Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

Riannan — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 00:04:42 -0000

Howcoolrutoday, I am so sorry for your loss. A lot of what happened with your father is happening to our mother, who will be ninety this March. Twelve years ago, somebody in the family decided how great it would be to buy a 3-flat building where we could all live. So we all sold our condominiums, and bought a nice property with lots of space. I think maybe, no I'm certain that God knew what would be happening and arranged that we were there when the dementia took hold. My brother is sixty-three and took an early retirement to be her principal caretaker. He has her power of attorney, cooks most of their meals or they order out. Our mother's personality has changed and not for the better. She constantly picks fights with us, is uncooperative and then, there's the memory thing which gets worse every year. That alone has taken a toll on both my brother, his daughter and me. I tried a few times to explain that she has Alzheimer's, but she is in total denial. She becomes defensive and puts it on the fact that she's old, and thinks we're trying to take advantage of her. She will never realize that she's not in a nursing facility because we want to keep her in her home, and that's where she wants to be as well. Ever since she was diagnosed, I have been trying to prepare myself for life without her. But it's difficult; she's all I have. I have to say that so much is said and done about diseases like cancer, which many people have been cured of. There is no cure, no absolute prevention of Alzheimer's Disease. Why is that? Why is it taking the whiz kids in research so long? This disease is the most insidious thing on this earth. It's increasing too; everyone I know has a relative with it. Supposedly my brother and I have a chance of getting it too. If that's the case, I don't want to be old.

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

Anonymous — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 09:01:09 -0000

Amazing the amount of money these people make, profiting from others suffering. U.S.A., only industralized country in the WORLD without National Health Care.

Comment on Red Wine -- Or Resveratrol Pills -- May Prevent Cancer Says Strong New Research

JACKIEO33 — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 17:28:56 -0000

IS A DRY RED FRENCH LIKE BOJALUS OR SWEET WINES BEST FOR THE FIGHT AGAINST CANCER

Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

truckyone — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 00:13:30 -0000

iave just gone 63yrs of age,and without my regular yearly psa test, i would not have known i,ad prostate cancer.the gleeson reading was between 5-7. iam happy to find it early,and now been treatedwith radiology plus, alternative treatments/bloodroot capsules and otherlife style changes.

Comment on Cancer Patients Who Get Palliative Care Suffer Less, Study Shows

Milchoc — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 20:47:14 -0000

Although she is breathing on her own, she isn't talking, or actively responding. She is actively dying. but she is not suffering. Thanks to the comfort care(Palliative Care) of the hospital, she will not be uncomfortable nor in any pain.

Comment on Cancer Patients Who Get Palliative Care Suffer Less, Study Shows

Milchoc — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 20:42:14 -0000

I agree with the Palliative care. My mom isn't suffering now, she's quite comfortable. We/She just recently found out (on a trip to emergency room for pain and thought she could get pain killers and go home) and definitely wasn't ready for. But who is right?. This being the day after her specialist told her she didn't have cancer. She walked into the hospital and was put on a ventilator the next day. She was on the ventilator for 3 weeks and now she's breathing on her own. The palliative care nurses were very compassionate,honest and just caring. They've been very good with helping my family cope with the surprise of stage 4 cancer. I believe strongly in Palliative Care and i would recommend that to anyone going thru this.

Comment on Beat the Holiday Blues With These 5 Stress-Busting Strategies

nella — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 01:47:36 -0000

I was my grandmother's caregiver for a year and loved every second I had with her. She was my "unconditional love" person from the day I was born. Our world blew up in Feb.2010, I found out I had some cancer, my daughter was in a serious car accident, and the first night I was not with Grandma overnight, she fell! She laid on the cold floor in her waste and luckily, was a volunteer at the Sr. Center scheduled to serve the "old people" (she was a young 94) lunch. Phone calls were made, people went to the house, finally police broke the door in-rushed her to the hospital and the family gathered to say good bye. She died on March 29-hung on until she saw her first "robin" (her nickname for me-besides the first bird of spring) and fell asleep that night. I planned the funeral with the pastor (she has 5 children-all alive and capable-including my former mother), got together the pictures, the writings, the "lunch", and was so busy, I didn't realize what was happening around me. My uncle-the POA (one of 3) bled her accts dry and then turned around and blamed it on me! I was evicted from the house I was supposed to be able to live in until I didn't want to and then it would go up for sale, the police came to the door ready to arrest me for "stealing her car"-it was in the garage, was banned from Easter, even though I already had 15 baskets ready, with Grandma's help and blessing for the great-grandchildren, then my saintly mother told me "the family doesn't want you anymore". It was burying my grandma, and then burying 52 people within 2 days. I am having such a hard time sleeping, eating, being happy, concentrating-yes, I am working with someone on depression - but this was our time! The rituals began my first Christmas, 54 years ago. It will be my first one without the lefse and other recipes from "Ma and Pa. I have lived with her the past 2 Christmases, so reading things like your blog keeps me focused and on track. Thanks!

Comment on The #1 Medication Mistake People Make in Cold/Flu Season

Herbgal — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 22:39:37 -0000

This is timely information! I teach folks to use herbal medicine to prevent getting colds & flu, and have great results. There are occasions, though, when people do turn to drugs to alleviate symptoms. This information is important! Thanks ! Carol ~ www.studiobotanica.com

Comment on The #1 Medication Mistake People Make in Cold/Flu Season

Herbgal — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 22:37:18 -0000

This is great information and I bet it's often missed! I try to teach folks about the benefits of herbal medicine & the ways that they can use herbs to prevent colds & flu to start with. Often, though, people do turn to drugs for symptom relief and, with this info, will make better choices! Carol www.studiobotanica.com

Comment on 5 Bills You Can Lower With a Phone Call

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Comment on High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, Diabetes -- and Cancer?

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Comment on Retirement Shock: How to Get Back on Track When Your Savings Are a Shambles

Markus Winchester — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 05:32:39 -0000

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Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

raymondo — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 23:21:13 -0000

I really would like to answer yes and no but only one reply can be accepted. Yes because I think the 5 busters will give an immediate relief but only momentary. Hence I would call them "tensionbusters" ie providing some relief from the gripping feelings in the stomach when you are under stress. And no, because something bigger is required to "stressbust" and obtain more than just this fleeting relief - play an electronic game; read 3 chapters; 20 minutes exercise; listen to a relaxation cd; do some cooking etc

Comment on For Cancer Patients, The Right Clinical Trial Can Be the Secret To Survival

dwr-immunol. — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 20:23:29 -0000

There is a new site just available for Lucanix lung cancer vaccine, (NSCLC), in Asheville , NC at the Allergy Immunology Research Center; Allergy Partners, 828-254-5366.

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

rmlddotnet — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 05:48:07 -0000

many seniors are now turing to a reverse mortgage as way to pay for medical expenses http://www.reversemortgagelendersdirect.com/reverse-mortgage-information/

Comment on How to Find a Doctor Who Listens - and Cares

Anonymous — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 07:31:03 -0000

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Comment on 10 Little-Known Signs of Lung Cancer (Would You Guess a Change in Mood?)

beatbreastcancer — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 12:02:18 -0000

This doesn't surprise me. My father was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer that had spread to his liver and bones in 1983--one month later he was dead. For a number of years before this, he had become moody and rude, even calling my mother names (which he had NEVER done before). We had no idea what was going on, until that December when he was diagnosed. He had smoked like a chimney all his life, but rarely even got a cold. Previously, he had gone to his doctor complaining of bloody phlegm, and was told it was a calcium deposit in his lung and not to worry about it. When he died, it was just a week after his 59th birthday--he didn't get to see his first grandchild, or any of his grandchildren, I didn't have him to walk me down the aisle when I got married, and his verbal abuse of my mom (due to the cancer, I'm sure) created lots of tension in the family, and hurt her badly. Doctors need to pay attention to this study; especially with men, ESPECIALLY with older men, who are much less likely to tell their doctors that they are experiencing emotional problems. Thanks so much, Caring.com, for bringing this very important study to the public's attention.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

habib — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:28:26 -0000

Hello, Thank you four nice writing. It will help me for my research on prescription medications. Thanks.

Comment on Cancer and Dementia Together -- a Deadly Situation

Anonymous — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 03:02:45 -0000

I feel your pain. my mom has mod to severe dementia and stage 4 colon cancer. She won't eat hardly anything. She has fallen 3 times in the last week. She can't stand on her own. She can;t tell us what hurts and how she feels. It breaks our hearts. She had teh right side of her colon removed but the cancer in in 7 lymph nodes. She couldn't tollorate the cemo. We have hospice and they are a big help. I just want to make heer comfortable and as happy as possible for the time she has left' We lost dad 2 years ago as well. I just wish she could tell us what she needs and wants. It.'s sooo hard. praying for peace and comfort.

Comment on Cancer and Dementia Together -- a Deadly Situation

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Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

AURORARojas27 — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 14:01:22 -0000

One understands that today's life is expensive, nevertheless people need cash for different stuff and not every man gets enough cash. Hence to get some personal loans or bank loan would be a proper way out.

Comment on Ladies, Is a Grouchy Patient with Cancer or Another Illness Making You Miserable?

AURORARojas27 — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 11:57:16 -0000

Lots of specialists say that personal loans aid a lot of people to live the way they want, just because they are able to feel free to buy necessary goods. Moreover, a lot of banks offer financial loan for different classes of people.

Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

Anonymous — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 19:26:15 -0000

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Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

sania89 — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 11:17:34 -0000

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Comment on Caring for an Alcoholic Parent: A Special Challenge

Anonymous — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 22:14:46 -0000

I just found this article and this forum. I'm currently dealing with this. My mother is an alcoholic, currently sober (I think) plus she's partially disabled. She needs me to help her with certain things, but she abuses my help. She's one of those "emotional vampires". Those super needy people who take and take and take? She doesn't need a caretaker, so therefore she doesn't qualify for assisted living or even an in home nurse (my husband and I cannot afford to pay for either). But every month so far that she's lived by us she's spent her money on alcoholc and taking a cab to the drug store to buy it (because she can't walk to the corner...or so she says). She's running me ragged, and is abusing my generosity. When she runs out of money to buy her dog food, she comes to me. She no longers asks me for the money. I have to draw the line at some things. Such as refusing to take her to the store and even threatening to leave her at the store if she bought alcohol (beer). But I can't let her dog starve, and she knows this. So she uses it against me, manipulates me in order ot get me to do things she can and should be doing herself (like taking her trash out). If she doesn’t need something, she doesn’t want anything to do with me. She never comes to my house. Never calls just to say hello. Only when she needs something. Like toilet paper and dog food because she's run out of money (she makes more htan enough on SSI). When I refuse to give in to her demands (she doesn’t even ask anymore, she just says, “give me this” or “take me here”), she plays the disabled card in an attempt to manipulate me and then gets angry. that article--what getting mad at your parent reveals about you--I needed to hear that. Thanks for posting it. And yeah. My mother didn't take care of me either growing up. She checked out and her boyfriend abused me. I'm at the point where I want desperately to walk away from her. But I feel guilty even thinking about it. because she's partially disabled. and she uses it against me.

Comment on How to Get Siblings to Help Pay for a Parent's Care

lifesaver — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 20:51:03 -0000

my life took a turn for the worse when my husband was found dead at work ...blunt forced injuries to the head .... shortly after that my mom got sick seeing i was alone my family thought it would be good for me to move in with mom and i also agreed . My mother had copd and was under doctors care for that well one nite she was having pains in chest er is where we went and was asked by er doctor how long my mom had cancer we looked at each other in awe....well she did have stage 4 sm cell lung cancer i did all i could do and then some cognitive thinking good diet water and detox and some herbs before chemo /radiation,she survived that but then had tia. Now mind you we were getting by well with monies i had my job and she sm. cleaning biz we never asked my other siblings for help . things got worse for her had to stop working and went to work for her money was getting thin . yrs passed and we now hit rock bottom and do you know that not a one of them even pays for a bill nor do they come see her. they have me as the bad guy. they refuse to help in any way the oldest said the only way she will help is to send my mom back east to live with her....oh come on they all have awesome paying jobs and there is no reason why they should be so greedy . they think they would be paying my way ..... thats not what i am asking i am just needing them to help their momshe does have five kids not one..... well we lost our car repo we are now facing eviction and i am up against a brick wall . did i tell you that i suffer from ptsd bipolar and personality disorder.... i am under close eye of my doctors and support team ....but i need my family to step up and pitch in....god bless them

Comment on How to Get Siblings to Help Pay for a Parent's Care

CA-Claire — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 18:13:41 -0000

As the family's designated caregiver, I guess that I am pretty lucky. The two oldest children live 5 or 6 hours drive away, #3 child lives 45 minutes away, and I am 15 minutes away. Most of the time, things work very well. When it comes to family get-togethers is where we have our diagreements, so I consider us very lucky. Plus our parent's have enough resources to take care of themselves until they pass (they're 90 and both have AD, Dad is in congestive heart failure and more than half his stomach is in his chest cavity - 14+cm hiatal hernia). I feel for those that are struggling for resources, or that are fighting about 'things' that their loved ones have. For those that are the caregivers, at least we understand that it's the person that's important, not the 'things'.

Comment on An Aspirin a Day Keeps Colon Cancer at Bay

linda sharpe — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 14:26:32 -0000

I find the hardest thing to cope with is the constant "where is Linda?" that is me and I will say I am here and touch her and yet I am not the right Linda in her eyes. When she answers the phone she tells people I am not here and so it is yelling at her not to say that and so the person can here and won't hang up. I want her to be able to do some of these tasks, fortunately this indiividual knew the situation and waited for me to get to the phone.

Comment on Wish Your Time Spent Caring for Older Family Members Could Be Paid? Maybe It Can

rosie_54nc — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 12:05:26 -0000

Wow a great idea, but i see they don't have it in in North Carolina.

Comment on Wish Your Time Spent Caring for Older Family Members Could Be Paid? Maybe It Can

rosie_54nc — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 12:03:34 -0000

Wow, a great idea.

Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

CalgarySandy — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 18:46:26 -0000

It provided information that may be of importance to me in a straight forward manner.

Comment on When a Call to Hospice Is a Gift to the Caregiver

Anonymous — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 12:43:24 -0000

Hospice care if the west was forced upon us by the hospital. Neither I or the patient wanted it. They totally disregarded the patient's wishes on pain control. the some if the nurses were rude and arrogant. the patient was alert, was quickly drugged to a stupor with a dose higher then was ordered. Pt out for day and 1/2. came out if it demanding not to be given pain medicine. They denied her further care. Her care needs were physical. Jr was like pulling teeth to get wound care supplies. They returned only to drugged the patient to death. I wish I had never had then step foot in the house.

Comment on How to Get Siblings to Help Pay for a Parent's Care

cyberdeck — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 23:07:15 -0000

What do you do when your siblings, all fairly successful in their careers, don't care? I came back to the state my family lives in, to discover that our mother had major memory issues and was neglecting her well being. I thoughtlessly went to my siblings and asked for help getting her to a doctor to find out what was happening to her. My siblings literally laughed in my face and acknowledged that they were aware of her state and were waiting for her to die. They made jokes about how she would die. That was the start of a year and a half battle to get help for my mother. Things I learned, the police, fire, paramedics and health care workers, among others, are legally required to report abuse and neglect even self abuse and self neglect. They are not subject to any kind of prosecution if they are mistaken, so there is absolutely no risk to them to do so. My mother lives in a town where I asked almost every policeman and paramedic for help for my mother and they all played dumb. (My mother had taken to calling 911 and wasting the towns time). The police and firemen had no problem denigrating and demeaning me, but help was not something they would provide. The way I ended up getting help was that the town got sick of my mother irritating them and sent out their elder abuse officer. Her solution was that she was going to condemn my mothers house and have her kicked out of the town. A real threat that did nothing to move my siblings. They were fine with it. After a few months, the officer came up with her next idea and that was that she threatened to prosecute all of my mothers children for abuse and neglect. That actually worked. The threat of publicizing their abuse was too much for my siblings and the day after getting this news, two of my siblings showed up and escorted my mother to the hospital. From there started the infighting over my mothers fairly small amount of liquid assets and cash on hand. In the hospital, on the day they took her in, while awaiting the psych evaluation, they were fighting in the halls about the cash in her wallet. Ironic when you consider that none of them are really short on cash. Thankfully because I was the object of their wrath for not leaving our mother to die, I stayed out of that one. So, how is it that I am to get these animals to contribute anything???

Comment on Cancer and Dementia Together -- a Deadly Situation

judyfarmer — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 20:13:34 -0000

My mother was recently diagnosed with probably lung cancer. Has two masses - one is 2.2 cm. The doctor says because of the size she doesn't know what else it could be. We are not going to put her through a biopsy because she couldn't take chemotherapy or radiation. She is 90 years old. Her dementia is terrible. The doctor says the lung problem is making the dementia worse. Has anyone heard of this. We have her at home and my husband has had to pick her up out of the floor three times today. All morning she was trying to get out the door to go home. So sad.

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

kilmatead — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 11:29:01 -0000

just reminding myself to stop and have a me moment x

Comment on Save Money -- And Strengthen Family Ties -- With A Multi-Generation Vacation

Linda (Sunstar) WA State — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 15:28:41 -0000

When our daughters were 7 and 9 we rented a motor home for a month and took my parents to Michigan so my Dad could visit his sister and her family, plus many other relatives and lifelong friends of theirs along the way between WA and MI. My father was disabled by a stroke and early dementia and it was the last time he saw his relatives. 27 years later, our daughters still talk about the trip and the great time they had with their grandparents. My folks helped share expenses and it cost us all less than $100 a day. (Of course gas was much cheaper in 1984!) We made several shorter camping trips with them, too, letting them sleep in our small trailer while we slept in our tent.

Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

bellaw — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 09:46:21 -0000

its true I had two of the above mentioned precautions after a hysterectomy but not the heparin. I had a pulmonary embolism at age 46 after surgery and luckily survived.

Comment on Save Money -- And Strengthen Family Ties -- With A Multi-Generation Vacation

The Caregiver's Voice — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 15:59:06 -0000

I agree! I've been saying this since the economy has gone badly for so many. This will help us return to three or more generation families as we were only a generation or two ago. There are many advantages to this as Melanie shares in her article--like Grandma looking after the kids while Mom and Dad have alone time...or Grandma and Grandpa being close to a loving caring family while helping share expenses. We've grown too far apart and it may be time for us to learn how to come back together.

Comment on Frugal Living Wins Many New Fans

klcanddaughter — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 07:31:15 -0000

I buy chicken thighs in bulk and clean them and freeze them,I also buy frozen vegs.when I can get them for about $1. a bag. I also have a little garden growing in the back yard .I try to buy frozen fish when it is on sale and keep it in zip lock bags in portions for dinner.

Comment on 10 Early Signs of Prostate Cancer That Often Go Unnoticed

tony avalos — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 18:22:09 -0000

I 'll pray for all the people whom are geting hopeless, ion any sense, please never give up on medical advise, for i knoe i have been there many time's before , on the other side. I love th e health care people. they are very special people!

Comment on 10 Early Signs of Prostate Cancer That Often Go Unnoticed

tony avalos — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 18:17:20 -0000

Thank you for such detail on health, i wanted to get into this field, i have a big concern for healty, as well as the sick, or, special people of any age or race, ! i t hink that awareness, and education, is the way tpo salvation, and freedom of any desease, mind or body. Thank you for all the love.

