 -0000

Mom had dementia of a sort, and right around Christmas 2011, she was sitting on the dreaded hospital bed, Mom and Dad's queen bed having had to go away for Mom to be in a hospital bed, Mom started looking at her feet and laughing. This went on for quite a while. The caregiver kept asking her what was so funny, but Mom just continued to laugh. Lasted about 20 minutes. A couple of days after that, she became mostly comatose, and passed away on 1/6/12. Wish I could have heard the laughing and recorded it. I miss her and her laugh most of all.

Comment on Is It Ever Okay to Laugh About Alzheimer's?

Becky Anderson — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 23:25:19 -0000

You're so right! It helps to keep a sense of humor, and laugh about the situation at times. It does help relieve some of the stress of the day to day worry and sadness.

Comment on Dental Treatment for Alzheimer's Patients

CA-Claire — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:31:29 -0000

Wow, what a devoted daughter you are. Taking such good care of your mom. When it becomes difficult to chew, you can grind up the food in a food processor - about 1/3 meat, and 2/3'rds vegetables, and add a little liquid. They can almost drink it. If she says it has no flavor, hand her a bottle of 'gravy' - chocolate syrup. Although it seems gross to us, the taste of sweet is the last to go. This will also give her more liquids to make BM's easier. Seniors get so dehydrated, their BM's become rock hard.

Comment on Diaper Humor is Best Left to Those Who Know What They're Talking About

Charlie187564 — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 00:32:09 -0000

Today’s, story is rather personal but what the heck, I have already let you past the protective barrier of my privacy, so why stop now. I hope in some small way that my realizations can benefit some of you. A couple years ago I was working hard at my warehouse and had a big sneeze. Not an earth shattering sneeze but an unexpected loud nose clearing sneeze. Much to my surprise, I had an accident in my pants. I was both shocked that my body did not perform as normal and stunned that such a thing could happen to me. Mr. Football hero, hard, strong laborer and macho man had a mess in his pants from an ordinary sneeze. Now this was of course written off as a fluke, it can’t happen to me. Then it began to happen in other capacities as well. Straining to lift a box, swinging an axe to split wood and so forth. Well this was not acceptable; I am much too young to have any such problems. Well my doctor disagreed and assured me I was lucky to be problem free this long. Now when I left his office my inclination was to go into denial mode and go on ignoring the problem. Having a sense of humor I began to make jokes around folks my own age, about how dangerous it is to sneeze at my age. These comments all elicited laughter and understanding. I got the sense that I was not alone and we older boomers were sharing the same experiences. So I began to expand or refine my humor to include other potential senior problems,(do I really need to name them?) and found even more comradery in the grey community. I never had to spell out anything but the agreement and recognition on all their faces told me I was not suffering alone. Once again my doctor back in the 60’s was right, laughter is the greatest health drug there is. I have since gone on a quest to deal with my occasional problem and now when I have heavy work; I not only take along clean underwear but a diaper as well. A quick aside, as you can tell from my bravado, I am not about to walk into a supermarket and purchase adult diapers, so I went to the internet. I found a very user friendly site that answered all my questions and needs and ordered from them. What was nice is I did not have to dig through page after page of ordering crap to make my purchase. It is all right there, click a button and punch in my visa and I am done. Try http://diaperdispatcher.com So I guess my point in today’s lecture is laugh at life because it sure as heck is laughing at you. Enjoy the cherished days we have here and smile it may lead to a laugh.

Comment on Dental Treatment for Alzheimer's Patients

SuWhaley — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 16:51:58 -0000

Very helpful. I was just reaching the point of deciding how to handle an upcoming appointment for my Mom.

Comment on The 5 REAL Reasons You're Stressed –- and How to Tame Them Now

TonyTiger — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 17:09:17 -0000

Being reminded "B" is probably the highest grade I should aim for under the circumstances is very helpful.

Comment on Lewy Body or Alzheimer's: Do You Need to Know What KIND of Dementia?

blueberry — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 22:21:42 -0000

The common failure in getting the right diagnostics for the elderly who suffers from what every one calls "Dementia/Alzheimers" is very frustrating. Despite our efforts to take our loved one to various specialists, we could only rule out "low pressure hydrocephalus". The doctors looked at the MRIs and other tests and were very vague about the type of disease (vascular?, Alzheimers?). Just in case, they continue to give her "Aricept", despite the fact that the drug is specific to Alzheimers patients to retard the process of amyloid deposition on the brain cells. I also realize that there is still a lot of research needed and that sometimes only an autopsia, after death would be able to confirm the diagnostics. The tests can at best suggest the type of dementia. Another thing to consider is that brain trauma and other injuries can evolve into dementia/Alzheimers, despite the absence of a genetic predisposition. What can we do to identify one out of 50 possibilities? Certainly research efforts should intensify within this area. Thank you for the article

Comment on 12 Signs of an Over-Involved Caregiver

BiBi Upstate Ukie — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 18:40:02 -0000

In my case, w/ my Mom being the "overinvolved" caregiver for my 99 year old grandmother (w/ Stage 7 Alzheimers); to the detriment of her health and family relationships; the article would have been more helpful if it provided some suggestions/tips on how to cope with someone who is pyschologically/emotionally entwined with her "patient". Personally, I have somewhat distanced myself from the situation, b/c it has been detrimental to my mental/emotional health. MY Mom has been overinvolved; my aunt has been underinvolved and there is no "back=up" plan for when my Mom becomes too ill (and that dat will come) to care for my grandmother. Both siblings refuse to place my grandmother is a nursing home/care facility. Thanks for letting me vent:))

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

Riannan — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 00:04:42 -0000

Howcoolrutoday, I am so sorry for your loss. A lot of what happened with your father is happening to our mother, who will be ninety this March. Twelve years ago, somebody in the family decided how great it would be to buy a 3-flat building where we could all live. So we all sold our condominiums, and bought a nice property with lots of space. I think maybe, no I'm certain that God knew what would be happening and arranged that we were there when the dementia took hold. My brother is sixty-three and took an early retirement to be her principal caretaker. He has her power of attorney, cooks most of their meals or they order out. Our mother's personality has changed and not for the better. She constantly picks fights with us, is uncooperative and then, there's the memory thing which gets worse every year. That alone has taken a toll on both my brother, his daughter and me. I tried a few times to explain that she has Alzheimer's, but she is in total denial. She becomes defensive and puts it on the fact that she's old, and thinks we're trying to take advantage of her. She will never realize that she's not in a nursing facility because we want to keep her in her home, and that's where she wants to be as well. Ever since she was diagnosed, I have been trying to prepare myself for life without her. But it's difficult; she's all I have. I have to say that so much is said and done about diseases like cancer, which many people have been cured of. There is no cure, no absolute prevention of Alzheimer's Disease. Why is that? Why is it taking the whiz kids in research so long? This disease is the most insidious thing on this earth. It's increasing too; everyone I know has a relative with it. Supposedly my brother and I have a chance of getting it too. If that's the case, I don't want to be old.

Comment on Sex Behind the Nursing Home Curtain

kryzank — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 17:50:37 -0000

I'm so glad this subject is being boached! I think families should butt out and let nature run its course. Who are we to say what the suffering seniors can and cannot do in this area. Fulfilling a natural, God given gift can only be helpful for both husband and wife. If they are physically able, within the confines of marriage, why not?

Comment on When Dementia Makes Someone See Things That Aren't There

Anonymous — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 15:19:41 -0000

My wife frequently remembers a dream as something that actually happens--frequently involving relatives sho "steal" from her. She knows I don't believe this and sometimes becomes quite upset but other times seems to accept that we have different perceptions of reality.

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

Anonymous — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 09:01:09 -0000

Amazing the amount of money these people make, profiting from others suffering. U.S.A., only industralized country in the WORLD without National Health Care.

Comment on Weight Loss: Keeping a Food Diary Makes a Difference

Christopher Silvey — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 14:25:49 -0000

I agree! When trying to lose weight it is a must to use a journal when you can't use a calorie counter. It is vital to always track what you eat. This has worked for my wife. She started using journal and has been shedding those pounds. Great article! http://www.challengeyourdiet.com

Comment on How to Say Thank You to a Caregiver This Thanksgiving

rosesteph49 — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 21:47:05 -0000

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Comment on When Dementia Makes Someone See Things That Aren't There

Betty'sgirl — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 16:46:45 -0000

Yes very helpful. My Mom experienced hallucinations frequently when she was alone. Supposedly it was a bearded lizard, running thru her livingroom.

Comment on Alzheimer's Aggression Is Scary, But You Can Get Through It

floy — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 15:30:28 -0000

I haven't faced aggressive behavior in my DH yet, except for one incidence of "dream thrashing", but is is good to have some calm words and ideas in case the situation arises in the future

Comment on Is There Such a Thing as a "Caregiving Instinct"?

dcbhannah — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:31:53 -0000

Very helpful in confirming that I'm on the right path. Thank you!

Comment on Red Wine -- Or Resveratrol Pills -- May Prevent Cancer Says Strong New Research

JACKIEO33 — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 17:28:56 -0000

IS A DRY RED FRENCH LIKE BOJALUS OR SWEET WINES BEST FOR THE FIGHT AGAINST CANCER

Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

truckyone — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 00:13:30 -0000

iave just gone 63yrs of age,and without my regular yearly psa test, i would not have known i,ad prostate cancer.the gleeson reading was between 5-7. iam happy to find it early,and now been treatedwith radiology plus, alternative treatments/bloodroot capsules and otherlife style changes.

Comment on World Alzheimer's Day and Why People With Alzheimer's Need It

PINK GIN — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 16:33:56 -0000

AS I sit here at the computer, I am listening to my loved one talking away to someone in her imagination,,She is now in home based Hospice care and these folks are wonderful..My heart really aches because Margaret has now begun to say she hates me and I need to take her home,,,Although I know just about everything that is going on, I still come ac cross many shocks. The Hospice Nurse gave me a booklet called " Gone from my sight " and this explains all that I should expect,,down to the final details. Must say that in the last 36 hours, I have had only 10 minutes sleep ( at the most ) due to the constant need to be here...Yep, it's a horrible thing to go through and as the end nears in leaps and bounds, I find I am beginning to grieve and become extremely lonely and it doesn't look like we will make it to 50 years together...Bless you all the Angels for caring about others,,my heart goes out to anyone involved in this scourge.... Love..PINK GIN

Comment on 4 Fresh-Start Steps for Out-of-Shape Caregivers

Peter Greek — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 18:43:32 -0000

It only takes 30 minutes a day caring about yourself that makes caring about others easier and better..and a prayer once and a while can't hurt..

Comment on Alzheimer's Aggression Is Scary, But You Can Get Through It

petrin56 — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 10:47:23 -0000

Any advice is something to consider and implement when appropriate. Knowlege is power. Thank you!

Comment on When Dementia Makes Someone See Things That Aren't There

voorcroix — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 07:05:33 -0000

The comment, "in more rapidly-progressing cases...it's not like the person you know with mild dementia is going to suddenly flip out." helps me understand the progression of this disease in the person I am caring for.

Comment on 12 Family Movies to Watch This Holiday Season With Someone Who Has Dementia

Wahela — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 21:41:22 -0000

I used to work in an Alzheimer's unit. About six of them were retired Manhattan Project scientists. Someone had put "Dumb and Dumber" on the TV. And eight people sat there and watched that movie--3 times! The attention span was just short enough that they caught the jokes and enjoyed it. While I think that movie is totally stupid, these people thoroughly enjoyed it.

Comment on Is It Ever Okay to Laugh About Alzheimer's?

Anonymous — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 02:52:23 -0000

sometimes it is best to laugh to keep from crying. I think of the good times we have had when times are difficult.

Comment on Cancer Patients Who Get Palliative Care Suffer Less, Study Shows

Milchoc — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 20:47:14 -0000

Although she is breathing on her own, she isn't talking, or actively responding. She is actively dying. but she is not suffering. Thanks to the comfort care(Palliative Care) of the hospital, she will not be uncomfortable nor in any pain.

Comment on Cancer Patients Who Get Palliative Care Suffer Less, Study Shows

Milchoc — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 20:42:14 -0000

I agree with the Palliative care. My mom isn't suffering now, she's quite comfortable. We/She just recently found out (on a trip to emergency room for pain and thought she could get pain killers and go home) and definitely wasn't ready for. But who is right?. This being the day after her specialist told her she didn't have cancer. She walked into the hospital and was put on a ventilator the next day. She was on the ventilator for 3 weeks and now she's breathing on her own. The palliative care nurses were very compassionate,honest and just caring. They've been very good with helping my family cope with the surprise of stage 4 cancer. I believe strongly in Palliative Care and i would recommend that to anyone going thru this.

Comment on Beat the Holiday Blues With These 5 Stress-Busting Strategies

nella — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 01:47:36 -0000

I was my grandmother's caregiver for a year and loved every second I had with her. She was my "unconditional love" person from the day I was born. Our world blew up in Feb.2010, I found out I had some cancer, my daughter was in a serious car accident, and the first night I was not with Grandma overnight, she fell! She laid on the cold floor in her waste and luckily, was a volunteer at the Sr. Center scheduled to serve the "old people" (she was a young 94) lunch. Phone calls were made, people went to the house, finally police broke the door in-rushed her to the hospital and the family gathered to say good bye. She died on March 29-hung on until she saw her first "robin" (her nickname for me-besides the first bird of spring) and fell asleep that night. I planned the funeral with the pastor (she has 5 children-all alive and capable-including my former mother), got together the pictures, the writings, the "lunch", and was so busy, I didn't realize what was happening around me. My uncle-the POA (one of 3) bled her accts dry and then turned around and blamed it on me! I was evicted from the house I was supposed to be able to live in until I didn't want to and then it would go up for sale, the police came to the door ready to arrest me for "stealing her car"-it was in the garage, was banned from Easter, even though I already had 15 baskets ready, with Grandma's help and blessing for the great-grandchildren, then my saintly mother told me "the family doesn't want you anymore". It was burying my grandma, and then burying 52 people within 2 days. I am having such a hard time sleeping, eating, being happy, concentrating-yes, I am working with someone on depression - but this was our time! The rituals began my first Christmas, 54 years ago. It will be my first one without the lefse and other recipes from "Ma and Pa. I have lived with her the past 2 Christmases, so reading things like your blog keeps me focused and on track. Thanks!

Comment on The #1 Medication Mistake People Make in Cold/Flu Season

Herbgal — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 22:39:37 -0000

This is timely information! I teach folks to use herbal medicine to prevent getting colds & flu, and have great results. There are occasions, though, when people do turn to drugs to alleviate symptoms. This information is important! Thanks ! Carol ~ www.studiobotanica.com

Comment on The #1 Medication Mistake People Make in Cold/Flu Season

Herbgal — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 22:37:18 -0000

This is great information and I bet it's often missed! I try to teach folks about the benefits of herbal medicine & the ways that they can use herbs to prevent colds & flu to start with. Often, though, people do turn to drugs for symptom relief and, with this info, will make better choices! Carol www.studiobotanica.com

Comment on 5 Bills You Can Lower With a Phone Call

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Comment on 12 Family Movies to Watch This Holiday Season With Someone Who Has Dementia

Michael Froman — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 19:00:20 -0000

Without hesitation, I would add "Its A Wonderful Life" to the list. Nostalgia, familiar actors and a great plot make this must-see. There's warmth, laughter and tears. And it may help jog memories for some elders.

Comment on Caring for a Spouse? 5 Reasons Stressed Spousal Caregivers Miss Out on Help

Higlands — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 02:14:03 -0000

I enjoyed reading the article and comments and have to agree with rk_smith. I have had an unbelievale problem with theft. One former good friend whom I employed was convicted of theft. This happened at least twice. I have become terribly isolated. I don't like to go anywhere as I am worried about my husband when I am away. I don't want to talk to anyone about my feelings because no one wants to listen to someone complain. I am going to have to reach out to some groups and to counseling.

Comment on Falling Down and Feeling Down: What's the Connection?

Neo — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 00:38:30 -0000

Comment on Adaptive Senior Clothing: A Welcome Solution to Dressing Challenges

jsign79 — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 19:13:29 -0000

Great information. Watching a loved one have trouble taking care of themselves can be so hard. I helped my grandmother when she was diagnosed with cancer and bought her some Adaptive Clothing so she could dress herself with as little help as possible.

Comment on Memory Trouble? Don't Assume It's Alzheimer's

all that I read — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 18:30:02 -0000

my Mother had it now my brother has just died @84 had it I am next to him hopeing it well jump over me. But the doctor is giving me ned. for it now

Comment on Memory Trouble? Don't Assume It's Alzheimer's

all that I read — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 18:25:30 -0000

just reading it help me I just thought I had the semptom

Comment on High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, Diabetes -- and Cancer?

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Comment on "Wings" For Frail Seniors Who Can't Travel On Their Own

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Comment on Reverse Mortgages: Time to Look at Other Options?

Markus Winchester — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 05:46:29 -0000

Thanks for your update Steve! If wasn't for you I wouldn't have my own reverse mortgage right now! I called them and I spoke to this guy, Mike, he was super friendly, very knowledgeable so I really recommend them as well, call him on 877-700-0534 !

Comment on Reverse Mortgages: Dragged Down By The Mortgage Mess?

Markus Winchester — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 05:45:42 -0000

Comment on Retirement Shock: How to Get Back on Track When Your Savings Are a Shambles

Markus Winchester — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 05:32:39 -0000

That was great information, wonderful article but if any of you have any doubt on how reverse mortgage works you should ask the experts! The next step is to locate a local mortgage professional to help with the process. Basic and simple information on reverse mortgage is what you are looking for? They helped me a lot and cleared tons of doubts! Check their website! http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com

Comment on Reverse Mortgages: Looking for Trouble?

Markus Winchester — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 05:11:31 -0000

Thanks Mr. Dale! It really did for me, wonderful and resourceful website, really simple I really recommend these guys! I called them and I spoke to Mike and I recommend anyone looking for a friendly lender call him as well - 877-700-0534!

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

raymondo — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 23:21:13 -0000

I really would like to answer yes and no but only one reply can be accepted. Yes because I think the 5 busters will give an immediate relief but only momentary. Hence I would call them "tensionbusters" ie providing some relief from the gripping feelings in the stomach when you are under stress. And no, because something bigger is required to "stressbust" and obtain more than just this fleeting relief - play an electronic game; read 3 chapters; 20 minutes exercise; listen to a relaxation cd; do some cooking etc

Comment on 12 Signs You Probably DON'T Have Alzheimer's

motherhen — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 14:08:43 -0000

It is very reassuring to see all these issues that stressed caregivers can experience alongside explanations for them as well as indications that there might be a problem. Thanks very much for a very nice Thanksgiving gift!!

Comment on Reverse Mortgages: Dragged Down By The Mortgage Mess?

Steve Dale — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 03:37:57 -0000

As I've stated in another article, those are really wonderful information, but totally outdated. Many things changed in 2009 so we need some sort of recycle on information about reverse mortgage. People are looking for it right now, just as I did. I'd like to recommend the site of the guys managing my own reverse mortgage, maybe it will help someone out there just as they helped me! www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com

Comment on Reverse Mortgages: Time to Look at Other Options?

Steve Dale — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 03:34:08 -0000

This articles is great but many things had changed since 2008 .. specially in 2009 and 2010! We need updated and simple information to guide us with reverse mortgage. Check www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com for updated and honest information, they might be what you're looking for!

Comment on Reverse Mortgages: Looking for Trouble?

Steve Dale — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 03:32:00 -0000

I totally agree with you Schafer! But until that doesn't happen for us, we have to live on with what is available. The name Mortgage always scared me for the last three years so when I first heard of reverse mortgage I was really afraid. Who should I trust? But after months of research I finally found someone honest to help me with my own reverse mortgage! If anyone is out there with the same doubts I had, check their simple and resourceful website! www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com !

Comment on Storm Watch: What About Reverse Mortgages?

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Comment on Reverse Mortgages: Dragged Down By The Mortgage Mess?

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Comment on Reverse Mortgages: Time to Look at Other Options?

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Comment on Reverse Mortgages: Looking for Trouble?

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Comment on Reverse Mortgages: Time to Look at Other Options?

rmlddotnet — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 01:49:13 -0000

this article is old - the program has changed and for better ( HECM saver has been introduced - there is the ability for seniors to use this program to purchase a home - and there are no upfront fees with some HECM lenders ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/is-a-reverse-mortgage-a-good-idea/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/when-how-repayment-begins-hecm-reverse-mortgage/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/hecm-saver-reverse-mortgage/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgage-myths/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgage-cons/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/how-much-money-can-i-get-with-a-reverse-mortgage/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgages-vs-annuities/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgage-information/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgage-disadvantages/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgage-loan/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/hecm-reverse-mortgage/ ) these articles will allow you to better understand the program

Comment on Reverse Mortgages: Dragged Down By The Mortgage Mess?

rmlddotnet — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 22:16:19 -0000

some 100,000 seniors took out a reverse mortgage last year ( now with HUD allowing banks to review your finances many will not qualify - we will still approve you no matter your credit ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgages-how-they-work/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgages-pros-and-cons/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgage-rates/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgage-calculator/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgage-disadvantages/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/what-is-a-reverse-mortgage/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/how-does-a-reverse-mortgage-work/ ) ( http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/advantages-and-disadvantages-reverse-mortgage/ ) these links will help you further understand the ins and outs of this program

Comment on For Cancer Patients, The Right Clinical Trial Can Be the Secret To Survival

dwr-immunol. — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 20:23:29 -0000

There is a new site just available for Lucanix lung cancer vaccine, (NSCLC), in Asheville , NC at the Allergy Immunology Research Center; Allergy Partners, 828-254-5366.

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

rmlddotnet — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 05:48:07 -0000

many seniors are now turing to a reverse mortgage as way to pay for medical expenses http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgage-information/

Comment on Reverse Mortgages: Dragged Down By The Mortgage Mess?

rmlddotnet — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 05:45:23 -0000

great article - seniors should be researching this option - not enough are - its a great program and many more seniors can benefit - last some 100,000 took out a reverse mortgage to learn more http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgage-information/

Comment on Reverse Mortgages: Looking for Trouble?

rmlddotnet — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 05:07:27 -0000

reverse mortgages are a great option for some seniors - there are many benefits - bottom line is retirement is not easy without tapping into the homes equity ( some folks retirement accounts have lost more than 75% since the recession ) http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgages-how-they-work/

Comment on Memory Trouble? Don't Assume It's Alzheimer's

tinikiepixie — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 16:44:26 -0000

im concerned , my husband asks me in the mornings what day is today ? do i have to do something ? he is depressed , he can be at bed for days without doing anything , i have done everything to help him , but he doesnt want help, im just ready to give up. he can the meanest man alive, he also gambles a lot. im going to see a phsycologist , and he is the one who needs one. !! its been 3 years of this , i cant do it anymore, he is a mess financially .

Comment on This May Be the Most Useful Alzheimer's Advice

Mrs.A — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 16:40:23 -0000

When the person you are taking care is your parent, it can be difficult to understand that the cognitive levels are going backward in time. This really helped me to think of some better ways to think about the situation. Thanks.

Comment on How to Find a Doctor Who Listens - and Cares

Anonymous — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 07:31:03 -0000

thinks sir your topic is so effective and very helpful. your topic "How to Find a Doctor Who Listens - and Cares" is very effective and i like this. We are also provided the Private Medical Insurance services. For more private health insurance cover so go over site http://pmi-4u.co.uk/

Comment on Struggling With the Risks of Change When You Care for Someone With Dementia

wowmomma — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 20:42:41 -0000

This article reinforced the feeling that sometimes I have to make choices that are best for me, rather than always trying to choose what is best for my mom.

Comment on 10 "Boredom Busters" for Frail Seniors

Anonymous — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 11:41:17 -0000

My mother has recently been moved to assisted living because of worsening dementia, giving up her dog, gardening and cooking (among other things) in the process. She's darning socks and interested in sewing together a sweater she was working on. She still tries email but her spelling and language skills are leaving her. I'm going to try simple knitting but not sure she'll be up to it. Really important topic.

Comment on Note to People With Arthritis and Diabetes: Move It or Lose It

Anonymous — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 03:26:36 -0000

Emphasising the need to keep moving when the first pains start. I have taken up golf croquet, not having been a sportswoman in recent years. I play about four times a week for a couple of hours and can thoroughly recommend it as a game that's not too demanding on the joints, can involve bending and picking up balls and having a good social spinoff!

Comment on 10 Little-Known Signs of Lung Cancer (Would You Guess a Change in Mood?)

beatbreastcancer — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 12:02:18 -0000

This doesn't surprise me. My father was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer that had spread to his liver and bones in 1983--one month later he was dead. For a number of years before this, he had become moody and rude, even calling my mother names (which he had NEVER done before). We had no idea what was going on, until that December when he was diagnosed. He had smoked like a chimney all his life, but rarely even got a cold. Previously, he had gone to his doctor complaining of bloody phlegm, and was told it was a calcium deposit in his lung and not to worry about it. When he died, it was just a week after his 59th birthday--he didn't get to see his first grandchild, or any of his grandchildren, I didn't have him to walk me down the aisle when I got married, and his verbal abuse of my mom (due to the cancer, I'm sure) created lots of tension in the family, and hurt her badly. Doctors need to pay attention to this study; especially with men, ESPECIALLY with older men, who are much less likely to tell their doctors that they are experiencing emotional problems. Thanks so much, Caring.com, for bringing this very important study to the public's attention.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

habib — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:28:26 -0000

Hello, Thank you four nice writing. It will help me for my research on prescription medications. Thanks.

