Financial Crises for Caregivers: The Time vs. Money Dilemma
By Melanie Haiken, Caring.com senior editor
When a family member needs to be taken care of, how do you do it and still earn a living? This isn't a question I ask lightly; it's an issue that's sinking family budgets all over the country. And it's an issue that's being discussed actively in groups here at Caring.com, where members share their problems and receive ideas, suggestions, and sympathy from others in the same boat. When it comes to figuring out how to care for parents or other family members without going bankrupt, our shared wisdom is producing some great strategies.
If family members can't share caregiving responsibilities, ask them to share household costs.One issue that's coming up a lot is what happens when mom, dad, or grandma moves in with one adult child -- or that child moves into the family home -- and that person becomes the primary caregiver. Meanwhile, other family members are less affected and able to go on with their lives. Well, doesn't it make sense for those family members -- whose ability to earn a living hasn't been affected -- to contribute funds to the family that's taking the financial hit? Absolutely, say our members, hearing the story of JenS, who is trying to care for her grandmother while raising a young family of her own. Other family members should pitch in to help with living expenses. In addition, the person with whom the aging relative is living should feel free to hire help when needed, with other family members footing the bill.
Get paid by the government to care for your family member. Depending on what state you live in, it may be possible to receive money from Social Security to be a "personal care assistant" for a family member. Often a course or certification is required, and the process is more or less complicated in some states than others. Read how anonymous explained the process to Meigster here.
We also have excellent expert advice on how to get paid for family caregiving.
Hire help to take care of your neglected responsibilities -- and make sure your family shares those costs. I'll never forget looking up one day from scrubbing my mom's bathtub and realizing that my daughters were bathing in a tub that hadn't been scrubbed in weeks. As many of us have learned the hard way, when you're trying desperately to keep a parent living independently in their home, your own home suffers in direct proportion. When people asked why my mom couldn't at least pay for a cleaner once in awhile, I had a pat answer -- she wouldn't let anyone into the house. But upon reading the thoughts of others in my situation, I've realized I could have hired a cleaner to keep my own house decent, then asked mom to pay me back for that cost.
Be creative in trading services and cutting costs. If you're still working while caring for a parent, don't be shy about asking for help to do the things you can't do. Many friends, neighbors, and family members are more than happy to help most of the time; often they just don't know what to do. Let others pick up your kids from school, grab milk and bread from the grocery store for you, mow your lawn while they're mowing theirs. If you've quit your job to care for family members, then chances are you have more time than money. So save receipts and ask your parents to reimburse you for gas and expenses, like JJcares, and learn to get utility discounts and save with coupons, from By God's Grace.
Share your good ideas here.
forward all the mail to your mom at the nursing home. My Dad passed away and was tired of receiving 'gimme money' mail with his name on it. She put on the envolpes "return to sender, addressee now resides at *****" the address she indicated was the location of my dad's cemetary and his plot number... amazing how quickly this resolved the problem.
Well if this was a perfect world than maybe we as caregiver would have help with taking care of your love ones but it is not. I am the oldest of six and I have been caring for my dad for almost seven years. Not even a vacation. You can not make grown people do anything so I have told myself it i what it is and i take care of my dad because I am all he has.
OMG!!! This didn't even answer the question!!! The question is, how do I keep my job, health insurance, income, house, sanity!!! Clip coupons and get utility discounts. Honestly. This is a serious question, not one that deserves half-brained suggestions like these. My husband was the one that was ill, so I am the only income. What I had to do was just work as much and as hard as I could when I was able and pray that my boss didn't get tired of it and let me go. I was lucky in that I have teenagers that could stay with him several hours a day while I worked. There really isn't much help for us, I have found, so even having gone through it, I have no suggestion other than hard work, and prayer.
give them the phone number to the nursing home and place your # on the do not call list.
This article was not helpful - and worse, implies that it contains some information that caregivers can use. Especially irksome was the line about a reply to Meigsters question being a helpful answer....drum roll please! After going to that link the "helpful" info was to check with your state because *some states let you be PCA*. DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH!!! WHen will editors and writers realize that most caregivers have spent so much time looking for info, unless it is something real please don't pull our chains and get our hopes up. Saving receipts and asking grandma to help with the bills is not helpful..,....recognizing that care for an elder family member is costly, takes time, and impacts your finances is helpful. No more articles like this please. We deserve better as caregivers, please respect our time when writing do nothing articles like this
Ihave taken care of our mother(3 other siblings--no financial help and very little otherwise) for 10 yrs. She had credit card debt when Itook over. I had been paying minimum until I recently had to put her in assisted living which they take all of her income. My name is not on her cards. Ido have power of attorney but am having trouble paying my own expenses. What needs to be done? I tell the creditors she is in a nursing home but they keep calling. Any suggestions?