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

Anonymous — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 17:33:27 -0000

Just re-enforced my gut feeling, thanks

Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

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Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

m320753 — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 23:52:54 -0000

i've found out that get a store discount card, i use wellness from rite-aid and a prescription discount card that are always being mailed out to the public.using these 2 cards saved me $80 for a prescription that united health care wanted $120 for. it was a 1 time prescription , but still saving $80 with 2 cards that didn't cost a penny put a smile on my face. i also had to have my teeth pulled due to gingivitus from my COPD meds and was sent by an area association on aging. i went to a free senior health clinic, saw a dentist who said yep the agency should pay for all your work as this was a direct result of the meds. no problem we'll take care of it turned out to cost me $4,000 almost 60% of the total bill. plus i refused some treatment from the dentist they sent me to and had my teeth pulled elsewhere saving the agency over 2 grand. guess what ? they took the savings off their end of the bill. so be warned that everything these local agencies on aging promise you is sometimes not as free as you think. sorry for venting but it still gets me angry

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

marcromero — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 20:21:24 -0000

Great information! I also found a site where you can print a free card that you can use to save up to 75% on prescription medications. This card is good at over 54,000 pharmacies nation wide. here is the link http://www.freerxplus.com/FRP00442/en/PrintFreeCard.html

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

marcromero — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 20:18:42 -0000

Thats really good info, I also found a site where you can print a free card and use it to save up to 75% on you medications. Good at over 54,000 pharmacies nation wide. you can print it here http://www.freerxplus.com/FRP00442/en/PrintFreeCard.html

Comment on Cancer and Dementia Together -- a Deadly Situation

Anonymous — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 21:00:54 -0000

It is illogical and unkind to force treatment on someone that has a poor quality of life. Death should be accepted as part of life and the remaining time should offering comfort and love. Families should visit, see old friends, make arragements for death. Treatment is painful, confusing and expensive. Death in our 70sand 80s should be expected. Just because we can prevent death does not mean we should.

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

theboysnan — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 23:46:12 -0000

We've just found an invaluable Geriatric Psychiatrist (specializing in Memory Disorders) who provided time and gentle questioning and testing of my husband. His medication dosage has been adjusted, and a second appointment scheduled - with instructions to e-mail or call with any concerns or questions! I was astounded at the extent of my husband's loss. I found that he cannot easily come up with the name of the town we live in, do simple math, or even tell time accurately. He could not add the correct numbers to the drawn face of a clock, remember the current day, month or year. Yet he came away from this visit feeling elated at the support he felt...as did I! Not feeling SO alone did it! As a caregiver, this was the single most supported

Comment on One Cheap, All-In-One Pill Could Cut Heart Disease Risk in Half

tasbury — Thu, 26 May 2011 14:30:16 -0000

"They would have a heck of a time making me take this cocktail! I don't plan to ever take a statin, unless I've already had a heart attack, and my blood pressure is fine, as is my blood sugar. I do not trust big pharma, and don't plan to take their noxious "cocktails". I'm 67 and I approve this message. " You're and idiot and neeed looking after. This is the best thing to come along since sliced bread. Us Veterans that were exposed to Agent Orange and are now dying from heart failure will rejoice and be glad to be part of the researxh.

Comment on How to Find a Doctor Who Listens - and Cares

GregMiller — Tue, 24 May 2011 23:21:01 -0000

Great subject. My mother had emphysema and would not leave her doctor of 20+ years even though I could see she would not survive under his care. My brother actually found a DO (Osteopath) who was very unlike the MDs who seemed arrogant. This guy listened and spent more time in one visit with my mom than my mother's trusted doctor had in over a year. Dr. Coleman in Ormond Beach, FL is truly a gift from God! After seeing Dr. Coleman my mother had no problem when we did not return to the old doctor.

Comment on Caring for an Alcoholic Parent: A Special Challenge

Anonymous — Wed, 18 May 2011 12:48:37 -0000

I had to leave a good job and friends, a home I built for myself, behind to care for an old alcoholic parent. These days I hate where I live and everyday I am secretly seething that I have to be here. But I know if I hadn't moved the guilt at not doing anything would have eaten me.. it's a catch 22 though because leaving my friends and career behind - all that I had made for myself in 10 years - has ruined me. It's like being in my Mom's prison.. just a long term waiting room with very little, if no, joy. And here I sit on watching as she carries on drinking.. it's the worst thing a parent can do.

Comment on "Chemo Brain" Can Be a Serious Concern for Cancer Patients

drewbador — Fri, 06 May 2011 19:11:44 -0000

I miraculously stumbled on this site this morning during my regular news search and thank God for putting it in my line of site. I now feel so much better and justified that so many others share my exact symptoms of chemo therapy. I have nothing additional to offer except my sincere thanks to all before me who have shared here and my promise to check in regularly and share anything I can that is different from what I have read. How happy to know that brain fog is real and I am not losing it; that two naps a day and a full night's sleep is "normal" for many of us; that being unable to stay awake for more than 4 hours at a time is also normal for some of us. At least I can still type and share that I love each and every one of you. Bless you all for your input and support!

Comment on Don't Have Health Insurance? Here's How to Get Health Care Anyway

wheelchairwolf — Thu, 05 May 2011 17:38:54 -0000

The article about not having Health Insurance there was a lot i didn't know My wife just suffered A Massive Stroke back in 2/3/11 and because we didn't have ins. we we're turned away for help on her speech theraphy and we have filed for medicade and S.S.I. and well that takes time it took a long time to get mine and i have a Bullet on my spine another story there But! This is about My Wife We Need all the help we can get so yes I'm very Honored to Rate This Article a 100%+

Comment on Don't Have Health Insurance? Here's How to Get Health Care Anyway

ash4456 — Wed, 04 May 2011 04:19:48 -0000

Good suggestions but they don't work well for a caregiver. I have not been to a doctor since my husband's stroke almost 3 years ago. Who will stay with him while I sit for an hour in the waiting room? (actually I did go one time. It cost me $32 for a nurse and I had to leave without seeing the doctor because the wait was so long.) If I get some time off I am sure not spending hours of my precious time in a doctor's waiting room. And I can't afford any treatment or procedure that will make me feel too unwell to change diapers, get food, lift and turn my husband -- so forget the colonoscopy, surgery major or minor, chemo if needed -- completely out of the question. So why bother going at all? Any suggestions for the caregivers? I just hope for the best.

Comment on Why You Should Worry When Your Parents Mention the Word Annuity

just me.... — Tue, 03 May 2011 17:20:17 -0000

What a ridiculously one-sided article. Annuities are absolutely appropriate for some seniors, and absolutely not for others. Your article shows extreme bias.

Comment on Don't Have Health Insurance? Here's How to Get Health Care Anyway

nicpheadair — Mon, 02 May 2011 08:21:39 -0000

can an employee bring in four dogs which run around and are on desk at an assisted living facility. This person also brings in a parrot but it is caged and in a back room.

Comment on When Mother's Day Means Grief, Not Joy

Dorothy's Daughter — Sun, 01 May 2011 20:35:27 -0000

My mom died of vascular dementia 12/21/10, I am not looking forward to "the" day. All the advertisements, etc, just reduce me to tears. Mother's Day is definitely a day of grieving for me now. While my mom was not an alcoholic, my dad was, he died in 1985 at the early age of 59. I can understand exactly what Melanie addresses, a realtionship with an alcoholic parent is very strained. My way of explaining it is I loved my dad, but I really hated the disease of alcoholism and how it made him behave. I think part of it was PTSD from being active duty WWII. ( they did not know about this back then) My dad had such a big heart and full of love, but when the alcohol took over, he was a stranger, a horrible stranger. Having a parent who suffered from alcoholism, leaves you feeling cheated. But, on the other hand, taking care of my mom and watching her decline with the dementia, and being with her as she died, and she is no longer here.....I remain feeling cheated. It is all so sad.

Comment on When Mother's Day Means Grief, Not Joy

marinparent — Sun, 01 May 2011 16:15:40 -0000

Very heartfelt and honest article. Thank you.

Comment on Caring for an Alcoholic Parent: A Special Challenge

Emily M. — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 22:26:00 -0000

Hi Deelu, Thank you very much for sharing with the community. I'm very sorry to hear about your situation, that must be extremely difficult. You may find this article on caregiver anger useful: (http://www.caring.com/blogs/self-caring/what-getting-mad-at-your-loved-one-says-about-you). You may also find this article particularly useful: (http://www.caring.com/articles/caregiving-and-anger). I hope those resources help. Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on Caring for an Alcoholic Parent: A Special Challenge

Deelu — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 00:07:32 -0000

My dad has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember, but now he's older, has diabetes and is malnourished it's so much worse. I moved out from my parents house last year as I just couldn't cope with him. My mum is amazing and tries to look after him, but it's really hard for her as she works full time too. My brother lives at home, but he drinks and smokes and I'm afraid he'll end up the same as my dad if he doesn't cop himself on. I'm just visiting them tonight, and I havent seen them for a couple of weeks. My dad is so thin and can hardly stand, we have to walk behind him up the stairs in case he falls. The last time I was here he went to wee in the garden. I love my dad but I am so resentful of how much our lives have been dictated by his condition and how he feels. I feel guilty if I get angry, and feel the most awe-consuming sadness when I'm with him or I think about him. I wish I was numb. He's a good man, but it's like he can't deal with life so he numbs it. I'm so angry that we don't get the same choice. My mum is the strongest woman I know, but I also have moments of resenting her for staying with him, then I feel guilty for that. I realise this sounds self-absorbed, but I just feel angry all the time or sad all the time and I don't now what to do with it.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

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Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:47:10 -0000

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:47:06 -0000

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:46:18 -0000

Comment on How to Get Real, Practical Help From Your Doctor When You Need It

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:44:31 -0000

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:44:09 -0000

Comment on How to Get Real, Practical Help From Your Doctor When You Need It

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:43:46 -0000

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:43:42 -0000

Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:43:39 -0000

Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:43:35 -0000

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:43:31 -0000

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

kxka — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:43:27 -0000

Comment on How to Get Real, Practical Help From Your Doctor When You Need It

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Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

nbna — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:48:35 -0000

Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

nbna — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:47:21 -0000

Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

nbna — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:45:42 -0000

Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

nbna — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:44:43 -0000

Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

nbna — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:44:01 -0000

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

nbna — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:43:16 -0000

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

nbna — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 13:43:03 -0000

Comment on After a Stroke: What to Expect When Life Turns Upside Down

Anonymous — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 16:48:28 -0000

Interesting info on vitamin b3 and Niacin. I had not seen that before. It would have been more helpful if there was confirmation from a trusted organization like the Mayo clinic or a stroke association, that Niacin would help. Just referring to a study on rats and a recommendation by your personal doctor does not convince me that I should run out and buy this.

Comment on After a Stroke: What to Expect When Life Turns Upside Down

oc1dean — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 14:13:42 -0000

There are many more studies showing substances that might be helpful during the acute phase but they have not gone thru any trials yet. Here is a list; nicotine; marijuana; magnesium; viagara; nitric oxide; anti-depressants tgf alpha; lobster shells; tumeric; niacin; caffeinol; xenon gas; drug that activated the sigma-1 receptor; Docosahexaenoic acid (DHA), a component of fish oil Don't self-medicate, these are just hinted at in studies and some are still just tested in rats.

Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

poco tinto — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 11:40:07 -0000

sleeping on side

Comment on How to Get Real, Practical Help From Your Doctor When You Need It

devinskitcat@aol.com — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 04:54:10 -0000

Hi, I know how you feel I take meds and medicare does not pay for them so i have to choose from my one day meal or meds and I am so hurgey I bug crackers and milk because I get from ss only 407.00 amonth and most of the time in the winter it gets very cold in my house but stay under blankets to keep warm ! I am only sixty years old and I need my bloodpress meds and i have so much pain in my fingers and back but live with it! I get up in the morning and turn on HOT water and put my fingers over it to beable to move them because my doctor stopped giving me my meds for artherta !

Comment on How to Get Real, Practical Help From Your Doctor When You Need It

Anonymous — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 04:44:39 -0000

Dear I know how you feel I am having so much pain and the doctors will tell me I should she this doctor or they feel i should get diffent meds which cost so muc or my medicare will not pay ! I only get 400.00 a month for ss and it is so hard to live! I go with out my meals ! I each onces a day and thank the lord for milk and crackers ! God Bless you dear !

Comment on Is TDM-1 a Miracle Drug for Advanced Breast Cancer?

T-DM1 from Cleveland — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 15:40:23 -0000

I too have HER2+ beast cancer that met. to my liver, for 4 years. I went through all of the treatments, carbo, taxotere,taxol, herceptin and others that I can not remember. Cyber knife surgery with radiation, liver surgeries, I have been through everything. I am now taking the T-DM1 drug, I have to travel to get it. The stress this puts on a stage 4 patient and their families, to me is very un-necessary. If you qualify, you should be able to get the drug through your doctor, at home, where you are comfortable, your doctor can follow guidelines and report any issues. It really saddeneds me to have to put my family through this in the first place, now this added stress. I wish drug companies would really reconsider how trials are run. Without us, they would not have any trials. This drug has been in trails for 13yrs. I saw the news reel with Phil and Lorraine from Boston, she is 100% correct. It is very stressful. I am very happy that she has grandchildren and is here to enjoy and love them. We are waiting to meet our first grandchild in June 2011. Hopefully with T-DM1, I will meet mine.

Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

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Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

voguee — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 18:06:59 -0000

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

voguee — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 18:06:57 -0000

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

voguee — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 18:05:28 -0000

Comment on How to Get Real, Practical Help From Your Doctor When You Need It

voguee — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 18:04:22 -0000

Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

voguee — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:59:34 -0000

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

voguee — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:59:30 -0000

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

voguee — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:46:59 -0000

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

voguee — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:44:20 -0000

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

voguee — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:43:39 -0000

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

voguee — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:42:33 -0000

Comment on How to Get Real, Practical Help From Your Doctor When You Need It

voguee — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:42:07 -0000

Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

Mr. B. — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 14:18:50 -0000

I have this problem, often waking at night, gasping for breath, coughing almost unable to catch my breath. This is a warning sign. Consult with your doctor. Pay attention. You heard of SIDS, well this is SADS. And your loved ones will truly be SAD if you don't attend to it NOW!

Comment on When a Call to Hospice Is a Gift to the Caregiver

DorisJ — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 20:41:40 -0000

to Anonymous: thank you for your sense of humor! I can sure use it now, as I am, one of those 24/7 spousal caregivers. My husband of almost 57 years has COPD and it is in last stage now. The doctors have said that, but 2 years ago! It is a very slow, excruciating disease because, as American Lung Assoc. says "If you can't breathe, nothing else matters!" I have been inquiring into Hospice and have encouraging reports, but my husband is a fighter. He will not ever want to agree to it, until he is nearly gone. I hope this doesn't sound like I am trying to rush things (no one can anyway). I love him dearly and have a dread of what is ahead. But I don't want him to suffer more, and Hospice might be able to help.

Comment on Why You Should Worry When Your Parents Mention the Word Annuity

Anonymous — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 22:31:18 -0000

No consumer should ever have to sue a company to protect or to recover rights that have been stolen fraudulently, adding insult to injury. The purpose of having government and enforcement is to protect those rights, not to run interference for the would be thieves, or to enable them to rip off consumers by using state inaction when it should be present as a part of its oversight of companies registered under it. who operate only by consent of the state.

Comment on 10 Early Signs of Prostate Cancer That Often Go Unnoticed

Emily M. — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:35:28 -0000

Hi Williampaulwest, Thank you very much for your question. Unfortunately, we are unable to diagnose medical problems for our site members. We suggest that you contact your doctor right away regarding your medical issue. We hope our informational site will be of help for you in the future. -- Emily | Community Manager

Comment on 10 Early Signs of Prostate Cancer That Often Go Unnoticed

Williampaulwest — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:21:36 -0000

RECENTLY I NOTICED MY SPERM HAD TURNED DARK AND THIN. IS THIS NORMAL?

Comment on Depression, Women, and Menopause -- a Hot Topic We Need to Talk About

The Caregiver's Voice — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 20:21:26 -0000

Add to this the risk of depression due to caregiving and there will be many caregivers who will need greater knowledge and tender loving support to get through this period.

Comment on Depression, Women, and Menopause -- a Hot Topic We Need to Talk About

tater — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 18:00:44 -0000

Please add to the list of issues that cause depression during menopause THE issue that causes me to most angst, loss of sleep, and worsens my health. It is: being in the "sandwich generation, caring for elderly parents who have many crises. They are not appreciative of my help because it's never enough, no matter that I have made their care my priority and have given up so much of my life to see to their needs. I am becoming resentful, and now I don't like myself. There are no clear solutions, and sometimes there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Comment on Depression, Women, and Menopause -- a Hot Topic We Need to Talk About

DianaT — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 14:36:19 -0000

I am 58 years old and have experienced menopause and the depression that goes with it. What I found that REALLY helps, I can't emphasize how much it helps is to eat right, exercise, stay away from junk food, get sunshine and enough Vitamin D. I make sure I get 8 servings of fruits and vegetables, eat lean meats and 3 servings of dairy. I can't tell you what a difference it has made since I gave up sugar, alcohol and refined carbohydrates. I sleep better. I feel better. I have more energy. I feel like me instead of a zombie that wants to stay inside and feel grumpy all day. Eating right has cured my lifetime problem with constipation too and I am slowly loosing weight, about 2 pounds a month. If I am tempted with cookies, or crackers or bread and butter I remind myself that I will feel bad if I eat it and how much better I will feel if I have a fruit snack instead. I'm not perfect, but I eat healthy at least 80% of the time and it has made a TREMENDOUS difference because now I feel like exercising and I feel younger. Don't expect perfection, just work towards changing small things to live a healthier lifestyle.

Comment on Paying for Cancer Care: What to Do When Insurance Says No

Emily M. — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 19:32:45 -0000

Hi 65522, Thank you for your question. Sorry to hear about your friend's father, that sounds like a really rough situation. One place you may be able to find an answer is in our Ask & Answer section: http://www.caring.com/ask Good luck, I'll keep your friend's father in my thoughts. -- Emily

Comment on Paying for Cancer Care: What to Do When Insurance Says No

65522 — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 17:50:19 -0000

My friend's dad has cancer and the insurance is refusing to pay, is it legal to just let him die. What should I do??? HELP!!!

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

Mady — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 17:24:46 -0000

There are states that already have state-run High Risk Pools. For example, Mississippi's HRP will accept you immediately after COBRA runs out, or if you lost your individual insurance for reasons other than nonl-payment of premiums.

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

The Caregiver's Voice — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 15:56:49 -0000

Yeah! Yeah! (sitting here squirming) because I NEED TO FOLLOW THIS ADVICE and for those of you who know me...I don't! Thank you for the reminder...again. SMILE

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

Dia J — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 15:19:10 -0000

Hi everybody, was reading about stress busters, thought to share mine to add up to many of yours list in a helpful way. I keep a list of things handy(some unfinished businesses) i try picking one of them.if does'nt work than, i do what i love to do the most,like for me painting is a passion.Playing with colours brings inner satisfaction,specially when done on a big wall.by now i have painted almost many of the walls in the whole house.In garden aswell.And sometimes even just looking at what i have painted ,proves to be a stress buster :)

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

Anonymous — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 15:15:18 -0000

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

Charlotte ALIG — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 15:09:05 -0000

For the lady who needs cumaden and can't get help with the financial side of it all. At least use vinegar to thin your blood a bit. Ii mean on salad or other foods, I use a bit on spinach, for example if I want to eat it, as dark green veggies are good for you EXCEPT if you have atherosclerosis, thick blood that can lead to strokes. Avoid those dark green veggies and anything with a high vitamin k content. You can find that out easily on the internet. Your blood INR should probably be stabilized at between 2.0 and 3.0 . That is important. I hope you can find help for the financial part quickly. Surely your Dr. can direct you somewhere to get help quickly...Best of luck.