Comment on 10 "Boredom Busters" for Frail Seniors

angela groundwater — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:17:28 -0000

I volunteer in a nursing home where I bring my children in. It is a particular win with the dementia sufferers... I think there should be more children around the elderly - lots of field trips from child carers and nurseries..

Comment on Cancer and Dementia Together -- a Deadly Situation

Anonymous — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 03:02:45 -0000

I feel your pain. my mom has mod to severe dementia and stage 4 colon cancer. She won't eat hardly anything. She has fallen 3 times in the last week. She can't stand on her own. She can;t tell us what hurts and how she feels. It breaks our hearts. She had teh right side of her colon removed but the cancer in in 7 lymph nodes. She couldn't tollorate the cemo. We have hospice and they are a big help. I just want to make heer comfortable and as happy as possible for the time she has left' We lost dad 2 years ago as well. I just wish she could tell us what she needs and wants. It.'s sooo hard. praying for peace and comfort.

Comment on Why People With Dementia Need Daily Exercise

Cowgirl1980 — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 16:33:51 -0000

This was a very helpful article. Mom is 88 and is in moderate (early) stage Alzheimer's she still likes to swim and do light expercise (gardening, walking). She also helps with folding laundry and using canned goods for strength training was also a good suggestion. Thanks also for reminding me that I need to do a "real workout" later by myself!

Comment on Forgetting Faces: What It's Like to No Longer Be Recognized by Your Dad

Seastar — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 16:57:27 -0000

Some days, we've lost the connection of mother-daughter at our house too. It is painful for me. Most days I feel like I am trying to catch up - sometimes she thinks I'm one of Moms' neices or a sister... If I make a mistake and think that I am her daughter today, then it's a bit of stress on Mom. So I have to ask lots of questions about 'who i am' in order to participate in a meaningful way for her. I love that she's trying to place me in her world. And it doesn't really matter who she thinks I am; I know that she's the person who gave me life, so now I'll make hers as pleasant as possible.... even if it's a bid sad for me at times.

Comment on How Furry Toys, Animals, and Dolls Help People With Dementia

bettina dickson rush — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:59:22 -0000

Stuffed animals are wonderful for people with dementia and Alzheimer's. My sister and I know from first hand experience with our mother, Betty Dickson. She had her stuffed calico cat named Caldonia for three years...they were inseperable! Our mother passed away in February with Caldonia in her arms while holding my sisters hand. We saw the joy she recieved from such a simple thing as a stuffed animal...so we launched our online company called Memorable Pets! We have 15 dogs and 5 cats and we give $2 per pet to ALZ research. We are proud of what we are doing ...please visit us at www.memorablepets.com

Comment on Making Homes Safer for Seniors: Talking Points

Caring Patty — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 01:42:14 -0000

Yes. It has good pointers on how to approach parents without hurting their feelings. We just want to make them safer in their homes as they get older and less flexible.

Comment on Forgetting Faces: What It's Like to No Longer Be Recognized by Your Dad

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 15:05:47 -0000

It is a very sad thing when your loved one has difficulty remembering who you are. In my case it is my dad (81) who suffers from vascular dementia. I help out with his care and with chores etc. two days a week. Over the past year, he has slowly started to confuse me with my mom, and vice versa. It also depends on the day, the time of day, or what "frame of mind" he is in. There are times when he he "dad" and he calls me by my name and/or acts as if nothing has changed. When he slips into another place and I seem to be unrecognizable, I can tell immediatel. I can see it in his eyes when he is "not really there." The first time it happened, I felt a sinking feeling inside and realized I had to face the reality that my dad was eventually really going to "slip away". But, it seems nature/life has a way of dealing us things in small doses so we can get used to them. So, over the past year, slowly more such episodes occured. Now at this point I accept them. I also am comforted in the fact that although he has trouble with visual and mental recognition.... he knows in his heart that I am part of him. We have a special connection and continue to enjoy certain activities together. These nobody else shares with him, and it is then that I feel the "bond" that is not explainable, but is so real. Dementia does not take away the emotioanl bonds people share, I know this now because I experience this all the time with my dad. Trust in this... and it will not hurt so much when your loved one does not "recognize" you. In their heart and soul they "feel you there".

Comment on When Dementia Makes Someone See Things That Aren't There

Caring Community — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 22:10:53 -0000

Hello Anonymous, Thank you for sharing your caregiving situation with us. If you'd like, you can post your questions in our Ask & Answer section here: ( http://www.caring.com/ask ). I hope that helps. Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on When Dementia Makes Someone See Things That Aren't There

Sun, 16 Oct 2011 19:05:43 -0000

I see my cousin 2 afternoons a week. She is always taking of her parents and of her sister who all died 20 years ago. She sets the table for them, makes breakfast for them and really seems to see them and carry on conversations with them. She saves newspapers because her father loves to read them, and goes shopping with her mother (wanders the neighborhood). The other day when I got there she said her father was still sleeping. I said I'd be quiet, so she let me in. When I got in, the bedroom light was on and the bed was made. She went in there and said, "Dad, I tnink it's time for you to get up." That was unnerving! She complains often that all these people are always coming over and she wishes they'd just leave her alone. She says the neighbor asked her why I don't come over anymore and she told her I had a house and dogs to take care of. She has no concept of time and wouldn't even sign cards for her grandkids, even though I bought them and she just had to sign her name. Her granddaughter just got married in July, but it was almost as if a stranger was . She just didn't act like the grandmother of the bride and, again, wouldn't sign a card or a check as a gift. Any ideas what stage she might be in and what we can expect in the future? She eats breakfast, but doesn't do much other cooking that I know of. She's very strong-willed and stubborn, was very active and a "social butterfly" type, but now, she;s pretty much alone. Her sons sees her every day but she thinks her daughter-in-law is out to "do her in". I really don't think a live-in caregiver would be the answer because she wouldn't listen to her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. My heart and prayers go out to all of you who go through this 24/7.

Comment on Parkinson's Meds Help -- But May Cause Scary Side Effects

smilebhappy — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 15:57:35 -0000

I have the same problem with my mom, she buys all kinds of junk food and keeps it in her office/computer room where she stays from the time she gets up till she goes to bed about 13 hr. a day everyday! She stays on her computer playing games if i dont bring her something to eat and drink she rarely comes out for ANYTHING she dosent even let her dogs out anymore if i wasnt here they would be going potty on the floor this is becomming exausting for me i DO EVERYTHING she also has a problem with lottery tickets ive tried talking to her dr (Igo to all appts. with her) but she just denies everything then i look like the bad guy i dont know what to do anymore

Comment on Parkinson's Meds Help -- But May Cause Scary Side Effects

wiitak — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 12:58:40 -0000

My husband has been on this for 10 years and we've not had any problems with compulsive behavior! I guess you really need to look at the operative words in the title of the article "MAY CAUSE"!

Comment on Parkinson's Meds Help -- But May Cause Scary Side Effects

smilebhappy — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 00:31:22 -0000

MY mom has some of these behaviors now i know what could be causing them, thank you i am alone in this except for the info i get from your website it is hard caring for someone you love when there is no help from anywhere

Comment on Cancer and Dementia Together -- a Deadly Situation

Anonymous — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 19:09:43 -0000

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Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

AURORARojas27 — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 14:01:22 -0000

One understands that today's life is expensive, nevertheless people need cash for different stuff and not every man gets enough cash. Hence to get some personal loans or bank loan would be a proper way out.

Comment on Ladies, Is a Grouchy Patient with Cancer or Another Illness Making You Miserable?

AURORARojas27 — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 11:57:16 -0000

Lots of specialists say that personal loans aid a lot of people to live the way they want, just because they are able to feel free to buy necessary goods. Moreover, a lot of banks offer financial loan for different classes of people.

Comment on Parkinson's Meds Help -- But May Cause Scary Side Effects

BridgetMendez — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 19:50:35 -0000

That's perfect that people are able to get the business loans moreover, it opens new chances.

Comment on Sex for Life

JAIMEMclean — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 04:49:22 -0000

When you are in not good state and have no cash to move out from that point, you would require to take the loans. Just because it should help you unquestionably. I take commercial loan every time I need and feel myself OK because of this.

Comment on SelfCare: 7 Things To Do When You're Stressed to Wit's End

dragonfly1963 — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 14:45:02 -0000

Mush on the floor....funny...oh how many times has that been the case:)

Comment on Sex Behind the Nursing Home Curtain

pho_57 — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 03:06:38 -0000

95? cool he should get a metal, cake and around of applause! lol

Comment on Sex Behind the Nursing Home Curtain

CA-Claire — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 17:05:41 -0000

I love this article! It addresses a difficult subject head on! My parents are now 90 years old, and up until 5 years ago were extremely sexually active (every night Josephine). Of course for quite a while Viagra was the assistant for my Father. My siblings are extremely squeamish about this subject, but since my Father had been speaking to my husband for quite a long time about these things (which of course he passed on to me), I guess I was used to it. After all, it is mostly likely that our own sexual habits were passed on to us from our parents. A very large decline in my parents cognitive reasoning happened starting at the time that my Mother had a vaginal prolapse (result of poor pelvic floor muscle tone - keep up those Kegels and do Pilates ladies!). The pessary the Dr. gave her failed to help, and for some reason, their Dr. obviously thought it was unimportant enough to have surgery. If I had been involved in her health care at the time, I would have insisted on her having the A&P repair to allow their sexuality to continue. Both of them have declined into dementia, and have other problems, and they live in Assisted Living, because it was most important to them that they be able to be together until the end. Who knows when that will be, but I sure wish they still had the ability to do what they both obviously loved (great cardio exercise for them as well). My advice is - get over your squeamishness and make sure that your parents wishes are honored until they dementia progresses too far. After all, it's their lives and their bodies that matter, not ours.

Comment on Bathing Blocks: When an Elder Refuses to Bathe

Sunny-23 — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 17:22:41 -0000

Very appropriate for me today. I was thinking about posting this question because I am having an extremely diffiuclt time getting my husband to take a shower. I don't have him shower daily but I do want him to shower a few times a week. But this is a major battle. I don't see any of the suggestions that might apply. He just doesn't remember when he last showered and doesn't want to do it....PERIOD! Sometimes he also has me in tears. This is the most diffiuclt of the issues I have in caring for him. I am wondering if anyone has any additional suggestions. He is usually very pleasant most of the time. I just think that his bodily cleanliness is very important since is in continent in both areas. I don't want any infections to occur.

Comment on How to Talk to Someone With Dementia: New Insights

Sunny-23 — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 17:12:06 -0000

My husband not only has severe dementia but he is also almost completely deaf. These tips were helpful to me. Using short sentences and also just giving one command at a time is something I will be careful to do. This is a very hard journey! I appreciate all the good information gleaned from this website. Thank you.

Comment on When Someone With Dementia Says, "I Want to Go Home"

Emily M. — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 20:49:30 -0000

Hello linda sharpe, Thank you very much for your comment. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Here are a few Ask & Answer pages that you may find helpful: (http://www.caring.com/questions/alzheimers-asking-dead-relatives-answer) and (http://www.caring.com/questions/my-mother-in-law-has-alzheimers-dementia-her-memory-is). Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on When Someone With Dementia Says, "I Want to Go Home"

linda sharpe — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 19:23:10 -0000

I am in a situation where dad died 30 years ago, she is looking for him and says he is alive and they fought and he left. she has lived with me for 16 years but each day she says she is visiting and has only been here 1-2 days. She is also calling us her kids by her sibling names she is only sibling still alive???

Comment on Talking to Someone With Dementia: Is It Okay to Fib?

mrscooper — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 16:08:44 -0000

Yes, this certainly was helpful. It is easier to tell a little porkie occasionally, especially when it puts a love-one's mind at rest.

Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

Anonymous — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 19:26:15 -0000

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Comment on 10 Tips for Better Sex After 50

Anonymous — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 19:17:37 -0000

Comment on 10 Tips for Better Sex After 50

Anonymous — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 19:16:43 -0000

Comment on Kicked Off Hospice for Not Dying Soon Enough

Carolina_D — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 23:10:29 -0000

I thought this was very informative, and like that it gave links to more info. Thanks.

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

sania89 — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 11:17:34 -0000

i thnk it was helpul for us n get benifit

Comment on Caring for an Alcoholic Parent: A Special Challenge

Anonymous — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 22:14:46 -0000

I just found this article and this forum. I'm currently dealing with this. My mother is an alcoholic, currently sober (I think) plus she's partially disabled. She needs me to help her with certain things, but she abuses my help. She's one of those "emotional vampires". Those super needy people who take and take and take? She doesn't need a caretaker, so therefore she doesn't qualify for assisted living or even an in home nurse (my husband and I cannot afford to pay for either). But every month so far that she's lived by us she's spent her money on alcoholc and taking a cab to the drug store to buy it (because she can't walk to the corner...or so she says). She's running me ragged, and is abusing my generosity. When she runs out of money to buy her dog food, she comes to me. She no longers asks me for the money. I have to draw the line at some things. Such as refusing to take her to the store and even threatening to leave her at the store if she bought alcohol (beer). But I can't let her dog starve, and she knows this. So she uses it against me, manipulates me in order ot get me to do things she can and should be doing herself (like taking her trash out). If she doesn’t need something, she doesn’t want anything to do with me. She never comes to my house. Never calls just to say hello. Only when she needs something. Like toilet paper and dog food because she's run out of money (she makes more htan enough on SSI). When I refuse to give in to her demands (she doesn’t even ask anymore, she just says, “give me this” or “take me here”), she plays the disabled card in an attempt to manipulate me and then gets angry. that article--what getting mad at your parent reveals about you--I needed to hear that. Thanks for posting it. And yeah. My mother didn't take care of me either growing up. She checked out and her boyfriend abused me. I'm at the point where I want desperately to walk away from her. But I feel guilty even thinking about it. because she's partially disabled. and she uses it against me.

Comment on Fighting for Breath: A Mother's Last Weeks of Life

Anonymous — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 13:55:14 -0000

Fighting for breath has been a personal fear of mine and have asked my children to see that doesn't happen to me - not being able to breathe easily. My wife has Alz and I will watch out for that problem with her, if she dies before me. It was good to find out that morphine helps.

Comment on 12 Family Movies to Watch This Holiday Season With Someone Who Has Dementia

Anonymous — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 00:16:58 -0000

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Comment on 10 Signs Your Parent Is Struggling Financially

ckuboushek78 — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 16:43:39 -0000

This is a pretty good general list of things to look out for. I think something you could add to the list is , "Stops buying apps on an iPhone/iPad". I know I spend a ton of money on those! There are surprisingly a lot of senior care franchise, http://www.startuphomecare.com, apps available though. You might want to take a look at some of them!

Comment on Adaptive Senior Clothing: A Welcome Solution to Dressing Challenges

jsign79 — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 15:41:49 -0000

This was so helpful my grand mom just moved in with my family and we’ve been having trouble dressing her. After reading this I started searching and I found Adaptive Clothing and they had a lot to choose from.

Comment on Dementia Alert: The Scary Complication Nobody Tells You About

Stumper — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 13:47:54 -0000

This was informative to me. I had not thought of this and now am at least aware that this could happen. I sure scares me though.

Comment on How to Get Siblings to Help Pay for a Parent's Care

lifesaver — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 20:51:03 -0000

my life took a turn for the worse when my husband was found dead at work ...blunt forced injuries to the head .... shortly after that my mom got sick seeing i was alone my family thought it would be good for me to move in with mom and i also agreed . My mother had copd and was under doctors care for that well one nite she was having pains in chest er is where we went and was asked by er doctor how long my mom had cancer we looked at each other in awe....well she did have stage 4 sm cell lung cancer i did all i could do and then some cognitive thinking good diet water and detox and some herbs before chemo /radiation,she survived that but then had tia. Now mind you we were getting by well with monies i had my job and she sm. cleaning biz we never asked my other siblings for help . things got worse for her had to stop working and went to work for her money was getting thin . yrs passed and we now hit rock bottom and do you know that not a one of them even pays for a bill nor do they come see her. they have me as the bad guy. they refuse to help in any way the oldest said the only way she will help is to send my mom back east to live with her....oh come on they all have awesome paying jobs and there is no reason why they should be so greedy . they think they would be paying my way ..... thats not what i am asking i am just needing them to help their momshe does have five kids not one..... well we lost our car repo we are now facing eviction and i am up against a brick wall . did i tell you that i suffer from ptsd bipolar and personality disorder.... i am under close eye of my doctors and support team ....but i need my family to step up and pitch in....god bless them

Comment on How to Get Siblings to Help Pay for a Parent's Care

CA-Claire — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 18:13:41 -0000

As the family's designated caregiver, I guess that I am pretty lucky. The two oldest children live 5 or 6 hours drive away, #3 child lives 45 minutes away, and I am 15 minutes away. Most of the time, things work very well. When it comes to family get-togethers is where we have our diagreements, so I consider us very lucky. Plus our parent's have enough resources to take care of themselves until they pass (they're 90 and both have AD, Dad is in congestive heart failure and more than half his stomach is in his chest cavity - 14+cm hiatal hernia). I feel for those that are struggling for resources, or that are fighting about 'things' that their loved ones have. For those that are the caregivers, at least we understand that it's the person that's important, not the 'things'.

Comment on What Alzheimer's Caregivers Need Even More Than a Cure

skepticalhusband — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 11:45:44 -0000

I would add a LIVING WAGE. So often a caregiver is expected to perform long hours of work without being reimbursed in a way that their own needs can be met...it is the same with child care.

Comment on What Is Someone With Dementia Thinking?

LifeisGreat — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 14:55:38 -0000

The fear in an elder's eyes is quite telling of the confusion that their experiencing while enduring Alzheimer's and the benefit that I realized while reading this article is to not allow this person to pull away and distance themselves in an empty solitude. I'm however more certain now then ever to be more insistent on keeping this individual's social structure alive and in tact for years to come. Much thanks to the Author for shedding light on this area of complex human behavior.

Comment on An Aspirin a Day Keeps Colon Cancer at Bay

linda sharpe — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 14:26:32 -0000

I find the hardest thing to cope with is the constant "where is Linda?" that is me and I will say I am here and touch her and yet I am not the right Linda in her eyes. When she answers the phone she tells people I am not here and so it is yelling at her not to say that and so the person can here and won't hang up. I want her to be able to do some of these tasks, fortunately this indiividual knew the situation and waited for me to get to the phone.

Comment on Wish Your Time Spent Caring for Older Family Members Could Be Paid? Maybe It Can

rosie_54nc — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 12:05:26 -0000

Wow a great idea, but i see they don't have it in in North Carolina.

Comment on Wish Your Time Spent Caring for Older Family Members Could Be Paid? Maybe It Can

rosie_54nc — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 12:03:34 -0000

Wow, a great idea.

Comment on Reconciling With Siblings After a Fight Over Caregiving for a Parent

botzgirl — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 18:34:38 -0000

My problem is that I am the youngest in a family of 4 siblings and I am the ONLY one who takes care of my mother. That included moving her to my home, nursing her back to health for 2 years when her brain tumor removal went poorly, forclosing on her house and moving her belongings into storage, finding an assisted living facility and dealing with her not wanting to do that, and a number of health issues after that. One of them calls once in a while, the other has visited once in the past 4 years and never calls to see how things are going and the other is completely off the radar. I am mad and I really don't care if I talk to any of them ever again. I call when mom has to go in the hospital or if her health changes in any way but other than that I have nothing to say to them. I forgive them, because that's the kind of person I am, but I don't have to talk to them. I don't know how on earth you can "reconcile" that.

Comment on Forgetting Faces: What It's Like to No Longer Be Recognized by Your Dad

2 U with love — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 23:14:06 -0000

My hubby is not too bad, but yesterday he had what is called a vasovagal attack, we were at the movies when it happened, it was the first time that I experienced the who are you? look, and it near broke my heart, there were so many of the church and town folk around, the Pastor took control, called the ambulance after a few hours in hospital he finally recognized me. I noticed though that he gave all the nurses a hug or kiss and asked how you going? so maybe he thought they were all me! I agree I've never been more lonely in my whole life.

Comment on What Is Someone With Dementia Thinking?

jim36 — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 21:16:52 -0000

thanks for all of your comments , it helps to know someone cares. JB

Comment on What Is Someone With Dementia Thinking?

jim36 — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 21:12:29 -0000

at least so far, not getting out of hand, hurray ?????

Comment on Foods That Prevent Memory Loss

yansteen — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 18:35:46 -0000

Most of the "diet" is common sense.

Comment on Depression and the Too-Secret Grief of the Dementia Caregiver

Jesuslovesyou — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 14:02:54 -0000

I knew I've been grieving my mom's losses for several years. Sometimes it's more intense than others, but I've often said, "She's dying 1,000 deaths"...same idea as the article. I'm just glad to know I'm not alone and that grieving prior to death is normal and expected. I do feel more prepared for the eventual end and know it will also bring some relief from watching this slow, struggle. So, this article was very affirming and I liked the way it clearly listed the "things that help". Thank you!

Comment on What Is Someone With Dementia Thinking?

blknwite — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 13:05:33 -0000

should be shouted from rooftops

Comment on What Is Someone With Dementia Thinking?

PoloMom — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 07:34:36 -0000

The value of touch with our loved ones is very obvious, Also making sure you are directly in front of them when you are speaking to them.

Comment on What Is Someone With Dementia Thinking?

Betty'sgirl — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 02:55:27 -0000

the importance of socializing for my mom in paticular.

Comment on What Is Someone With Dementia Thinking?

Florida47 — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 00:25:23 -0000

Not to feel alone as my mother slips farther away and my father starts his downward spiral. Thank you.

Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

CalgarySandy — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 18:46:26 -0000

It provided information that may be of importance to me in a straight forward manner.

Comment on What Is Someone With Dementia Thinking?

Sherizeee — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 17:47:10 -0000

Thank you for all of your tips and information. I write a blog about my journey with my Husbands Alzheimer's called "Living in the Shadow of Alzheimer's" I would love for you to visit it at www.sherizeee.blogspot.com. Thanks you for all of your help!

Comment on What Is Someone With Dementia Thinking?

Anonymous — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 17:22:09 -0000

i couldn't disagree more with most of this article. it's stuff like this that drives the current attitudes towards dementia which is: "they're gone, they're empty, nobody's home. " it's an appalling charade of mis-information. it's actually bigotry,. the kind that was equally commonly used against children with cerebral palsy a generation ago. i've worked with elders with dementia for 24 years. yes, their short-term memory's pretty shot, but they are feeling, responsive, amused, creative, relational -- IF, and here's the crunch, IF the caregiver can be any of those things. too much is blamed on people with dementia and too few caregivers take responsibility for themselves, their own emotional state and their own psychological well-being.

Comment on What Is Someone With Dementia Thinking?

elmerruthslo — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 17:13:51 -0000

It was re-assuring to read what I have observed. The emotional aspect and the touch are so important as one goes down into advanced Alz.

Comment on What Is Someone With Dementia Thinking?

Anonymous — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 16:37:45 -0000

Wow, this is my mother all over. The tragedy I face is that she is supposed to be taking care of my father, is a cruel failure at it, and won't change even when I point out to her that she could be the patient in need before he is (my father doesn't have any memory impairment, but my mother lies that he does because she wants to be rid of him). Recently, she even alientated the memory care unit that's linked to their living situation and now neither of them will be welcome to move into it if they need it. Mean people suck.

Comment on When a Call to Hospice Is a Gift to the Caregiver

Anonymous — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 12:43:24 -0000

Hospice care if the west was forced upon us by the hospital. Neither I or the patient wanted it. They totally disregarded the patient's wishes on pain control. the some if the nurses were rude and arrogant. the patient was alert, was quickly drugged to a stupor with a dose higher then was ordered. Pt out for day and 1/2. came out if it demanding not to be given pain medicine. They denied her further care. Her care needs were physical. Jr was like pulling teeth to get wound care supplies. They returned only to drugged the patient to death. I wish I had never had then step foot in the house.

Comment on How to Get Siblings to Help Pay for a Parent's Care

cyberdeck — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 23:07:15 -0000

What do you do when your siblings, all fairly successful in their careers, don't care? I came back to the state my family lives in, to discover that our mother had major memory issues and was neglecting her well being. I thoughtlessly went to my siblings and asked for help getting her to a doctor to find out what was happening to her. My siblings literally laughed in my face and acknowledged that they were aware of her state and were waiting for her to die. They made jokes about how she would die. That was the start of a year and a half battle to get help for my mother. Things I learned, the police, fire, paramedics and health care workers, among others, are legally required to report abuse and neglect even self abuse and self neglect. They are not subject to any kind of prosecution if they are mistaken, so there is absolutely no risk to them to do so. My mother lives in a town where I asked almost every policeman and paramedic for help for my mother and they all played dumb. (My mother had taken to calling 911 and wasting the towns time). The police and firemen had no problem denigrating and demeaning me, but help was not something they would provide. The way I ended up getting help was that the town got sick of my mother irritating them and sent out their elder abuse officer. Her solution was that she was going to condemn my mothers house and have her kicked out of the town. A real threat that did nothing to move my siblings. They were fine with it. After a few months, the officer came up with her next idea and that was that she threatened to prosecute all of my mothers children for abuse and neglect. That actually worked. The threat of publicizing their abuse was too much for my siblings and the day after getting this news, two of my siblings showed up and escorted my mother to the hospital. From there started the infighting over my mothers fairly small amount of liquid assets and cash on hand. In the hospital, on the day they took her in, while awaiting the psych evaluation, they were fighting in the halls about the cash in her wallet. Ironic when you consider that none of them are really short on cash. Thankfully because I was the object of their wrath for not leaving our mother to die, I stayed out of that one. So, how is it that I am to get these animals to contribute anything???