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

Charlotte ALIG — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 15:01:09 -0000

I help my stresss by taking a nice , long. hot bubble bath...not high bubbles, just the stuff that makes the water real soft....I also take a book into the tub with me and read a book.. helps me a lot...I have heart disease, atherosclerosis and have a pacemaker now, but the bathing is still a help. should have started doing it regularly years ago..

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

jan spiak — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 17:01:24 -0000

I would like to add prayer and meditation to the list. I have scripture videos I listen to and watch. their r beautiful scenes of mountains,cascading waterfalls and inspirational music. I use to be a caregiver and used meditation tapes for therapy with my client and it did wonders for her. we have to remember that every person is a triune being and the Inspirational CD and DVD's effect all three areas.

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

jacquee — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 21:34:08 -0000

Family members sharing responsibilities is very important, not only for my stress relief, but for their own well being. I am not very happy with my primary care physician, and now I might do something about that. I have numerous neurological problems, and am very happy with my neurologist. He understands and validates my illness. For years doctors would prescribe palliative meds because they thought my pain was "all in my head", and never investigated the cause. So all that time allowed my problems to worsen without proper treatment. I could go on and on about my anger at doctors, but let me just say that I am glad I found this site. I don't have Alzheimer's, but I do have MCI, and I have a problem with focusing on and completing tasks..

Comment on 10 Little-Known Signs of Lung Cancer (Would You Guess a Change in Mood?)

lung cancer — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 02:43:26 -0000

Early lung cancer may cause no symptoms patient's history, be sure to assess his exposure to carcinogens. If he's a smoker, determine pack years. http://www.mylungcancerguide.com/

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

Anonymous — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 20:02:45 -0000

I am all too aware of the ridiculously high prices of prescription medication. I have done it all to cut costs on my meds. I've ordered from Canadian pharmacies, split pills, taken generics, begged my doctor for samples..you name it, I've done it. The new thing that I have resorted to is coupons. Thats right, they've got coupons for groceries, restaurants, household products well I have found a website that has coupons for meds. www.medicationcoupons has many coupons for all types of medical conditions. it's about time something like this came along.

Comment on RIP, Ted Kennedy--and Thank You

sadtosay — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 22:54:25 -0000

I meant to agree with anon no.2

Comment on RIP, Ted Kennedy--and Thank You

sadtosay — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 21:51:12 -0000

Agree completely. If the legislature agrees to come under the same "health care" the rest of America will get under this onerous new "plan" we will get to the truth quickly won't we. It stinks!

Comment on How to Find a Doctor Who Listens - and Cares

homecare — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 10:45:00 -0000

Well Caregivers can also help a patient in helping your parents in daily routine work. If they are suffering from severe disease or they are recovering from some surgery.Professional caregivers really helps patients in their daily house hold work.Well I know company named homecareplus based in ireland which provides home care services at their best.

Comment on 7 Ways to Find Bargains in Senior Housing

Get Free Samples — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 23:49:17 -0000

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Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

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Comment on "Chemo Brain" Can Be a Serious Concern for Cancer Patients

hveshdon — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 20:48:31 -0000

I have heard about some new studies and research that implies that there are dies out there that can help slow down malignant growths. Rf tooling is a way to cast dies in certain metals but I have heard we can take that same process and use it against these medical conditions. www.electronicdiecorp.com

Comment on Beat the Holiday Blues With These 5 Stress-Busting Strategies

Anonymous — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 10:27:35 -0000

I like the "beware of things that bring you down" suggestions. It's all about finding small ways to mark the holiday -- that bring everyone together. Tha'ts what everyone remembers. Recent research shows that it's NOT about the gifts. It's about planting memories. http://voicequilt.blogspot.com/2010/12/celebrate-holidays-by-creating-memories.html

Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

jadesmith — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 06:25:23 -0000

Discomfort felt in areas like abdomen, shoulders, upper portion of the back, jaw and neck. Succinctness in breathing or one feels as though one is not able to get ample air. This briefness of breath mostly would be felt prior to or alongside chest pains or discomforting sensation. Feeling nauseous or puking, perspiration. Feeling lightheaded or dizzy. Atypical feeling of weariness, heartburn. Lost craving for food, Cardiac flutter and coughing are the symptoms which are prominently seen. http://www.womenhealthcenter.net/womens-heart-disease.html

Comment on Beat the Holiday Blues With These 5 Stress-Busting Strategies

ewarner — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 21:58:53 -0000

The Alzheimer's Daily News had an interesting article on gifts for the holidays. The Best Holiday Gift Is a Smile (Source: The Alzheimer's Store) - As family and friends immerse themselves in the holiday spirit one seemingly insurmountable challenge is the annual dilemma of what to buy someone who themselves are immersed in a disease. But the answer really is simple and it differs little from the principles that apply to everyone - a gift that generates a smile. Read more at alznews.org

Comment on Why You Should Worry When Your Parents Mention the Word Annuity

RoseJK — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 08:32:33 -0000

My grandmother had been sold an annuity some 5 years ago by her trusted bank. She told us after the fact that she had did so, investing nearly 80% of her money into it. It just matured and she had intended to cash it out and put it into a CD or her savings and the investment banker convinced her that since she didn't have expenses, she should put it back in. This was 2 weeks ago. She didn't even remember that she had done so. Now she has just been diagnosed with dementia and will likely need the funds and can only draw out 10% by next year. I am angry that this has happened to her. Our family is trying to sort out things and plan for her care in the near future. I want to get this bank reported for doing this type of thing to her.

Comment on Your Parents' Debts and Bills - Should You Worry?

Anonymous — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 08:36:10 -0000

Mom is on a fixed income. She now lives w/me but I have no constant income. She pays the rent and partial food expenses. Is there any benefits available for us? I do not want charity. Perhaps there's a barter system set up in Milwaukee to which we can subscribe.

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

mhohstadt — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 23:42:02 -0000

I have been insured thru the Oregon Medical Ins. Pool and paying a premium of about $475. per month. I am insured as an individual. I just got a notice that they are raising my rate to $546. per month. that is: $6552. per year. your web site quotes: Under the law, the premiums for this pool will be the same as would be charged for a standard population of people with varying risks. Maximum out-of-pocket cost sharing for enrollees will be $5,950 for individuals and $11,900 for families, per year. Is the Oregon program wrong? How does a working guy afford such a hugh amount for insurance? The whole system stinks!

Comment on Is TDM-1 a Miracle Drug for Advanced Breast Cancer?

Mash — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 04:13:39 -0000

I'm so glad about your wife! My best wishes to you! I'm a candidate for a clinical trial with TDM1 and your comment gave me strength, faith and confidence! I ask god for a miracle and I think I will get it!

Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

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Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

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bardamu — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 13:51:34 -0000

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Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

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Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

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Comment on Is TDM-1 a Miracle Drug for Advanced Breast Cancer?

DeniseKC — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 06:48:29 -0000

My mom is ER+/HER2 negative/neu (HER-2/neu) . . . would this work for her at stage 2, 3 or 4??? It sounds like we want this drug over the Herceptin they are wanting to try. I want to implement the best possible treatment and after discussing this with my mom, we are more than likely gonna ask our oncologist about this "super Herceptin" of sorts. We are ABOUT to start a trial w/ Herceptin and about 4 other meds... so if we can do something different... I am just curious about those with NEGATIVE HER2 where estrogen is believed to be the majority of the cause. Thank you SOO MUCH for posting this information.

Comment on Is TDM-1 a Miracle Drug for Advanced Breast Cancer?

dryaser — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 00:12:40 -0000

hiiii.... im dr.yaser from saudia arabia... my mother has acute meyloid leukemia on palliative chemotherapy.. is it possible to use this new medicine on my mother case? and if it is.... how can i get it... thank you.....

Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

nanax13 — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 14:59:24 -0000

I have sleep apnea and I thought it was alright to sleep on your back. I HAVE A BIPAP AND THE AIR DOESNOT ESCAPE AS MUCH ON YOUR BACK, SO i THOUGHT IT WAS ALRIGHT.

Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

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Comment on Paying for Cancer Care: What to Do When Insurance Says No

PolicyOptions — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 17:43:16 -0000

Many cancer patients aren't aware of an additional option for obtaining funds for treatment. It's called a "viatical settlement". Through a viatical settlement, you can sell your life insurance policy to a licensed financial institution for a lump-sum of immediate funds. The benefits are typically tax free and can be used however you please, including to pay for medical expenses, living expenses, or simply to enjoy life. Please contact me or visit my company's website at www.mypolicyoptions.com to learn more. Our company has helped countless cancer patients obtain funds in their times of need. While you're fighting cancer, we'll be fighting for you.

Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

syra — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 04:44:58 -0000

I have blood clots in my thigh. I exercise daily. I must have a procedure for P.A.D Made three years ago, it stopped. I wanted to stop Coumadin. It appears on both legs. I was afraid that the clot formation again, but I was told that it is more a cosmetic procedure. I wear long shorts, because the bumps are so remarkable. My mother had these bumps too. She could not set store on them because of pain. I was always told they were fat cells and will appear if you are overweight. I' m not overweight at the moment. What are your suggestions. http://www.insideheart.com/causes-of-blood-clots.html

Comment on Is TDM-1 a Miracle Drug for Advanced Breast Cancer?

Anonymous — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 01:51:05 -0000

My wife has breast cancer that's HER2-positive. Starting in her breast it came back in her liver (3 spots) and her spine (2 spots) and her hip bone. Then in April 2 tumors were found in her brain. After 2 years of several kinds of chemo and radiation her poor body was so worn down she could walk to the mailbox and back and had to take a nap. Her oncologist was going to keep her on the chemo drugs until she just couldn't go anymore. We decided to get a second opinion and the new oncologist recommended that she begin a treatment of TDM1. Last week we got the last of all the test and there is no sign of cancer in her whole body. First, I praise the Lord Jesus Christ and secondly I thank God for TDM1 and pray daily that the drug will get okay-ed by the FDA soon. It is a miracle drug. alight

Comment on Hail, Hail, Heart Patients: an Alternative to a Common Heart Medication

scrappers wife — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 15:54:50 -0000

I contacted the pharmaceutical company, Boehringer-Ingelheim, about Pradaxa, their new alternative to coumadin... They did not do any trials for patients with mechanical heart valves, only patients who have a-fib... The lady I spoke with said it would be our doctors call and recommended we talk with our doctor. A-fib patients take coumadin so maybe Pradaxa will work for mechanical valves... we can only hope....

Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

syra — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 04:26:35 -0000

Thanks for the focus on education about heart disease. Up until August 2009 I knew nothing. The shape of the engineering virus spread through the body and infected cells, but not cause disease. The researchers have refocused the modified virus to bind to proteins on the surface of many cancer cells. They were also charged with a fluorescent protein that allowed them to see where the virus has finished. He went directly to cancer cells, and elsewhere. Over time, this research could lead to gene therapy technique in human patients. http://www.insideheart.com/heart-attacks-in-women.html

Comment on 10 Early Signs of Prostate Cancer That Often Go Unnoticed

Tingling — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 23:13:11 -0000

Am so sorry for you friend, i will be praying for them

Comment on 10 Early Signs of Prostate Cancer That Often Go Unnoticed

Tingling — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 23:10:46 -0000

my husband wake up very often at nights to pee, he use to life alot of weight from he is a child

Comment on The Best Way to Protect Your Health: Take Vitamin D

SandraThomas — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 12:05:53 -0000

It's well known that vitamin D is vital for calcium absorption and bone health and some studies have suggested it even has an anti-cancer effect, by playing a key role in activating white blood cells that protect the body from flu and cancer. http://www.healthywomenguide.com/sources-of-vitamin-d.html

Comment on Many More Cancer Drugs Covered by Insurance Thanks to New Medicare Rules

Ashley Schmid — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 12:15:02 -0000

Ya its true.. The new medicare rule made beneficial to more drugs. I like to share this news to my friend whose father was suffering from cancer. Really this article will be helpful for them.. Thanks for sharing..

Comment on Men, Women, Illness, and Caregiving: A Recipe for Divorce?

flewds — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 17:00:26 -0000

I am in an unusual situation... I am the husband of 18 years (two teenage kids). My wife had ovarian cancer (IIIC), and I shared caregiving duties with a female family friend who came to stay with us. Our marriage was in difficult straits before the diagnosis, and I did begin an emotional (but not at all physical) relationship with a distant female friend. Leaned on her during the marriage problems and the cancer problems, as well as the post-cancer problems - my wife came out of it trying to shed herself of stressful things (including me, I was told). Anyhow, the emotional relationship was discovered while I was on a business trip (not with the other person), and within 4 days, I was served with divorce papers. It seemed very quick to me, and very extreme as I didn't break the "rules" from a male perspective (no actual, virtual, or imaginary physical relationship of any kind). Just a warm friend who was able to keep my heart whole as my wife was breaking it, both through her illness and her behavior. The visiting friend is still there helping - actually, it feels as if she's taking my place - and I'm looking at a divorce at a very difficult time in our lives. I feel almost like she "smoked me down to the filter" and chucked me out the car window - and that this family is being driven off a cliff rapidly. I am responsible for the emotional relationship, I understand that, and all I can say was that it provided me comfort that was unavailable at home, either before discovery of the illness or for a goodly period of time thereafter. But I also feel that in times like these, families should heal - themselves and each other - as going through the disease and its treatment were beyond hell. It is really heartbreaking to me - but all I get from her is that I'm lying (which I'm not).

Comment on Is TDM-1 a Miracle Drug for Advanced Breast Cancer?

lovin' daughter — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 15:49:19 -0000

so glad to hear the good news..now my mom had a conservation surgery and recieved chemo and radio-therapy, then 3 years later she got another tumor in the same breast which was HER2+ and had a mastectomy then chemo + herceptin...her scans seem to be good and thank GOD clear... i'm asking now is there anything we could do 2 stop the recurrences? any medication or regime she should follow?? also how do we reverse the side-effects of taxotere such as neuropathy? thanks!

Comment on Is TDM-1 a Miracle Drug for Advanced Breast Cancer?

MARENGO SONIA — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 15:44:21 -0000

io sono una her 2 + metastatico refrattaria alla chemio tch (taxotere, carboplatino, herceptin) attualmente in cura con herceptin e vinorelbina. ho metastasi nei vasi linfatici del torace, puo' essere efficace per me il t-dm1? ed e' possibile effettuarlo in italia? grazie

Comment on New Treatments Bring Hope for Advanced Parkinson's Disease

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Comment on Hail, Hail, Heart Patients: an Alternative to a Common Heart Medication

scrappers wife — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 13:52:09 -0000

I have been looking for an alternative to coumadin since the day the doctor put me on it... By coincidence I heard about this alternative on Fox News Sunday but didn't get the name of it. So I googled "coumadin alternative" and "Heart Medication Alternative to Coumadin or Warfarin | Caring.com" came up # 3 on the list.... I just am praying and hoping it can be used by patients with mechanical valves... Thanks to Caring.com for publishing this article.

Comment on Hail, Hail, Heart Patients: an Alternative to a Common Heart Medication

scrappers wife — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 13:38:41 -0000

Yes, let's pray it can be used for mechanical valve patients (I have two)!! I heard about it on Fox News Sunday this past weekend (10/3/2010). The doctor called it Pradaxa. I'm afraid the downer will be the price since there is a generic for coumadin and it is a lot less expensive than even the brand coumadin...

Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

Anonymous — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 01:15:22 -0000

Dakota Just an F.Y.I. that may not be anything at all, but my mother had similar experiences and ended up being called a hypocondriac by her physicians. Just to keep her quiet her physician finally ordered a total MRI and found a baseball size brain tumor behind her left ear area. Thank goodness it was benign, but all of her cardiac symptoms went away when the tumor was removed. She did not have ANY brain tumor symptoms like headaches, etc. So don't give up having your symptoms looked at............................................

Comment on Men, Women, Illness, and Caregiving: A Recipe for Divorce?

pw2766 — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 04:41:52 -0000

Too much stress on a relationship is not good and while I am no advocate divorce I do feel that sometimes it is inevitable. I tried everything I could to save my marriage and it didn't work. Now I am a single Dad (yes I have full custody) with 3 kids. The divorce was hard on them but they are so much better off now. I got a lot of information and advice for divorce from http://www.dadsdivorce.com.

Comment on The Top 5 Ways to Protect Your Heart

Marv — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 15:41:41 -0000

Absolutely very helpful! I learned a lot and was able to discover new things which is very important on one's health.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

Anonymous — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 01:19:57 -0000

Going to Canada to get your RX is fine although they only take cash but you never know if your shipment, (which even though ordered from Canada, may come from India or some other country,) may be seized by our government. Our government is not on our side when it comes to ordering from abroad, even if it is the only practical way for us to afford the drugs we need. And, of course, the money we spend on those drugs is NOT tax deductable. Ir is amazing that drugs from overseas can cost one tenth what they cost in the states and yet they are coming from companies that are run to make a profit.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

elwoodp — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 01:03:20 -0000

I have had Narcolepsy since age 13. I am now 73. My life has been one curtailed of potential because of the effects. I was fortunate that I had caring and patient parents who supported my struggle to find a path I could take to live a resonably normal and happy life. But I lost out in many ways - in the work place and socially because of the effects on my system. About 5 years ago I started taking Provigil and it has made a big difference in my ability to fuinction. Unfortunately, it is too late to make a difference in many lost dreams but it still allows me to get the most out my life now. The problem is that there is no generic and when I first started using it the cost was about $8 a pill. As it proved so succesful for people with narcolepsy doctors startred prescribing it for every kind of debilitating malady. Instead of lowering the price due to increased consumption the drug company now charges about $20 a pill. I need 3 200mg pills a day. One months supply depletes my medicare D allowance by $1500. I think the manufacturer should be punished for their greed. The usual argument they make is the high cost of development but they were only charging 40% of the current price and that was probably enough to cover the development. Now that it has proved so much in demand they have increased the price 2 and one half times. 3 200MG TABLETS DAILY is what I need to function normally most of the time - I am retired, on a fixed income and over my head. I can't afford that kind of money - even with Medicare D but I need the drug each day in order to live a normal life.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

m320753 — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 23:23:27 -0000

i'm in the gap and have been since june. i have severe COPD that costabout $1,800 every 90 days plus other meds wwas well over $2,400 for the same length. even before the gap i was paying$ 111 for advair and the same for spiriva. asmanex i told my doctor that i wasn't going to pay a higher co-pay for it. all my doctors i told the same story. my p.c gives me all the samples he can. my gastroentologist?? told me at the first visit after my tests to buy previcadeotc to which i replied that's has a pretty high cost for each box of 24 and that i couldn't afford it , so she wrote me a scrip for omeprazolem at $4 every 90 days my shrink among other drugs was giving me alprasadom E.R for $141 for 90 days 2 a day. i asked him too for a cheaper drug and got a scrip for alprazadom 4 x a day for 90 days, guess what $4 again.. i forgot to mention instead of advair at $769 and spiriva at $520 +- he changed the nebulizer meds and gave me ipratropium / albuteral and budesonide my cost? nothing. i tell ya i got all my costly med free or generic and if the Good Lord pleases i may never come near the gap again. it's a jungle out there , become a pest to get what you want God Bless

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

Anonymous — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 19:29:10 -0000

i had to go to a canadian co and saved 66%. that

Comment on Cancer and Dementia Together -- a Deadly Situation

Anonymous — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 06:59:15 -0000
My step-father of 30 years, who I love very much, has moderate dementia which is swiftly moving to towards severe. He has recently been diagnosed with Grade 4 skin cancer. My mother is is prime carer and my step-sister and I are also as carers, offering them constant support. My father died of cancer when I was a teen and so my mother has decided she couldn't cope with the diagnosis and prognois and has turned the big decisions/hospital appointments over to us. We discussed long and hard as whether he should receive chemo/radiotherapy if offered. We decided, as it would be purely paliative, it would not increase his 'quality' of life, it might in fact worsen the short time he has left with us. The hopsital informed us they would not be treating him with either chemo/radiotherapy, as it would not make a major difference to his prognosis and they felt it would confuse him and also diminish his remaining time. It's tough, but we feel we couldn't explain 50+ times a day why he was having to go to hospital and the constant non-stop 'breaking the news', as each time you tell him something, it's 'new' to him. We will offer him all the love and care we can and make him as comfortable as we possibly can and try and enjoy our remaining time with him.

Comment on Depression, Women, and Menopause -- a Hot Topic We Need to Talk About

Anonymous — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 19:09:13 -0000
I was told by people close to me that I needed counceling for a mental disorder, bipolar etc. The mood swings I was experiencing were horrific and affecting my home and work relationships. I started antidepressant treatment and found huge relief, but not 100%. I could count on one week a month where I would become " the bad witch".I know this too will end ,so for now I just lay low during that time and wait for it to pass, which it always does. It was not knowing what I was going through that was the hardest part of menapause for me. Now that I know what is happening to me and that it is normal, I can deal with it better and take comfort in knowing that some day I will be my old self again. Know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

Claya — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 00:44:41 -0000
The dates of available eligible enrollment. The heads up about the costs. The age ranges.

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

ricky53 — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 21:00:15 -0000
My wife has just been turned down for health insurance because of a pre-existing condition ( 9-07-2010 ) Do we have to wait until 2012 until this pre-existing or 2014? Seens to me this insurance that Obama and the congress and senate is one big joke. Can not see why pre-existing conditions didn't start now when they passed the ins. plan. Just another ripeoff to the citizens that pay their salary. They do not think of us because they have their on plan ,but they should have the same plan that all the people are on.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

Anonymous — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 16:34:09 -0000
I guess its a simple choice; either you pay for your many meds that are keeping you alive, or you croak! Granted, I believe many people are taking way too much medications. But there's also the fact that most of your major, medication-requiring illnesses are self-inflicted by our consumption of mass quantities of food in this society. I gaurantee that many of these people are at least 40lbs overweight. If you would loose a little weight, many of these problems would either improve greatly or disappear! I'm talking about bad knees and backs, heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure and numerous other diseases. Start with a healthy diet, and maybe you won't need so much medications. ...just a thought from a frustrated skinny person.

Comment on Breast Cancer Controversy: No More Routine Mammograms for Women Ages 40 to 49?!

Elizabeth52 — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 04:51:04 -0000
I look to the Nordic Cochrane Institute for unbiased advice and research. They soundly criticised the BreastScreen brochures given to women in Australia, the UK and other countries. Of course the screening authorities owe their survival to convincing women they should screen and are most unlikely to put together anything balanced. The NCI have produced a great information sheet you can access at their website, "The risks and benefits of mammograms". I'd recommend it to all women. I made an informed decision when I turned 50 not to have mammograms. I've never permitted routine breast exams, there is no evidence they help or bring down the death rate, but they cause unnecessary biopsies and some believe they are a risk factor for cancer. See: Hands off my chest doctor! I think doctors often do exams on women without thinking of the need, benefit or risk - just a bad habit. Our doctors have never recommended routine pelvic exams - they are of no benefit but expose you to risk. (further harmful investigations even surgery) Pap smears - be careful, many women are over-screened and that risks your health. The more often you screen and the younger you are - the more likely you'll get a false positive and have unnecessary biopsies or treatment. Finland has the lowest rates of cc in the world and they offer screening 5 yearly from age 30 - 5 to 7 tests in total and they also send the fewest women for biopsies. (fewer false positives) The evidence shows that women under 25 do not benefit from smears but produce huge numbers of false positives. Screening is of negligible value in the 25-30 age range. This cancer is uncommon and very rare in women under 25. When 99.35% of women derive no benefit from smears,(including the 0.35% who get false negatives) it's important not to over-react to the small risk. Only 1% of women would get this cancer in an unscreened developed country and with screening 0.35% still get cancer. (false negatives) but 2 yearly screening sends 77% of women for colposcopy/biopsies - that's huge over-diagnosis. Dr Raffle, UK screening expert produced some figures that were published in the BMJ in 2003, "1000 women need regular smears for 35 years to save ONE woman from cc"....see "Why I'll never have another smear test" by Anna Saybourn where they discuss this research. As a low risk woman, I made an informed decision not to screen 30 years ago. Anyone interested: my stats are taken from an article by Richard DeMay, you'll find it at Dr Joel Sherman's medical privacy blog under women's privacy issues - in the side bar you'll find lots of information. More than ever we need to do our own research to protect ourselves from harm. I'm concerned about breast cancer, it is a common cancer, but exams and mammograms are not the answer IMO...I've decided to follow the "breast awareness" program - taking note of the look and shape of my breasts in the mirror every day after my shower. (devised by the late Dr Joan Austoker from Oxford University)

Comment on Possible Ban of Darvon is Good News for Seniors -- Even Those Who Take It!

Anonymous — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 08:52:12 -0000
I use darvocet from last 1 year. i am 40 year old and I pruchase it from buydarvocetonline.net pharmacy and i found no side effects yet. according to your post, this medicine has many demerits, but i didn't recognize any of it.

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

grzbella — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 03:17:14 -0000
I AM IN A DIFFICULT PLACE AND FIND MYSELF JUST GETTING DEEPER AND DEEPER INTO A BLACK HOLE. I WAS TOLD I HAVE MI AND NEED TO TAKE CUMUDEN FOREVER BUT I HAVE TO HAVE A BLOOD TEST BEFORE I SEE THE DOCTOR BUT I WAS NEVER NOTIFIED ABOUT MEDICARE B AND I CANNOT AFFORD THE DOCTORS COST OR THE LAB AND THEY ARE NOW SENDING ME TO A COLLECTION AGENCY IT JUST INCREASES THE STRESS 100 TIMES ANY HELP?

Comment on Are There Early Symptoms of Pancreatic Cancer? Yes!

Anonymous — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 12:35:42 -0000
my symptoms was less energy and aching through my rib cage. an ultrasound showed a large gallstone. the ultrasound showed a shadow, so doctor ordered a ct scan, which lead to a mri. that confirmed a mass on my pancreas. mass was contained and removed 80% of my pancreas. no treatment needed and am feeling great. Thanks to my gallbladder is how this was found. I feel very blessed.

Comment on Long-Distance Caregiving for Someone With Cancer

Leslie Kennedy — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 14:21:06 -0000
My best defense against feeling powerless is simply to let people know I'm thinking about them all the time. Sending cards and small gifts produces delight at their end and a strong feeling of satisfaction on my end. But for me, it is tough doing it consistently enough to really make sure they know I care. There are lots of ways to send cards on a regular basis so that there is a steady stream of caring and lots of smiles when they receive a special greeting.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

Anonymous — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 04:58:30 -0000
Organizations that help patients save money on health care are out there. You just need to know where to look. In NYC, there is a non profit organization called NYCRX that was founded by NYC's Department of Health and Mental Hygiene that has partnered with health centers and clinics in the NYC area to make medications available at the lowest possible cost to all New Yorkers. Prices can be as low as 75% off retail prices. Check out there website at www.nycrx.org. Queens county was recently added to this program. Long Island City Health Center is the clinic in Queens that has partnered off with NYCRX.

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

melvinchun — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 12:03:50 -0000
stress is a killer and it all depends on the individual i always try to block it out of my mind and think of something else it all depends on the situation its hard but all you can do is try instead of getting eatten up physically n mentally

Comment on Your Parents' Debts and Bills - Should You Worry?

Anonymous — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 18:30:08 -0000
Good article. I've been thinking of divesting all my assets and racking up a huge amount of debt before I go, and make doubly sure that no-one (but the banksters) take a hit.

Comment on How to Care for Someone Who Has Cancer - AND a Negative Attitude

miranda-gould — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 15:45:25 -0000
I know every little bit you do for someone that's ill goes a long way, like driving them to the treatments, or cooking a meal or two, maybe helping with the kids. Having faith and prayer helps too! Have you read the poem "Footprints In The Sand"? It's one of my favorite poems of faith! Recently I designed this cup for my friend who's battling cancer which expresses the promise that God will carry her through this terrible time. I liked the cup so much, I decided to make more and offer them on my Etsy store. It's the perfect inspirational gift for someone you're taking care of and love. http://www.etsy.com/shop/mirandagould

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

mamag86 — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 14:55:54 -0000
For years I was caregiver for an ailing/demented husband. A couple of years after his death I was bulldozed into moving in with mjy daughter who thought I needed help. I really dont (no I am not in denial) as my health has improved immeasurably since moving in with her. BUT....I am approaching 88 and I know my time will come. We are talking, talking, talking. This website has been a big help. When I read something that I think might be germane in the future I email it to her. She can write checks on my bank account and my funeral is all taken care of. Now we go into the unknown of the next few years. Keep giving us knowledge and tips.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

Anonymous — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 07:09:29 -0000
The prescription drugs we all take are way too over priced and alot of people can't afford them!!!! The people that set the price for the drugs is the doctors and the pharamcy on what they market will bear. Even if the wholesale cost of the drug is 1.50 per pill and if they charge anywhere from $ 7.50 a pill is way out of line. If these people want your business then you have to start COMPLAINING AND COMPLAINING until you get your way or you have to make a change by taking to another doctor to see what he can do for you. That offers you the herbal approach and not as expensive as there drug companies. or you can turn to different types of foods to do the job too. Different types of foods do a better job then the drugs all together but its your choice. If you can't afford it then you have to make the change like never before...

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

jesuschick — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 15:56:43 -0000
I am just learning about the effects of stress. I have been experiencing one tragedy after another for th past year and a half. 3 deaths in my family within 1 year, My dad, grandma and recently my cousin. I am a single mom, three teenagers, two just going off to coollege this fall, financially drownding. I have become overweight as I have suffered an injury to my back and since have found out other health issues. So, yes, Stress is my middle name. I have been working with a health care coach the past few months and just the past few weeks she has been teeching me alot about stress and how to handle the ones that are in our control, such as planing major lifestyle changes so it wont become overwhelming, realize your limitations and learn to say "NO". Prioritize, make a list and prioritize your tasks ..one at a time, have a positive additude, you can end up setting up yourself for faliure and more stress. Ezersize!! Its one of the most effective ways of preveniting and managing stress. Eat and sleep well...it can help you develop a healthier lifestyle that is conducive to less stress.

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

Shannon69 — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 01:14:35 -0000
I just found out that my mother has melanoma that has now spread to a few of her lymph nodes so when I ran into this site I thought that it must have "been meant to be", so here I am, my very first time ever leaving a comment, or replying to anything online. I hope I can be some kind of positive addition to this whole process as a care-giver as well. I know, at the very least, I will add entertainment.

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

jddykes — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 02:35:41 -0000
Now the insurfance co cant drop us if our health is caused by a terrorist attack

Comment on Older Family Members Don't Have Enough Money? New Tool Helps You Find Financial Benefits

Herry Smith — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 05:31:35 -0000
Older people are turning to equity release to generate money to pay off their debts. For many of those using equity release, selling their home and downsizing to a cheaper property was not an option. Although more than two-thirds of over-65s are homeowners without a mortgage, many are living on low to modest incomes and struggling to maintain their homes. One in seven (14%) of those surveyed were in receipt of pension credit, and some of the respondents felt there was no option but to use equity release to pay for housing repairs in order to continue living in their homes. Tags:- Pay Day Loan

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

Janzhellle — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 13:42:07 -0000
It's really obvious that working for long hours is difficult and tiring. Me i need to eat light meals before going to bed , this is what i noticed because for the whole day I worked hard and you eat heavy meals then go to sleep, i end up having nightmares. So every night i just eat cereals with 2 tablespoon of chia seed of hidalgofoods

Comment on Cancer, Sex, and Intimacy: Couples Talk About How Sex Works After Cancer

evela — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 22:32:55 -0000
You cant tell anyone about you had canc.er. People run away from you

Comment on Cancer, Sex, and Intimacy: Couples Talk About How Sex Works After Cancer

evela — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 22:26:26 -0000
I feel unwanted, I HAD LIVER CANCER, and i I am single.

Comment on Early Stage Breast Cancer Alert

Her2Gal — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 17:58:18 -0000
"In the past, the "cut-off" for Herceptin has been six centimeters; current treatment guidelines for women whose tumors are five centimeters or smaller call for only surgery and radiation. And for women whose tumors are six to ten centimeters, the guidelines say doctors should "discuss" the option of Herceptin treatment." I think you mean 'millimeters,' not 'centimeters.'

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

bevmharlow — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 02:08:42 -0000
I think perhaps We have a disabled--mentally and physically--son living with us, his 15 yr. old son, and our 20 yr. old grandson

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

Hunibuni — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 16:42:54 -0000
We are retired folks and both have health issues requiring many perscriptions. Some are extremely expensive and we reach the doughnut hole eariler each year. News that we can possibly receive free meds is a Godsend!

Comment on How to Get Real, Practical Help From Your Doctor When You Need It

Anonymous — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 23:58:59 -0000
How do I with fraility issues? I cannot watch her 24/7

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

irishrosegran — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 04:28:42 -0000
I HAVE FOUND A VERY SIMPLE WAY TO AVOID THE INSANE COSTS OF RX MEDICATIONS IN THE UNITED STATES. I AM ON DISABILITY AND TAKE 9 MEDICATIONS PER DAY. LAST YEAR IN THE MEDICARE PART D PROGRAM I SPENT SEVEN AND A HALF MONTHS IN THE "DONUT HOLE". THIS YEAR, I DISENROLLED FROM MEDICARE PART D AND NOW BUY ALL BUT THREE OF MY MEDICATIONS FROM AN ON-LINE CANADIAN PHARMACY. SO FAR THIS YEAR, I'VE SAVED NEARLY $3000.00 BY PAYING CASH FOR MY SCRIPTS. ANOTHER HELPFUL TIP...THERE ARE GENERICS FOR SOME OF MY MOST EXPENSIVE MEDS, BUT THEY ARE NOT AVAILABLE IN THE U.S. EVEN THE NAME BRANDS I BUY FROM CANADA ARE CHEAPER. ITS A WIN-WIN SITUATION. GENERICS COST FOR A 90 DAY SUPPLY WHAT I WOULD HAVE TO PAY FOR A 30 DAY SUPPLY IN THE U.S. COUNT ME HAPPY AND INFORMED. AND THESE DRUGS ARE MANUFACTURED BY THE SAME COMPANIES THAT SELL THEM IN THE U.S. IF MORE FOLKS WOULD DO THIS, YOU CAN BET PRICES FOR RX MEDS IN THE U.S. WOULD COME DOWN!

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 18:44:04 -0000
Hi, i work for the family resource network in Brick, NJ. We are a non profit organization supporting those with developmental disabilities and their families. We are having a National Caregivers Conference on October 26, 2010 in Iselin, New Jersey. The website is www.nationalcaregiversconference.org Please post this to your blog that way anyone intersted can attend! Thanks for helping spead the word!

Comment on Do Drinking Coffee and Tea Prevent Diabetes?

Lady_Macbeth — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 20:28:09 -0000
I honestly agree that coffee and tea have some benefits we've not yet even looked at. Anything in moderation can be good fro you, and anything in excess can be bad.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

Pat102 — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 20:16:20 -0000
Medicare will pay $1200 for 1 injection of reclast for your bones - good for 1 year - rather than taking boniva or fosamax which no one pays for. Try and find a dr to give that injection - impossible.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

Pat102 — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 20:12:17 -0000
The Patients Assistance Program is a joke. I asked for actonel like the ad suggested, I'm on medicare and medicaid and they won't pay for the drug - Pateints Assistance said my income of $8200 a year was too high and rejected me.Which is just as well since these are dangerous drugs.

Comment on Possible Ban of Darvon is Good News for Seniors -- Even Those Who Take It!

Anonymous — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 18:49:40 -0000
Just got home from ER with 89 y/o mother who has fallen twice since starting Darvocet after a fall slipping on a banana peel- I thought that only happened in the cartoons. Anyway, after the banana peel incident, her physician put her on Darvocet resulting in dizziness with one fall in bathroom with lots of bruises, and then today's fall in the refrigerator (yes, she never has been the most coordinated or lucky) with cut on the head needing 6 sutures. ER doc adamantly said to toss the Darvocet..."probably the worst choice for her age" and started low dose vicodin only at bedtime so she can sleep...all consistent with this article. I'm sending this link to her physician...if we keep him. Sometimes I feel they just make stuff up without really thinking through the problem! $%#^

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

Best 4 Me — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 15:29:42 -0000
Sometimes stress is too many demands on our time and our emotions. But sometimes our own run down, toxin filled and nutritionally depleated bodies are making us act and react like we are overstressed when if we were fit in every way, we could handle these life happenings more effectively and in total control. For more on building up your nutrition and improving the environment you live in go to this site. http://www.BringingWellnessHome.com/sharper

Comment on Are There Early Symptoms of Pancreatic Cancer? Yes!

signs of pancreatic — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 01:45:52 -0000
these signs are close to most of my signs

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

heyjude91746 — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 22:10:39 -0000
thanks, glad to fine someone concerend about the seniors o=for a change

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

metropolis11 — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 19:57:45 -0000
Brandy B.........thanks..... info keeps me hopeful...

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

metropolis11 — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 19:54:42 -0000
Thanks petra...excellent info on the free meds

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 19:50:55 -0000
Most large Rx companies have a Patient Assistance Program (PAP) that offers 6 months to a year at at time for patients to receive free prescriptions. One of mine only sends out two month shipments instead of three month shipments but still give a one year free plan. My Dr. also wrote the Rx for 4 x per day even though I had previously been taking three x daily. And he gave me free samples when I got low or between new applications to the manufacturers. Sometimes patients are not aware of the various PAP plans and even doctors are not aware of them. And some drugs are not offered through a PAP but every little bit helps. With the job market being what it is and unemployment benefits having run out (mine ran out before the extensions started and they won't make it retroactive), the cost of Rx is more than the food budget. People in all age and economic brackets have to make a choice. Food, drugs, housing, gas to look for a new job -- where do you draw the line or make the choice?!?! Remember to ASK your doctor and call the drug company that makes your Rx (it is on the Rx bottle) and you can find them listed on the Internet or ask the Doctor or even ask the drug store personnel for help. It can't hurt to ASK!!

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

glou — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 11:59:23 -0000
There is a prescription drug program offered by AmeriPlan Health that enables individuals to purchase their medications at a discount but they also have a program that allows their Members to purchase medications through a national wholesale pharmacy. All medications are priced below retail. Orders are for a 90 day supply. There's no doughnut hole in this program. If an individual is unemployed with no healthcare there is a company that offers a comprehensive package of benefits for less than $40 dollars a month for a household of up to12 people. Shoot me an email and I'll be glad to share that information with you; dlcdist@juno.com.

Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

Anonymous — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 23:05:12 -0000
reminder to keep head elevated and the fact that there would be a distinction between a heavy snorer and one not so bad.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

agvm — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 03:14:22 -0000
My first visit to this site. I am eagar to try the above 2 messages concerning free prescriptions. I buy personal script insurance now from Humana. It helps some. I purchased Plavix yesterday - 90 tabs $225.00 copay. I would be so happy to find a break in medicine cost, since I have to take 9 prescriptions.

Comment on Depression and Dependence: When It's Time to Say, "I Need Time Alone"

Anonymous — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 17:53:30 -0000
Great info. Thanks for the publish.