Comment on Reconciling With Siblings After a Fight Over Caregiving for a Parent

Anonymous — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 13:11:35 -0000

My brother weasled his way into control of moms POA and proxy the last 5 years. He frightened her by threatening to put her into a nursing home,withdrWing his affection etc. My older sister had helped her for years .when she moved south for the winter ,he brought mom in and Had her change her will leaving all of her 5 children out- giving anything left from her assets -which he illegally moved to his Account-to her grandchildren.he then proceeded to use his power to restrict x Acess to our mother in the nursing home - limiting her to the building and the floor.my mothers care is now a reflection of my brothers distorted sence of right and wrong. I can't so much as help her brush her teeth which Re minimally cared for in the nursing home. He chose to sell her house last summer,demanded we clean it out and put it on the market by august or he would stop paying the taxes.(mom gave us the house years ago) .he stopped paying the taxes anyway ,derailed the sale 6 months later,then decided when I brought him to court for breach of contract, to let his daughter live there free of charge. In retaliation for my lawsuit The has mad it almost impossible for me to see my mom. The nursing home is old and dismal.all of the patients are kept huddled around the desk so that they need fewer staff members to watch them.the stronger residents are kept from moving around by a nightmare device known as a geri-pad.this pressure sensitive alarm goes off If a she so much as shifts her weight.she is not allowed to stand except to go to the bathroom.if she stands , a staff member calls to her and tells her to sit back down. She is kept in diapers so she won't have to go to the bathroom between I have found my mother filthy at times .once i brought her to the bathroom (she is afraid to ask the staff so she often asked me) I took her and then call a staff member to come and help they never came. in the meantime ,my mother went by herself.The smell of the room from her body odor was so bad I gagged three times before i could enter the bathroom again. When I called the director and the staff their response was to restrict my visits to the "prison zone " immediately in front of the nurses station .they say there must be four staff members present when I'm there in case I dare and try to help her stand and stretch her legs .they say the residents "like it there" but all the while I sit there they tell them numerous times to sit back down.the pressure sensitive alarms go off and the staff yells at time to sit down without checking to see what their needs are or allowing them to stand. My mother is a virtual prisoner in this place.my sisters and other brother are not allowed to take her home for a visit or to a restaurant or even for a walk around the grounds . I live only one block from the hospital . My mother wears a diaper even though she's not incontinent this is so the staff doesn't have to bother with her except for designated times. she has to go to the bathroom in her pants if they're busy I was trying to alleviate this and they told me I could not even though my mother is strong enough to stand and walk with a walker for nursing home has become a reflection of my brothers distorted sense of right and wrong. he pays the bill so they have listen to his every wish and allowed him to put these restrictions on us at the nursing home.the home has become a virtual prison to my mother.he is terrified something may happen to her and he will lose control of the house . We spoke to the hospital administrator and brought in an ombudsman.so far there's been no recourse or answer to my appeal.mom remains in this limbo,closer to hell than heaven. The hospital\nursing home has become a reflection of my brother's hate.

Comment on "But Dad, You Just Ate": How Alzheimer's Changes Appetite and What to Do About It

Labe — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 04:32:02 -0000

Info on increase of eating-but still maintains weight. Was concerned

Comment on Caregiving Stress Buster: Your Top 10 Pet Peeves

Grandma99 — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 00:20:28 -0000

Regarding: I suppose my real pet peeve here is my own failure to be graceful about the need to slow down! Boy, do I understand! Daily I reprimand myself for not being more graceful and patient. I have always done everything as fast as I can, and the slower pace and repeating almost everything is really hard for me.I keep telling myself that I will adjust, but I need to adjust more quickly.

Comment on When Dementia Makes Someone See Things That Aren't There

bballman — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 23:00:54 -0000

Everyone say a prayer tonight for those who are the caregivers - for the Lord knows we sure need it. So for those of us who still remember - "Say goodnight David, goodnight Chet" - those were the good old days. Take care all.

Comment on How to Hang Out With Someone Who Has Alzheimer's

GEEZER81 — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 22:37:56 -0000

The wife and I are about to reach the end of the fifth year since she was diagnosed as being an Alzheimer patient. The previous thoughts are all important. That is, nothing beats personal attention. Like most everyone, I suppose, I had my first shocks with the "repeat" questions. Our relationship made a nice change once I learned to "just answer the question" even if it is the fiftenth repeat in the last day or two. Another activity, I believe, that does wonders for the situation is sharing a laugh about anything. I happen to like puns, and put them to work at every chance. The worst they are, the more we seem to laugh. This seems so lighten my wife's life far beyond the normal discussion of, for example, the stupidity of most of the usual political items in the media. Keep the laughter going, and also anything your loved one can rmember no matter how far that is in the history of your lives. We have been married for sixty one (61) years so we have lots of "past". And, if you have them, photo albums are and ever welcome item to share. (Even daily, if there's only one.) Getting old may not always be fun, but you can make it enjoyable with a little effort. Geezer81.

Comment on 12 Signs of an Over-Involved Caregiver

smilebhappy — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 19:59:03 -0000

a lot of the things in this article were true for me i moved here to care for my mom although ive been here a year i dont have any friends here i dont go out i dont do anything but cook, clean, handle bills and other matters for my mom and dr. visits ive realized i have no life outside moms house i dont even date anymore im not happy but i know i have to be here to help my mom

Comment on Cancer and Dementia Together -- a Deadly Situation

judyfarmer — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 20:13:34 -0000

My mother was recently diagnosed with probably lung cancer. Has two masses - one is 2.2 cm. The doctor says because of the size she doesn't know what else it could be. We are not going to put her through a biopsy because she couldn't take chemotherapy or radiation. She is 90 years old. Her dementia is terrible. The doctor says the lung problem is making the dementia worse. Has anyone heard of this. We have her at home and my husband has had to pick her up out of the floor three times today. All morning she was trying to get out the door to go home. So sad.

Comment on SelfCare: 7 Things To Do When You're Stressed to Wit's End

The Caregiver's Voice — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 14:04:37 -0000

#1 and #6. We need to take time to breathe...deeply. Why is it we forget to slow down and take deep breaths when the stresses of the world pile high upon our shoulders? Thanks for the reminder, Paula.

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

kilmatead — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 11:29:01 -0000

just reminding myself to stop and have a me moment x

Comment on Better Sleep for Dementia Caregivers: Two Fresh Solutions

no goverment help — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:15:02 -0000

my 80yrs old wanders at night and no napps durning the day.does not seem to get to her.but she is taking me down fast. she is my aunt and if i gi down she has to go to a state hospital.due to family members finically raping her.she never had children or no husband.so when i go down she lose's her quality of life.my husband is just before walking out the door. i am so scared for her.so if i got even two nights a week.i would be gratiful

Comment on Why So Many Doctors Seem Slow to Diagnose Alzheimer's

Bunnie Jo — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 00:53:42 -0000

Letting people know that Doctors have information and sometimes won't or maybe can't help. Letting people know that Doctors aren't perfect and most want to help but there are the few who don't want to be bothered. Also it was over all very good and informative information, thank you.

Comment on Caregiving Stress Buster: Your Top 10 Pet Peeves

yarnspinner — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 04:40:22 -0000

I might not know what im talking about, but it seems to me that if you imagine that you are a hired caregiver for someone else's family member and ignore whatever personal buttons the patient pushes, it might help since you would (at least in your imagination) essentiakly be a professional. Thinking like that might free you at least some of the time from the drama and leave you with more strength to deal in the times when you DO have to just be yourself.

Comment on Better Sleep for Dementia Caregivers: Two Fresh Solutions

Anonymous — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 21:03:02 -0000

$215? Holy crap, that's a lot!

Comment on SelfCare: 7 Things To Do When You're Stressed to Wit's End

drgnette — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 14:49:19 -0000

I wondered if the human brain could explode .... Breathing technics were helpful Thanks,

Comment on SelfCare: 7 Things To Do When You're Stressed to Wit's End

rlee5454 — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 12:10:20 -0000

Practical, easy to implement Bravo & thanx

Comment on SelfCare: 7 Things To Do When You're Stressed to Wit's End

Speedy — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 14:55:34 -0000

Good, easy advice!

Comment on SelfCare: 7 Things To Do When You're Stressed to Wit's End

teamumm — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 13:23:52 -0000

Just thinking about doing a few of these today, e.g. tea, chocolate, fresh air, was helpful to me. Going to do them, and I know they will be REALLY helpful!

Comment on Would You Rather Your Loved One Had Dementia or Alzheimer's or Frontotemporal Lobar Degeneration?

GeneG — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 15:19:48 -0000

I do not consider the word 'dementia' outdated. 'Madness' you say? Try being the sole caregiver for an 80 year-old Phase I spouse. Sudden emmotional outbursts (especially in public places) gives a 'madness' impression to the casual observer. The word 'Alzheimer's' is frightening and is interpreted by the average person as a death sentence. In his case, vascular dementia is what I have called it from day one.

Comment on Dementia and Pain: How to Assess When Someone Hurts and Needs Help

Anonymous — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 23:21:40 -0000

Crowd Editor,cry screen cover that start about state doubt couple data circle bag acquire recently with summer pension milk observe defendant regulation state grant driver rest possible properly air into return potential pass death capital offer democratic note take close ministry organise settle vary wind mountain spirit extra local part fix woman meal picture may match quarter editor identify enough organisation bus apply those win construction request tool rest position finish female expenditure maintain sort case physical survey quality display education youth organization ear interested our beyond spring much charge charge skin meanwhile lay

Comment on When Dementia Makes Someone See Things That Aren't There

tpandk — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 20:33:03 -0000

Good article and very eye opening.

Comment on Memory Trouble? Don't Assume It's Alzheimer's

Nellie Johnson — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 03:00:29 -0000

My mother died with this and I have a sister she have Alzheimer and my older sistes dieh with alzheimer

Comment on Who's Worse Off: People With Alzheimer's…or Their Caregivers?

Alzheimers Nurse — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 00:20:30 -0000

I am an LPN that works in a lockdown Alzheimers unit at least 40 hours a week and I love the people that I take care of! They can be a little trying at times, but I always do my best to see to it that they are well taken care of. I know firsthand that some are better off in a nursing home, if you choose the right one and visit them often. Elderly abuse can all too often come from stressed out family caregivers who are not experienced and do not understand how the disease progresses. Though you love them and have the best of intentions, keeping them at home may not always be the best choice for your loved one or for you.

Comment on Save Money -- And Strengthen Family Ties -- With A Multi-Generation Vacation

Linda (Sunstar) WA State — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 15:28:41 -0000

When our daughters were 7 and 9 we rented a motor home for a month and took my parents to Michigan so my Dad could visit his sister and her family, plus many other relatives and lifelong friends of theirs along the way between WA and MI. My father was disabled by a stroke and early dementia and it was the last time he saw his relatives. 27 years later, our daughters still talk about the trip and the great time they had with their grandparents. My folks helped share expenses and it cost us all less than $100 a day. (Of course gas was much cheaper in 1984!) We made several shorter camping trips with them, too, letting them sleep in our small trailer while we slept in our tent.

Comment on Struggling With the Risks of Change When You Care for Someone With Dementia

katrina traughber — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 03:37:27 -0000

thanks for the little things that help me i am trying an will nevergive up i love my mom an she will contintue to have daily peace

Comment on Cash and Counseling Program Offers a Paycheck for Care Giving

Flying Mane — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 16:29:25 -0000

Good Morning everyone! Please visit my facebook page if you are located in the Marshfield,Stevens Point and Wausau areas !

Comment on Cash and Counseling Program Offers a Paycheck for Care Giving

Flying Mane — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 16:19:15 -0000

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Flying-Mane-Mobile-Beauty-and-Grooming-Services/140318242713664

Comment on Let's Call It National Alzheimer's Disease Coping Help Month

Orien2 — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 23:13:05 -0000

have that many more people gone balmy mad? Great I got enough problems with traffic and food worries without worrying about senile deliquents as well. We have enough problems already I'm for shooting anyone over 80.

Comment on Depression and the Too-Secret Grief of the Dementia Caregiver

badson46 — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 17:21:23 -0000

Cathie, I'm sending you a hug and keeping you in my prayers. I know exactly how you feel. Your description of your mother sounds like you've been watching my mother and me for the past several months. I moved in with her after my Dad passed away in February and life has not been the same since. I sometimes get so frustrated or angry at the disease that I have to walk out the room and be by myself for a while. Mom wants to see Dad and her parents who have been gone for over 20 years. When she doesn't hear from them she thinks they don't love her anymore and doesn't know what she did that was so wrong. It's heart breaking. We don't know whether to tell her they're gone (which we've done in the past with disasterous results) or let her be sad because "they don't love me anymore". Those times are the worst - even worse than the evil-mean you describe which we have frequently. When she gets mean, I just leave her alone for as long as it takes for her to go on to another thought. Sometimes that's several hours during which time I check on her but do not let her see me. Best of luck with your mom. You will be in my prayers. Betsy D.

Comment on Dementia and Pain: How to Assess When Someone Hurts and Needs Help

The Caregiver's Voice — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 15:53:17 -0000

PLEASE DON'T LAUGH or JUDGE... This is a powerful article, not only for loved ones with dementia and other cognitive impairing illnesses, but also for our BELOVED ANIMALS. For 7+ years--after caring for my late father with Alzheimer's--my husband and I have been caring for a cat with FIV (Feline Aids Virus). Early last year, during a blood test prior to getting his teeth cleaned, they found his liver values to be out of whack. This started a regimen of natural treatments that didn't resolve the issue. DON'T LAUGH...there's something to be learned here from an animal that can't communicate; much like my father couldn't express pain after one of his molars was removed. Our orange tabby got more tests--ultrasound, etc. LYMPHOMA in the spleen was the diagnosis late last year. The veterinarian (and we) thought we only had a couple months with our kitty. Well, he's still with us. Now, he experiences pain but we can’t figure out where exactly. It seems to change and yet he purrs and then sometimes meows then nips… These tips in the article surely apply to our loved ones as they do to the animals in our life. The key is loving patience and attentiveness.

Comment on In Men With Type 2 Diabetes, Bedroom Blues May Signal a Broken Heart

Emily M. — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 16:47:29 -0000

Thank you very much for your question. As it says in the article "Men should be encouraged to report ED to their healthcare professionals." Unfortunately, we are unable to diagnose medical problems for our site members, or provide medical guidance online. While members of our community may respond to your question, we recommend that you contact a doctor offline regarding this medical issue. Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on In Men With Type 2 Diabetes, Bedroom Blues May Signal a Broken Heart

Anonymous — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 00:05:39 -0000

im a very controled diabetic. i cant keep a stiff erection at all. any idea why. an besides that i dont smoke. did but quit. in my late 50s but havent had a great erection for 10 to 12 yrs. yeah thats a problem no one can help with. any ideas???

Comment on The Junk Wars: 8 Ways to Get Rid of Aging Parents' "Stuff" (and Your Resentment Over Having to Deal With It)

Adalinda — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 12:55:50 -0000

When I moved into my mother's house it was even diffulcult for her to let go of half consumed take-out! Now she is confined to bed and it is easier to get things out - I have been amazed at how many items that are still useful that people on 'FreeCycle' want and need. Most of the six partial sets of dishes have gone to the homeless shelter, etc., Now, what to do with the 30yr collection of fossils and minerals!

Comment on Caregiving Stress Buster: Your Top 10 Pet Peeves

Robyndanielle — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 09:17:56 -0000

Only a small niggle but my husband drives me mad when we're watching TV in the evening. He will constantly nod off, head back, snoring then wake himself up with a loud snort. This happens every night and I find I'm watching him when I should be watching the programme. To top it all I've got a dog who snores as well. Between the two of them its a wonder I get to watch anything through. He(my husband) denies he's been asleep and refuses to go to bed till I do.

Comment on Yummy Soft Foods For Seniors

LindaSue — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 01:41:09 -0000

@C Siganoff ~ there may come a time when it hurts too much to swallow. . . do not be afraid of having a feeding tube temporarily installed. . . will keep dad much better hydrated and fed. Just an observation ~ a friend did so and did very well.

Comment on Yummy Soft Foods For Seniors

LindaSue — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 01:37:20 -0000

Made the family a pasta hamberger dish and blended for my sweet patient. Spread on crackers, she ate all! She'd normally have spit out much of the meat, even though choped well. . . Happy sigh ~ Most anything could be similarly blended. . . no need to not have yummy meals!

Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

bellaw — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 09:46:21 -0000

its true I had two of the above mentioned precautions after a hysterectomy but not the heparin. I had a pulmonary embolism at age 46 after surgery and luckily survived.

Comment on Is It Okay to "Spy" on a Relative With Suspected Dementia?

Jane F — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 06:56:31 -0000

Update on our situation. It had been over 4 and a half years since contact between my husband and his siblings, then he got a call and was told several weeks ago that the brothers were all coming to their moms house to spend time together and with their mom! Wow. My husband was a bit uncomfortable, but did go down...2 different days even to visit! My husband said mother is causing issues with neighbor (her delusions). One sibling even got upset with her and told her he wasn't playing into her delusions. Brilliant. Chiding her for behaviors she obviously cannot control. She cried and was upset. A few days ago she called my husband with tales of neighbor stealing her blind and said neighbor was telling her I was the one ransacking her house and stealing from her. Neighbor is a renter, and has never seen me, does not know me, and did not live there last time I was involved with mother in law over 4 years ago. She is misplacing items and calling police or writing letters, then finds items and says they were returned to her by thief. Car damage to fence post, loans taken out then when payments are missed she claims neighbor got the loan in mothers name fraudulently without her knowledge because bank called her! Oh dear. Checks cancelled due to "theft"which will no doubt cause her problems with the bank and those who she wrote the checks to. Neighbor is upset by all accusations and police reports and is calling Adult Protective Services, which may actually get the needed help started (if they will do something).

Comment on 5 Hot-Weather Bummers for Alzheimer's Caregivers

ShannonM — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 14:18:33 -0000

Thanks for this article! Being a Floridian, we see the pool concerns a lot. Once had a client who we assessed, family said he'd had two falls in to the pool as he felt like he still needed to tinker with it/check the water. Quickly got a pool fence, better door lock and they hired a pool service and made reminder notes to him about that. Some of the safety tools re: pools for children's safety (such as the pool fences, covers, locks) are good tools. The vacation piece is so true and the heat of summer can make caregivers feel even more drained! We have been focusing this month on respite care in our blogs and some of these articles may be helpful to caregivers thinking of a break but unsure how to go about it/worried about doing so: http://www.agingwisely.com/caregiver-breaks-do-you-know-your-options-for-respite-care/, http://www.agingwisely.com/respite-care-tips-to-prepare-substitute-caregivers/, http://www.easylivingfl.com/creating-a-care-team-caregiving-together/.

Comment on Caregiving Advice From a Doctor Who's Been There

Anonymous — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 05:42:51 -0000

I have been looking for information on this very topic and I am pleased to say that I found this blog to be concise and to the point. I appreciate that very much.

Comment on Your Parent's Pet: Friend or Foe?

Anonymous — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 17:25:51 -0000

I know an older person who "gave up" and lost their will to live when her dog was taken away. She did not speak to her daughter again.

Comment on Save Money -- And Strengthen Family Ties -- With A Multi-Generation Vacation

The Caregiver's Voice — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 15:59:06 -0000

I agree! I've been saying this since the economy has gone badly for so many. This will help us return to three or more generation families as we were only a generation or two ago. There are many advantages to this as Melanie shares in her article--like Grandma looking after the kids while Mom and Dad have alone time...or Grandma and Grandpa being close to a loving caring family while helping share expenses. We've grown too far apart and it may be time for us to learn how to come back together.

Comment on When Someone With Dementia Says, "I Want to Go Home"

Anonymous — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 06:12:25 -0000

I want to go home..............isn't about dementia or alzheimers...........it is the soul wanting to returnt o the souce. Tired of all the BS the rest of you yuppies, preppies and 'go about being normal, in the matrix, blind sheeple" accept as "normal'. Wake TFU............We are a spiritual being having a physical experience. Not a phical being having a physical experience. You've taken the blue pill and have chosen to remain asleep allowing a corrupt (now world) government to control, monitor and analyse your every movement. I want to go home.............away from this tyranny is the cry of a freeman/woman but your're so wrapped up in you daily distraction, being dumbed down and deuinfied you don't see the NWO train coming. Like dumb cattle awaiting slaughter.

Comment on Frugal Living Wins Many New Fans

klcanddaughter — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 07:31:15 -0000

I buy chicken thighs in bulk and clean them and freeze them,I also buy frozen vegs.when I can get them for about $1. a bag. I also have a little garden growing in the back yard .I try to buy frozen fish when it is on sale and keep it in zip lock bags in portions for dinner.

Comment on Do Good Daughters Park Their Parents With Dementia in Respite Care Overnight?

Britalia — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 22:03:26 -0000

My mom has lived with me for 33 yrs. Now she is in early stages for alzheimers dementia and is always letting me know that she cannnot survive with anyone else.The fact that I am hispanic and the only daughter, complicates things even more. I have been very sick for the past 2 months with a 10-day hospital stay while my husband has been taking care of her and me at the same time. I had a serious talk with my brothers who live in another state and finally they are taking her for a couple of months while I recover, rest and maybe take a vacation. Everyday she cries, telling me that she knows she is not coming back and reminding me that she wants to be cremated and where to take her ashes. The whole day I am angry, depresed, upset, feeling sorry for her, very guilty, etc . .Sorry about this comment being so long but THANK YOU for letting me vent.

Comment on 10 Early Signs of Prostate Cancer That Often Go Unnoticed

tony avalos — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 18:22:09 -0000

I 'll pray for all the people whom are geting hopeless, ion any sense, please never give up on medical advise, for i knoe i have been there many time's before , on the other side. I love th e health care people. they are very special people!

Comment on 10 Early Signs of Prostate Cancer That Often Go Unnoticed

tony avalos — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 18:17:20 -0000

Thank you for such detail on health, i wanted to get into this field, i have a big concern for healty, as well as the sick, or, special people of any age or race, ! i t hink that awareness, and education, is the way tpo salvation, and freedom of any desease, mind or body. Thank you for all the love.

Comment on Reconciling With Siblings After a Fight Over Caregiving for a Parent

Emily M. — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 22:19:33 -0000

Hi ddd1968, Thank you very much for your comment. I am so sorry to hear about the situation you've been having with your brother. That sounds very difficult. Here is a blog post that you may find helpful for your situation: ( http://www.caring.com/blogs/dear-family-advisor/sibling-more-time-with-parent ). Additionally, if you can also post your question in our Ask & Answer section here: ( http://www.caring.com/ask ). I hope that helps. Good luck and take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on Final Messages

tryme111 — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 02:25:23 -0000

yes it was.

Comment on Reconciling With Siblings After a Fight Over Caregiving for a Parent

ddd1968 — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 01:41:05 -0000

I am having a problem with my brother. My mother was diagnosed with lung cancer 7 months ago. She is now in hospice and has two weeks to live. I have been communicating with my brother about her health for 7 months..she has been declining for a month and I have pleaded with him to get here. He lives 8 hours away but is very finacially stable to fly or drive. He still has not come. There are no favorites in my mind. I read on facebook that he is out sailing with his family. Can someone tell me how I could even want to be around someone like this. Or how would I ever forgive him? I have been taking care of her and I have to work to pay bills. My friend said she learned she could not control her brothers. I don't feel like I am trying to control him. She is the only family we have or known.

Comment on When Dementia Makes Someone See Things That Aren't There

Betty'sgirl — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 03:33:04 -0000

Learning that this symptom with alz. is related to a visual problem which my mother has.

Comment on Alzheimer's Aggression Is Scary, But You Can Get Through It

jpb — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 16:11:54 -0000

I appreciate having the information about dealing with aggressive behaviors before they have occurred. My husband is a large man and physically very strong, so I can see the potential for situations that will need responses that will keep both of us safe. I will also share this good information with my support group.

Comment on Can You Escape From Alzheimer's Caregiving...By Reading Stories About Alzheimer's? 4 New Books

Guadalupe30VINCENT — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 13:30:30 -0000

I would like to propose not to hold off until you get big sum of money to order goods! You should take the personal loans or auto loan and feel comfortable

Comment on Do Good Daughters Park Their Parents With Dementia in Respite Care Overnight?

farkleplenty — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 03:54:25 -0000

"what kind of daughter (or son) leaves a parent for a week or two?"..... My answer: a rich one!!! who can afford a caregiver 24/7 while the daughter goes away? if only...........

Comment on Do Good Daughters Park Their Parents With Dementia in Respite Care Overnight?

kittenany — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 18:06:05 -0000

I should not feel guilty about leaving my husband and having a free time for myself. I will feel better and saner when I get back.