Comment on When It Takes a Village to Care for a "Sandwich Generation" Family

Rita2010 — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 19:13:42 -0000
Many of us feel bad to ask someone to do an errand for us when our responsibilies are overwhelming. Asking someone if they need help when our schedules are not full is a way to ask favors of that person when we are at the end of our rope! That's a lesson I got from this article. Thanks

Comment on How to Get Real, Practical Help From Your Doctor When You Need It

granny9663@sbcglobal — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 06:57:20 -0000
I recently had to give up my cymbalta because my insurance did not cover enough. I had to pay 43.00 for 30 tabs. I also had to give up Boniva, I paid 43.00 for one tab. We have Blue Anthem and medicare. I don't understand, We work all of our lives to try and retire and survive. But when you didn't have a State job or have a good retirement. When we get up in our 60's and up we don't get the care that the younger folks do. we sometimes live on eggs for a week or rice that was donated or can soup. Then the dr says watch your salt.. well, we would if we didn't have to pay the high prices for scrips and dr bills. I just don't know what I would do if I had to take meds for Cancer. My 786.00 a month would not cover much but rent and utilities. just wish i could tell the youngesters of this crazy world get a good job and hold on to your money. The material things don't matter today. you will need it when you can't work. No one is going to help you. for sure not Obama. I don't want a hand out. there are people without a roof over their head. I just wish the prices would quite going up. God bless Our Broken America

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

marto — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 04:14:51 -0000
THANKS FOR THE PRESCRIPTIONSHOPE ONLINE. U C IVE BEEN ON DISABILITY FOR 3 YEARS AND IN FEBUARY THEY NOW DECIDED THAT I NO LONGER MEET THEIR REQUIREMENTS. HOW IRONIC.... MY DRS SAY I CANT WORK SO WHAT MORE DO THEY NEED. MY DEDICATIONS R OUTRAGIOUS I AGREE. I SOMETIMES GO WITHOUT. DO U PAY BILLS, BUY GROCERIES, OR GET MY MEDS. THIS REALLY SUCKS SO HERE I WAIT TO SEE IF SOCIAL SECURITY WILL APPROVE ME. WE ALL KNOW HOW LONG THAT CAN TAKE...... I JUST PRAY THAT SOME DAY ALL MEDS WILL GO DOWN FOR EVERYONE AND HEALTH CARE ALSO....

Comment on Saving Money With Coupons -- Everybody's Doing It

Anonymous — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 07:05:29 -0000
Good read

Comment on Depression, Women, and Menopause -- a Hot Topic We Need to Talk About

Anonymous — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 19:26:55 -0000
Hello! Im new to the site. really looking forward to meeting new people, seeing what they have to say and just really chilling on some social network other than facebook. bleh. like i said, i am me, now who are you? Look forward to 'meeting' you all.

Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

Anonymous — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 15:57:19 -0000
Rather good site to read it to my thinking. I have a question, why haven't you you add this post to social bookmarking sites? It should bring lots of traffic to this blog.

Comment on High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, Diabetes -- and Cancer?

Anonymous — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 11:54:46 -0000
Engaging lecture, althoug it can be argued both sides. A bit like talking love spells in the middle of a thorough paper.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

Palet01@aol — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 10:12:03 -0000
what about the of test strips for diabetics. OUTRAGEOUS

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

Sherlin — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 05:16:49 -0000
Make a habit of time management.Try yoga and meditation for fast and sure results. Make friends with whom you can discuss some points to reduce your stress.

Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

rylandrob2000@aol. — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 23:38:52 -0000
I understand some of the Doctors are trying to save a number of cancer patience. I my self live with prostate cancer for 15 yrs.I used alternative medicine. That the FDA.disprove.

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

PRollins — Sun, 30 May 2010 20:47:17 -0000
I quit my job last year and have not found another one. I found prescriptionhope.com online, because I could not afford my medications any longer. You need to provide info that you are not employed, get a prescription from your doc and send it to them. They will contact the pharmacutical companies and you can get free meds for up to a year. God bless. Petra

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

Anonymous — Sat, 29 May 2010 19:45:04 -0000
Thank you for that suggestion, BrandyB! Will look into it. What worked for us last year (my husband's first year on Alzheimer's meds) was this: By the third quarter of the year he landed in the coverage gap, which meant it was going to cost $1,000 for meds to carry him through to the end of the year. However, the doctor kindly gave us samples -- one month's supply of each of the Rx meds -- telling me to check back in a month to see if had more surplus. I did this monthly and we were able to get through the remainder of the year just fine, and had enough to take us through the first month of the new year. I've heard that doctors are happy to do this for their patients, so long as they have enough free samples on hand. In our case, we were very thankful for the help in saving $1,000. Another thing: Once my own doctor made an error in writing my Rx for Lipitor, making it for 20mg instead of 10mg. I checked with him to make sure he didn't mean to double my dose (he didn't) but he said to go ahead and use the Rx and just cut them in half. Which meant that one 90 day supply was good for 180 days (for the cost of a 90 day supply). Since then he has written it for the higher dose, knowing that I'm alert enough to always cut them in half. This saves me $250 per year. It worth asking one's doctor is he is willing to do this.

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

AngelWings14 — Sat, 29 May 2010 05:00:07 -0000
A balanced diet is also needed in order to have a healthy body thus, healthy mind as well. You may visit this site for additional information: http://www.completedietinfo.com

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

AngelWings14 — Sat, 29 May 2010 04:58:48 -0000
There's always a time for everything. It's only a matter of time management. When you do something, do it in focus and don't think about anything else unrelated or insignificant. When you're done, move on with your next task doing the same thing...keyword is FOCUS! This way you can avoid stress because your mind is not mixed up with all things at one time.

Comment on Secret Cure for Deadly Stress: Taking the Team Approach

regina1 — Sat, 29 May 2010 02:20:10 -0000
this is a workable plan!I could call a family meeting and we could discuss this with this approach. We have tried a meeting before, but nothing much came of it, in fact some members were offended by it and i just did not know how to address the issue very well. It would be great if there was a plan to print out to bring to a family meeting with these issues addressed and spelled out like this, Hey, i could even have T-shirts made!

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

Melanie Haiken — Tue, 25 May 2010 22:10:18 -0000
Yes, I completely agree, I've recommended this service highly in other articles - very valuable tool!

Comment on Prescription Medications Cost Too Much? Here's What to Do

BrandyB — Mon, 24 May 2010 20:14:40 -0000
Seniors (and their caregivers) with limited resources might also want to try BenefitsCheckUp, a free, confidential online service from the National Council of Aging at www.benefitscheckup.org. BenefitsCheckUp allows users to assess their eligibility to receive discounted/free prescriptions available from Federal, state, local and private programs.

Comment on The 10 Biggest Money Mistakes Nearly Everyone Makes

kevincimring — Fri, 21 May 2010 16:14:00 -0000
OK, I am a year late in reading this article but I only came across it now. Excellent article that is so true. I challenge anyone who can say that none of these apply to you.

Comment on Caring for an Alcoholic Parent: A Special Challenge

poodleshyt — Fri, 21 May 2010 04:53:06 -0000
I would do anything to have my mum back for one day, drunk or sober,

Comment on Caring for an Alcoholic Parent: A Special Challenge

poodleshyt — Fri, 21 May 2010 04:42:43 -0000
I lost my mum in December 2009 we only recieved a pathology report last week. i am heavily pregnant (due in august) and just had my first baby in september. Though my mum suffered chronic liver desise Mums death was sudden and unexpected. I had been visiting her with the baby just 3 weeks beforehand. The night she died I got the phonecall at 2.40am tellin me my mum had dropped down dead suddenly I went into shock. We were supposed to be visiting her for xmas and had just seen her. I knew my mum was an alcoholic all my life but when she had been in hospital in 2003 she had turned yellow, was bloated and very noticably sick. AND she still managed to pull through . She had remained largely abstinant from drink since - though not completely as shed get fits and black out when coming off drink too suddenly. there was no tell tale signs however, this time that anything was wrong, apart from mum complaining of feeling constipated a couple weeks before her death. She was lively outgoing and full of life havng just moved to another part of the country and very much looking forward to being a grandma. My mums sister and family had never done much to help her and I watched them critise her and alternatively deny /turn a blind eye to her drinking problem my whole life. mum would beg them to visit but they saw her as bringing shame on the family and instead outcasted her largely. when mum died having named me her next of kin, my mums sister decided to contest it. her argument was that my father who my mum had never legally seperated from should be n.o.k by uk law. I had spent years listening to my aunt tell me what a loser and bad man my dad was however she knew that he would want no financial rsponsiblity over the funeral as he hated my mum and would allow her to take hold of the reigns and organise everything ( my mum held an injunction against my father right up until the time of her death (because of his own drinking and domestic violence)so I believe she was within her rights to name me as next of kin - and she had been living with her partner for the past 8 years in a different part of the country to my aunt and dad where they had never visited her -despite her always asking my aunty to come see how well she was doing in her new house (where consequently i had seen her happy for the first time in her life and not having to endure my dads verbal and sometimes physical abuse) I was basicly cut out of the funeral and they buried my mum in london near where shed endured all those years of misery with my dad and because they wouldnt allow the coroner enough time to conduct his tests before the burial we had to endure a 6 month delay in getting the cause of death/death certificate and pathology reports which has put me through sheer hell. I do not belive the coroner should have even rleased my mums body to them just because they were ringing him daily and harrasing the office. I was left grieving pregnant and powerless to fight as I was told id have to get legal action or help to stop my mums body being handed over to the man who used to beat her and the family who disowned her. However they released the body without ensuring i had time to get said legal advice. and have just done te same thing with the inquest.not past me o any information until i heard through a friend the night before my mums inquest was to be the next day, i rang the coroners office in a panic saying im heavily pregnant and wanted to be there and that i Had important medical notes of hers to submit and questions to ask but he said it was too late. I feel like ive not only lost my mum but ive been completely pushed aside.my stepdad is depressed about it all aswel.we hadnt even heard from these people for years and then they disturbed m mothers last wishes and those of me and her partner in wanting to say goodbye. I think my aunt and father would only want next of kin rights so they could access any of my mums bank accounts now shes dead - as thats the sort of voulchers they are, whilst I cant even decorate her grave without permission. or see her be buried n ireland as she would have wanted or near her partner. When I was visiting my mum the last time i begged my aunt to come see her and told her i didnt think mum was too well and could do with some help as she was collapsing randomly (though shed done this all my life) and her partner is elderly so not much help at lifting a grown woman off the floor whilst shes shaking. i was there with a 7 week old baby and finding it hard to look after my mum the baby and her partner (i was also sufferng post natal depression) and begged my aunt to come up for a few days and help me but she just said stupid things like "well you know what your mums like" and "she sounded fine to me on the phone" three weeks later my mum was dead.I was due to come back to visit her the following the week, and had only come back to london to sort out my move to be nearer to her. It seems crazy to me that someone who could leave there sister to die and not come when begged by their neice to save her mum could then go on to act oblivious as to why my mum had died and attempt to take over her funeral and cut me my baby daughter and my mums common law husband out whilst buddying up to the man who used to beat her. It makes me think is there revenge for her drinking they o againsther daughter and partner and all her wishes in death? could people be that resentful? At the moment i dont know what to do im heavily pregnant cant sleep and worried sick about my mums partner who is drinking aswel now and stuck there in the house on his own.I plan to move to somerset where he and my mum lived as I had planned too before my mum died but Im scared he'll be the next to go.I feel cursed sometimes that I grew up with two alcoholic parents but whilst my dad was cruel and manipulative my mum always had a good heart and I felt she drank because she wanted to block out her misery.I will always miss her and kick myself I wasnt able to save her or at least her funeral.feels like the people who destroyed her life and drove her to drink then danced on her grave :-( i think sometimes my aunty has gone mad with guilt because she never went to help my mum when i asked but that doesnt mean she should hurt me at the hardest time of my life.

Comment on How to Find a Doctor Who Listens - and Cares

nnmfam — Mon, 17 May 2010 19:42:31 -0000
I switched last year after being really sick and having a primary who would not listen to the specialists he was sending me to. I am doing better thanks to a DR taht spends time asking and snswering questions and is more tehn willing to call the specialists when i am right there if he is unsure about anything. He also takes the time to understand the effects of having a lifethreatening chronic illness has on my spouse and kids at age 40. More need to be like him.

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

Melanie Haiken — Sat, 15 May 2010 22:04:42 -0000
Dear Anonymous, Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties with your parents - it sounds like way too much has fallen on your shoulders, and that sense of unfairness adds emotional stress to the stress of trying to do too much. I hope your story will help others recognize the toll that situations like these can take on our health. Please be good to yourself and find support for yourself whereever you can - and let us know how you do. There are lots of us here at Caring.com in difficult family situations and we care.

Comment on Is Stress Sabotaging Your Heart?

Anonymous — Sat, 15 May 2010 06:04:07 -0000
I had a heart attack two weeks ago due to stress that was partially the result of helping to care for my 84 year old father after a fall. My mom has cancer and Dad has mid to late stage Alzheimer's, congestive heart failure, and a broken pelvic bone. He fell to begin with because the family members he was with weren't paying attention because they minimize his health problems and think he is faking both the mental & physical health issues. Both have lived with us for varying amounts of time from a few days to 2 1/2 mos. due to Mom being to ill to care for Dad or herself. One of my brothers is very spoiled, self-centered, and self-serving. He has always been able to con our mom into bailing him out of whatever mess he has gotten into. He was in the middle of another con & put his personal time before the care of our parents when I confronted him about not helping except when he could get something out of it. That was 3 months ago. He has continued to harass me since then by lying, not showing up on time to relieve me so I could go to work, being verbally abusive, and bullying all of us. Including myself & my mom, four family members have been taking turns staying with my dad 24/7 at the hospital & nursing home. Others have helped out when they can, but he doesn't respond as well to them, so they were short term. The spoiled brother has not spent one night, one full day, or more than an hour or two at a time, with the exception of a couple of occasions, during the entire time Dad has been injured. He has some health problems himself, is on disability, and has a business that allows him to set his own schedule & be free 90% of the time. So there is no excuse for him not being there part of the time other than his selfishness. After I had spent 3 nights straight in the nursing home while working full-time during the day, and then all the next day, he was an hour late showing up to relieve me so that I could go to my granddaughter's 2nd birthday party. He was mean, a bully, lied about me and making fun of me for being upset with him. I got very angry and lost my temper with him. Fifteen minutes later I was having "muscle spasms" in my left upper back. They continued throughout the evening and in about 3-4 hours they were getting worse, moving into my shoulder, my neck, my face, my ear, and down my arm. On the way to the hospital, four hours after the argument, my chest began hurting. After being transferred to a heart hospital and a heart cath the next morning, I was diagnosed with "stress induced weakened heart muscle" or "Broken heart syndrome." I have no history of heart problems, high cholestorol, or high blood pressure. I am over-weight & have diabetes. A year ago I had several heart tests and was declared having a healthy heart by a cardiologist. After some research I have learned that this is a somewhat rare thing to happen, but basically my heart suddenly reacted to the stress and I had a heart attack. I will probably recover completely if I lose weight, keep my diabetes under control, and keep my stress under control. Many people survive this type heart attack, but many die during the actual attack. Stress can kill you; it could have killed me.

Comment on Cancer and Dementia Together -- a Deadly Situation

Jodiet45 — Thu, 13 May 2010 17:39:02 -0000
My Dad is 91 and my mom is 81. We have been dealing with dementia and all that entails for several years now. The drs just found a spot on her lungs and she is at the oncologist as I write this. I haven't a clue where we go from here or even what my mother will say or do. She's been having some good days, but of course the bad ones are always just around the corner. Having lost my husband to cancer I know the battle ahead. His mind was clear and he could make his own decisions. I cannot imagine what my mother (a retired registered nurse) is thinking when her mind is clear. She will shut us down immediately if she thinks we are ganging up on her and getting in her business. I have read and I understand the posts here, and I thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is definitely food for thought to me. The last thing we want is to add to her anxiety.

Comment on How to Find a Doctor Who Listens - and Cares

Anonymous — Wed, 12 May 2010 02:06:16 -0000
I am lucky, I have great primary care Doctor, The trick is be patient and not upset if she is running late, treat her like a person, ask questions, suggest options that may not be as drastic to try first. She is always willing to listen, I am lucky all my docs are great. It is a give and take, I will miss all my health care givers when I move.

Comment on How to Find a Doctor Who Listens - and Cares

gigi92201 — Tue, 11 May 2010 20:53:44 -0000
Yes, nurses are a great reservoir of opinion about doctors. However, keep in mind, that a nurse actually on duty in a hospital can get into trouble by the very physicians on your list if she or he is overheard recommending or un-recommending one of them. THey have to be very careful. A good question is: Which of these physicians would you take your parents to see. A nurse must be careful to NOT say "I wouldn't take my dog to this doctor." She/he can get sued.

Comment on How to Find a Doctor Who Listens - and Cares

Freida — Tue, 11 May 2010 14:07:28 -0000
Typo -- TWO losers. Sorry

Comment on How to Find a Doctor Who Listens - and Cares

Freida — Tue, 11 May 2010 14:06:54 -0000
Took me tow "losers" before I found my present doctor. She is great. She listens!

Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

Kateg — Tue, 11 May 2010 14:05:21 -0000
I agree with Singhavi that education is important. Doubly so when the time comes to choose a treatment. One really great resource is To Pee Or Not To Pee... which explains a lot of the options in a very understandable way. Don't just trust your doctor, get the facts and make your own decisions.

Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

singhavi — Sat, 08 May 2010 09:59:21 -0000
The Best way to fight Cancer is by spreading cancer awareness. Though most citizens of developed countries know about cancer, but the third world developing nations are too far behind when it comes to cancer awareness. They still tend to follow there old ways of life and some even try to treat cancer using spiritual and other out of the world things. Most forms of cancer can be cured if diagnosed early, but often we tend to be negligent which at times can be life threatening. If we find anything abnormal in our body then we should approach a qualified doctor. So please remember, to fight cancer you have to diagnose and treat it as early as you can. Its time to spread cancer awareness, make people around you realize the need of early diagnosis.

Comment on How to Find a Doctor Who Listens - and Cares

Melanie Haiken — Thu, 06 May 2010 16:14:26 -0000
This is such a great piece of advice! I wouldn't have thought of this and so appreciate your suggestion. You're right, I've always found nurses to be a great source of information and opinions, and they're usually dead right. What a smart way to reach out to the nurses; just show up and ask!

Comment on How to Find a Doctor Who Listens - and Cares

HandiAnn — Thu, 06 May 2010 15:25:01 -0000
I found a great doctor for my mom and dad when I moved them near me. I hadn't had much medical care myself and didn't have a clue about local docs who were good with seniors. I think hospital nurses know which docs are good and which docs aren't because they see them every day, so I would generally trust their recommendations or use them as a first point of reference. So I took the list of approved doctors in my parents' PPO to my local hospital. I went to the general medical floor and to the nurses' station. I corralled the first nurse I saw and asked her for recommendations. At first she was hesitant to give me any kind of information, but another nurse came over and when she heard what I wanted, she started to tell me which docs on the list were good and which ones she "wouldn't take her dog to". I soon had several nurses giving me their recommendations and information. I took that short list and found a great doc that has served my parents well since 2002. I would try that method again in a heartbeat. You may find nurses hesitant at first, but if you tell them it's for your elderly parent(s), they'll probably help you.

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

Howcoolrutoday — Thu, 06 May 2010 14:52:26 -0000
MichaelW - With regard to finding a primary care physician who will really "be there when you need them", I don't know that there is an easy answer for this. It is certainly a different beast when arranging care for a loved one let alone yourself - and I do empathize with you as MY current primary care physician of 35 years has become merely a "cog in a medical factory" (6 months to schedule physicals, never available when you need them, etc). I am afraid this is the state of the medical establishment as it exists today due to economic, legal, and regulatory pressures. That said, I would find a doctor, and more likely a "practice" with several doctors, that is recommended, can be trusted, and is affiliated with a reputable health care organization (hospitals and specialists). These days we must contend with "networks" of physicians and no longer just one or two people we can confide in. Hospitals today seem to arrange their care in daily, weekly, and monthly “shifts” of attending and “rotated” physicians and nurses. Having a trusted practice coordinating your care in the event hospitalization is required is MUCH preferred over that rotation of personnel that will hand you off like a baton – which is what occurred in my father’s case. Medical records are not adequately standardized and not where they need to be to fill in the gap when patient handoffs occur – in my estimation. Your care is then at the mercy of someone’s ability to dictate notes and ensure test results are recorded accurately. Coordinating care for a loved one is a legally involved and potentially arduous challenge by itself. Because of privacy laws, unless you have Guardianship for that loved one, it is very difficult to communicate and receive information and coordinate timely and meaningful care. As guardian, YOU can dictate the primary care physician, but once a loved one is in the hospital without one, it may be too late. Just my perspective ....

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

michaelw — Thu, 06 May 2010 12:43:28 -0000
My questions is: How do I go about getting another doctor? As I am older, I would like to get a doctor that would be around when I am "old and gray." Oops! I'm already old and gray! And, I am concerned because my doctor has appointment "cards" that are just cut up pieces of copy paper. And, I wonder about whom he will recommend. I want someone younger, but not too young. But, someone also into "elder care" issues.

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

Melanie Haiken — Wed, 05 May 2010 23:29:32 -0000
Dear HowcoolRUtoday and jfp3, thank you so much for sharing these moving stories. Another Caring member, Michael, emailed me personally to share a similar story and request advice. I think based on your insights that I will plan another post about how to go about finding a doctor that will work proactively with you as a caregiver or patient. As HowCoolRU says, having the right family doctor in place could have saved everyone a great deal of heartache and stress.

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

Howcoolrutoday — Tue, 04 May 2010 14:21:51 -0000
Doctors who perpetuate pain and suffering through acts of indifference and self-perceived omniscience need to be HELD ACCOUNTABLE – Morally and Legally! As an only child of two elder parents, my father, who suffered from dementia, was on a clear and well documented path to self-destruction over a two year period threatening the well-being of all those around him through increasingly erratic and potentially dangerous behaviors: wildly spending money he did not have, driving with a suspended license, stalking family and friends, possessing and flaunting firearms, and so much more. My attempts to obtain help, have him declared legally incapacitated, and address his decline with a sense of logical urgency were continuously and casually thwarted by his doctor who declared him competent at every opportunity despite police, social services, and adult protective services interventions. In retrospect, his doctor simply wanted an arm’s length relationship, did not want to contend with the time-consuming “issues”, and in the end, was only concerned with his cash flow. When an elder rejects all attempts at assistance, is in complete and irrational denial of their condition, and functionally incompetent threatening their safety and others, it is IMPERATIVE that primary care physicians work with family members to do the RIGHT THING – or at least recommend someone else that will. In my father's case, he resisted any and all attempts for care and his doctor did NOTHING to help. I was able to eliminate his ability to drive and had the firearms removed from his possession with police intervention. Shortly thereafter, he decided to walk to a secretary of state office in an irrational attempt to get his drivers license back. This facility was several miles away from his home. He became disoriented, was picked up by the police, and escorted to a hospital. I requested an objective 3rd-party evaluation by both a physician and psychiatrist. He was declared incompetent on the spot. This was, sadly, the last time he ever saw his home. What followed was hellish: legal proceedings (guardianship) and six months of painful hospitalizations and nursing home rehabs – he suffered a stroke, had a cardiac arrest, gastrointestinal issues, and more all in these facilities. Four weeks ago, I received the call we all dread in the middle of the night: "Your father has passed away". It was peaceful and merciful. Whilst my mother and I grieve for this loss, I can not help feel anything but anger and disgust towards the “medical” negligence that led to my father’s painful demise. With timely directed and coordinated assistance from my father’s primary care physician, MUCH pain could have been addressed and alleviated resulting in a far better quality-of-life for my father and all those around him that cared and tried so hard to help.

Comment on Five Signs It May be Time to Break Up With Your Doctor

jfp3 — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 19:31:41 -0000
I was a partner in a hospice and I cannot tell you how many times we had doctors not listen to the patient and/or caregiver. This usually lead being made to feel guilty for even asking to change something about treatment. Or in an extreme case, the caregiver suffering a mental breakdown because the parent/patient required almost continuous care. This subject should be discussed more often so caregivers can receive advice on how to deal with difficult doctors while caring for an aging parent.

Comment on Getting Proactive About Prostate Cancer

judijuliano — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 22:12:40 -0000
There are theraputic grade essential oils that are helpful with prostrate cancer. Several ways to apply. A few are frankincense, myrrh, sage, clove. Hope this helps someone. http://gatewaytowellness.younglivingworld.com and http://oil-testimonials.com/1111516

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

Rotatus — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 16:15:39 -0000
Anything is possible when funded by the tax dollars of hard working Americans. It's statistics plain and simple. Those of us who have been paying by the rules all our lives, paying premiums, paying taxes, going to work each day, not overusing the system will shoulder the inevitable burden in the form of reduced quality of care, higher taxes and higher premiums. Are there people who have also been playing by the rules who have been caught up by misfortune and pre-existing conditions and general hard times? Of course, but that is not be the large majority we are being asked to subsidize. The real issues such as pre existing conditions massive malpractice abuse and the prohibitive cost of bringing new medical innovations to the public could have been solved by taking a laser approach not the shotgun approach that was politically motivated by those in Washington. Or at least we could have tried to fix what is arguably one of the best medical systems on the planet before scrapping it for political gain.

Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

Melanie Haiken — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 00:30:00 -0000
Thanks so much for sharing this story, avinger; this is exactly the type of self-advocacy that I'm talking about, that we're all being forced to do; good for you for finding out about the Lovenox and insisting!!! I'm so glad to hear you did that.

Comment on Having Surgery? Protect Yourself From Dangerous Blood Clots

avinger — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 07:02:14 -0000
I have had 2 blood clots in my left leg. When I broke my right ankle and had to have surgery, I asked my doctor to give me Lovenox (clotting drug) injections after my surgery since I would have to be non weight bearing for 6 wks. When I got ready to go home and insisted on the Lovenox injections, the hospital had a problem getting the insurance company to approve the Lovenox injection for me to take at home (the hospitalist wanted to prescribe Coumadin but I was told it is not as fast acting as the Lovenox injection so I INSISTED on the Lovenox). I was so persistent that I had to stay over the weekend from Friday until Monday before they could get insurance company approval. If I had not asked & insisted, I would not have been put on any blood thinner after my surgery even with my history.

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

John — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 22:01:45 -0000
Melanie - I hoped that was what you meant! If anyone complains or is surprised when insurance companies increase their rates to ALL of us in light of their soon-to-be new requirements, please remember that insurance companies are not charities! They do their best to understand the odds of premiums versus payouts and hope to strike a balance between what their customers will pay and what it they eventually require to pay back to their customers. At the end of the day, the insurance companies, like all businesses in the private sector, hope to make a profit on the transactions. If they do not, they go out of business and their services need to be provided by other entities. If these other entities end up playing with "house money" (tax-payer money!) then services rendered can be customized to fit monies available. Read into that scenario what you will!

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

Melanie Haiken — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 18:35:14 -0000
Dear John, I'm sorry if I wasn't clear. What I mean is that, because the high risk pools can no longer refuse to accept you with a pre-existing condition, it's not necessary to hold off on getting treatment when you need it because you're trying to apply for insurance, a situation which has been common in the past.

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

devinsnana — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 15:26:54 -0000
I began to wonder today, what about Long Term Care Insurance do the new laws effect that type of insurance. I have a friend who is diabetic who can not get Long Term Care Insurance because of her pre-existing condition. It also appears to me that the insurance companies are still going to up their rates.

Comment on Has a Pre-existing Condition Kept You From Getting Insurance? Now It's Yours

John — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 10:14:08 -0000
"However, what's different is that you don't have to try to hide a pre-existing condition, worrying that it will prevent you from obtaining coverage." ?

Comment on What the Scary News About Women Dying From Heart Attacks Means for You

Sherisse — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 13:51:29 -0000
Since I taken the time research CHF it has awaking me up on health and life. I loss my Grandmother 2 yrs ago to congestive heart failure. And I justlearned my older sister was diganose with CHF. I loss my dad,granddad,uncles to massive heart attacks at 60yrs old.

Comment on When a Call to Hospice Is a Gift to the Caregiver

Anonymous — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 10:58:45 -0000
Interesting! I'd spent years with my late husband's failing heart and prostate cancer and all of the resulting symptoms, appointments and adaptation in foods, use of time, etc. I also needed to take care of myself.....but, that's hard for a life-long "take care of" person who has already gotten on the "treadmill" of spousal care 24/7. By the time I knew I needed self-care it was too late. And,by the time we got my late husband into hospice he had less than 3 weeks to live. We [primary care physician and I] knew he needed that type of care but he was still mentally "in charge of his own ship" [decision-making] and felt it wasn't yet time. We'd paid into long-term care insurance for years and didn't even get to use it! One of the grief work books I've read since his death quoted a young widow who said (this is paraphrased, since I don't have the book here to check exact wording) "If/whem I remarry, I'm going to have a clause in a pre-nup saying that I get to die first!" How I can relate to that! But I'll go one better: I have no intention of remarrying! I only marry every 30 years, and I figure that there are 6 years left on this marriage. Even without my partner being alive I'll use those years to heal and move on! Surely, by the age of 83 I'll know better than to take on another! My late brother's widow notes "By that age most men are looking for a nurse or a purse" and I'm not going to risk either!!

Comment on What the Scary News About Women Dying From Heart Attacks Means for You

Melanie Haiken — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 19:22:49 -0000
Thanks Marilyn for this info - sounds like a great program and I'll help spread the word!

Comment on What the Scary News About Women Dying From Heart Attacks Means for You

MarilynGP — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 12:12:02 -0000
The American Heart Association has a program called Go Red for Women to raise awareness of heart disease as the number one killer of women and empower women to take charge of their heart health. For more information, see http://www.goredforwomen.org/index.aspx

Comment on Caring for an Alcoholic Parent: A Special Challenge

catlvr — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 01:22:50 -0000
Hi anie, I stumbled on this website after talking to my sister about my mom, her alcoholism, her death. Do you have family you help you? My sister and I shared the burden. Her sisters and relatives didn't want to believe it. She drank since we were in grade school. It's hard, it hurts and you don't know if you should be pissed as hell or feel guilty that you didn't do enough. For your own sanity you have to know there is nothing you can do. Esp. when it's been going on so long. Just love her as much as you can so you won't feel guilty for not doing enough and get therapy for yourself.

Comment on "Chemo Brain" Can Be a Serious Concern for Cancer Patients

Anonymous — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 04:05:59 -0000
I have read the article which deals with new findings regarding the chemo brain.Research has shown that some cancer drugs can, indeed, cause changes in the brain. Imaging tests have shown that in some patients, the parts of the brain that deal with memory, planning, putting thoughts into action, monitoring thought processes and behaviour, and inhibition are smaller after chemotherapy.

Comment on The Skinny on Red Meat: It's Heart Healthy If Not Cured

Anonymous — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 04:24:46 -0000
I eat red mean but its always lean, glad to know which one are better than others, my diet consists of mostly the chicken baked in some different ways with no skin and fat added,

Comment on The Skinny on Red Meat: It's Heart Healthy If Not Cured

j.anthony — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 15:10:13 -0000
What about smoked fish?

Comment on After a Stroke: What to Expect When Life Turns Upside Down

Melanie Haiken — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 02:08:57 -0000
Dear GeraldT and others, I do think it's time to cover the warning signs of stroke again. It's an important issue and still isn't getting enough attention. I'll do some research for the latest info; keep checking back and I'll post on this soon.

Comment on Ladies, Is a Grouchy Patient with Cancer or Another Illness Making You Miserable?

diana711 — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:33:20 -0000
I will check out the book. But, honestly, my husband has Always been agressive. He has told stories, (making them sound funny) in the past about "fighting back to back with his best frind, who was an ex-cop from Boston, in barrooms. He has always been in-charge on the job and used to manage to get up and go to work with his bloodsugar in the 600 range. He has never accepted anyone who cannot do what he is able of. He truly is Hard headed. Yeah, it's a pun but also literally true. He has had numerous accidents where he was hit in the had and never had a problem. Not even a headache. A beam fell from about 25ft and hit him right smack on top of his head. He laughed about it then. When his car slammed into this huge oak tree at least going 60mph he hit the airbag and his nose, and rt eye brow bone were fractured. They expected brain trauma and could find none. No swelling - nada. He has now started losing teeth (a couple were knocked out then) but dental issues may be due to lack of proper hygene after accident and leaching of calcium caused by methadone pain mgmt. He did suffer over 19 other broken bones but no internal damage then. His rt pelvis shattered and was rebuilt with an "erector set" looking metal. Left leg has a rod, rt arm has metal, a finger in full of tiny screws, 4 broken ribs. He came home after 3 mos and couldn't walk up a step. He fell and must have punctured his left lung. It collasped with blood pressing on it in that area. So that had to be partially removed. Later, he had knee surgery, and then a hip replacment on the side of the shattered pelvis. He was in rehab after surgery, doing well and then we found a black spot on his heel. The rehab was stopped while the wound care center treated this which was actually a hole that had developed going into his heel by about an inch deep and as large as a nickle. He still wasn't too bad. But this last yr he has just been impossible. I have cleaned, dressed wounds, gived IV antibiotics (cellulitis before accident) and transported with him shouting intructions on how to drive EVERY TIME WE R IN THE CAR. I never park correctly - from way back, according to him. Funny thing, I havn't had an accident. I am a very good driver. (My father drove for Nascar.) This man is resentful, angry, irritable doesn't do justice to his attitude. But, if I had hit a tree, he would be out working. Would he stay with me under the same circumstances? Who knows?!? I am 10 yrs younger. In the 5 yrs since his illnesses and accident, I have aged so much. I was diagnosed with chronic severe depression and pain syndrone 6 mos after his accident. I am going through menopause with no medical help cause we can't afford insurance for me. I need dental work desparately and last summer I developed thickness under my armpits that has not gone away. I have been having severe hot sweats 24/7. Now - One hour ago, he yelled in a way he ALWAYS has (in a way you have to see and hear to imagine - he is built like a bull - so he bellows. ) at me cause I told him my left hand was totally numb and I have pain in my rt neck and back. He said, "I'll take care of you! I'll call 911 and then I'll come pick you up when they call to say there is nothing wrong with you!" Than he added "Just ask your kids! All you do is sleep! You have slept for the past 15 yrs!" Those are direct quotes. I left the room. My 24 yr old daughter wants me to leave him. She says I have done all I can and he is just an angry misserable old man. She wants me to see a doctor - so do I. My hope is to find some peace. Get some treatment somehow get my teeth repaired. Get fit again. Go and find work doing what I did before - when we met. I was a Financial Analyst for a Co. with assets 1 bil plus. I reported directly to the CFO and CEO. My reports were presented at monthly board room meetings and used for future decision making. Thats all forgotton. In 1989 my salary was $37,000. I do have something to offer society, I must... I am so lost, sad, conflicted, tearful, miserable and still hopeful. I really need a friend. I give thanks to anyone who waded through what I have written. Just putting it down in writing is a 1st step. I'm just uncertain what direction to go from here.

Comment on Ladies, Is a Grouchy Patient with Cancer or Another Illness Making You Miserable?

JedDiamond — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 18:52:45 -0000
Thanks for mentioning my book, The Irritable Male Syndrome: Understanding and Managing the 4 Key Causes of Aggression and Depression. My new book, Mr. Mean: Saving Your Relationship from the Irritable Male Syndrome will be out in May. Visit me at www.MenAlive.com to subscribe to my free e-newsletter.

Comment on Caring for an Alcoholic Parent: A Special Challenge

anie — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:03:13 -0000
I have been carring for my alcoholic mother for 2 years now. It is the hardest thing I'v ever had to do.i FEEL SO BAD FOR WRITING THIS. but she did not take care of me when i was a kid and i needed a mother . All she did was get drunk.

Comment on After a Stroke: What to Expect When Life Turns Upside Down

modernwoodman2004 — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 03:22:37 -0000
Great article. You might want to mention, that every stroke does not come with prior symthoms. I had a stroke in 1994, that left me without been able to do anything. I had NO prior symthoms at all, and all the tests that the Dr. ordered, came back negative. With therapy, today I'm about 95% back.

Comment on After a Stroke: What to Expect When Life Turns Upside Down

Anonymous — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 00:30:28 -0000
Interesting article. My mother had her stroke 2.5 years ago and I heard that vitamin D would also help her. I think I will give the Niacin a try as well since she is paralyzed on her complete right side and is confined to a wheel chair. After having my mother live with my family for 10 months, I moved my mom to an asst. living. yet as the sole caregiver it is becoming more difficult each day to care for her. I am exhausted mentally and physically. Is this natural?

Comment on After a Stroke: What to Expect When Life Turns Upside Down

GeraldT — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 07:17:04 -0000
Great article, but please also frequently provide the warning signs of stroke for both men and women. You could save someone a lot of heartache. When my wife began having severe "migraine headaches" 14 years ago all the many doctors and even ERs we visited dismissed my repeated requests to check for TIA strokes. No treatment for stroke was ever provided. Soon, she was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. Five years later, when it was obvious that she had suffered massive brain damage caused by years of untreated TIAs, a brave neurologist finally bucked the mass of erroneous prior diagnoses and realized it was vascular dementia. Of course, it was too late to make a difference. The cause of death was listed as Binswanger's Syndrome.

Comment on Paying for Cancer Care: What to Do When Insurance Says No

JayP198504-0 — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 01:24:26 -0000
Honestly, if one were to look at medical insurance as an industry, it has been highly effective at making sure that their assets are protected before they go ahead and cover anyone. The only way that you can fight an medical/health insurance company is through the legal route. Most people end who are not treated fairly end up loosing faith and give up on the situation, simply because legal help is priced so far out of their range that they simply just don't have access to the justice system. For those of you who are being taken for a ride by a medical insurance company, I would take a look at the following information about a company that is helping millions of people across the U.S take a stand against situations like this. Follow the link for more information if you wish. http://www.prepaidlgl.net/

Comment on Paying for Cancer Care: What to Do When Insurance Says No

Randy M — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 04:52:00 -0000
The only patient solution to such a health care mess is for patients to seek the expertise of experienced organizations such as Cancer Care Denial Appeals. Their website is most helpful and has a good list of resources. www.cancercaredenial.com

Comment on Stress-Cutting Tip #1: The Checklist

Anonymous — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 06:04:25 -0000
Melanie, I've just read the book too and appreciated both his storytelling skills and his insights. I'd like to see checklists for even more specific things, like 'getting ready for a visit to the doctor' or 'what to do before leaving your spouse with the home care professional for the first time.'

Comment on To Eat, Or Not to Eat

Melanie Haiken — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 22:19:39 -0000
Thanks, Stacy. Hadn't thought to make that connection with soda replacing other foods. I do know people who drink diet soda as a food substitute; then of course later they're so hungry they grab whatever's handy, healthy or not. Great advice.

Comment on To Eat, Or Not to Eat

Stacy Fisher RD, LD — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 21:01:27 -0000
As a registered dietitian, I have to agree with Melanie's conclusion on this one: Moderation in all things. Connecting the dots between diet and disease can be difficult. Research subjects are often required to remember what and how much they've eaten of a particular food. Anyone who has kept a food journal can tell you it's not that easy sometimes. Another important thing to keep in mind about this study is that high calorie, sugary foods often crowd out more nutritious foods. People who consume large amounts of soft drinks may not be eating many fruits and vegetables, which have been shown to reduce cancer risks. Since soda offers no nutritional benefit, it's definitely worth taking a closer look at how much you are consuming.