Comment on Do Good Daughters Park Their Parents With Dementia in Respite Care Overnight?

Emily M. — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 16:57:43 -0000

Hello anonymous, Thank you for your question. Many of the tips in this article can absolutely apply to spousal caregivers as well. I hope that helps. Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on Do Good Daughters Park Their Parents With Dementia in Respite Care Overnight?

deafmack — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 09:39:22 -0000

My Brother comes and gives me a few days off every 6 to 8 weeks. Before I was doing this with no break at all till I went to a caregiver conference and learned how important taking care of myself first was. I learned to put my foot down and demand the breaks or "mini-vacations" as it were. It has really helped and I now realize how important it is to do this.

Comment on Do Good Daughters Park Their Parents With Dementia in Respite Care Overnight?

Anonymous — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 01:32:59 -0000

What about the spouses of dementia victims?

Comment on Do Good Daughters Park Their Parents With Dementia in Respite Care Overnight?

daisyfairygirl — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 17:09:48 -0000

Thank you for this article! It makes me feel better, because this is what I'm going through now! But I find it hard to get reliable, willing, respite care. My sisters and brother won't help, and my inlaws don't like to either. I have asked nursing homes but there is paperwork and dr. To sign and at least a weeks notice. Also medicare won't pay unless in hosp. For 3 days before, and medicaid won't either! So its out of pocket at least 150.00 to 180.00 a day!

Comment on Better Sleep for Dementia Caregivers: Two Fresh Solutions

no goverment help — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 15:13:31 -0000

we lost our spring vacation due to my 81yr old aunt w/dememtia.lost everypenny on that but we really need to get away. is there a place for her for 2 weeks that the government of medicare a or b will cover. she cannot get any medicad for 5 yrs. due to what other family members did to her.and put her out on the side of road and left her there. homeless w/dememtia..so no medicaid for yrs old

Comment on Take the New 5-Minute Alzheimer's "Test" –- And Then Do This

Emily M. — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 21:03:47 -0000

Hello joe'ncharlotte and sue915 If you'd like to take the test, you can view it here: ( http://www.caring.com/static/bmj_test_your_memory.pdf ). To score your test, please visit this link: (http://www.caring.com/static/bmj_memory_test_scoring.pdf). Please let me know if you are still having trouble getting to that page! Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on Take the New 5-Minute Alzheimer's "Test" –- And Then Do This

joe'ncharlotte — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 14:51:14 -0000

Where is the test???? I tried one of the first links and the link was broken.....

Comment on Take the New 5-Minute Alzheimer's "Test" –- And Then Do This

sue915 — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 13:05:40 -0000

I was unable to access the test. Am I missing something? I am not a health care professional.

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

Anonymous — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 17:33:27 -0000

Just re-enforced my gut feeling, thanks

Comment on The Junk Wars: 8 Ways to Get Rid of Aging Parents' "Stuff" (and Your Resentment Over Having to Deal With It)

anew.approach — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 06:58:38 -0000

For a tidier home, especially when you can't maintain it yourself on a regular basis, you can avail of cleaning help. http://anewapproachcleaning.com suggests choosing reliable and competent services.

Comment on Save on Seniors' Grocery Bills (and More) Online

shiva — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 04:31:09 -0000

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Comment on Save on Seniors' Grocery Bills (and More) Online

midd — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 10:54:03 -0000

Comment on The 5 REAL Reasons You're Stressed –- and How to Tame Them Now

cookiech — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 01:28:17 -0000

It described me. Suggested that I find new support which I just found here. The criticizing brother which is truly sapping my energy. I do have to start saying NO when I know I cannot do more. Asking for help even if it is not myself but will help me in the long run. Write or say things just to get it off my chest. How nobody understands me. I thought I was just going nuts because I don't have anyone's support right now. Well; THANK YOU!!

Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

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Comment on Save on Seniors' Grocery Bills (and More) Online

midd — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 11:58:13 -0000

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Comment on Depression Increases Risk of Stroke in Elderly

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Comment on Diabetes Drug Combo May Keep the Mind Healthy

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Comment on Depression Increases Risk of Stroke in Elderly

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Comment on Give an Alzheimer's Caregiver the Gift of Being Pesky

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Comment on Give an Alzheimer's Caregiver the Gift of Being Pesky

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Comment on Caregiving: Does it Have to Be This Hard?

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Comment on Give an Alzheimer's Caregiver the Gift of Being Pesky

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Comment on Depression Increases Risk of Stroke in Elderly

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Comment on Give an Alzheimer's Caregiver the Gift of Being Pesky

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Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

m320753 — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 23:52:54 -0000
i've found out that get a store discount card, i use wellness from rite-aid and a prescription discount card that are always being mailed out to the public.using these 2 cards saved me $80 for a prescription that united health care wanted $120 for. it was a 1 time prescription , but still saving $80 with 2 cards that didn't cost a penny put a smile on my face. i also had to have my teeth pulled due to gingivitus from my COPD meds and was sent by an area association on aging. i went to a free senior health clinic, saw a dentist who said yep the agency should pay for all your work as this was a direct result of the meds. no problem we'll take care of it turned out to cost me $4,000 almost 60% of the total bill. plus i refused some treatment from the dentist they sent me to and had my teeth pulled elsewhere saving the agency over 2 grand. guess what ? they took the savings off their end of the bill. so be warned that everything these local agencies on aging promise you is sometimes not as free as you think. sorry for venting but it still gets me angry

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

marcromero — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 20:21:24 -0000
Great information! I also found a site where you can print a free card that you can use to save up to 75% on prescription medications. This card is good at over 54,000 pharmacies nation wide. here is the link http://www.freerxplus.com/FRP00442/en/PrintFreeCard.html

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

marcromero — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 20:18:42 -0000
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Comment on Cancer and Dementia Together -- a Deadly Situation

Anonymous — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 21:00:54 -0000
It is illogical and unkind to force treatment on someone that has a poor quality of life. Death should be accepted as part of life and the remaining time should offering comfort and love. Families should visit, see old friends, make arragements for death. Treatment is painful, confusing and expensive. Death in our 70sand 80s should be expected. Just because we can prevent death does not mean we should.

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

theboysnan — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 23:46:12 -0000
We've just found an invaluable Geriatric Psychiatrist (specializing in Memory Disorders) who provided time and gentle questioning and testing of my husband. His medication dosage has been adjusted, and a second appointment scheduled - with instructions to e-mail or call with any concerns or questions! I was astounded at the extent of my husband's loss. I found that he cannot easily come up with the name of the town we live in, do simple math, or even tell time accurately. He could not add the correct numbers to the drawn face of a clock, remember the current day, month or year. Yet he came away from this visit feeling elated at the support he felt...as did I! Not feeling SO alone did it! As a caregiver, this was the single most supported

Comment on Decoding the Secret Language of Alzheimer's

caregiving wife — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 14:48:26 -0000
Paula - thanks for another insightful, helpful article. I find this website to be very valuable for information and for sharing and venting with others who "get it"! Just a comment on repeating something when not getting a response. Watch your loved one and know when to stop repeating. There are times I realize my sweet hubby simply isn't going to understand what I'm saying no matter how many times I would say it. That's when it's time to just move on before he gets agitated. I agree that we definitely want to give our loved ones all the respect, kindness, and courtesy due them in whatever communication mode we use. I feel my husband deserves even more respect than ever, as he deals bravely with this devastating disease with all the patience and dignity he can. How could I do any less for him?

Comment on Depression Increases Risk of Stroke in Elderly

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Comment on Give an Alzheimer's Caregiver the Gift of Being Pesky

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Comment on Depression Increases Risk of Stroke in Elderly

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Comment on Forgetting Faces: What It's Like to No Longer Be Recognized by Your Dad

Emily M. — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 18:07:36 -0000
Hi jpreaves, Thanks for your question. If you'd like, you can post your question in our Ask & Answer section, here: ( http://www.caring.com/ask ). Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on Forgetting Faces: What It's Like to No Longer Be Recognized by Your Dad

jpreaves — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 14:57:29 -0000
This is not a comment....it's a question? When my wife no longer recognizes me I sense that I will not treat her like she is my wife........example, I always give her a kiss on the lips when we part for any reason. would she repel this action if she doesn't recognize me as her spouse? With all that has happened up to this final stage of the disease I think this will be the one I will hate see come most. I wonder, is it just the initial shock, then everything is alright, or does some change come about that no one likes to talk about. Or, maybe we all handle it a little different............? Jean-Paul

Comment on What to Feed Someone With Memory Loss

straberry — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 02:16:37 -0000
beans, tomatoes, berries, bananas, grapes, raisins, basil, curry, cumin, garlic, fish, green tea with only fennel or lemon or honey. soy, b complex, folic acid,.

Comment on One Cheap, All-In-One Pill Could Cut Heart Disease Risk in Half

tasbury — Thu, 26 May 2011 14:30:16 -0000
"They would have a heck of a time making me take this cocktail! I don't plan to ever take a statin, unless I've already had a heart attack, and my blood pressure is fine, as is my blood sugar. I do not trust big pharma, and don't plan to take their noxious "cocktails". I'm 67 and I approve this message. " You're and idiot and neeed looking after. This is the best thing to come along since sliced bread. Us Veterans that were exposed to Agent Orange and are now dying from heart failure will rejoice and be glad to be part of the researxh.

Comment on Sex Behind the Nursing Home Curtain

Kailua2 — Wed, 25 May 2011 21:25:09 -0000
That you can be so compassionate and understanding of the needs of the elderly.

Comment on How to Find a Doctor Who Listens - and Cares

GregMiller — Tue, 24 May 2011 23:21:01 -0000
Great subject. My mother had emphysema and would not leave her doctor of 20+ years even though I could see she would not survive under his care. My brother actually found a DO (Osteopath) who was very unlike the MDs who seemed arrogant. This guy listened and spent more time in one visit with my mom than my mother's trusted doctor had in over a year. Dr. Coleman in Ormond Beach, FL is truly a gift from God! After seeing Dr. Coleman my mother had no problem when we did not return to the old doctor.

Comment on Don't "Misunderestimate" People With Dementia

ernielly — Mon, 23 May 2011 17:01:57 -0000
I know how awful it can feel when my energy and hope sinks but I also know how joyful and exhuberant I am when creativity and humour takes over! Everytime I succeed in making the effort to promote creativity and laughter, it brings that sweet sense of pleasure. The risk is well worth it.

Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

mgc — Sun, 22 May 2011 14:06:04 -0000
Having the 8 indicators for Alzheimer's Disease together in a summary list. Thank you!

Comment on When Someone With Dementia Says, "I Want to Go Home"

primarykittens — Thu, 19 May 2011 11:39:18 -0000
I have really enjoyed reading the articles that Caring.com provides. I am the oldest of 3 and now my mother's guardian. She has been in a nursing home facility for the past 6 months. I am planning on taking her home (between her house and mine) for June and July; see how it goes.

Comment on Alzheimer's Caregivers' #1 Challenge

Emily M. — Wed, 18 May 2011 20:30:54 -0000
Hi Doberman, Thank you very much sharing with the community. I'm very sorry to hear you've been having a difficult time with your loved one lately. The thing about caregiver anger is, it's normal and you shouldn't feel guilty because. Learn more about caregiver guilt here: ( http://www.caring.com/blogs/self-caring/what-getting-mad-at-your-loved-one-says-about-you ). One tip I've heard other caregivers share is to re-direct your anger at the disease, not the person. I hope that article helps. Please remember to take care of yourself, you are important too! Best -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on Alzheimer's Caregivers' #1 Challenge

Doberman — Wed, 18 May 2011 19:51:41 -0000
I am often consumed with anger. I don't know why I get so mad at my husband when he does things he shouldn't, I think I haven't accepted his condition. I can't stand being in the house 24/7 and try to get out if only to the grocery store. He doesn't seem to mind just sitting on the sofa and watching TV, even if it's children's stories or nonsense TV. He can watch golf from morning until bedtime if I didn't change the channel occasionally. I get angry often then feel guilty. What do I do??

Comment on Caring for an Alcoholic Parent: A Special Challenge

Anonymous — Wed, 18 May 2011 12:48:37 -0000
I had to leave a good job and friends, a home I built for myself, behind to care for an old alcoholic parent. These days I hate where I live and everyday I am secretly seething that I have to be here. But I know if I hadn't moved the guilt at not doing anything would have eaten me.. it's a catch 22 though because leaving my friends and career behind - all that I had made for myself in 10 years - has ruined me. It's like being in my Mom's prison.. just a long term waiting room with very little, if no, joy. And here I sit on watching as she carries on drinking.. it's the worst thing a parent can do.

Comment on What Is Hospice? And Why Hospice Needs a PR Campaign

JennyB — Sun, 15 May 2011 14:49:24 -0000
Another myth: Palliative care and hospice are synonymous. They're not. Palliative care is appropriate from the time of diagnosis and can be provided along with curative treatment. It is the medical specialty focused on improving the quality of life of people facing serious illness. Emphasis is placed on pain and symptom management, communication and coordinated care. Palliative care treats people suffering from serious and chronic illnesses including cancer, cardiac disease like Congestive Heart Failure (CHF), Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), kidney failure, Alzheimer's, HIV/AIDS and Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS). Palliative care relieves symptoms such as pain, shortness of breath, fatigue, constipation, nausea, loss of appetite and difficulty sleeping. It helps the patient gain the strength to carry on with daily life. It improves the patient's ability to tolerate medical treatments. And it helps the patient to better understand his/her choices for care. http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/palliativecare.html I recently switched my loved one, who has moderately-severe Alzheimer's, from a geriatrician to a palliative care specialist (also a board certified geri). Wow, what a difference! And since the new doctor splits her time between palliative care and hospice care, we can stay with her all the way. I wish I'd known about this healthcare option a long time ago.

Comment on Vascular Dementia Resources for Caregivers

blueberry — Tue, 10 May 2011 04:02:17 -0000
This article seems so very resourceful! I will read the links to find out whether there is a way to narrow down our loved one's condition. We ruled out hydrocephalus, but the doctors do not want to make a clear diagnostic (AZ or vascular dementia). Unfortunately my loved one started to develop high blood pressure about 6 years ago, but refused to take any medication (she is an advocate of natural treatments). Now we give her prescripion medications together with Aricept but unfortunately we believe that the damage is already done from all those years untreated.

Comment on When Someone With Dementia Says, "I Want to Go Home"

blueberry — Sun, 08 May 2011 05:14:02 -0000
Indeed, the concept of "home" is clearly a "safe place" where, by magic, the person with dementia will finally remember everything, find everyone he/she loves (including the deceased...), and where they can finally catch up... The place sometimes is described as the birth place, early age house or a mixture of several locations. We noticed that time and space became totally relative for them. Yesterday represents years ago, whereas months ago can sometimes look like yesterday... Thank you so much for this inspiring article.

Comment on "Chemo Brain" Can Be a Serious Concern for Cancer Patients

drewbador — Fri, 06 May 2011 19:11:44 -0000
I miraculously stumbled on this site this morning during my regular news search and thank God for putting it in my line of site. I now feel so much better and justified that so many others share my exact symptoms of chemo therapy. I have nothing additional to offer except my sincere thanks to all before me who have shared here and my promise to check in regularly and share anything I can that is different from what I have read. How happy to know that brain fog is real and I am not losing it; that two naps a day and a full night's sleep is "normal" for many of us; that being unable to stay awake for more than 4 hours at a time is also normal for some of us. At least I can still type and share that I love each and every one of you. Bless you all for your input and support!

Comment on A New High-Tech Solution to Alzheimer's Wandering -- And a Warning

Emily M. — Thu, 05 May 2011 20:30:07 -0000
Hi Shell Jersey Shore, Thanks for your question. Door alarms are one great way to go if they don't want to wear anything. I have also heard baby monitors in the bedroom at night. Here is a great article with a few more suggestions: ( http://www.caring.com/articles/alzheimers-how-to-handle-wandering ). I hope that helps! Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on Don't Have Health Insurance? Here's How to Get Health Care Anyway

wheelchairwolf — Thu, 05 May 2011 17:38:54 -0000
The article about not having Health Insurance there was a lot i didn't know My wife just suffered A Massive Stroke back in 2/3/11 and because we didn't have ins. we we're turned away for help on her speech theraphy and we have filed for medicade and S.S.I. and well that takes time it took a long time to get mine and i have a Bullet on my spine another story there But! This is about My Wife We Need all the help we can get so yes I'm very Honored to Rate This Article a 100%+

Comment on When Dementia Makes Someone See Things That Aren't There

Alherimom — Thu, 05 May 2011 02:28:10 -0000
When my husband began seeing bugs in his room at night, I sprayed, stomped, swept, etc and then scheduled a complete eye check-up. - no problems that would cause the bugs. We dropped a new medication and he didn't complain anymore. Recently he told me he still sees the bugs but the dr and I have convinced him they're not there.

Comment on A New High-Tech Solution to Alzheimer's Wandering -- And a Warning

Shell Jersey Shore — Wed, 04 May 2011 16:05:06 -0000
What do you do when my mom wanders but refuses to wear anything attached to her neck, wrists or ankles? We have put motion alarms on the door knobs. Any suggestions from out there??? It would be appreciated

Comment on What To Do When a Family Disagreement Makes Caregiving Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

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Comment on Diabetes Drug Combo May Keep the Mind Healthy

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Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

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Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

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Comment on What To Do When a Family Disagreement Makes Caregiving Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

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Comment on Diabetes Drug Combo May Keep the Mind Healthy

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Comment on Don't Have Health Insurance? Here's How to Get Health Care Anyway

ash4456 — Wed, 04 May 2011 04:19:48 -0000
Good suggestions but they don't work well for a caregiver. I have not been to a doctor since my husband's stroke almost 3 years ago. Who will stay with him while I sit for an hour in the waiting room? (actually I did go one time. It cost me $32 for a nurse and I had to leave without seeing the doctor because the wait was so long.) If I get some time off I am sure not spending hours of my precious time in a doctor's waiting room. And I can't afford any treatment or procedure that will make me feel too unwell to change diapers, get food, lift and turn my husband -- so forget the colonoscopy, surgery major or minor, chemo if needed -- completely out of the question. So why bother going at all? Any suggestions for the caregivers? I just hope for the best.

Comment on Why You Should Worry When Your Parents Mention the Word Annuity

just me.... — Tue, 03 May 2011 17:20:17 -0000
What a ridiculously one-sided article. Annuities are absolutely appropriate for some seniors, and absolutely not for others. Your article shows extreme bias.

Comment on Don't Have Health Insurance? Here's How to Get Health Care Anyway

nicpheadair — Mon, 02 May 2011 08:21:39 -0000
can an employee bring in four dogs which run around and are on desk at an assisted living facility. This person also brings in a parrot but it is caged and in a back room.

Comment on When Mother's Day Means Grief, Not Joy

Dorothy's Daughter — Sun, 01 May 2011 20:35:27 -0000
My mom died of vascular dementia 12/21/10, I am not looking forward to "the" day. All the advertisements, etc, just reduce me to tears. Mother's Day is definitely a day of grieving for me now. While my mom was not an alcoholic, my dad was, he died in 1985 at the early age of 59. I can understand exactly what Melanie addresses, a realtionship with an alcoholic parent is very strained. My way of explaining it is I loved my dad, but I really hated the disease of alcoholism and how it made him behave. I think part of it was PTSD from being active duty WWII. ( they did not know about this back then) My dad had such a big heart and full of love, but when the alcohol took over, he was a stranger, a horrible stranger. Having a parent who suffered from alcoholism, leaves you feeling cheated. But, on the other hand, taking care of my mom and watching her decline with the dementia, and being with her as she died, and she is no longer here.....I remain feeling cheated. It is all so sad.

Comment on When Mother's Day Means Grief, Not Joy

marinparent — Sun, 01 May 2011 16:15:40 -0000
Very heartfelt and honest article. Thank you.

Comment on Caring for a Spouse? 5 Reasons Stressed Spousal Caregivers Miss Out on Help

Spockula — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 05:29:11 -0000
This article just confirmed a lot of what's happening in our lives. Good to know it's fairly 'normal'.

Comment on Caring for a Spouse? 5 Reasons Stressed Spousal Caregivers Miss Out on Help

Wellspouse — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 15:47:20 -0000
Incidentally, we have had discussions about problems with aides in the WSA Online Forum... Take a look also, at the Direct Care Association. There's a blog in the NY times about them here: http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/25/a-new-credential-for-home-health-aides/ They want to establish a program of credentialing courses for aides... The best thing you can do with a new aide is to ask whether they've taken such a course -- or if you're going through an agency ask what training is given to aides. They can be a pain in the *** but also, there are gems out there, among the bad ones. Good luck!

Comment on Caring for a Spouse? 5 Reasons Stressed Spousal Caregivers Miss Out on Help

Wellspouse — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 13:50:19 -0000
Thanks for the article, Paula. The Well Spouse Association, http://wellspouse.org is holding its 2011 Annual Conference in Atlanta, GA Oct. 21-23.

Comment on Caring for a Spouse? 5 Reasons Stressed Spousal Caregivers Miss Out on Help

rk_smith — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 13:21:37 -0000
I myself have had several caregivers coming into my home for the past 8 years now and have found that I can't trust any of them. They steal form you when you leave to do your errands. One can't say anything for fear of what they may do to you or your loved one and you can't prove it one way or another. I have had so many thing stolen from me over the years. So now, I trust no one at all. I feel so much more secure with out the help but I am still in desperate need for it. What does one do when they can't trust the caregiver.??

Comment on Caring for a Spouse? 5 Reasons Stressed Spousal Caregivers Miss Out on Help

Anonymous — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 16:58:43 -0000
I'm in this situation and this article outlines my situation. Other family members just expect that I will do everything and don't offer any help.

Comment on Don't "Misunderestimate" People With Dementia

Joy — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 19:29:40 -0000
My husband with sever Alzheimer's did the same thing on the day he checked out of the hospital and into skilled nursing. The physical therapist came in to assess him. He was not cooperating. She asked me what he loved to do. I told her tennis singles with the pro had been what he loved best. She said, bring me his tennis racket. The next day I arrived with the tennis racket and a can of balls. He was in his little room. The therapist came in, had him sit on the edge of his bed and she gave him the racket and a ball. "What would you do with that?" she asked. "Not a damm thing sitting on a bed!" he replied . After a good laugh, she got him up and faced him toward the closed door to his room and handled him the racket and ball. He just kept hitting it hard against the door while we ran around the room chasing balls. Had to finally stop because he was distrubing the other patients. He really surprised all of us!!

Comment on Sex and Alzheimer's: Love Stories, Sad Stories, and Lots of Questions

Emily M. — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 18:37:49 -0000
Hi anonymous, Thanks for your comment. I'm sorry to hear you've been having difficulty with your husband lately, that must be tough for you. If you are interested, you may find some useful information in our "Sex and Relationships" section, here: ( http://www.caring.com/sex ). You can also post a question in our Ask & Answer section, located here: ( http://www.caring.com/ask ). I hope that helps. Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on When Someone With Dementia Says, "I Want to Go Home"

Emily M. — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 18:19:55 -0000
Hi sandikat, Thanks for sharing your experience with the community! Sorry to hear you are having trouble finding things for your mother to do. There are many great activities for dementia and Alzheimer's patients. You can learn more about them in our topic center, here: ( http://www.caring.com/activities-for-alzheimers ). I hope that helps, take care. -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on Memory Trouble? Don't Assume It's Alzheimer's

Anonymous — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 16:57:03 -0000
Finally, a definition of Alzheimer's vs. Dementia (Alzheimer's is one type of Dementia).

Comment on When Someone With Dementia Says, "I Want to Go Home"

sandikat — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 14:50:41 -0000
For my Mom, she does know what she means when she says "I want to go home". I sat down and listened not long ago, and asked her which home do you mean, and she said "the house that I own" "the one you and I and my husband lived in". She does still own that house, but I will have to sell it shortly to pay for her care. I kept it as long as possible because I think that is the only thing that kept her going was the hope that she could return there, but I now know it can never happen. She can't afford full time help in home, or the cost of making the upgrades to make it safe and handi-capped assessable. I think in her mind that if she returns there, she will go back to who she was then, but that isn't the case. She blames every facility with her problems, yet she is there because of her problems, they aren't the problem. She just can't see it that way. I usually play games with her, but the dementia is progressing, and I'm not sure how long she can play them, so I'm wondering what I can do during a visit to make it happy when all she does it ask if she can come home with me, or when am I taking her home. I used to work puzzles with her, or ask if we could watch a movie, but she started refusing to do that. She has tried to escape many times, and that is why she is now in a memory care facility with locked gates. I would like to take her out on a walk or something, but I don't think that is a safe thing to do yet under the circumstances. The last facility she was at last (an assisted living facility), she escaped, and she fought the police when they tried to take her back through the door, so I can't put myself in that position. Any ideas of a positive activity on my visits for someone like that? I think part of her lack of interest in everything is depression (which is understandable)--I can see it in her eyes and long face, but she refuses to take any pills, or use her oxygen.... so there doesn't seem to be much I can do. This is the part I am really struggling to understand.