Comment on Does Caring for a Sick Family Member Raise Your Stroke Risk?

Brax — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 17:48:40 -0000
I can relate to many of the posts here. I am 50 years old and have been taking care of my husband who is 25 years older than I for the past 1 1/2 years. He suffered a stroke (can't use his right side or speak), has aphasia, diverticulitis and cancer, while trying to take care of our teenage daughter, house, work, bills, etc. I have noticed health issues but can't seem to find the time to get the proper tests. He has grown children by prior marriage but they are useless to say the least. I commend everyone who is a caregiver. It is not an easy job. I wish you all good health and the strength to continue helping your loved ones.

Comment on Health Risks from Drinking Soda, Especially for Women

Momma-K — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 23:34:55 -0000
I have CKD and although I have been Diabetic for more than 20 yrs, I am convinced that yrs of drinking colas have had an adverse effect.

Comment on Nancy Kerrigan's Family Tragedy: When Rage and Violence Erupt Between Generations

Anonymous — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:42:22 -0000
What a sad situation. My heart goes out to the Kerrigan family, especially to Nancy's mother. To have your spouse pass on as a result of an action by one's child has to be a terribly difficult situation. How sad that Mark let himself get so out of control with alcohol to inhibit his judgement. Prayers and Hugs to all involved in this difficult situation.

Comment on Paying for Cancer Care: What to Do When Insurance Says No

casey46 — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 23:30:44 -0000
This is your real "Death Panels".

Comment on Paying for Cancer Care: What to Do When Insurance Says No

KathyV — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:18:53 -0000
Thank you, VERY true. It makes my blood boil to think how many people to not challenge their insurance company's bad decision, whether out of intimidation or exhaustion or from simply not knowing that they CAN challenge it. And what is worse, counting on their customers' lack of sophistication is part of the insurance companies' business plans.

Comment on The Top 5 Ways to Protect Your Heart

Derek — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 22:57:25 -0000
I quite agree and will not allow our physician to prescribe statins as I have read all the literature. Derek Barrett, aged 85, Queensland, Australia

Comment on The Top 5 Ways to Protect Your Heart

mustangsally91 — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 16:52:23 -0000
"Statins are considered so beneficial for most of the population that some doctors only half-jokingly suggest that we should put them in our water. Statins are available only by prescription, and can be expensive, but they're lifesavers." Are you kidding? What studies are you using to verify this statement? There's been more studies showing the horrible side effects of statins and how they contribute to heart disease as they lower COQ-10 levels which the heart deperately needs as people age. Read Dr. Susan Larks newsletter. In it she explains how dangerous statins are and especially for women. In studies done in the '90's published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, the Journal of Clinical Pharmacology, and the Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology's letters, it can't stress enough how statins deplete the body of COQ-10 and what is so sad is that doctors only listen to Pharmaceutical Reps. and never take time to do their own research. How many people a day have heart attacks that could have been avoided had they known about COQ-10 but their doctors didn't know either nor failed to tell their patients? It's certainly time for doctors to get with the 21st century.

Comment on Breathing Problems Can Be Cured by Simple Surgery

Scribelle — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 00:41:02 -0000
Ironically, my ear-nose-throat doctor described the surgery for my deviated septum, yet refused to do it. This plus a very floppy soft palate and allergies combine to aggravate sleep apnea. So, every time I go to bed, I am painfully aware that I have 18 incidents/hour while sleeping, yet no one will address it due to multiple medical conditions. Every night I wonder if I will wake up.

Comment on Financial Crises for Caregivers: The Time vs. Money Dilemma

geri/jean — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 07:37:11 -0000
forward all the mail to your mom at the nursing home. My Dad passed away and was tired of receiving 'gimme money' mail with his name on it. She put on the envolpes "return to sender, addressee now resides at *****" the address she indicated was the location of my dad's cemetary and his plot number... amazing how quickly this resolved the problem.

Comment on Family Financial Feud: After My Father Died, My Mother and I Fought Over Funeral Costs

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 17:53:18 -0000
I am so sorry to hear of this horrible tragedy in your life.Your dad ,then your mom and the finances.Some times it seems that circumstances like this just sucks the life out of you. Your mom is probably feeling a lot of different emotions also,Even tho the way she done you was wrong. She apparently is not thing straight because of the grief she is feeling, But just know that the good you did will come back to you.And in the long run you will be at peace with your self.

Comment on 5-Minute Stress-Busters to Fight Cancer and Other Illnesses

tater — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 03:10:32 -0000
HI Melanie, and thank YOU for the valuable information on this site. I have aging parents (79 and 92) and we face many of the issues that are covered and this site is very helpful. I also find much of the info is great to share with everyone. For instance last week you covered the new research regarding high blood pressure (uncontrolled) being linked with dementia. I posted it on Facebook becuase it is something everyone should know. Keep 'em coming, and thank you for support. PS. I guess I missed the part about "5 minutes" when I read THIS article. Yes, I think massage would come under a different category, and many aerobid exercise also.

Comment on 5-Minute Stress-Busters to Fight Cancer and Other Illnesses

Melanie Haiken — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 01:08:02 -0000
Hi Tater, I'm glad this seems like a good list to you. I do agree about massage; maybe I'll write a separate post about that! Thanks for the suggestion!

Comment on 5-Minute Stress-Busters to Fight Cancer and Other Illnesses

tater — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 20:29:22 -0000
Hi Melanie: I really liked this list and can attest that these strategies do help me to reduce stress. I went through a very stressful time last year when our cat died suddenly, tragically, and violently at a major Veterinary School while undergoing exploratory surgery. I was overridden with sadness and guilt for weeks for weeks. The only things that help me through this were getting exercise, petting other animals, and when I could not sleep or relax, listen to some of my all time favorite music via www.youtube.com I would add to your list even more exercise than just one or two stretches (time permittin). Walking, more active stretching, or even chair exercises can work wonders. A therapeutic massage can also help to relieve muscle tension due to stress in the neck and back. I have two friends currently with stage IV cancers that are doing a great job using the techniques (plus exercise) on your list.

Comment on Older Family Members Don't Have Enough Money? New Tool Helps You Find Financial Benefits

BillF — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 19:18:43 -0000
Great post Melanie, I will definitely check out the Benefit CheckUp tool. Thanks for sharing. I work on an eldercare blog and we are writing a series on paying for eldercare. If you are interested, check out http://www.rightathome.net/seniorhomecare. Thanks for sharing, Bill

Comment on Hail, Hail, Heart Patients: an Alternative to a Common Heart Medication

clementi1111 — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 16:53:32 -0000
lets pray dabigatran can be used for mechanical valve patients!!

Comment on Older Family Members Don't Have Enough Money? New Tool Helps You Find Financial Benefits

angel357 — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 01:08:18 -0000

Comment on Does Caring for a Sick Family Member Raise Your Stroke Risk?

safari61751 — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 05:53:01 -0000
I am caring for my husband who has dementia, Huntington's Chorea, dysphasia and COPD. It is frustrating and time-consuming. I am trying to stay involved with my own medical program, but I'm missing appointments, missing my book club meetings, missing my exercise class. Thank you for sharing the article, because now I will make sure I get to my doctor's appointments and things that relax me.

Comment on Does Caring for a Sick Family Member Raise Your Stroke Risk?

ckh — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 19:59:28 -0000
This is so true.I have been my husband's caregiver for over 8 years and my Mom's for 2. My Mom has Dementia and my husband has a severe case of the dwindles. My Mother is in assisted living and my husband is in full time care and has been since July. Last weekend when I was worried about how much he wanted to come home and how he was pressurring me at every turn, it all hit me and my blood pressure spiked to 208/110 a high risk fiqure. I didn't have time for a stroke but I laid down and did some meditation ( and okay, maybe some praying). Had two days of fear and then it stablized. Even after you get some help it's a tough row. My thoughts are with all of you going through this

Comment on Does Caring for a Sick Family Member Raise Your Stroke Risk?

Janet Beeching — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 15:53:19 -0000
This is the first time that I have found anything regarding stroke risk in caregivers. I took care of my Freddie for 8 years as he suffered and died of prostate-bone cancer. He was 5'11'' and 240 pounds when he got his diagnosis, he was 65 pounds at death. He also had a muscle wasting disease and diabetes. I was able to hire nurses while I was at work, and he was under Hospice care. It seems everything was a fight! Trying to get around the clock nursing care from hospice in the first few days of a crisis was nearly impossible, trying to find food he could keep down, changing him, going through surgeries and biopsys and radiation therapy. Getting little sleep because he needed me close and had to talk about things on his mind. Taking care of his bills, on top of my own responsiblities. Make a long story short, the year before he died, he was deathly ill, bed-ridden, and I was hospilitized myself 5 times for serious illnesses, starting with MRSA infection to my brain in January, and ending in an ischemic stroke that effected my vision, memory and coordination in November. Hospice took him into respite care each time, but after the stroke, he was 5 months in respite care while I recovered, and he died before he was able to come home. Not only does the lack of sleep, numerous crisis and having an entire room turned into a makeshift hospital room, with oxygen generators, catheters, stacks of diapers, pain medications and strangers from Hospice visiting and once even having a hospice nurse dip into his morphine and methedone medication, and finding her stoned lying prone in the front yard while he was left alone in the bed, soiled and crying. And all through this, knowing he's dying, talking about funeral araingements, making plans, and realizing you weren't living your lives together, but you are now helping him die. I guess we don't know what we can do until we have no other choice. People said I was brave, but all bravery entails is no other acceptable alternative. What else could be done. I loved my Freddie and he was always a gentle soul to the very end. Three years ago April 13 I closed his eyes to the world and he had a full military honors funeral. I burried him near our grandchildren, and I have the next grave over, we have a double-heart headstone for both our graves. I'm 58, he was 69 when he died. I'm still going through probate with nieces and nephews of his contesting every move. so there's still piles of stress. Again I'm not sleeping well thinking of going to court again tomorrow. Even though he had a will, and appointed me his executor, I'm told his family doesn't trust me. Freddie did, and that should be enough, but they are doing their best to put me through a ringer like I'm an ageing gold digger. His estate is minimal, but they don't believe it, and we can't change their mind with the facts. I wonder where they were when diapers needed changing, emisis pans needed holding, catheters needed changing, medicine given, and gentle meals planned in hopes he could keep anything down. Where were they when the doctor called about 'heroic measures' and I had to tell them that if he could not take food and liquid by mouth not to give him that support, and to ask for terminal sedation in his final days. He lived 5 days after nutrition was withheld. They were in Ohio, we were in Florida. During the time it takes for someone so ill to die, friends leave you alone, not wanting to see him so sick, there is no help you don't pay for, and maybe, if you're lucky, there's a couple of people you can talk to. Helping someone end their life is the hardest thing I have ever done. I loved him with all my heart, and I miss him every day. I wish for the day that this probate is all over and these reletives dissapear into the past. I'm about 80% recovered from the stroke, but everything is so different than before. My best to every one of you out there that has or is helping a loved one. The Torah says this is one of the most important Mitzvas. Another Mitzva I was able to do is to go to the funeral home and wash his body. My son helped to dig his grave. We honored him every way we possibly could. The grandchildren visit the grave, they are little, and they want to dig him up and bring him home again. It's funny to watch them, and sad to have to explain death to them again. G_D bless all of you, thanks for listening.

Comment on Does Caring for a Sick Family Member Raise Your Stroke Risk?

Howcoolrutoday — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 15:37:30 -0000
Clearly the answer is yes though I take issue with the notion that men are not accustomed to this form or level of stress. I would counter by saying that men, in fact, internalize more anxiety than women. Regardless, both men and women suffer the same manifestations in the end (e.g. hypertension, chronic fatigue, depression) – how we get there is almost irrelevant. In my experience, there are nearly as many men providing primary care for their parents as women – and BOTH are equally challenged. I am 52, the only son of two elderly parents, and have been providing increasing and varying levels of care for 14 years. Mother (83) had two strokes - Father (79) has now had two strokes; most recently and sadly, just last week. Mother's 2nd was significant leaving her in a wheelchair and aphasic. Father's 1st minor stroke (6 years ago) resulted in progressively worsened vascular dementia yielding erratic, defiant, combative, abusive, and irresponsible behaviors ultimately forcing me to remove my mother from his care (he refused ALL outside help) and placing her in assisted living with power of attorney. After more than a year of "chasing" down my father, trying to get him help (when he would accept none) and cleaning up his "path of destruction" (that he created without reservation), legal actions were required finally rendering him incompetent with guardianship. While in a hospital this past week, he became violent, was physically restrained, and suffered a massive stroke – a sordid issue by itself. I am also the father of two teenage daughters - good kids with significant emotional issues despite every environmental and therapeutic resolution I could offer. The daily and never-ending grind of dealing with loved-ones’ health and well-being has taken its toll and I fear there is nothing I can do to prevent my own demise - chronic fatigue, hypertension, and the view that every day is sadly “ground-hog” day. With few “support” alternatives, I simply do the best I can for as long as I can with the hope that my parents can find some level of enjoyment in each of their waning days and that my daughters can become responsible, productive, and happy members of the community. I offer the perspectives that the stress of caring for others is genderless and sometimes unrelenting; never under-estimate the value and benefit that a meaningful support network of family and friends can provide; plan your contingencies (i.e. advance directives) accordingly but also anticipate the unexpected; and finally, take care of yourself the best you can and pray your inner strength and perseverance prevail in the end.

Comment on Red Wine -- Or Resveratrol Pills -- May Prevent Cancer Says Strong New Research

mikiomiles23 — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 22:40:21 -0000
You're absolutely right, Melanie. The studies and research surrounding resveratrol continue to press on, and everything I've seen is very intriguing, not to mention pretty much a godsend! I hope research continues to go well. It would certainly be nice to have an exact 15-20 years of healthy life. There's so much to accomplish!

Comment on Beware Triglycerides, the "Forgotten Fat"-- and Easy Ways to Lower Your Risk

Anonymous — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 18:20:52 -0000
Very helpful article, Melanie. Thanks! Now, the trick is going to be how to avoid those cookies...

Comment on Does Caring for a Sick Family Member Raise Your Stroke Risk?

pat_in_nevada — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 18:07:32 -0000
I cared for my Mom who was disabled by short term memory loss. My lighthouse in that rough sea was the book "The 36 Hour Day". It is often updated and it contains so much information about what to expect, what to do, who to seek, etc. Please get a copy if you are a caregiver. Amazon has it http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=a+36+hour+day&tag=mh0b-20&index=aps&hvadid=157578328&ref=pd_sl_8547ouup92_e

Comment on Does Caring for a Sick Family Member Raise Your Stroke Risk?

CA-Claire — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 16:30:05 -0000
What a great article! I always wondered about the toll that Caregiving takes on the Caregivers. I really like the comment about how the male caregivers aren't necessarily under more stress than the female caregivers, just unused to the toll that it takes. I certainly am concerned about my stroke risk after 3 full years of caring for my husband after his severe right frontal lobe stroke (ambidextrousness added to the problems - logic on both sides of brain). Then the stress of him passing away unexpectedly from his open heart surgery. Depression hit hard after the stroke (was nearly non-functional after 9 months) - sought help, and was OK, now on new meds - went non-functional again after his passing. Feel better, and am starting to go down the journey of finding myself again. Have the added problem of now being caregiver for both parents - dementia and normal difficulties that 88 year old people have. Thank you for sharing the article.

Comment on Breathing Problems Can Be Cured by Simple Surgery

Ginny71 — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 04:30:47 -0000
Balloon sinuplasty is explained as less invasive. It was recommended to someone close to me late in the year 2009. It is supposed to help the nasal passages perform better by opening them up. peace

Comment on Let's Talk About Smoking and Cancer

Charlotte ALIG — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 15:44:23 -0000
I was a smoking addict, to the extreme. I took a class in an organization called "Smokenders." It was rather expensive, 30 years ago, it cost 350$, and I took the course with NO expectation that it would work. I was an MA degree psychologist, and noticed quickly that the program was an aid to help break all the habits that stimulate one to smoke. The only way possible to end such a deep addiction. I had smoked 30 years, 3 packs a day for about 10 of them, that was 40 years ago. I am still smoke free. But now, my son, age 50 is dying of lung cancer brought on by smoking...........Charlotte

Comment on Breathing Problems Can Be Cured by Simple Surgery

elissa — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:57:25 -0000
how does this type of surgery relate to balloon sinuplasty? do they use balloon sinuplasty to perform the surgery you're describing? my impression was that balloon treatment had no cutting and the other kind did but your description makes it sound like there's no cutting in the traditional kind. what's the difference please? thanks elissa

Comment on Let's Talk About Smoking and Cancer

uncle joe — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 00:51:30 -0000
One of my kind of "ex-friend" as I realised after trying for more then 25 years to get him to stop as well as other lifestyle issues, health problems mainly his own making my position became an-tenable if I choose not to be an accomplice he wanted me to be. All my energies and considerable skills I developed and use free of charge effectively for those who allow me but not him. His brother said my visiting upsets his brother, and better if I stay away. I noticed the tension of my efforts does not matter how gentle or forceful, ended up unwelcome nuisance for him. I won't gloat how much I have done for him so many ways as he is also a schizophrenic I studied deeply but he became comfortable after getting the new generation Zypprexa with its bad side effects he was lazy to mediate with minor dietary adjustment and increased physical activity which also precipitated type 2 diabetes. There is a smorgasbord of other condition he ignores and tells me his destiny is un-alterable, the genes will do the work God choose him to end his life prematurely and in agony. I held his erroneous belief in check till recently but failed now. I left the friendship without abandoning him, as I will help if I can but not indulging him. No person will collapse trying to stop smoking even when forced. I think it was North Vietnam at the time drug addict who given the option between jail sentence or to get off drugs wre assigned to a Buddhist community held captive and severely disciplined but kicked the habit. He agreed the only way he would give up the fags if forced to. Pity my magic wand gone flat.- It bothers me what is happening and by enduring it taxes me to some extent. If I don't care no problem. And no friendship, nor humanity. While this is not a politically correct thing to say I believe we should use ANY means to get people off cigarettes. In case like these the end justifies the means given it is sensible and not a power-game. It is cowardly and evil to oppose solutions by saying everyone has the right to choose the lifestyle regardless of consequences. Right to become and maintain illness. Luxuriating in comfort that is killing the person and enjoyable murder. The foregoing was secular stuff. Some would say it is up to God to make the person accountable at last judgement. This is TAURUS EXCRETUS! I could be more severe and challenging. I practised being "my brother's/sister's keeper" for many decades. It pains me when I fail. I am also angry at the system that accommodate this abandonment of sick people by not making them accountable for the social support provided which in Australia is a pretty decent assistance. My friend in question is abusing that help.

Comment on Let's Talk About Smoking and Cancer

clearnclean — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 08:20:28 -0000
I strongly recommend Allen Carr's book "easy way" and I think the genetic test is well worth the money as a motivator to stop this horrible self-abusive behavior . Be strong and throw them away . I wish for a day when the world is compleyely rid of smoking.One can only hope.