Comment on Fighting for Breath: A Mother's Last Weeks of Life

marinparent — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 03:10:56 -0000
My mom died in December after contracting pneumonia after breaking some ribs in a fall. After about 2 days in the hospital with the pneumonia, she had enough. The doctor was amazing--she told him she wanted to stop treatment and be given morphine for comfort and to stop the coughing, and he respected her wishes. She was so happy that we all understood. They gave her a few doses of morphine starting in the morning and by ten that night she was gone. And yes, she could have "survived" the pneumonia, but she was almost 90 and in her own words, she was " beyond enduring." She said she didn't want us to have to watch her suffer and go through rehab for the next several months....so she considered it a gift, and we gave her back the gift of understanding and not begging her to stay. The doctor made all this possible, and I am forever grateful to him, as well as to my sweet mother for making such a brave choice.

Comment on Sex and Alzheimer's: Love Stories, Sad Stories, and Lots of Questions

Anonymous — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 00:28:28 -0000
I have lost all desire for sex in the last year. Caregiving is so stressfull and draining somedays and my husband's approach is so differrent than it was before the disease. I feel guilty at times for not feeling the same desire that he apparently does. If I don't respond to him he accuses me of seeing someone else and saving it all for the other man and not loving him. That is so untrue. He was my first love/lover I can't even imagine being with anyone else. Do I just need to give myself to him and not think of myself?

Comment on Hospice: Comfort for Patient and Caregivers Alike

CA-Claire — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 22:10:05 -0000
Very well said. Thank you for bringing up that Hospice is more than just turning on a morphine drip and giving up. The Hospice staff help with just about everything!

Comment on Fighting for Breath: A Mother's Last Weeks of Life

CA-Claire — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 22:07:27 -0000
So Sorry to hear about the Dr. not wishing to give comfort care. This is where Hospice is a godsend. Without even asking, the NP prescribed the things we would need as Dad progressed. My Dad is stronger than Hospice knew - he will probably graduate from Hospice, as he is doing very well now, after 3 months.

Comment on College-Linked Retirement Communities Connect Generations

Emily M. — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 16:51:36 -0000
Hi there, thanks for your comment. If you'd like to search for a retirement in your community, we have a wonderful local directory section, here: (http://www.caring.com/local/retirement-communities). I hope you find what you are looking for. Good luck, and take care. -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on College-Linked Retirement Communities Connect Generations

your highnes — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 15:02:59 -0000
WE ARE LOOKING FOR AN ' INTELECTUA L' RETIRMENT COMUNITY. But we don't enjoy the cold weather The ones you have here are akk in the North of USA. What about retirement commiunities with interesting" people" but south or mid USA??. Marco T E

Comment on Fighting for Breath: A Mother's Last Weeks of Life

oopsadaisy — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 02:03:12 -0000
Being an advocate for my Mom & Dad is the hardest thing I have ever done. The struggle I have had with there Doctor has been stressful. We have a shortage of Doctors in our area so it is really tough to find a great Doctor. I finally get my referrals but it takes a lot of research & stress to get what I need for them. My parents Doctor is definitely not empathetic nor a Geriatric Doctor. She hates to be questioned & my Mom is old school also. Thanks so much for the article. I have medical background but no degree. This article makes me realize even with degrees you still can have problems with a Doctor. One thing for sure, is my intuition has always been right. I need to follow that more often. Thanks again.

Comment on Fighting for Breath: A Mother's Last Weeks of Life

Anonymous — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 22:36:43 -0000
Very important article--relatives need to find out ahead of time what the doctor's policy is, and make it very clear what they want. There is no reason a dying person should be made to feel any more uncomfortable than they already are. That is just cruel. The author did the right thing.

Comment on Caring for an Alcoholic Parent: A Special Challenge

Emily M. — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 22:26:00 -0000
Hi Deelu, Thank you very much for sharing with the community. I'm very sorry to hear about your situation, that must be extremely difficult. You may find this article on caregiver anger useful: (http://www.caring.com/blogs/self-caring/what-getting-mad-at-your-loved-one-says-about-you). You may also find this article particularly useful: (http://www.caring.com/articles/caregiving-and-anger). I hope those resources help. Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on Caring for an Alcoholic Parent: A Special Challenge

Deelu — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 00:07:32 -0000
My dad has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember, but now he's older, has diabetes and is malnourished it's so much worse. I moved out from my parents house last year as I just couldn't cope with him. My mum is amazing and tries to look after him, but it's really hard for her as she works full time too. My brother lives at home, but he drinks and smokes and I'm afraid he'll end up the same as my dad if he doesn't cop himself on. I'm just visiting them tonight, and I havent seen them for a couple of weeks. My dad is so thin and can hardly stand, we have to walk behind him up the stairs in case he falls. The last time I was here he went to wee in the garden. I love my dad but I am so resentful of how much our lives have been dictated by his condition and how he feels. I feel guilty if I get angry, and feel the most awe-consuming sadness when I'm with him or I think about him. I wish I was numb. He's a good man, but it's like he can't deal with life so he numbs it. I'm so angry that we don't get the same choice. My mum is the strongest woman I know, but I also have moments of resenting her for staying with him, then I feel guilty for that. I realise this sounds self-absorbed, but I just feel angry all the time or sad all the time and I don't now what to do with it.

Comment on 12 Signs of an Over-Involved Caregiver

Carol72156 — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 07:28:13 -0000
Just knowing that there "is" such a thing as doing too much. That's why I feel like I'm losing it. When I'm not doing something for my folks, I'm worrying about one or the other or both.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:54:44 -0000
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Comment on World Alzheimer's Day and Why People With Alzheimer's Need It

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:48:42 -0000
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Comment on World Alzheimer's Day and Why People With Alzheimer's Need It

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:47:13 -0000
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Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:47:10 -0000
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Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:47:06 -0000
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Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:46:18 -0000
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Comment on How to Get Real, Practical Help From Your Doctor When You Need It

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:44:31 -0000
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Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:44:09 -0000
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kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:43:46 -0000
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Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:43:42 -0000
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Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:43:39 -0000
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Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:43:35 -0000
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Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:43:31 -0000
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Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:43:27 -0000
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Comment on How to Get Real, Practical Help From Your Doctor When You Need It

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Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

nbna — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:48:35 -0000
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Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

nbna — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:47:21 -0000
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Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

nbna — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:45:42 -0000
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Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

nbna — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:44:43 -0000
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Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

nbna — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:44:01 -0000
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Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

nbna — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:43:16 -0000
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Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

nbna — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:43:03 -0000
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Comment on Struggling With the Risks of Change When You Care for Someone With Dementia

Emily M. — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 17:29:08 -0000
Hi din, Thanks for your comment. Sorry to hear about the difficulty you've been having with you husband. Incontinence is tough for the person affected and the caregiver alike. You can learn more about incontinence and how to deal with it in our incontinence topic center here: ( http://www.caring.com/incontinence ). If you still have questions, I encourage you to post your questions in our Ask & Answer section here: ( http://www.caring.com/ask ). I hope that helps get you started. Take care of yourself -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on Diabetes Drug Combo May Keep the Mind Healthy

yougui — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 02:39:41 -0000
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Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

yougui — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 02:39:40 -0000
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Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

yougui — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 02:37:47 -0000
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Comment on Struggling With the Risks of Change When You Care for Someone With Dementia

din — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 23:39:35 -0000
Husband having difficulty with bathroom. He says he has to go but when he gets there, he says he doesn't have to go but has already peed in his pants. I tried several times to get him into Depends but he says "I'm not wearing those things" & throws them down. (He did wear them once or twice but they became so wet, I think they bothered him.) What do I do next?

Comment on Look Online for Hundreds of Ways to Save Money

Anonymous — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 17:22:23 -0000
What about the PUBLIC LIBRARY?? That's even cheaper than a used bookstore or movie rental--it's free!!

Comment on Another Alzheimer's Gene Identified

hanelith g. — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 05:29:53 -0000
Alzheimer's disease currently devastates the lives of over 5.4 million people. Genetics have played a major role in the research into Alzheimer's thus far. In fact, Time magazine reports that genetics has opened a brand new pathway of breakthrough in the Alzheimer's war. Five genes - MS4A, CD2AP, CD33, EPHA1 and ABCA7 - have been identified as markers of increased risk of contracting late-onset Alzheimer's. Here is the proof:Major genetic breakthrough in war against Alzheimer's disease http://www.newsytype.com/5306-alzheimers-genes-discovered

Comment on After a Stroke: What to Expect When Life Turns Upside Down

Anonymous — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 16:48:28 -0000
Interesting info on vitamin b3 and Niacin. I had not seen that before. It would have been more helpful if there was confirmation from a trusted organization like the Mayo clinic or a stroke association, that Niacin would help. Just referring to a study on rats and a recommendation by your personal doctor does not convince me that I should run out and buy this.

Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

wilder — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 15:14:59 -0000
To learn of the link between diabetes 2 and alz

Comment on After a Stroke: What to Expect When Life Turns Upside Down

oc1dean — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 14:13:42 -0000
There are many more studies showing substances that might be helpful during the acute phase but they have not gone thru any trials yet. Here is a list; nicotine; marijuana; magnesium; viagara; nitric oxide; anti-depressants tgf alpha; lobster shells; tumeric; niacin; caffeinol; xenon gas; drug that activated the sigma-1 receptor; Docosahexaenoic acid (DHA), a component of fish oil Don't self-medicate, these are just hinted at in studies and some are still just tested in rats.

Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

poco tinto — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 11:40:07 -0000
sleeping on side

Comment on When Someone With Dementia Says, "I Want to Go Home"

holly1 — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 21:18:32 -0000
I had learned some of the right things to say, but when they don't work any longer resorted back to saying "you are home"! This reminder of an emotional need really drove it home to me, I'm sure to do better now.

Comment on Forgetting Faces: What It's Like to No Longer Be Recognized by Your Dad

etd — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 14:04:37 -0000
I am one of 7 children and I would hear my father ask my mom, "What's her name again?"---Yes, it's heartbreaking. I always identify myself when I see my dad. It doesn't help that he has macular degeneration and can barely see so it makes it doubly difficult. He also no longer asks about my husband or our children. It's not his fault. It's that horrible disease. He sometimes asks me, "What's your name?" and I tell him in a matter-of-fact way. He also does that with my sisters and my brother. He may call me by one of my sisters' names. It doesn't bother me too much anymore. I always tell him, "Dad, even if you don't remember my name, you know I belong. We are family." My brother, sisters and I care for our dad around the clock so it's always the same 7 people. He may not remember that we are his children, be he knows that we belong and we love him and we will take care of him always. I hate this disease, but I love my dad.

Comment on When Someone With Dementia Says, "I Want to Go Home"

holly1 — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 21:59:03 -0000
My husband 'going home' involves, taking apart, rummaging, packing, wanting to load the truck to go, wanting the car keys, stacking things along the garage wall to leave. It is very busy work and it never stops. I am hoping to use your advice to turn things around. It is most distressing, as I fear if he loads up there will be a battle to get the keys. his wandering inclination is there.

Comment on Talking to Someone With Dementia: Is It Okay to Fib?

The Caregiver's Voice — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 19:00:17 -0000
This is EXCELLENT Advice to comfort caregivers and loved ones who feel unsure of their place in the world and seek to connect. The term II've heard is "therapeutic lying" and this is the way it was explained to me when I first learned to do it. "Brenda, your dad would not be asking about his wife repeatedly, if he remembered she had died several years earlier. Instead of telling him the truth and shaking his world by making him grieve each time, simply tell him she will be home soon...that she went shopping." "And if you find it too difficult to lie, then redirect the conversation with something like, 'Dad, you you remember when Mom would prepare a picnic and we'd go out to the park?'"

Comment on The 5 REAL Reasons You're Stressed –- and How to Tame Them Now

Anonymous — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 16:24:42 -0000
My daughter and two small children moved in with us for what we thought was going to be a short period. Well, almost 8 months later, she and the toddler are talking about what to plant in our garden this summer. She is looking for new housing but is very picky. My husband had a stroke 7 years ago and this is very stressful for both of us. We liked our empty nest and our daughter is very critical of us. This offers some tips for a discussion and ways to diffuse problems before they arise. It also helps me see ways that I'm sabotizing myself.

Comment on The 5 REAL Reasons You're Stressed –- and How to Tame Them Now

The Caregiver's Voice — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 16:24:21 -0000
Great TIPs and subtips. Thank you Paula. These are great reminders for us in all facets of our lives. In our goal-oriented society, we are all guilty of having expectations...finally, during the last two years, I realized how harmful expectations can be...and I WAS THE ONE SETTING THEM! So, I began facing that they're flexible guidelines and not rigid. Are you like me? Nearly everything you decide to do takes 3x as long as you expect. Well, that's just it...we need to view our expectations differently. Until then, I'm going to respect myself (#4) enough to get some work done so I feel better about what I was able to accomplish this morning--heck, it's already after Noon on the east coast!

Comment on When Celebrities Face Alzheimer's: Advice for Caregivers From 6 Who've Been There

Ric's wife — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 17:15:50 -0000
My neighbor, a wonderful retired judge is currently in the mid stage of his Alzheimer's journey. And although it has been a challenge, whenever I see him, I focus on the "NOW" of things. He will walk by with his nurse, and I'll smile. He remarks on how the weather is, tells me where he is going at that moment, whatever. He may admire our flower beds outside, ask about my hairstyle, and I simply enjoy still being able to talk with him, because I realize that one day, sadly...that may change. So for this moment, we enjoy the present .

Comment on The 5 REAL Reasons You're Stressed –- and How to Tame Them Now

Anonymous — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 22:18:03 -0000
I don't know about you, but sometimes I find myself battling both my only son husband and mother in law. Living together in the same house has brought up some of his childhood behavior which my friends have noticed. He is nolonger the happy go lucky person he can be when his mother is not around. He grew up with an alcoholic father, now deceased, so her solution to shelter my husband was to send him to his room. He didn't have anyone to talk to because people were not supposed to know about the excessive drinking, etc. My stressor is trying to do the near impossible, boost up his self esteem enough to have him let go of those old traits. There are times that I feel alone without my husband's support in what I do for the both of them. Both my parents are dead, and here I am trying to please this woman who is unappreciative. This is my biggest self imposed stressor. It helps to put it out there, thanks for the venting. May we all see our light at the end of the tunnel.

Comment on The 5 REAL Reasons You're Stressed –- and How to Tame Them Now

Emily M. — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 17:35:48 -0000
Great story, KathyV! Sometimes, we put unneeded stress on ourselves, but it's fantastic when you realize, "hey, I can do something about this and just say no." Hopefully we can all take your story to heart. Thanks for sharing! -- Emily

Comment on The 5 REAL Reasons You're Stressed –- and How to Tame Them Now

KathyV — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 14:43:22 -0000
About putting yourself first - can I tell a little anecdote? This week, 81 year old Mom was being released from an overnight hospital stay. I had spent most of my week w/ her already. There's a one-hour window during the day when I need to pick my children up from school. Otherwise, I am available at a moment's notice for my frail parents. At 2:45, my father called to say my mother needs to be picked up NOW, but he's going to the dentist. Which he did not wish to cancel. And for once, I simply said "No". I told him I can get there in 45 minutes, I cannot go this very moment. Lo and behold, when I got to the hospital, there was mom, sitting in the lobby, perfectly ok with waiting for me. I can't describe how good that "NO" felt, and I didn't feel guilty one little bit!

Comment on 12 Signs of an Over-Involved Caregiver

Verona — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 16:34:19 -0000
Realization that some of the things I have done (before Bob went to the rehab/nursing home) were too controlling. It gradually happened; Bob became so dependent on me that he is having major problems adjusting to only seeing me once a week. (with the price of gas and distance I cannot visit except on the weekend). It gradually happened that I just took over scheduling what/when we ate, when we went out in the car, etc. I did not think about taking a trip because it was too awkward (in my opinion) and never discussed.

Comment on Talking to Someone With Dementia: Is It Okay to Fib?

caregiving wife — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 15:26:31 -0000
Thank you everyone for affirming the positives in the little white lies. I do it often with my sweet hubby when the truth would be upsetting or confusing. When he started going to day care, I told him he was starting a new job, so he would feel the dignity of work to do, rather than the embarrassment of needing 'babysitting.' (And it IS his job - to go and stay safe and take that worry off my mind!) Now that we're starting to research assisted living facilities, I tell him we're looking so we're ready for MANY YEARS from now, even though I think it's maybe one or two years. Why torture someone when a F.I.B. (rellimetil - love it!) is kind and loving? There's no need to feel guilty when you're giving someone the gift of peace and happiness, or at least trying your best.

Comment on What To Do When a Family Disagreement Makes Caregiving Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

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Comment on What To Do When a Family Disagreement Makes Caregiving Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

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Comment on Talking to Someone With Dementia: Is It Okay to Fib?

MBO — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 13:24:50 -0000
Very good advice. Thank you!

Comment on The 5 REAL Reasons You're Stressed –- and How to Tame Them Now

Mama Llama — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 08:28:06 -0000
I thought I was alone.....seems there must be an awful lot of people out there troubled by what a person can go thru as a 24/7 caregiver. I need to read more on this website - I think it will be helpful to get me out of this rut.

Comment on A Surprising Gift Older Adults Often Need: Good Shoes (and How to Pick the Right Pair)

krrish — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 15:55:36 -0000
Hi, Your article is very informative. It helped me to pick-up suitable shoe as gift. Thank You So Much. Regards, Krish

Comment on How to Get Real, Practical Help From Your Doctor When You Need It

devinskitcat@aol.com — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 04:54:10 -0000
Hi, I know how you feel I take meds and medicare does not pay for them so i have to choose from my one day meal or meds and I am so hurgey I bug crackers and milk because I get from ss only 407.00 amonth and most of the time in the winter it gets very cold in my house but stay under blankets to keep warm ! I am only sixty years old and I need my bloodpress meds and i have so much pain in my fingers and back but live with it! I get up in the morning and turn on HOT water and put my fingers over it to beable to move them because my doctor stopped giving me my meds for artherta !

Comment on How to Get Real, Practical Help From Your Doctor When You Need It

Anonymous — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 04:44:39 -0000
Dear I know how you feel I am having so much pain and the doctors will tell me I should she this doctor or they feel i should get diffent meds which cost so muc or my medicare will not pay ! I only get 400.00 a month for ss and it is so hard to live! I go with out my meals ! I each onces a day and thank the lord for milk and crackers ! God Bless you dear !

Comment on When Celebrities Face Alzheimer's: Advice for Caregivers From 6 Who've Been There

CareGiverGuy — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 19:51:03 -0000
I'm CareGiverGuy! My 89-year old mom who had dementia died on January 29th. I've been taking care of her since 2002 and I was determined to keep her in own home...it was very difficult as her sole Family Caregiver but with the help of my extended family of caregivers, Care.com, Kaiser Oakland Support Group & Caring.com I was able to give my mom the dignity to live & die in her own home....one day short of her 90th Birthday. As a Family CareGiver, you develop certain tools to calm your love one especially at night...sundowner. I played music; Sinatra, Perry Como, Matt Monroe, Doris Day, Barbara Streisand...music that rekindled her memories, songs that made her smile and also calmed her down. As CareGiverGuy DJ: I'm taking song REQUEST & DEDICATION for caregivers & their love ones, what's is your love one's favorite song? CareGiverGuy http://twitter.com/#!/CaregiverGuy

Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

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Comment on 10 Signs Your Parent Is Struggling Financially

Gramjen — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 23:09:26 -0000
Thanks for identifying some of the indicators that parents may be struggling financially. I had never considered canceling eating out as a sign of distress, but it really makes sense. There are so many things to keep track of when taking care of senior adult home health care services for loved ones. Even if they are fairly independent, it is important to pay attention to these indicators.

Comment on Alzheimer's Phone Problems: Little Object, Big Headaches

Emily M. — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 22:01:14 -0000
Hi vonny, that's a tough question! That kind of behavior can be quite difficult to handle. If you like, you can ask your question in our Ask & Answer section located here: (http://www.caring.com/ask).

Comment on Alzheimer's Phone Problems: Little Object, Big Headaches

vonny — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 21:44:47 -0000
How do you stop your mother from calling over and over again. She starts sometimes at 7 or 8am in the morning,it can go on till at least sometimes 8 or 8:30 at night if no one stays in the room and talk to her. And sometimes she will slip out and go to the phone in the kitchen and call. She called my brother at 5:30am in the morning.She calls my house, my borther house, my cousin house everyday. Sometimes she calls our phone like 20 to 30 times a day..and we are at the point of not knowing what to do. She does not remember that she is calling over and over again. You feel bad telling her to stay away from the phone..but we are at our ends and dont know what to do to keep from hurting her feeling. Help!!

Comment on Is It Ever Okay to Laugh About Alzheimer's?

sissa720 — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 00:12:39 -0000
My family has always had a 'strange' sense of humor also. Just today my brother was trying to get my mom situated in the van and she started reading a car sticker- NOW WITH EASY STOW AND GO. BOTH MY BROTHER AND i WERE LAUGHING

Comment on Is TDM-1 a Miracle Drug for Advanced Breast Cancer?

T-DM1 from Cleveland — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 15:40:23 -0000
I too have HER2+ beast cancer that met. to my liver, for 4 years. I went through all of the treatments, carbo, taxotere,taxol, herceptin and others that I can not remember. Cyber knife surgery with radiation, liver surgeries, I have been through everything. I am now taking the T-DM1 drug, I have to travel to get it. The stress this puts on a stage 4 patient and their families, to me is very un-necessary. If you qualify, you should be able to get the drug through your doctor, at home, where you are comfortable, your doctor can follow guidelines and report any issues. It really saddeneds me to have to put my family through this in the first place, now this added stress. I wish drug companies would really reconsider how trials are run. Without us, they would not have any trials. This drug has been in trails for 13yrs. I saw the news reel with Phil and Lorraine from Boston, she is 100% correct. It is very stressful. I am very happy that she has grandchildren and is here to enjoy and love them. We are waiting to meet our first grandchild in June 2011. Hopefully with T-DM1, I will meet mine.

Comment on What To Do When a Family Disagreement Makes Caregiving Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

MAURAUDER — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 17:49:02 -0000
Hugs, thoughts and prayers to all Caregivers everywhere. This is a great website for those of us who can't carry on the life we used to have because we have become caregivers, not only of the aged, but also of disabled adults and children. I like to think of our jobs, although we may sometimes feel it's like being in hell, could instead be outrstairway to Heaven! vjo

Comment on What To Do When a Family Disagreement Makes Caregiving Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

MAURAUDER — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 17:39:35 -0000
This was helpful for normal situations. However, when you have a situation that is so volatile, it is impossible to get the parties together. I experienced the latter situation and it was horrendous. My mother was a hoarder and my brother(1) who was also a hoarder and included another brother(2) who was a hoarder from another state than where we three lived would continue their hoarding by bringing "things" into my mother's home after my family cleaned out the entire main floor of the house because the town was going to have it condemned as unfit for human habitation because of all the hoarding. Both brothers caused tremendus stress for me, but I tried to focus on Mother as this article suggests. They did everything to put me down, but I tried to keep my focus on the caregiving. It was so bad that eventually I had to get a caregiver to get a break and they both scourged me and the caregiver and made derogatory ethnic slurs in order to make the new caregiver leave. They did not succeed. Torment her was their motto, but they did not succeed. It is important as this article stipulates to keep our focus when dealing with siblings in these situations. Thanks for the article...My mother has passed, my brother (1) no longer speaks to me and is suffering from results of hight blood pressure, heart attack, etc. and brother(2) is deceased...he pased 6 months before Mother did. I now have peace in my life knowing I took care of Mother without being deterred in my efforts by such destructive brothers. VJO

Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

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Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

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Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

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Comment on How to Get Real, Practical Help From Your Doctor When You Need It

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Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

voguee — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:59:34 -0000
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Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

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Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

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Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

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Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

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Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

Mr. B. — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 14:18:50 -0000
I have this problem, often waking at night, gasping for breath, coughing almost unable to catch my breath. This is a warning sign. Consult with your doctor. Pay attention. You heard of SIDS, well this is SADS. And your loved ones will truly be SAD if you don't attend to it NOW!

Comment on How to Hang Out With Someone Who Has Alzheimer's

oldfarmerf@aim.com — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 01:14:47 -0000
What a lovely article!

Comment on Better Sleep for Dementia Caregivers: Two Fresh Solutions

caregiving wife — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 16:13:48 -0000
My dear hubby (with Alz) wakes in the wee hours, worrying about something (real or imaginary.) In his worry, he fidgets: legs and arms going like a windmill, flapping the sheets and blankets up and down, big heavy sighs, tossing and turning. There's no sleep once this starts, and it's becoming more common. Reassurances, soothing face strokes, snuggling on him for physical contact (and sneaky restraint!), scoldings (yes, I know - bad wife!), his sleeping pills... nothing works. I have to set him up in the family room in his big recliner with his pillow and blankets in order to get any sleep for myself. This works for an hour or two, and then he invariably wanders back to bed and we start all over again. A friend suggested turning on a favorite movie while he's in his recliner as a distraction from the worries. I'll try it next time. Pray it works!! This is hard enough when I'm well-rested; it's really challenging on 3 hours of sleep! Between his needs and a full-time job, I need to resolve this soon.

Comment on How to Hang Out With Someone Who Has Alzheimer's

The Caregiver's Voice — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 22:00:47 -0000
What great tips! If you have any question about how this would feel, imagine you were grandpa or grandma...or mom or dad. All that love directed toward you, plus sweets, and kids calling you by name and hugging you. It makes the suffering less. I agree, keep the visits shorts as the excitement can get grating on your loved one. I know when I visit my friend with dementia, she sometimes wheels herself out of the room and when I follow and ask why she's leaving, she manages to tell me the noise is too much.

Comment on When a Call to Hospice Is a Gift to the Caregiver

DorisJ — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 20:41:40 -0000
to Anonymous: thank you for your sense of humor! I can sure use it now, as I am, one of those 24/7 spousal caregivers. My husband of almost 57 years has COPD and it is in last stage now. The doctors have said that, but 2 years ago! It is a very slow, excruciating disease because, as American Lung Assoc. says "If you can't breathe, nothing else matters!" I have been inquiring into Hospice and have encouraging reports, but my husband is a fighter. He will not ever want to agree to it, until he is nearly gone. I hope this doesn't sound like I am trying to rush things (no one can anyway). I love him dearly and have a dread of what is ahead. But I don't want him to suffer more, and Hospice might be able to help.

Comment on Why You Should Worry When Your Parents Mention the Word Annuity

Anonymous — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 22:31:18 -0000
No consumer should ever have to sue a company to protect or to recover rights that have been stolen fraudulently, adding insult to injury. The purpose of having government and enforcement is to protect those rights, not to run interference for the would be thieves, or to enable them to rip off consumers by using state inaction when it should be present as a part of its oversight of companies registered under it. who operate only by consent of the state.

Comment on When Dementia Makes Someone See Things That Aren't There

ycer — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 22:12:41 -0000
One night my husband got up in the middle of the night to brush insects off the bed. Then he wondered why I had allowed the millions of insects crawling on the floor and furniture. He proceeded to clean the dresser top with bug spray and toilet tissue. When I took away the bug spray he went for the starch spray can, then for a bag of Miracle Grow granules. He proceeded to sweep the floors and mop with a dry mop. All this was going on around 3:00 am. He said he was leaving and packed a small bag containing a hanky, socks, the TV remote and one of the dog's toys. Finally got him to go back to bed. I stayed up the rest of the night making sure he wasn't going to try to leave.

Comment on Is It Ever Okay to Laugh About Alzheimer's?

The Caregiver's Voice — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 16:42:57 -0000
In 2002 the first volume of caregivers' JOYFUL stories caring for loved ones was released. The title of the second volume says it all: Finding the JOY in Alzheimer's - When Tears are Dried with Laughter. We are collecting stories now for Finding the JOY in Caregiving at http://www.thecaregiversvoice.com/community/submit-joyful-caregiving-story/

Comment on Reconciling With Siblings After a Fight Over Caregiving for a Parent

Anonymous — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 12:40:36 -0000
Hello, I am new to the site and actually didn't think anyone would be listening. Special thanks to Kittymom and Emily. To follow-up, I tried "the talk" approach many years ago before mom's dementia set in. She is/ was fully aware of my brother's scamming. This was one reason why she made me joint on her bank accounts. Said she didn't trust him. All is fine, except he has badgered the banks, that now this one instituation has frozen her CD account. Until either conservatorship or death notice has been established. I have consulted lawyers, of course for a fee, they would handle the case, but no guarantees. My brother goes around and tells mom's doctors, tax preparers, caregivers, not to talk with me. I send them my DPOA papers and only then they acknowledge my concerns. Except the caregivers. Since he lives with mom free/clear, he benefits from housekeeping, laundry food and meals that they provide for mom, he says he "established residence". Now 62 years old, not employed. Blames mom for the job loss. This is mom's home, not his. May I add there is no contract with the caregivers. One is my brother's oldest daughter 42 years old, the other was found by answering an ad my brother placed in the classified. Both are paid under the table. I know my rights as DPOA and as daughter. My "head in the sand" sister says my brother and mom have always had an odd relationship, The golden boy who could do no wrong. to just accept it. Too late to change A family mediator says my brother is a "Parasitic child" Mom will be 90 this year. Along with her dementia, also has incontinence and circulation problems in her legs. She barely recovered from one broken hip when she fell and broke the other. My brother hides behind mom. Knowing lawyers and court cases, to start a law suit now seems pointless. My brother wants to have a PPO against me. However, he cannot pursue this to represent mom without guardianship. He cannot do 3rd party PPO. If he wants it against him, I have no problem with that. However, my last visit with mom resulted with him calling the police, said I didn't call first. Mom was so upset, agitated, and of course, it was my fault. Have tried to extend visting courtesy only for him to remove mom from the house. My lawyer and the Police both say I shouldn't not have to call first, and the Police informed my brother of that. Do you call a nursing/ assisted living facility before visiting? Being the daughter and DPOA, the Police where bewildered. We had a nice talk and I am fearful for mom, I asked for a police escort my next vist, which they will provide. Why should I have to do that? There are so many things wrong with this arrangement. Yes, this does leave a bitter taste. Thank you for letting me vent. I appreciate your comments.

Comment on Reconciling With Siblings After a Fight Over Caregiving for a Parent

Caring Community — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 21:30:04 -0000
Hi anonymous and kittymom, Thank you for sharing your comments with us. Unfortunately, elders being financially abused is an all too common occurrence and I'm very sorry to hear about your first hand experience with it. Our expert Carolyn L. Rosenblatt has answered a questions similar to your own: (http://www.caring.com/questions/brother-taking-advantage-of-mother). If you would like to post your own question in Ask & Answer, you can do so here: (http://www.caring.com/questions/new). I hope that helps! -- Emily

Comment on Reconciling With Siblings After a Fight Over Caregiving for a Parent

kittymom — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 19:52:38 -0000
Wow, does the last message from "Anonymous" sound familiar. Sure we aren't related and that's my brother you are speaking of? It is so frustrating, isn't it? With my brother, nothing is ever good enough that you do - he always has either 'thought of it', 'done it already', 'is always right', you name it. If it isn't emotional enough to worry and want to care for a parent, why do some siblings make it so hard and forget who is really the focal point? It upsets my mom so much to think of what my brother has said/done to me --- for someone who 'cares so much for mom', it sure leaves a bitter taste in my mouth that she has one more thing to worry about.

Comment on Reconciling With Siblings After a Fight Over Caregiving for a Parent

Anonymous — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 19:30:57 -0000
What do you do when it is the caregiver, son, who continues to "sponge" off the parent and feels he is "entitled" to do whatever he wants. He lives in mom's home, free and clear. He may be Durable Power of Attorney, but along with another sibling who also is DPOA. When family members try to help, their help isn't good enough. He continues to badger and jerk family around. No one wants to help anymore, yet he still complains. He has even called the police when I tried to visit. The bank and mom's brokerage account froze mom's account due to his badgering, even thou, these accounts are joint with mom and myself. I have had legal consultations, with recommendations of conservator/ guardianship. However, due to the hostility of the family, my lawyer says the court will no doubt provide a 3rd party and remove mom from her home. She has dementia and this is not what she wanted. So what does family do with an arrogant, selfish, person such as this? He has made it all about him, not what is in mom's best interst

Comment on 10 Ideas for Getting a Reluctant Person Checked for Alzheimer's

Emily M. — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 18:45:07 -0000
Hi Anonymous, Thanks for your great question. There have been recent studies that suggest a link between dementia and hearing loss. You can read more about these findings here: (http://www.caring.com/news/study-suggests-hearing-loss-dementia-link). If you still have questions about hearing loss and dementia, you can ask your question in our Ask & Answer section (http://www.caring.com/questions/new), or contact your medical professional for guidance. I wish you the best of luck -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on Reconciling With Siblings After a Fight Over Caregiving for a Parent

The Caregiver's Voice — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 18:35:44 -0000
WOW, Paula's article spans the variables of dealing with siblings. I have crossed all of these milestones; although not as well as I could have (in hindsight). I am especially comforted by her last two tips-- But don't make reconciliation your life's work. Finally, recognize that family takes many forms. Today, I have a large adopted family of cousins and friends--my family of choice. Although, over 14 years I've tried to reconnect with my sister and brother, it is up to them. I have tried and tried and tried. A person can take only so much rejection and being ignored.

Comment on Reconciling With Siblings After a Fight Over Caregiving for a Parent

oopsadaisy — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 15:22:39 -0000
Communication & talking about tough subjects. I kept quiet for years when taking care of my parents & suffered a great deal of stress. When my oldest sister decided to leave her job & get paid to take care of my parents I was overwhelmed with anger. The stress has done a toll on my mind & body but we have two parents to take care of & it really is a 2person job or more. I still feel very angry over the money issue because my Dad said to me what did you do??(he has vascular dementia) For 3 years I did all the medical for 2 parents & raise two young beautiful children!! It was havoc on my marriage because I was not making any money. I did become a martyr with my parents & I am the youngest of 4 girls so they do treat me differently then the oldest. My background is medical so I just took this on. I did not realize the impact of being an advocate for them has on you mentally. Most people cannot even comprehend what the job en-tales until you do it!!Now my sister who has retired is really feeling the stress that I endured. I still do all the medical. I did talk to them on how I felt but I am not sure they felt my parents needed all the help I did 3yrs ago. I saw things happening medically that needed to be addressed. The struggles with the doctor was a even greater stress. Through all this it has made me a stronger person. My resentment is still there but I had to let go & let god so to speak. I read alot of amazing books to help me through the anger. These sites have helped tremendously to know you are not alone!!Thanks for the tips. I wish I had read this 3yrs ago!!

Comment on 10 Ideas for Getting a Reluctant Person Checked for Alzheimer's

Anonymous — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 12:32:03 -0000
how much does hearing loss have to do with early dementia. My husband refuses to have a hearing test for fear of needing hearing aides and the financial burden it represents.

Comment on 10 Early Signs of Prostate Cancer That Often Go Unnoticed

Emily M. — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:35:28 -0000
Hi Williampaulwest, Thank you very much for your question. Unfortunately, we are unable to diagnose medical problems for our site members. We suggest that you contact your doctor right away regarding your medical issue. We hope our informational site will be of help for you in the future. -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on 10 Early Signs of Prostate Cancer That Often Go Unnoticed

Williampaulwest — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:21:36 -0000
RECENTLY I NOTICED MY SPERM HAD TURNED DARK AND THIN. IS THIS NORMAL?

Comment on Depression, Women, and Menopause -- a Hot Topic We Need to Talk About

The Caregiver's Voice — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 20:21:26 -0000
Add to this the risk of depression due to caregiving and there will be many caregivers who will need greater knowledge and tender loving support to get through this period.

Comment on Depression, Women, and Menopause -- a Hot Topic We Need to Talk About

tater — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 18:00:44 -0000
Please add to the list of issues that cause depression during menopause THE issue that causes me to most angst, loss of sleep, and worsens my health. It is: being in the "sandwich generation, caring for elderly parents who have many crises. They are not appreciative of my help because it's never enough, no matter that I have made their care my priority and have given up so much of my life to see to their needs. I am becoming resentful, and now I don't like myself. There are no clear solutions, and sometimes there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Comment on Mindbenders: Memory-Boosting Brain Games

Emily M. — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 17:48:40 -0000
Hi leighbdc, Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us! We at Caring.com try hard to keep our content fresh and timeless and are always adding new content. While this blog is a few year old, we do have a more recent article about the passing of Jack LeLanne: (http://www.caring.com/blogs/self-caring/get-up-get-out-skip-the-chips-think-of-jack). Thanks again for your comment. Emily | Community Manager

Comment on Mindbenders: Memory-Boosting Brain Games

leighbdc — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 17:13:41 -0000
I was very disappointed to see such an obviously old article: "exercise pioneer Jack LaLanne, 93, just signed on as its "brain fitness motivational coach." Jack LaLanne died, at age 96, last month. Unfortunately, this makes me question timeliness, and therefore validity, of whatever I'm reading at caring.com.

Comment on Depression, Women, and Menopause -- a Hot Topic We Need to Talk About

DianaT — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 14:36:19 -0000
I am 58 years old and have experienced menopause and the depression that goes with it. What I found that REALLY helps, I can't emphasize how much it helps is to eat right, exercise, stay away from junk food, get sunshine and enough Vitamin D. I make sure I get 8 servings of fruits and vegetables, eat lean meats and 3 servings of dairy. I can't tell you what a difference it has made since I gave up sugar, alcohol and refined carbohydrates. I sleep better. I feel better. I have more energy. I feel like me instead of a zombie that wants to stay inside and feel grumpy all day. Eating right has cured my lifetime problem with constipation too and I am slowly loosing weight, about 2 pounds a month. If I am tempted with cookies, or crackers or bread and butter I remind myself that I will feel bad if I eat it and how much better I will feel if I have a fruit snack instead. I'm not perfect, but I eat healthy at least 80% of the time and it has made a TREMENDOUS difference because now I feel like exercising and I feel younger. Don't expect perfection, just work towards changing small things to live a healthier lifestyle.

Comment on How to Get Someone You Love to Quit Smoking (And Why It's Not Too Late)

Circus — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 15:44:07 -0000
Wow, I loved "Daughter Ann's" story about the benefits of stopping smoking -- I hope it will motivate others to stop harming themselves & their loved ones!

Comment on How to Get Someone You Love to Quit Smoking (And Why It's Not Too Late)

donoharm — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 15:21:01 -0000
This was positive. I'm not a bad person, I just have a very bad habit. Constant nagging doesn't work--smokers hear it from themselves. I'm going to try cutting down to eventually be free. This was a very good message.

Comment on Reconciling With Siblings After a Fight Over Caregiving for a Parent

kittymom — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 13:57:46 -0000
I noticed it has been over a year since I posted before - and nothing has changed - except for my trying to accept the position my brother has put me in and move forward with just going ahead and doing what is the right thing with my mom. Last June, when I called my brother from my mom's apartment and asked when we can get together to discuss her health issues and financial matters, he informed me 'never'. Caught off guard, I repeated, "Never?" He kept saying that and I asked 'Why - what did he mean", he comes up with this, "You've made my life miserable for years". What? The only thing I can take from this is that after 3 1/2 years, he has finally cemented it to where he doesn't feel he needs to share anything with me - he has all her mail sent to his house, goes to the bank with her and never asks me if I'd like to join them - he's two miles from her house. I continue to drive 100 miles roundtrip every week. I go to doctor appts., but he feels that none of my input is valuable and cuts me right off. My mom's dementia is getting very bad. She is Type II Diabetic and he didn't know WHAT that meant - I did manage to set up her diet with her assisted living home to where she is eating properly. Within the past 6 months, my mom has lost 12 lbs. that she didn't have to spare. 1 1/2 years ago, my brother decided that she was going to have 2 hard boiled eggs and a piece of toast every morning for breakfast. He will not let her pay the $4 to have them bring up breakfast - even though she can afford it. She does not eat breakfast, sometimes she thinks she does, I truly believe between the dementia and her telling me that she is sick of eating eggs every single morning, she has decided not to eat! I pick up other items, like breakfast bars, wheat toaster waffles, to give her a variety so she will eat ------ my brother gets mad and says that I am going to make her blood sugar go sky high. Gee, I look at it as if she doesn't eat, her blood sugar goes low and she can go into a diabetic coma, if she does eat something different, a breakfast bar is not going to take her over the edge. To eat or not to eat? Any suggestions I have a nixed and we talk over email - he will not talk to me. If he has anything to tell me, he tapes a note to my mom's microwave. It's just so sad. I took care of my mom before she even moved and now he acts like I'm only good enough to be her visitor - without being privy to anything else that goes on in her life. His behavior has brought on many sad events. We did always get along before this happened with my mom and I was very close to my 3 nieces. We could not have kids. He acts like the world is against him. Every holiday, my mom, brother, sister in law, nieces, their husbands and babies get together and we are not invited or welcome. My mom would like us to all be together and always tells me how it bothers her. She will not talk to my brother because of "how he is, he'll just not talk or get mad". I feel like when we do have my mom over for holidays, it's like a divorce situation that's like, "Who gets mom?" - and I appreciate the fact that she probably wants to see my nieces and their families. I never thought our family would turn out like this. My dad died 34 years ago when he was 50 and he would have just hated to have known this was going on. My brother would always say that he told my dad before he died that he'd always take care of my mom --- but he is so nasty to his sister! I told him one time that our dad would have never have wanted the situation to be like this. I think he is so into his own agenda and such a control freak that he really doesn't care about anything but tooting his own horn and waiting for the day when he can clean up every else of my mom's.

Comment on Reconciling With Siblings After a Fight Over Caregiving for a Parent

Anonymous — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 10:53:43 -0000
So many families have conflict that continues or begins in their adult lives, and children sometimes choose to not notice how much pain this causes the parents. Some times the best solution for the care giver is to allow the other siblings to walk away and have no communication with them. It's a sad time for the family, but peace and loving care is the most important gift one can give to a parent. I know, because I am in that situation with my children. I don't understand why it has happened, but I have come to accept it. I also have much more respect for the daughter who cares for me, and I try to be loving and cooperative with her and her family. She is such a sweet blessing to me, and I am truly very thankful to have her in my life.

Comment on Don't "Misunderestimate" People With Dementia

The Caregiver's Voice — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 16:07:38 -0000
When my father came to live with us, I (out of ignorance) focused on his ability (not inability). So it was when I took him shopping--his clothes were 40 years old and out of style and worn. We parked far away from the storefront because he was still in good physical shape. Then I asked him, "Wanna race?" "Yea," he said and took off. At 49 years his junior, I raced but never caught up. At age 86 he was GOOD!

Comment on Stress and the Music Cure

bigbaby09 — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 14:10:06 -0000
my peepee feels weird in the peanut butter :/ by devon vanalstyne

Comment on Stress and the Music Cure

bigbaby09 — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 14:08:50 -0000
dried jizz on my lips by jake mayhew

Comment on Stress and the Music Cure

bigbaby09 — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 14:08:02 -0000
generic ravilois by squirtal

Comment on Stress and the Music Cure

bigbaby09 — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 14:07:38 -0000
i put warm cheese on my hemroids by squirtle costanzo.

Comment on Stress and the Music Cure

bigbaby09 — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 14:06:55 -0000
fishsticks and weed by cole kadlec

Comment on Stress and the Music Cure

bigbaby09 — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 14:05:14 -0000
eh toast and the magic bottle of cheese, by ryan palermo

Comment on Stress and the Music Cure

bigbaby09 — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 14:04:44 -0000
i need some cornholio for my bungholio by sage poucher

Comment on Stress and the Music Cure

bigbaby09 — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 14:04:00 -0000
boom! hildo by demi foti,

Comment on Stress and the Music Cure

bigbaby09 — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 13:55:57 -0000
poop is good when your lifes down in the dumps! by cole kadlec

Comment on 12 Signs of an Over-Involved Caregiver

Anonymous — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 22:43:32 -0000
I own a senior care home and I see so much in the alz. Life. I have so much to offer those who are going through the stages with a loved one.

Comment on Paying for Cancer Care: What to Do When Insurance Says No

Emily M. — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 19:32:45 -0000
Hi 65522, Thank you for your question. Sorry to hear about your friend's father, that sounds like a really rough situation. One place you may be able to find an answer is in our Ask & Answer section: http://www.caring.com/ask Good luck, I'll keep your friend's father in my thoughts. -- Emily

Comment on Paying for Cancer Care: What to Do When Insurance Says No

65522 — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 17:50:19 -0000
My friend's dad has cancer and the insurance is refusing to pay, is it legal to just let him die. What should I do??? HELP!!!

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

Mady — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 17:24:46 -0000
There are states that already have state-run High Risk Pools. For example, Mississippi's HRP will accept you immediately after COBRA runs out, or if you lost your individual insurance for reasons other than nonl-payment of premiums.

Comment on Mindbenders: Memory-Boosting Brain Games

Kate W — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 09:38:45 -0000
Well over the net I have read nearly dozens of times about how mind games play an effective role in cognitive health. Thanks for sharing the contradictory info here. I too don't go by the studies and findings. Thing is researches differ and so it's very tough to base our belief on any 1 finding. Anyway here's an online aptitude test you may like to take a peep at - The Complete Aptitude Test The definitive test to tell you where your aptitude lies and what you are good at. http://www.3smartcubes.com/pages/tests/aptcomplete/aptcomplete_instructions.asp

Comment on Don't "Misunderestimate" People With Dementia

superstring — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 18:27:12 -0000
I'm just figuring this out! My husband has been diagnosed with mild dementia, but the drs have variously thought it was Parkinsons and/or vascular dementia. In retrospect he's been losing it steadily for at least 3 years and maybe more like 10 years, but I was in denial for a long time. However, he was VERY sick last summer with multiple infections and apparently some small strokes as well, and was delirious and was placed in a dementia facility. But he came home after 4 weeks, with private 24-hour caregivers, and has regained a lot of both physical and mental function. We are discovering that not everything is damaged "across the board", and he surprises us all the time with what he knows and what he can do. One example, which has many benefits: he's developed a passion for jigsaw puzzles! (He would never do these before.) In particular, he likes to work on a puzzle with ME, and it gives us a chance to talk and joke and just spend time together in a tension-free environment. Don't mistake me--he has trouble with storing short term memory, no longer takes an active role in our investments, reads only the Wall Street Journal, asks the same question over & over, still doesn't seem to have figured out that his caregivers sleep in the house, & so on. But I see a big difference in his mood when I treat him like an adult--the inclination is to treat him like a little kid who knows nothing, which he resents. He knows perfectly well that he isn't like he used to be and is frustrated and scared, and gets angry when he feels that people are making all his decisions for him. He just had an evaluation by a neuropsychologist and we await her report--I look forward to having a professional opinion on what is "gone" and what is still present.

Comment on Don't "Misunderestimate" People With Dementia

Phylly — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 14:48:57 -0000
My Mom & I always had a tug-of-war relationship and it seemed we were always frustrated with each other. I didn't realize when the dementia surfaced, as she always was difficult. She went to the Assisted Living and then Nursing Home. As always, she obsessed about trivial things, but I guess it was the only way she could express her self and feel she had some control. I wish I had polished her shoes more often, as that seemed to be important to her. Towards the end I just sat in her room while she slept, so at least she would know I was there. There was little humor in our home growing up. But I tried towards the end. Sometimes it was the only way we could smile at each other. Even though we had a rocky relationship, I really miss her and understand so much more now that she is gone. As advised, be patient and focus on what you have, not what you don't have.

Comment on Alzheimer's Care Dilemma: No End In Sight, But Plenty of Guilt Over Wishing It Were

Debra111 — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 22:57:20 -0000
All I can say is that this disease is very hard on everyone. It will wear you down. There are so many internal conflicts you don't know which way to turn. Being the primary caregiver is very hard work and emotionally draining.

Comment on A New High-Tech Solution to Alzheimer's Wandering -- And a Warning

rdtnp — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 22:10:48 -0000
My Father has Alzheimer’s and episodes of wandering. Recently I coordinated a independent test of a new tracking technology by EM Finders Frisco Texas, www.emfinders.com In the event of a loss of my father the device allows my mother to find my father using the 911 emergency systems in combination with local law enforcement personnel. I typed my MN zip code into the coverage indicator on the home page and determined the wristband worked in my city. I was skeptical and shared the product info with my local police chief. At first he was unaware of the product but after review with the Scott County 911 center he determined the product should work as marketed. The chief and I came to an agreement. If my family would buy the device, the police chief agreed to run a live test in the 911 system to determine performance. The test was run on Jan. 10, 2011. It’s not every day a person is able to run a test in the real life 911 system so I decided to invite a group of credible witnesses to watch the test. This group included law enforcement personnel from two counties and one city; the President of a multi-facility elder care company who is also a board member on the MN Board of Aging; a second executive from another assisted living center; a State Patrol Officer who was also a board member of the MN Police and Peace Officer Association; A autism activist who has testified at the state and national level on behalf of autism children; a county EMS director; an independent attorney; and a reporter and photographer from the Minneapolis Star and Tribune. The group witnessed two tests. The first test was an activation of the device purchased by my family by the primary care giver according to the directions provided. The second was a controlled law enforcement test where the local chief directed an officer to go and hide at a location of the officer’s choice with a wristband in his possession. In test one, within 10 minutes the 911 dispatcher confirmed the location of my family’s device within 100 yards of its location. In the 2nd test, the 911 dispatcher was able to confirm the lost officer’s location within 20 minutes and again within 100 yards. In both instances the device locations appeared in computer mapping software in the 911 center. The maps were printed and presented to myself and the chief and were available immediately as the devices were located on the 911 computer screen. The EMS director stated there are additional 911 technology tools that will increase the 100 yard accuracy. It was my first intention to run the test without EM Finders personnel present. However, at the request of some of the witnesses it was suggested an EM Finders representative be present. I met the representative for the first time at the airport and stated this was not a sales call and he was present to watch and answer questions. The sales representative was asked ever imaginable question by the group and everyone was impressed with how well thought out this product is. The biggest obstacle is informing consumers and law enforcement of its existence. It truly can save lives here in unpredictable Minnesota.

Comment on Do Good Daughters Park Their Parents With Dementia in Respite Care Overnight?

juloh — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 00:04:01 -0000
The guilt when I have to go do errands or go to church. Always in a rush to get back home. Miss talking the people and getting out without always checking to see how long I have been gone.

Comment on Decoding the Secret Language of Alzheimer's

din — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 22:23:22 -0000
Everyone is entitled to respect. There is no reason to "talk down" to a patient. I still regard my husband who has Alzheimer's as my beloved husband & talk to him normally even though sometimes he doesn't really process what I am saying. I ask his opinion & look at him when I am speaking. I've noticed that sometimes other people only look at me & talk when we are both there. I guess they think he doesn't understand them (& sometimes he doesn't) but it is nice to include him.

Comment on 2009: The Year of the Hug?

sadtosay — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 23:24:23 -0000
Mother responds very positively if I say 'i love you" when she gets into a rant. She will then usually let me give her a hug. It works.

Comment on Don't "Misunderestimate" People With Dementia

subbyfaith — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 23:24:12 -0000
I am thankful for this site ,that one can freely share and know only loving and caring responses return! Thank-You!

Comment on Alzheimer's Caregivers' #1 Challenge

blessed daughter — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 20:39:47 -0000
This article is right on. It defines the feelings I have and provides empathy for and understanding of them. I am blessed with a tight knit group of friends who never hesitate to take over even the smallest chores (like helping my mom find her chair, covering her in a blanket, etc). Those acts provide me with much needed respite, however minute it may be. So, the physical needs are met. The emotional needs are another story. No one can rescue me from those feelings. I hadn't considered counseling. Maybe I should.

Comment on Euthanasia for End-Stage Alzheimer's? How About Humanity Instead

dear one of Mort — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 19:02:17 -0000
Dear Jeciron, you write beutifully. Sandy's/Dear One of Mort

Comment on Euthanasia for End-Stage Alzheimer's? How About Humanity Instead

dear one of Mort — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 18:54:09 -0000
I understand the writers frustration with caring for helpless cases but her point of view leaves humanity out the door. What we need is focused caregiving that keeps the end result in mind but doesn't throw away the human being. I am a believer in comfor measures only for Alzheimer's sufferers. But if he breaks his hip, he won't be comfortable unless it's fixed. I have my husband at home and my goal is to keep him feeling loved and safe. I do not force him to eat and would not put in a feeding tube. But I will give him whatever he wants and will hand feed him if it's too much bother to him to feed himself. If he has a stroke, I will take him to the ER for TPA so that paralysis won't complicate caregiving for me. My stage three Alzheimer's husband listens to me even if he doesn't seem to. If I sing the wrong melody for the song's words, he smiles and shakes his head. Yesterday I was reading an article about rare earth elelments to him (he had been a chemist). He wanted to know where the sites of development were in North America and corrected my pronunciation of one of the elements. He is still there somewhere inside and we continue to love each other. Sandy's

Comment on Euthanasia for End-Stage Alzheimer's? How About Humanity Instead

Gina Kaurich — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 19:38:01 -0000
Compassionate, loving care at the end of life should be no different for a patient with dementia, Alzheimer's Disease or a hospice patient with cancer. After almost 40 years in nursing one of the most rewarding experiences is making an individual feel safe, comfortable and at ease during the end of life. Anything less than kindness in my mind is unacceptable. FirstLight HomeCare hires caregivers based on testing of these important character values.

Comment on Euthanasia for End-Stage Alzheimer's? How About Humanity Instead

Jeciron — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 13:45:55 -0000
It seems to me that as medicine progresses we are all going to have to make some difficult decisions. When Esther was diagnosed with Alzheimer's we made extensive use of a good psychologist and discussed in depth our philosophies about end of life issues. Years ago Esther had looked into, and I believe made decisions about end of life issues. ( I can see her copy of "Final Exit" on the shelf as I write and, although she no longer remembers them, I know where her stash of prescription medications she saved for an overdose is.) Sandy's post resonated with me. As Esther's ability to connect with and appreciate her existence fades, the degree and definition of palliative care changes. I'm pretty sure that with extreme measures Esther could exhibit some signs of life long after her brain can not control very basic bodily functions. Certainly, to put her in such a position would be a gross betrayal of all she expressed. On the other hand, we've gone beyond many of the markers she set for when she wanted to be institutionalized. Incontinence just isn't that big a deal, and while it's difficult to be sure if she recognizes her good friends in the sense a healthy person might, she clearly enjoys spending time with them, and even if it isn't "fun", I think those of us who spend time with her benefit in deep and subtle ways. I may have overstepped our agreement, but I can be a bit of a greedy bastard, and she isn't complaining. Alzheimer's is not about winning, we know our loved ones will not recover, but instead it is about living, and coming to terms with what that means. I often tell people who express condolences that this is not a bad time, but it is a very hard time. If Esther was to die suddenly from a stroke it would not be a tragedy, but what if she stops caring about eating, or develops pneumonia, or some other serious but potentially curable problem? I haven't had to deal with these questions, and while they are on the horizon, my main thrust is to look for the value of each day. It is unfortunate that the Baroness took that tone, but that does not invalidate the discussion. As it becomes possible to spend an infinite amount of resources to maintain a minuscule degree of "life" we are going to have to explore just what we desire and expect, and feel we are worth as we face our deaths. if we can not have this discussion as responsible individuals, then the government will and should step in. If we don't want society, embodied as government, making decisions about end of life care, do we think we can expect it to foot the costs of extreme measures to maintain life?

Comment on Do Good Daughters Park Their Parents With Dementia in Respite Care Overnight?

The Caregiver's Voice — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 16:17:32 -0000
I agree! A member of our support group was susceptible to bouts of depression as she cared for her mother and husband--both with forms of dementia. Over the weeks, we succeeded in persuading her to go on a vacation and have her husband stay in an assisted living community or board and care. The first time she took a vacation, she was wrought with guilt. Understandable. But she looked great when she returned. The second time, she didn't feel as guilty and returned looking and feeling great. Over the years, she had enough strength to keep her depression in check (with the help of medication) while lovingly caring for her mother and husband by taking needed respites. Despite losing both last year, she continues to be an inspiration. Try it! At least twice. Better to try it three times. Then let us know how it works for you!

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

The Caregiver's Voice — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 15:56:49 -0000
Yeah! Yeah! (sitting here squirming) because I NEED TO FOLLOW THIS ADVICE and for those of you who know me...I don't! Thank you for the reminder...again. SMILE

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

Dia J — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 15:19:10 -0000
Hi everybody, was reading about stress busters, thought to share mine to add up to many of yours list in a helpful way. I keep a list of things handy(some unfinished businesses) i try picking one of them.if does'nt work than, i do what i love to do the most,like for me painting is a passion.Playing with colours brings inner satisfaction,specially when done on a big wall.by now i have painted almost many of the walls in the whole house.In garden aswell.And sometimes even just looking at what i have painted ,proves to be a stress buster :)

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

Anonymous — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 15:15:18 -0000
Hi everybody, was reading about stress busters, thought to share mine to add up to many of yours list in a helpful way. I keep a list of things handy(some unfinished businesses) i try picking one of them.if does'nt work than, i do what i love to do the most,like for me painting is a passion.Playing with colours brings inner satisfaction,specially when done on a big wall.

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

Charlotte ALIG — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 15:09:05 -0000
For the lady who needs cumaden and can't get help with the financial side of it all. At least use vinegar to thin your blood a bit. Ii mean on salad or other foods, I use a bit on spinach, for example if I want to eat it, as dark green veggies are good for you EXCEPT if you have atherosclerosis, thick blood that can lead to strokes. Avoid those dark green veggies and anything with a high vitamin k content. You can find that out easily on the internet. Your blood INR should probably be stabilized at between 2.0 and 3.0 . That is important. I hope you can find help for the financial part quickly. Surely your Dr. can direct you somewhere to get help quickly...Best of luck.

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

Charlotte ALIG — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 15:01:09 -0000
I help my stresss by taking a nice , long. hot bubble bath...not high bubbles, just the stuff that makes the water real soft....I also take a book into the tub with me and read a book.. helps me a lot...I have heart disease, atherosclerosis and have a pacemaker now, but the bathing is still a help. should have started doing it regularly years ago..

Comment on Do Good Daughters Park Their Parents With Dementia in Respite Care Overnight?

schroeder — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 14:42:07 -0000
I have found that sending my wife to a sibling for a visit of a few days is very helpful. She is happy that she gets to reconnect with a family member. Because I remain in our living quarters, neither she nor her sibling feel that I'm the one on vacation even though I do consider the respite a vacation. It also has the added advantage of educating the sibling on just what the problems really are.

Comment on When Someone With Dementia Says, "I Want to Go Home"

Faith&Hope — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 14:00:13 -0000
Hello, Many thanks for these articles. I read them with great interest, and found them very helpful. I will now attempt to apply what I have learned from them. I am glad to have come across your web site: I shall keep reading your forums and articles, as I find them enlightening and helpful. Kind regards

Comment on Will You Act F.A.S.T. or Give Me 5 For Stroke?

Anonymous — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 13:39:21 -0000
The 5th symptom matters, so 'Give me 5 for Stroke' is preferable, but only if it's memorable. To make the 5 easier to remember, check that they can: WALK the walk & TALK the talk Get them to REACH out then ask them what they SEE and how they FEEL...

Comment on Do Good Daughters Park Their Parents With Dementia in Respite Care Overnight?

a Redneck Angel — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 17:02:30 -0000
I had to LOL when I got to "Key Points #2, Overnight Options"! In my area there is ONE assisted living facility that has ONE room for up to a month's respite care--to reserve it for any particular time you have to pay a month's rate up front. One Altzimers Center that offers 9AM-3PM respite care for a limited number of people (you have to "get-in" on a waiting list--if they are full for that day, you are o/o luck). The overnight is private pay only & unless you are on Medicare the day-care is about $30/day. And, that is it! I have been caring for my centenarian mother for four years now & at one time I believed that there really was in interest in helping keep your impared family at home, as home-care is cheaper for the government. It is all talk; there really is no workable alternative if you cannot afford, & then find, private in-home help (the cheapest; $16.50/hr.--on a per hour basis, a skilled nursing facility is cheaper!!). Next time my mother falls because she has tried to do/get something because she isn't supposed to & cannot get up, I plan to take her directly from the hospital to whatever assisted living I can find that has a bed.

Comment on Alzheimer's Caregivers' #1 Challenge

janol — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 15:32:30 -0000
You BET it does. I have just been through what I would call the grief period--- or pr-grief. It hurts! We used to travel in the eve, and now when I go out alone, it "hits" me that those evenings are gone. My hubby is a Parkinsons patient, with some dementia-- which is more confusion than forgetting.I am experiencing all the above. Jan

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

jan spiak — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 17:01:24 -0000
I would like to add prayer and meditation to the list. I have scripture videos I listen to and watch. their r beautiful scenes of mountains,cascading waterfalls and inspirational music. I use to be a caregiver and used meditation tapes for therapy with my client and it did wonders for her. we have to remember that every person is a triune being and the Inspirational CD and DVD's effect all three areas.

Comment on Watching Dad Dodder: How Much to Help (to Prevent a Fall) and How Much to Leave Him Alone?

Kenny P. — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 10:48:36 -0000
No matter how I secure the safety of my father, I’ve accepted the fact that I cannot completely prevent him from falling. In one way or another, it will really happen. So I just purchased him a personal emergency response system. With this, he can get an immediate help in case he’s feeling bad or an accident happens. I bought him the Just5 cell phone, which has PERS features, because of its affordability and I’m glad that it is very reliable as well. I believe it will be beneficial for other elderly to use this to increase their protection.

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

jacquee — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 21:34:08 -0000
Family members sharing responsibilities is very important, not only for my stress relief, but for their own well being. I am not very happy with my primary care physician, and now I might do something about that. I have numerous neurological problems, and am very happy with my neurologist. He understands and validates my illness. For years doctors would prescribe palliative meds because they thought my pain was "all in my head", and never investigated the cause. So all that time allowed my problems to worsen without proper treatment. I could go on and on about my anger at doctors, but let me just say that I am glad I found this site. I don't have Alzheimer's, but I do have MCI, and I have a problem with focusing on and completing tasks..

Comment on 10 Little-Known Signs of Lung Cancer (Would You Guess a Change in Mood?)

lung cancer — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 02:43:26 -0000
Early lung cancer may cause no symptoms patient's history, be sure to assess his exposure to carcinogens. If he's a smoker, determine pack years. http://www.mylungcancerguide.com/

Comment on 10 "Boredom Busters" for Frail Seniors

Chris Ballard — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 18:31:22 -0000
These are good ideas for those of us that are still at home, too. Sometimes the semi-solitude does get boring. I think it aids the restlessness!

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

Anonymous — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 20:02:45 -0000
I am all too aware of the ridiculously high prices of prescription medication. I have done it all to cut costs on my meds. I've ordered from Canadian pharmacies, split pills, taken generics, begged my doctor for samples..you name it, I've done it. The new thing that I have resorted to is coupons. Thats right, they've got coupons for groceries, restaurants, household products well I have found a website that has coupons for meds. www.medicationcoupons has many coupons for all types of medical conditions. it's about time something like this came along.

Comment on Diaper Humor is Best Left to Those Who Know What They're Talking About

Dr. C. Lambert — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 21:16:02 -0000
I have been in the field of geriatric care for 25 years and have specialized in treating the frail elderly, especially those with Alzheimer's disease, the many types of dementia and the associated behavioral dysfunctions. I have spent my entire career advocating for the elderly. I just read Justin Peters' article about his efforts to "test drive" and rate adult diapers. I found his article to be helpful and not in the least offensive. I thought he handled a sensitive subject with a dry wit by admitting his shortcomings and then went on to do a very admirable job in comparing the products. Certainly I got more unbiased information than was available anywhere else. So to Mr. Peters I say thanks and job well done. And to his critics I respectfully suggest they lighten up a little. The geriatric healthcare system has reached critical mass. We can't afford distractions.

Comment on When Caregiving for Someone With Alzheimer's, Emotions Are All-Important

nther43 — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 14:25:17 -0000
My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 adeno carcenoma lung cancer on Feb 22, 2010 and died Feb 28, 2010. He never knew he had this till it was too late and had it had gone to his brain already and his body was shutting down on him. He had been sick for months and loosing weigh and could not eat. None of his doctors caught this, cardiologist, MD, cholestrol doctor, allergy doctor. How could this of happened? I can't understand this? Until he saw a Pulmonery doctor did we find out. I'm just thankful he didn't suffer long.

Comment on RIP, Ted Kennedy--and Thank You

sadtosay — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 22:54:25 -0000
I meant to agree with anon no.2

Comment on RIP, Ted Kennedy--and Thank You

sadtosay — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 21:51:12 -0000
Agree completely. If the legislature agrees to come under the same "health care" the rest of America will get under this onerous new "plan" we will get to the truth quickly won't we. It stinks!

Comment on How to Find a Doctor Who Listens - and Cares

homecare — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 10:45:00 -0000
Well Caregivers can also help a patient in helping your parents in daily routine work. If they are suffering from severe disease or they are recovering from some surgery.Professional caregivers really helps patients in their daily house hold work.Well I know company named homecareplus based in ireland which provides home care services at their best.

Comment on Save on Seniors' Grocery Bills (and More) Online

Anonymous — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 23:52:57 -0000
Thanks for these great sites to help seniors save money on grocery bills! It is really nice to see such efforts on behalf of senior citizens. http://www.wecreateriches.com/index.asp?r=rbecker

Comment on Talking to Someone With Dementia: Is It Okay to Fib?

blessed daughter — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 19:40:56 -0000
I find myself sometimes fibbing to my 93 year old mom with dimentia. For example, it has become physically taxing for my God fearing mother to attend church, although it was always a huge part of her life for so many years. Recently, she asked me if she goes to church and I crossed my fingers and told her yes. (I justified it because I often turn her TV on the church channel). I am glad my instincts were right.

Comment on Alzheimer's Aggression Is Scary, But You Can Get Through It

tklaiber — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 15:23:21 -0000
Reminding me to stay calm and look at the cause. Mother's slaps are so mild because she is tiny and weak but the mental impact does upset me. Usually the outburst is because I have had to touch something of hers - she is a like a person with ocd when it comes to her possessions.

Comment on 7 Ways to Find Bargains in Senior Housing

Get Free Samples — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 23:49:17 -0000
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Comment on Diabetes Drug Combo May Keep the Mind Healthy

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Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

lili33 — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 23:29:16 -0000
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Comment on Diabetes Drug Combo May Keep the Mind Healthy

lili33 — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 23:24:02 -0000
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Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

lili33 — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 23:23:55 -0000
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Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

lili33 — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 14:09:11 -0000
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Comment on What To Do When a Family Disagreement Makes Caregiving Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

lili33 — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 14:08:59 -0000
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Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

lili33 — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 13:23:00 -0000
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Comment on What To Do When a Family Disagreement Makes Caregiving Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

lili33 — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 13:22:37 -0000
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Comment on What To Do When a Family Disagreement Makes Caregiving Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

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Comment on 10 Signs Your Parent Is Struggling Financially

hveshdon — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 23:47:49 -0000
There seems to be a financial problem in the elder care world. To me, people are charging families too much money for non medical elder care, and its a shame. A lot of the time, that money comes out of the pocket of the elderly, that is another reason why the elderly may be short on funds.

Comment on Diabetes Drug Combo May Keep the Mind Healthy

grcmikey — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 00:41:02 -0000
We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking, only to learn that it is God who is shaking them.

Comment on Home Monitors Watch Over Seniors Aging in Place

Anonymous — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 15:24:54 -0000
I recommend the use of the Just5 cell phone for emergency purposes. My mom is always falling from the stairs so I got her the Just5 cell phone. When she presses the SOS button, the phone automatically contacts up to 5 preprogrammed numbers and even gives off a loud alarm to call for help. It even is perfect for her age because the phone is designed with big buttons, bright display, and amplified sound. Check this phone here: www.just5.com.

Comment on Home Monitors Watch Over Seniors Aging in Place

Anonymous — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 15:23:22 -0000
I recommend the use of the Just5 cell phone for emergency purposes. My mom is always falling from the stairs so I got her the Just5 cell phone. When she presses the SOS button, the phone automatically contacts up to 5 preprogrammed numbers and even gives off a loud alarm to call for help. It even is perfect for her age because the phone is designed with big buttons, bright display, and amplified sound. Check this phone here: www.just5.com.

Comment on When Someone With Dementia Says, "I Want to Go Home"

Anonymous — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 05:43:55 -0000
My mother in law used to say "I want to go home" and at the same time point her index finger up, indicating Heaven. She went there in 2007.

Comment on SelfCare: 7 Things To Do When You're Stressed to Wit's End

Qamar — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 03:54:28 -0000
Thank u, this articles was very helpful!

Comment on SelfCare: 7 Things To Do When You're Stressed to Wit's End

Qamar — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 03:51:58 -0000
. Decide not to decide. "Should I do x or y?" When you're superstressed, even the simplest decisions can overwhelm you. Deciding might relieve some uncertainty, but sometimes you just can't get there right away. What's important is to know that's okay. Better: Walk away from the decision. Put it off for today, if that's possible. Even if the decision feels urgent, you almost always have an hour to take a time out. Don't think about the pressing choice. Distract yourself, sit with yourself, do anything but dwell. Sometimes giving yourself the gift of a little distance is all the breathing room you needed.

Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

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Comment on Creating a Family Oral History: Asking the Right Questions

alley cat — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 15:40:57 -0000
You suggested sending in personal accounts of my starting my oral histories of relatives and friends. I interviewed my elderly school teacher on countless occasions without her even knowing it. She would forget that I was asking the same questions over and over and would gladly answer again and again. I loved it! I particularly loved hearing her tell about things that annoyed her about her neighbors, how her childhood home and neighborhood had changed, friends and students who had died, trips she took while teaching. Typical questions: how did she decide to go into teaching? Tell about her favorite Christmas tradition growing up. What were some of the names of family pets. If she could travel anywhere, where would she go? Why? For other relatives, I asked questions relating to their growing up years, where they went to school, how did they meet their spouse, did they have a sense of direction of what kind of occupation they went into, their favorite kind of music, favorite music artists. Many of these questions would lead to other stories or other topics. As far as I know, I'm the only one in my family who did this on a regular basis. Some of it is written and some are on video or cassette tape. I did not know I like to write until I started this venture 40 years!

Comment on Adaptive Senior Clothing: A Welcome Solution to Dressing Challenges

gratefulforhelp — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 22:14:08 -0000
My younger sister was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at the age of 50. She has recently asked me to find more comfortable clothing. Her jeans are no longer an option because the zipper bothers and confuses her. I am always thankful for new ideas and advice as we navigate these murky waters together. Caring.com is a gift. I'm at the point where I'm learning what I don't know and feel as if I'm in control thanks to the fabulous information and caring individuals. It's nice to know I'm not alone and I have help. Thank you and happy Holidays!

Comment on Plastic and Cancer: How Big a Risk, Really?

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Comment on Euthanasia for End-Stage Alzheimer's? How About Humanity Instead

Sandy's — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 21:53:54 -0000
I don't disagree but then there is consideration of the allocation of scarce resources. Would you have a heart lung transplant done on a patient with late stage three Alzheimer's?

Comment on Euthanasia for End-Stage Alzheimer's? How About Humanity Instead

Sandy's — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 21:48:26 -0000
Seeing the articulation of these points of view is helpful for calibrating my own point of view. I believe that comfort measures only are right for Alzheimer's. But I interpret the term comfort broadly. I don't force food but I try to entice eating with food I know he likes, colorful dishes and special touches. If he broke his hip, I'd have it repaired because a broken hip is painful but I wouldn't put in a feeding tube to maintain nutrition. I continue his medications because he is in a comfort zone. I disagree that incontinence care requires all night efforts. With the right equipment/supplies there can be a 12 hour window of dryness. As for a breathing tube, I will have to see what the situation requiring one is all about. My husband is very dear to be. We continue to have sporadic good moments but most are neither good nor bad. I work hard for a smile, sing to him, people read to him. He reaches for my hand if I am nearby. He cooperates with his care. All of these things are a source of joy for me. Before his illness, he was exemplary as a human being. Everyone he touched felt warmly toward him. When he first became ill, I couldn't turn my back on him. It was very difficult. He became angry, cranky, short tempered and inconsiderate toward me. He was in utter denial about anything being wrong with him yet I think at some level he knew. He stopped taking on new students and withdrew from participation in his research. We couldn't talk about what was happening because to him, nothing was happening. It's difficult to read about these things in others because my fear, hurt and anger are still so fresh. Yet I know that this is a phase of early Alzheimer's and a great trial for a spouse and for some children. Our son couldn't cope with these events and mostly withdrew and we didn't hear from him. Our daughter, thousands of miles away was often critical of my early bumbling efforts at caregiving. It took a long time for me to be able to take this journey with him in a productive manner. I felt that he deserved my commitment but didn't know if I had the gumption to follow through. I still don't know but somehow each major change has engendered the necessary skills and willingness to carry out the necessary actions. Stool incontinence was the most recent before he started wandering. I am unable to perceive his behavior after I'm asleep. It may be months before I get my service dog. He has never been combative. I won't know if this becomes the deal breaker until and unless it happens. And that's the other side of my coin. Sandy's

Comment on Dementia Holiday Activities That Lower Stress and Raise the Joy

The Caregiver's Voice — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 01:40:08 -0000
GREAT IDEAS, Paula. Thanks for taking the time to share these...I agree the holiday music that is part of our very being (depending on where we were raised), keeps our spirits alive...and the smell of cookies baking and being able to eat some of that dough...well...YUMMY!

Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

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Comment on What To Do When a Family Disagreement Makes Caregiving Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

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Comment on What To Do When a Family Disagreement Makes Caregiving Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

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Comment on Home Monitors Watch Over Seniors Aging in Place

Anonymous — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 14:35:53 -0000
I suggest that you consider using the Just5 cell phone instead of this kind of home monitoring system. The phone is very simple and can be used to save lives anytime and anywhere. The phone has a simple SOS button that allows the user to call for help through automatic dialing and alarm. My grandpa is using this phone and he is completely relying on this phone when speaking of his safety and security. Check this phone here: www.just5.com.

Comment on What to Tip Aging Parents' Helpers at the Holidays

ms.mermaid — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 04:12:56 -0000
We are having the same dilemma. Our dad has an aide 4 hours per day. The first half of the year, his aide was terrific. She went back to school. The second half of the year he had a different, equally terrific aide, and she is still with him. Do we stiff the first one? That's not fair. She also helped him transition from independent living to assisted living, which was huge. I think $500 for a year, for a part time aide, is a good amount. Now the question is how to divide up the bonus. BTW we pay $462 per week for the aide.

Comment on What to Tip Aging Parents' Helpers at the Holidays

Anonymous — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 03:13:41 -0000
We are having the same dilemma in our family. Our dad has dementia and has a caregiver for 4 hours every day. I think that $500 for one person who has attended our dad for the entire year is good, for a half-time aide. Two sisters think that is the amount we should give to the most recent constant caregiver, who has only been working with our dad since the last half of June, when she phased in and the other one phased out. The other one also gave our dad excellent care but worked the first half of the year and we haven't even seen her in months. Do we stiff her? She helped our dad cope with a traumatic move from independent living to assisted living, and I think she deserves as much as the current person. But how much is that? I am thinking $400 each; when I am being miserly I think $300 each would be good. That is still more than the $500 I would pay one single person for a full year, and is a little more than what we pay the agency for the aides per week. How much they actually make per hour, I don't know.

Comment on Forgetting Faces: What It's Like to No Longer Be Recognized by Your Dad

TomD2000 — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 22:14:47 -0000
This is now happening with My 85 year old dad...he thinks my mother is an imposter, he wonders where his wife is....My sister came to visit from out of town and he does not know who she is...this is her first experience with this. I think I will be next.

Comment on "Chemo Brain" Can Be a Serious Concern for Cancer Patients

hveshdon — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 20:48:31 -0000
I have heard about some new studies and research that implies that there are dies out there that can help slow down malignant growths. Rf tooling is a way to cast dies in certain metals but I have heard we can take that same process and use it against these medical conditions. www.electronicdiecorp.com

Comment on Beat the Holiday Blues With These 5 Stress-Busting Strategies

Anonymous — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 10:27:35 -0000
I like the "beware of things that bring you down" suggestions. It's all about finding small ways to mark the holiday -- that bring everyone together. Tha'ts what everyone remembers. Recent research shows that it's NOT about the gifts. It's about planting memories. http://voicequilt.blogspot.com/2010/12/celebrate-holidays-by-creating-memories.html

Comment on 10 Tips for Better Sex After 50

mfa — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 08:18:15 -0000
i am wondering what is the consequences (in health term) if a person in his early to mid 30s has like one or twice sex yearly.... well... excluding oral, I am talking about sex sex

Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

jadesmith — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 06:25:23 -0000
Discomfort felt in areas like abdomen, shoulders, upper portion of the back, jaw and neck. Succinctness in breathing or one feels as though one is not able to get ample air. This briefness of breath mostly would be felt prior to or alongside chest pains or discomforting sensation. Feeling nauseous or puking, perspiration. Feeling lightheaded or dizzy. Atypical feeling of weariness, heartburn. Lost craving for food, Cardiac flutter and coughing are the symptoms which are prominently seen. http://www.womenhealthcenter.net/womens-heart-disease.html

Comment on Beat the Holiday Blues With These 5 Stress-Busting Strategies

ewarner — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 21:58:53 -0000
The Alzheimer's Daily News had an interesting article on gifts for the holidays. The Best Holiday Gift Is a Smile (Source: The Alzheimer's Store) - As family and friends immerse themselves in the holiday spirit one seemingly insurmountable challenge is the annual dilemma of what to buy someone who themselves are immersed in a disease. But the answer really is simple and it differs little from the principles that apply to everyone - a gift that generates a smile. Read more at alznews.org

Comment on Happy Holiday Tips for Alzheimer's Caregivers (Emphasis on the "Happy")

ewarner — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 21:38:50 -0000
The Alzheimer's Daily News had an interesting article on gifts for the holidays. The Best Holiday Gift Is a Smile (Source: The Alzheimer's Store) - As family and friends immerse themselves in the holiday spirit one seemingly insurmountable challenge is the annual dilemma of what to buy someone who themselves are immersed in a disease. But the answer really is simple and it differs little from the principles that apply to everyone - a gift that generates a smile. Read more at alznews.org

Comment on Drugs That Up the Odds of Falling Down

juddha — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 04:25:58 -0000
more information. Not specific, just not enough info. what are some good alternatives (natural, herbal, supplements) to take for high blood pressure for example.

Comment on Fighting for Breath: A Mother's Last Weeks of Life

dailyreader — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 16:06:50 -0000
My wife and I, on the advice of our family lawyer, have explicit instructions covering end of life pain, and other potential problems! This is in addition to our "living wills"! It instructs our daughter of our wishes, and relieves her of heart rendering decisions, about our final comfort levels and care...money well spent, in our opinions!

Comment on Fighting for Breath: A Mother's Last Weeks of Life

dailyreader — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 16:00:11 -0000
I am rapidly losing faith in a lot of doctors! In this case, why should a doctor forego a dying patients need for a pain relief medication? Why could not the family seek another more caring, less mentally screwed up doctor? I have never sued anybody, but I would him! My daughter is a Nurse Practitioner, my granddaughter is an OD, both abhore this doctors mental attitude! Between harmful religious beliefs, and some doctors pure greed for money, accompanied by God like egos, some of us are not getting the best care from these physicians, in my opinion!

Comment on Forgetting Faces: What It's Like to No Longer Be Recognized by Your Dad

The Caregiver's Voice — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 19:56:04 -0000
Surprising! How can my father who celebrated his 49th brithday with the birth of his daughter (me!) forget who I am? Yet he did! Instead of lamenting the loss, I looked forward to that moment--in the ups and downs of lucidity--when he did recognize me. He looked at me, called me by name, and asked me a question. After I assured him that all was taken care of, he was calmed and continued walking...away. SIGH Such are the JOYs of Caregiving for one with Alzhemer's.

Comment on Why You Should Worry When Your Parents Mention the Word Annuity

RoseJK — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 08:32:33 -0000
My grandmother had been sold an annuity some 5 years ago by her trusted bank. She told us after the fact that she had did so, investing nearly 80% of her money into it. It just matured and she had intended to cash it out and put it into a CD or her savings and the investment banker convinced her that since she didn't have expenses, she should put it back in. This was 2 weeks ago. She didn't even remember that she had done so. Now she has just been diagnosed with dementia and will likely need the funds and can only draw out 10% by next year. I am angry that this has happened to her. Our family is trying to sort out things and plan for her care in the near future. I want to get this bank reported for doing this type of thing to her.

Comment on What to Feed Someone With Memory Loss

Rendezvous 747 — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 16:26:15 -0000
The fact that I'm doing this already, makes me feel good. I continue to read and learn from posts on here.

Comment on When Someone With Dementia Says, "I Want to Go Home"

pippy — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 23:14:18 -0000
A* article and so very true. 10 yrs ago when my mother was first admitted to hospital with mixed dementia, she kept asking me to take her home. On her birthday we took her out, the nurses guessed that i would take her home and advised me against it. But , i took no notice! We took her home, she did not recognise where she was, she didnt know where the kitchen was or the toilet/bathroom. she sat in a different chair than she usually sat in and slept the whole hour!! when we were on our way back to the hospital,all she was saying was ' i want to go home'!! It certainly eased me for future visits when she asked to go home.

Comment on What to Tip Aging Parents' Helpers at the Holidays

GrammaLo — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 19:31:50 -0000
I would like to know how much to tip for a period much shorter than a year. Also, I pay a total of close to $2000 per week for my husband's three caregivers (thankfully, with the help of the very expensive long-term care insurance we were prescient enough to buy). We are by no means wealthy and I could not afford anywhere near that amount of money, or help, without our insurance coverage. I don't feel comfortable asking our children to chip in. Two thousand dollars in caregiver tips sounds extravagant and unaffordable to me. I would appreciate others' specific suggestions about how much to spend, including both cash and gifts.

Comment on Dental Treatment for Alzheimer's Patients

Anonymous — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 17:56:09 -0000
You have a Great Big Heart and Love for your mother. I find that if I take my mom out into the sunshine while I am outdoors. It makes her and I into better feelings and shape in this colder weather. God Bless.

Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

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Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

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Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

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Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

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Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

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Comment on What To Do When a Family Disagreement Makes Caregiving Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

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Comment on What To Do When a Family Disagreement Makes Caregiving Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

Anonymous — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 08:32:24 -0000
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Comment on Adaptive Senior Clothing: A Welcome Solution to Dressing Challenges

zapaep — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 18:37:29 -0000
The information you send me is so very helpful and encouraging in my walk as a caregiver to my husband. THANK YOU

Comment on Your Parents' Debts and Bills - Should You Worry?

Anonymous — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 08:36:10 -0000
Mom is on a fixed income. She now lives w/me but I have no constant income. She pays the rent and partial food expenses. Is there any benefits available for us? I do not want charity. Perhaps there's a barter system set up in Milwaukee to which we can subscribe.

Comment on Lewy Body or Alzheimer's: Do You Need to Know What KIND of Dementia?

emilypinaud — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 06:16:09 -0000
All I was told 2 years ago was your mom has dimentia.She is on in home hospice.How can I find out what kind of dimentia she has?

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

mhohstadt — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 23:42:02 -0000
I have been insured thru the Oregon Medical Ins. Pool and paying a premium of about $475. per month. I am insured as an individual. I just got a notice that they are raising my rate to $546. per month. that is: $6552. per year. your web site quotes: Under the law, the premiums for this pool will be the same as would be charged for a standard population of people with varying risks. Maximum out-of-pocket cost sharing for enrollees will be $5,950 for individuals and $11,900 for families, per year. Is the Oregon program wrong? How does a working guy afford such a hugh amount for insurance? The whole system stinks!

Comment on New Gadgets to Help the Old

Anonymous — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 15:28:16 -0000
The ideal gadget for seniors of today is the Just5 cell phone. This phone is very helpful for them because of its emergency response features. In just a press of a button, the phone can automatically contact help in their behalf through automatic dialing and alarm features. The phone has also large keys, bright screen, and amplified sound. I learned about this phone at www.just5.com.

Comment on Better Sleep for Dementia Caregivers: Two Fresh Solutions

emilypinaud — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 12:22:55 -0000
I love the idea of night care. Hospice is wonderful but work only day shifts.Makes no sense when the majority of dimentia patients have night episodes.

Comment on Is TDM-1 a Miracle Drug for Advanced Breast Cancer?

Mash — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 04:13:39 -0000
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Comment on The Plot Thickens: Another Clue in the Alzheimer's-Diabetes Mystery

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Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

ccbbdd — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 06:20:15 -0000
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Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

ccbbdd — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 06:18:59 -0000
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Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

ccbbdd — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 06:12:35 -0000
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ccbbdd — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 06:07:12 -0000
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Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

ccbbdd — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 06:05:15 -0000
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ccbbdd — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 06:03:26 -0000
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Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

Anonymous — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 06:02:50 -0000
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Comment on How to Decide on Enrolling a Family Member With Alzheimer's in a Clinical Trial

confused — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 20:45:02 -0000
Dear caring family, my mom lost her battle with alzheimer after battling it for many years. She passed in sept 10th of 2010. she passed peacefully. The family would like to thank you our extended family for all the helpful advice we received. May God Bless you and thank you again.

Comment on Home-Spun Gift Certificates: Unique, Meaningful, and Budget-Flexible

Anonymous — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 05:49:43 -0000
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Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

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Comment on The Mother's Day Gift That Keeps on Giving

patches76 — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 14:36:44 -0000
How I wish I had listened more intently when my Mother talked about her family and friends. She is gone now, so is my father, and I am trying to leave some information for my daughters and grandchildren on our familys past. Where they came from, who they married, where they lived while bringing up there families. My father died in 1079 and Mother in 1983 and how I miss both of them. I used to go and sit with my father who had heart problems and remember the things we did as I was growing up. Mother lived with me for 9 years and I miss her more everyday. Soon I will see both of them in heaven I hope, and have so much to tell them. Listen hard to what your folks have to say about thei past, it will mean a lot to you, when you explain where we came from as a family. Give them a kiss or hug when you leave for you will never know when they won't be around to love on.

Comment on What To Do When a Family Disagreement Makes Caregiving Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

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Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

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Comment on "But Dad, You Just Ate": How Alzheimer's Changes Appetite and What to Do About It

punkersad Sharon Midlothian, Il — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 14:57:03 -0000
My mom is a chocolate freak too. She will eat that no matter what. The sugar on the food sounds like a good idea. I bet anything that if you read the ingredience in a jar of spagetti that sugar is one of them. I Know that they put it in some chilies so I dont think that is that unusual.

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

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Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

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Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

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Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

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Comment on Alzheimer's Romance: Why Sandra Day O'Connor Is Right

americanwumn — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 05:26:36 -0000
I saw my Dad sit down next to a lady in his nursing home during a group event in the main room in exactly the same way he would sit down next to my Mom and do the same thing. One thought I had was that he thought it was my Mom because he hallucinated so much. Another thought I had though, was that if he didn't, he at least had a friend. I wouldn't call it romantic exactly, and for wherever he was in his head, he was happy and comforted. He was crazy about my Mom, and I don't think cheating or disloyalty had a thing to do with it. It was nice to see him smile:) A nursing home can be a lonely place, and alot of Alzheimer's patients become angry. I counted it as a blessing that he giggled, or smiled even though he couldn't talk anymore.

Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

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Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

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Comment on The 5 REAL Reasons You're Stressed –- and How to Tame Them Now

jrl3743 — Sun, 14 Nov 2010 08:42:18 -0000
i need so much help. need to pick something small so i can actually accomplish something

Comment on Is TDM-1 a Miracle Drug for Advanced Breast Cancer?

DeniseKC — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 06:48:29 -0000
My mom is ER+/HER2 negative/neu (HER-2/neu) . . . would this work for her at stage 2, 3 or 4??? It sounds like we want this drug over the Herceptin they are wanting to try. I want to implement the best possible treatment and after discussing this with my mom, we are more than likely gonna ask our oncologist about this "super Herceptin" of sorts. We are ABOUT to start a trial w/ Herceptin and about 4 other meds... so if we can do something different... I am just curious about those with NEGATIVE HER2 where estrogen is believed to be the majority of the cause. Thank you SOO MUCH for posting this information.

Comment on Is TDM-1 a Miracle Drug for Advanced Breast Cancer?

dryaser — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 00:12:40 -0000
hiiii.... im dr.yaser from saudia arabia... my mother has acute meyloid leukemia on palliative chemotherapy.. is it possible to use this new medicine on my mother case? and if it is.... how can i get it... thank you.....

Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

nanax13 — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 14:59:24 -0000
I have sleep apnea and I thought it was alright to sleep on your back. I HAVE A BIPAP AND THE AIR DOESNOT ESCAPE AS MUCH ON YOUR BACK, SO i THOUGHT IT WAS ALRIGHT.

Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

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Comment on Questions I Wish I'd Asked Mom

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Comment on 12 Signs of an Over-Involved Caregiver

Sandy's — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 18:33:47 -0000
It's difficult to connect with the idea of giving too much when it's your husband of over 50 years who treated this caregiver like a princess. We suffererd ups and downs like most people but we became closer and always supported each other. My husband always did the dishes but now can barely stand. He did the laundry and shopping. Now he feels lost, sad and frightened. I hold his hand and tell him I love him and cry endlessly. I do have help to the tune of 40 hours per week. I have good friends but no family in sight.

Comment on Cash and Counseling Program Offers a Paycheck for Care Giving

aiming09 — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 17:01:12 -0000
I am glad i saw this, blog post today. It has been informative at least. My son and i had been talking about the possibility of him getting paid to help me as i am disabled and need help now. My health is declining. I will read through as much info here as i can and see about taking the next step towards possible funding. Thanks!

Comment on Sex and Alzheimer's: Love Stories, Sad Stories, and Lots of Questions

gilwayw — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 15:31:52 -0000
It is very helpful to know that my feelings are shared by others. Sometimes the situation can be a bit overwelming, but I always manage to bounce back. Piled onto the situation with my husband's Alzheimer's are other family issues - oldest son (USAF) is in Afghanistan, third son involved in motorcycle accident, and youngest granddaughter (2 1/2) is battling leukemia. You know how that goes. Some weeks are better than others. I've learned that many times when I get overwelmed at not being able to help others more, I just have to give it up to God and remind myself that I'm not really in charge. I'm so glad I stumbled onto this website last week. How nice to have a life line!..........Gillian

Comment on Paying for Cancer Care: What to Do When Insurance Says No

PolicyOptions — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 17:43:16 -0000
Many cancer patients aren't aware of an additional option for obtaining funds for treatment. It's called a "viatical settlement". Through a viatical settlement, you can sell your life insurance policy to a licensed financial institution for a lump-sum of immediate funds. The benefits are typically tax free and can be used however you please, including to pay for medical expenses, living expenses, or simply to enjoy life. Please contact me or visit my company's website at www.mypolicyoptions.com to learn more. Our company has helped countless cancer patients obtain funds in their times of need. While you're fighting cancer, we'll be fighting for you.

Comment on World Alzheimer's Day and Why People With Alzheimer's Need It

Anonymous — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 17:31:39 -0000
my mom just passed on oct.2 2010. the journy for the last decade has been totally devistating .To make things a little more bearable, i suggest you get your loved one on depression meds. ASAP, second, dont try to correct them of their memories,this really only annoys them. just go with it(remember, this is not something you can fix). its hard to understand untill youve been through it. all you can do is put a smile on your face, & help them feel safe.this disease is the MOST painful, mentally as well as physically, for YOU & your loved one. if i could help anyone,and everyone go thru this i would.

Comment on When Dementia Makes Someone See Things That Aren't There

Home Care Portland — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 18:56:00 -0000
The line between the humor and seriousness of dementia is so delicate. Often times we are told to remain in good spirits during difficult situations and sometimes laughter can be the best medicine. Very nice article.

Comment on What to Feed Someone With Memory Loss

Iona Askew — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 14:05:03 -0000
This is a very helpful article. As a carer of an elderly parent with early stage alzheimer's I'm always looking for ways to help her. I found a wonderful resource, a free bonus book about Brain food, and it has helped us a lot. Changing over to a diet rich in omega 3, antioxidants etc is better for anyonel but there seems to be a lot of evidence that it does indeed help to slow down the progression of alzheimer's. That and doing brain exercises too. thankyou and keep up the good work. Free bonus book about Brain Food Try Brain Tune for Free Memory Help & Brain Training

Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

syra — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 04:44:58 -0000
I have blood clots in my thigh. I exercise daily. I must have a procedure for P.A.D Made three years ago, it stopped. I wanted to stop Coumadin. It appears on both legs. I was afraid that the clot formation again, but I was told that it is more a cosmetic procedure. I wear long shorts, because the bumps are so remarkable. My mother had these bumps too. She could not set store on them because of pain. I was always told they were fat cells and will appear if you are overweight. I' m not overweight at the moment. What are your suggestions. http://www.insideheart.com/causes-of-blood-clots.html

Comment on Is TDM-1 a Miracle Drug for Advanced Breast Cancer?

Anonymous — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 01:51:05 -0000
My wife has breast cancer that's HER2-positive. Starting in her breast it came back in her liver (3 spots) and her spine (2 spots) and her hip bone. Then in April 2 tumors were found in her brain. After 2 years of several kinds of chemo and radiation her poor body was so worn down she could walk to the mailbox and back and had to take a nap. Her oncologist was going to keep her on the chemo drugs until she just couldn't go anymore. We decided to get a second opinion and the new oncologist recommended that she begin a treatment of TDM1. Last week we got the last of all the test and there is no sign of cancer in her whole body. First, I praise the Lord Jesus Christ and secondly I thank God for TDM1 and pray daily that the drug will get okay-ed by the FDA soon. It is a miracle drug. alight

Comment on Hail, Hail, Heart Patients: an Alternative to a Common Heart Medication

scrappers wife — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 15:54:50 -0000
I contacted the pharmaceutical company, Boehringer-Ingelheim, about Pradaxa, their new alternative to coumadin... They did not do any trials for patients with mechanical heart valves, only patients who have a-fib... The lady I spoke with said it would be our doctors call and recommended we talk with our doctor. A-fib patients take coumadin so maybe Pradaxa will work for mechanical valves... we can only hope....

Comment on Fall Prevention: How to Stave Off Stumbles

hurting58 — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 11:19:04 -0000
I am 52 and have trouble with falls all the time!! I fell 3 times 3 days ago and am still hurting. My husband fusses at me and tells me your just going to have to watch were your going. I'm not a complete idiot and do try to watch were I am going. I am also having problems with dementia. My short term memory is gone. I have so many physical problems that I can't do any exercises, they are even afraid for me to walk. My prayers are with you and I hope you feel better soon. Billie Mae

Comment on Dementia Caregivers Deserve Summer Vacation, Too

htabor — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 11:36:15 -0000
I'm interested in building an assisted vacation home on the beach off the Louisiana coast. Our area offers beach play, crabbing, fishing, bird watching, and simply the sights, sounds, and smell of the ocean. I'd like the place to house at least three individuals and their caregivers (six bedrooms) with a kitchen and common dining area. I am now searching for plans that would provide for physically handicapped individuals. Do you know where I could get that sort of information and visit a place near New Orleans, La to see what others have available? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks, Helen Tabor

Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

syra — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 04:26:35 -0000
Thanks for the focus on education about heart disease. Up until August 2009 I knew nothing. The shape of the engineering virus spread through the body and infected cells, but not cause disease. The researchers have refocused the modified virus to bind to proteins on the surface of many cancer cells. They were also charged with a fluorescent protein that allowed them to see where the virus has finished. He went directly to cancer cells, and elsewhere. Over time, this research could lead to gene therapy technique in human patients. http://www.insideheart.com/heart-attacks-in-women.html

Comment on 10 Early Signs of Prostate Cancer That Often Go Unnoticed

Tingling — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 23:13:11 -0000
Am so sorry for you friend, i will be praying for them

Comment on 10 Early Signs of Prostate Cancer That Often Go Unnoticed

Tingling — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 23:10:46 -0000
my husband wake up very often at nights to pee, he use to life alot of weight from he is a child

Comment on The Best Way to Protect Your Health: Take Vitamin D

SandraThomas — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 12:05:53 -0000
It's well known that vitamin D is vital for calcium absorption and bone health and some studies have suggested it even has an anti-cancer effect, by playing a key role in activating white blood cells that protect the body from flu and cancer. http://www.healthywomenguide.com/sources-of-vitamin-d.html

Comment on Heartburn or Heart Attack? Women May Miss the Signs

syra — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 05:06:35 -0000
Women can begin showing symptoms a month before the actual attack. If a woman you know is experiencing unusual fatigue, sleep disturbance, anxiety, indigestion, weakness in the arms, anxiety, and a shortness of breath, this is serious, and she must get to a hospital immediately. Fewer than 30% of women who've suffered a heart attack had any chest pain prior to their heart attack. 43% of women who suffered a heart attack experienced no chest pain during the attack! 58% of the women who experienced heart attacks suffered shortness of breath just before the attack. 55% suffered weakness, and 43% suffered fatigue. 39% suffered from a cold sweat, and 39% suffered from dizziness or lightheadedness. Other women described pain between their shoulder blades, or back pain . http://www.insideheart.com/heart-attacks-in-women.html

Comment on When Celebrities Face Alzheimer's: Advice for Caregivers From 6 Who've Been There

DGraab — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 18:14:48 -0000
Today (Sunday, October 24, 2010), Caring.com is participating in Maria Shriver's March on Alzheimer's. You can join our team, or donate funds to benefit The Alzheimer's Association, here: http://bit.ly/AlzTeam More information about the march is here: http://www.womensconference.org/march-on-alzheimer-s If you have a loved one with this disease, or know someone who does, here is Caring.com's newest resource to support you: http://www.caring.com/steps-stages/alzheimers Steps & Stages includes a free Custom Care Guide, stage-based caregiver support groups, and practical expert tips week-by-week.

Comment on Many More Cancer Drugs Covered by Insurance Thanks to New Medicare Rules

Ashley Schmid — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 12:15:02 -0000
Ya its true.. The new medicare rule made beneficial to more drugs. I like to share this news to my friend whose father was suffering from cancer. Really this article will be helpful for them.. Thanks for sharing..

Comment on World Alzheimer's Day and Why People With Alzheimer's Need It

tomtaz56 — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 11:25:17 -0000
Read well This is a devastating disease, for the patient and their families. you lose your loved one long before they die. my mother had dementia a form of alzheimer's, I lost her 3 months ago to the day. she suffered for a good 7 yrs. I was her only care taker. serioussue, Sorry for the lost of your mother, I lost my mother over 20 years ago and I still try to call her. I do not want to hurt your feeling but people need to understand. Not only were you the only care taker you were just a care taker not a daughter. To me the worst part of this disease is losing your love one in front of your eye's! My wife's mother has walk down this road for the past 3 years, before this summer she would talk a little, fed her self and forgot a lot. This summer we have lost her for good she does not remember her husband who has been with her since she was 14 years old. She's 65 now. She does not know my wife's name. basically all she can do get up, get fed, and walk around the house with no reason head down arms to her side. when she sits down she looks like she's sick she can not hold her head up. A question serioussue at what year of the 7 years. did you notice the major change in her?

Comment on 6 Ways to Work Around Someone Else's Denial

Dela — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 00:50:03 -0000
Thank you so much! It was very helpful!! I need any comments from others who are faced with a spouse who denies AD!! Many many thanks!!

Comment on Would You Take One of the New Alzheimer's Tests?

LindaSD — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 20:02:21 -0000
My mother's mother died from it, my father and my mother had it. It's not about wanting to know, it's if I knew what could I do about it. I am 62, have no insurance and little money after years of being caregiver to my parents. If I knew I had it but couldn't afford the medication, I'd be really irritated. So I'd rather not know. I'd rather live life as best I can until or unless someone wants to start giving free medication for this disease.

Comment on Is It Ever Okay to Laugh About Alzheimer's?

CA-Claire — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 19:52:20 -0000
Unfortunately, both of my parents have AD, Dad is moderate, Mom is probably early moderate (find out today about her). I try very hard to find the fun behind what they do. Easier some days than others. I do like the comment stream on the Joke-a-Day for Alzheimers on this wonderful site. There are some really good ones. Hope everyone has a good week.

Comment on Yummy Soft Foods For Seniors

c siganoff — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 07:47:35 -0000
my dad had all his teeth removed because he will start radiation treatments in his mouth next wk. We have been giving him soups , potatoes, jellow etc. He is hungry all the time and bored of his new diet.... Any suggestions

Comment on Seniors May Need Less Sleep

Precept — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 16:01:04 -0000
* ah yes, Less energy expended less energy needed. * But the day-time napping intruding on night-time sleeping?.... a method called 'micro-napping' (8-11 minutes) during daytime is said to be effective at refreshing a morning's mental agility, and physical reserves in afternoon time.

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