Comment on Facing Our Fear of Frailty and Decline in Old Age

Meiho — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 21:54:32 -0000
Linda, I share your concerns. Bluntly, I feel we must be prepared in whatever we can be. We cannot assume that friends, neighbors, or the government will take care of us, and if we have no family, it means we are truly alone. It's not a pretty picture. My father has long-term care insurance, but it is of limited duration and amount, and, as the one who manages his finances, I feel like I'm in a crap shoot--do I tap into it now, while he needs a little home health care, or wait until he has exhausted all other resources? I'm trying to learn from his experiences, but the world will change, I fear, in the next 20 years. I think those of us in this situation must do "something" to prepare, but I'm unclear as to what that will be. I'm planning to meet with a financial planner who does not sell any products and see what she recommends. I think we must arm ourselves with education and a commitment to do whatever seems honest, ethical, and pro-active. It's so easy to get scammed with things like reverse mortgages, annuities, etc. I grew up really poor, and my greatest fear is to end up in a smelly nursing home, old, alone, and broke. Let's put our collective heads together and see what we can do NOW.

Comment on Facing Our Fear of Frailty and Decline in Old Age

LindaSD — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 20:19:42 -0000
I previously posted but will address some other comments here. Long Term care insurance...my father bought that for himself and mom. He paid a long time and a high premium. As he and her aged, he paid more and added to the policy coverage. By the time he was 82 and sick, with hardly any money left, when he went into the nursing home my mom could not afford to keep the premium up. They had nothing after his illness. The policy he paid for all those years would only pay $160 a day for nursing home care. Not anything. I had to have my mom stop paying the premium and get him qualified for Medicaid, which he did. So much for all that money and years of insurance premiums. Something to think about. Me, I don't have to worry about planning that way, not enough money to pay for such things. I could barely pay my rent while I was working so planning for retirement or illness was and is not doable. Friends I have in my same situation who are on Medicaid don't get much medical help. So I don't look forward to getting old and being poor. As to the retirement community - most of my neighbors are old widowed women who can barely take care of themselves and not help to anyone else. The younger residents are not willing to be involved in what they see as a "problem" and can get even nasty towards some of the more older residents that need help. Don't count on neighbors for care and kindness. Reverse mortgage - it is just a fancy loan. there are a lot of people who take it out and then after the loan money is gone can't afford to pay their taxes and lose the house any way. The retirement community I live in doesn't qualify for reverse mortgage - we don't own the land. Well, I already know the road I'm going down. Not a pretty one is it?

Comment on Let's Talk About Smoking and Cancer

Suzane — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 18:44:18 -0000
About 87% of lung cancer deaths are caused by smoking. Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer death among both men and women, and is one of the most difficult cancers to treat. It is very hard to detect when it is in the earliest, most treatable stage. ==> http://www.justcancer.org

Comment on Depression and Dependence: When It's Time to Say, "I Need Time Alone"

Anonymous — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:14:08 -0000
i want to know how to HELP the person with the incontinence adjust to the problem..not everyone who has the problem turns to their family for assistance..

Comment on Facing Our Fear of Frailty and Decline in Old Age

Anonymous — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 02:07:19 -0000
Meiho, You speak for me. I have those concerns too.

Comment on The Best Way to Protect Your Health: Take Vitamin D

rmdavid — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 21:13:46 -0000
As Tornado suggested two months ago, now is the time for people to be taking their Vitamin D to help ward off the winter blues. I recently wrote a short blog about SAD and Vitamin D. Your wonderful blog is a great addendum to my blog. Thanks for a great review of Vitamin D and please visit my blog at: http://www.metametrixinstitute.org/post/2010/01/06/Dont-be-SAD-read-this-blog-post.aspx

Comment on Let's Talk About Smoking and Cancer

mikelooney — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:58:21 -0000
Great post Melanie. My grandmother is still smoking and I fear there's no way to get her to stop. Anyway, look forward to following you in 2010!

Comment on Facing Our Fear of Frailty and Decline in Old Age

Meiho — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 03:33:50 -0000
Let's see if I can explain my question better. Your book is called "Stuck in the Middle." Some Baby Boomer caregivers are sandwiched between parents and children. Those of us who have no children have different issues. We take care of our parents, but we have no children who may take care of us. So we aren't really sandwiched--we are at the end of the family line, with no one who may step up to care of us when we need it. (I do realize that not all children take care of their parents.) So, my question is--does your book, or do your speeches, address the issues of people like us who have no children, no brothers and sisters, etc.? We need answers beyond support groups and friends. I'm glad to know there may be more financial "products" coming out soon. At 65, I can't wait too much longer to prepare for my own care at 85 or sooner. On tonight's news, Katie Couric had a piece on how many new cases of Alzheimer's to expect in the next few years--it's millions, especially as us Baby Boomers get to that age. She called it a "crisis" because the health care system is so woefully unprepared. From my experience, I know that there is a crisis of physicians and an impending crisis of nurses. So we all better be prepared to be pretty self-sufficient, have enough money to hire private duty nurses (if we can even find one), etc. Any practical ideas you can share?

Comment on Facing Our Fear of Frailty and Decline in Old Age

Barbara mcvicker — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 03:02:53 -0000
I mainly work with adult children caregivers and corporations. However I want all generations to get prepared and have the crucial conversations soon than later. I am not certain I understand your question. www.BarbaraMcVicker.com

Comment on Facing Our Fear of Frailty and Decline in Old Age

Meiho — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 02:37:41 -0000
Barbara, I've looked at your website. Looks good. Do you deal with the issue of the 2-generation Boomer in your book? Looks like you deal with the 3-generation family. Please clarify.

Comment on Facing Our Fear of Frailty and Decline in Old Age

Barbara mcvicker — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 02:22:21 -0000
I am author of "Stuck in the Middle...shared stories and tips for caregiving your elderly parents". Your fears are universal. We Boomers now realize that we cannot even count on family. Long-term care insurance and other products are worth investigating. Reverse Mortgages and many new products will come available in the next 5 years. Keep informed. Also build a support system of others in the same situation. Who knows, maybe we will all live together in one of our homes! Please visit www.BarbaraMcVicker.com for more information.

Comment on Facing Our Fear of Frailty and Decline in Old Age

Anonymous — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 02:05:20 -0000
This is such an important discussion, but it's so hard for me to think about these things when I'm working fulltime and helping take care of my parents, who are still living at their home with 24-7 care (and their money's starting to run out). I'm 65, no children, very little income, and I bet my husband will die before I do. How can I add to my daily stress by worrying about my own future?

Comment on Facing Our Fear of Frailty and Decline in Old Age

Meiho — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 01:41:08 -0000
Linda, You are I are in a similar situation. I am hoping to move into a 55+ community very soon. I plan to make good friends of my younger neighbors! :-) If I can scrape together the money, I want to investigate a long-term care policy or annuity or something so I'll have some money put away for those "golden years." (Yeah, right.) I'm working with a financial planner to try to set something up. We really need to find out what others our age are doing, or what those our parents' age are doing if they are in our situation. Let's keep chatting about this--it is our future we are talking about!

Comment on Facing Our Fear of Frailty and Decline in Old Age

LindaSD — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 23:55:34 -0000
After 15 years of being caregiver, first to my father before he died and now to my mother, I frequently wonder what will happen to me. I have no husband, no children, and a brother who I don't want help from. I recently had to quit work to take care of my mother. I'm 61. If I outlive my mother, I will have nothing and will be lucky to have anything to live on. Where I live in a 55+ retirement community, so many elderly at my mom's age (89) are alone and end up with caring elderly neighbors to help until they go into a nursing home. They frequently outlive their relatives and their money. It is a sad thing so see happen so often. I have a will and other documents but it won't help if I have no money and no one to enforce the documents. When I think about all the things I do for my mother because she can no longer take care of herself, I don't want to know what will happen if I live that long.

Comment on Facing Our Fear of Frailty and Decline in Old Age

Melanie Haiken — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 19:01:07 -0000
So glad to read all these valuable comments. I do have children, but don't want to put the burden of my care on them that my mother put on me. Those of us with children need to be careful not to repeat our parents' mistakes.

Comment on Facing Our Fear of Frailty and Decline in Old Age

Barbara mcvicker — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 18:58:55 -0000
Yes, Meiho, there is a huge problems for the elderly with no family, estranged family, or family miles apart. A new statistic states that 20% of women age 40-44 have no biological children. The financial downturn underscored your question of "Who will take care of us?" I agree that we need to all have a plan for taking care of ourselves. We are going to need a strategy and also build our own community and support group. Please visit my website for more information www.BarbarMcVicker.com

Comment on Facing Our Fear of Frailty and Decline in Old Age

Meiho — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 18:10:32 -0000
Barbara, Thanks for your comment. You talk about 3 generations having a plan. What about those of us who are the "end of the line?" There is no generation beyond mine to look after me--I have no children, no siblings, no nieces or nephews. Will we have to pay a case manager to do what I am doing for my father (take charge of bills, etc.)? While there may not be many people in my situation, there must be enough that our needs should be addressed someplace!

Comment on Facing Our Fear of Frailty and Decline in Old Age

Meiho — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:01:07 -0000
As caregiver for my father who has dementia, I see the wisdom of these recommendations. Luckily, he and I were able to have some of these discussions before he needed a high level of care. As I've traveled this road with him, it has brought to mind my own future and the need for planning. As a single woman, without children or grandchildren, without siblings, I am alone in the world. At 65 and retired, I need to look down the road and ensure that I provide for myself so that when I need the kind of care my father is now receiving, I'll be emotionally and financially prepared. It is very scarey! At the moment, I have to deal with him, but I also see the need to be ahead of the Baby Boomer curve in finding a continuing care facility and making sure that I have the means to pay for it.

Comment on Anti-Cancer New Year's Resolutions

Melanie Haiken — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 21:32:21 -0000
thanks for the suggestion, Anonymous. I actually was just outlining a piece on stress reduction; I'll get that done soon!

Comment on Anti-Cancer New Year's Resolutions

Anonymous — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 00:12:39 -0000
Melanie, Thanks for making this simple. I've been trying to do most of this in the last few months (including actually letting myself get the 15 minutes of sun a day). The one that I don't see on the list is reducing my stress. It's a bit more diffuse. I'm not sure how to attack it, so I'd love you to take on the top 5 things to do there (and make something else simple for me). Thanks and happy new year.

Comment on Depression and Dependence: When It's Time to Say, "I Need Time Alone"

catherinemarie65 — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 00:14:11 -0000
oh you can say that again.. I had never thought about that... but yes its like when people lull their kids to sleep by bringing them for a ride... I don't drive I never have.... mine would fall asleep to the sound of the vacuum and the sound of the dryer.... they could still probably sleep through an earthquake lol noise never bothered them... they didnt get that from me lol

Comment on Depression and Dependence: When It's Time to Say, "I Need Time Alone"

Melanie Haiken — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 23:32:10 -0000
So glad everyone found this post helpful. Another friend in this situation told me yesterday that she sometimes puts her dad in the car and just takes a long drive to give herself a break, since dad likes to listen to the radio and tends to fall asleep in the car. Reminded me of the days we used to put the baby in the car and drive around around til she fell asleep; weird how many parallels there are!

Comment on Depression and Dependence: When It's Time to Say, "I Need Time Alone"

jonce123 — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 16:59:20 -0000
I can really relate to this post; my 95-year-old mother came to live with me 3+ years ago; since my husband had recently died, I thought I could use the company. I'm not sure it was a wise thing. My life is not my own; although I get a little reprieve by working full time (and having a really caring & supportive boss), once I go home, I have no life. My mother, of course, is isolated--unable to go anywhere (unless I take her)--because she gets frightened and so belligerant (everything is MY fault); therefor, I am pretty much isolated--although I have made it a habit to go to church. Not only is my faith helpful, but it gives me a chance to be with caring, loving people. Also, I take a vacation day once a month--just for me--and I do all the things I want/need to do to stay sane. (I can relate to the 30-minute trip to the grocery store feeling like a vacation!) As time-consuming/energy-consuming as things are now, I am thankful everyday that my mother is not as ill as some others; however, she makes up for it by being hateful.

Comment on Happy Holidays to YOU; 5 Ways to Care for Yourself This Christmas

KevinC — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 15:56:01 -0000
Great article. I work with caregivers and a common situation we are always trying to prevent is caregiver burnout. It can easily become overwhelming and all consuming. Respite is also a great option, if it's available, to give caregivers time or themselves.

Comment on Depression and Dependence: When It's Time to Say, "I Need Time Alone"

Anonymous — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 11:21:46 -0000
Oh my goodness I know this feeling oh too well... I have been caring for my mentally ill mother since I was 13. 30+ years later and shes still with me but has Parkinsons,and physical disabilities too. I am chronic depressed and partially disabled... My husband and I barely ever get to do anything unless one of the kids are home to stay with her. She has to be watched 24/7 because she becomes worried and scared and then starts panicking and going crazy. She ends up calling everyone we know and getting them to worry. example... New Years eve me husband our 12 yr old daughter and I went out to the mall and then out to eat.. it took longer than we had expected so we ended up being gone 4 hours... when we got home shes was all panicking and talking crazy and found out she had called everyone under the shining sun... people were calling back to see if we were back and if she was ok... its driving me nuts... my husband and I have never been able to go away for more than a night, no one will sit with her that long because they feel shes a nuisance... shes not a nuisance to me because I'm use to it... But anyway back on track lol this article and all the ones I read here have been helping me cope with my Mum and cope with my own issues as well.... thank you! my heart goes out to all of you caregivers I feel your pain indeed.

Comment on Depression and Dependence: When It's Time to Say, "I Need Time Alone"

PlanetJanet — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 22:28:07 -0000
Caring for my mother with moderate Alzheimers, while coping with my own chronic depression, often leaves me feeling helpless and hopeless. I need these reminders to just take a positive action for myself. I can handle this, and be better for it, by remembering my life, my comfort and my happiness is important too.

Comment on Depression and Dependence: When It's Time to Say, "I Need Time Alone"

Oreoo — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 11:21:08 -0000
thank you, awesome advice, article, helps to soothe my soul, relieve my guilt, sometimes just a thirty minute trip to the grocery store feels like a vacation

Comment on Cancer and Dementia Together -- a Deadly Situation

SallyC — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 23:49:04 -0000
I was troubled with this article when I read the question "Does having dementia diminish someone's quality of life so much that they shouldn't bother with treatment for cancer?" This is an inflammatory way of discussing the issue ... assuming that the choice not to do testing, procedures and surgeries is always "not bothering". As the daughter of 2 90+ parents with various conditions and mid to late stage dementia, I think the only humane thing to do is consider the quality of the days they have left and make decisions that will make them comfortable and keep their cognitive and physical abilities at the highest level possible. This often means foregoing things like colonoscopy or any invasive diagnostic procedure that only makes them go out of their comfortable environment, possibly have anesthesia that can make for big mental setbacks and creates an enourmous amount of anxiety and possibly pain. We need to face the fact that all the medicine in the world will not make people live forever, and we need to allow the physical body to pass on at some point. If you don't want them to die of the cancer they have once dementia sets in, what do you want them to die of? There has to be some consideration of quality of life and quality of death for every person.

Comment on Happy Holidays to YOU; 5 Ways to Care for Yourself This Christmas

Feeling alone — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 19:28:46 -0000
Good for you! I devoted my time to my mother instead of the rest of my family and when she was asked how her Christmas was, all she had to say was, not so good. Also, the rest of my family felt neglected. The worst Christmas ever! Will do it different next year!

Comment on Cancer and Dementia Together -- a Deadly Situation

Oreoo — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 21:04:51 -0000
my father is 73 and has aliz., he can no longer reconize pain, he cannot always verbalize his needs, he nearly died from a uti that went septic, 3 months later kidney stones, it took us nearly six weeks to figure out what was going on, the removal of the kidney stones was very hard on him, he thought we were being mean on purpose, denied being sick, said we were all crazy, we didn't sleep for 3 weeks, reguired min to min care, had stent in kidney for 2 weeks, he understood none of it, I will not put him throught anything like this again. no chemo, no surgery, no radiation, he doesnt understand and he thinks we are torturing him. May God help us, but you have to draw the line somewhere. The treatment scares him, he doesn't understand why we put him through what we put him through. We will be very selective in the treatments that we allow, wieghting the trauma and benefits to him.

Comment on Happy Holidays to YOU; 5 Ways to Care for Yourself This Christmas

KathyV — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 16:33:00 -0000
So very true! I also gave myself permission this year to do MY family's holidays things first, instead of getting my parents squared away first. My father exhibited his usual cantankerousness and my mother her usual weepiness when I said I could not come over NOW, but would be by in the morning to help decorate. And it was one small step to feeling a little more in control, if not actually acknowledged.

Comment on Senior Fraud Alert: Beware Financial Planners With Shady Credentials

Anonymous — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 23:13:09 -0000
Mr. deNapoli's defense of the CRFA (Certified Retirement Financial Advisor) course may be absed on his position on their board. Depsite his claim that most people receive this training in person the course is not scheduled for any upcoming live presentations and is currently available ONLY by correspondence. More important is the fact that the CRFA course was developed and owned by Larry Ira Klein a financial advisor who was found guilty of stealing from the elderly bt the SEC and who lost his own license to sell securities. Klein also had unlicensed people in his office as found by the NASD. Klein also closed his sales company and left many customers with thousands of dollars in lost payments. Klein is a scam artist- how could a course he developed be any different?

Comment on Senior Fraud Alert: Beware Financial Planners With Shady Credentials

Jonathan — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 23:12:12 -0000
Mr. deNapoli's defense of the CRFA (Certified Retirement Financial Advisor) course may be absed on his position on their board. Depsite his claim that most people receive this training in person the course is not scheduled for any upcoming live presentations and is currently available ONLY by correspondence. More important is the fact that the CRFA course was developed and owned by Larry Ira Klein a financial advisor who was found guilty of stealing from the elderly bt the SEC and who lost his own license to sell securities. Klein also had unlicensed people in his office as found by the NASD. Klein also closed his sales company and left many customers with thousands of dollars in lost payments. Klein is a scam artist- how could a course he developed be any different?

Comment on Do Drinking Coffee and Tea Prevent Diabetes?

tillary — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 15:56:09 -0000
Good news, especially for coffee drinkers...One problem: coffee and most teas can have a dehydrating effect. So when older folks, like my 87 year old mom, who are also trying to minimize increasingly difficult trips to the bathroom, rely on coffee and tea for fluids,at the exclusion of enough H2O, the result is a drying out that has been shown to contribute to memory loss and other dementias, not to mention higher blood pressure and constipation. If one could find a way to inspire our senior to drink enough simple water or at least juices, then the benefits of the coffee/tea might find a balance with their "downsides". Thanks!

Comment on Anti-Cancer Superfoods: Do They Really Work?

suziecupiedoll13 — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 19:32:03 -0000
The antioxidant properties of the ACAI berry are the highest in orac score of any food. This can be found in the best tasting blend of 19 fruits in the easiest form for the body to absorb. The product you will feel the difference in your health and well being is called MONA VIE. It is a Premium product, not all products are the same....... This is a patented process that is used, there is nothing like it. It is available to buy wholesale at http://www.mymonavie.com/productswithapurpose. There are only about 5 products, but when they do it, Mona Vie does it right. It will cost you about 4.65 per day.....just so you know. The cost of good health these days, is priceless. Prevention is the key. Go to the website and check out the info there. There are products that help joint pain, and one that helps heart health(cholesterol and blood pressure) Give it a try today! As with anything, be consistent and committed, and it will work.

Comment on The Best Way to Protect Your Health: Take Vitamin D

vijay sonar — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:44:47 -0000
recently i suffred from pain in my kneejoints,one frnd of mine suggested to hv sun-bath (for vita-D),regularly i take sun-bath for about an hour n day by day i m feeling better than yesterday,.pl advise me ,,should i hv more than one hour,,if u advise i can devote more time,,,,,,,,thanx

Comment on Is Loneliness Among Older Adults Contagious?

Anonymous — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 01:19:58 -0000
My sister moved in with my parents years ago because she had no money. My dad died and now my sister's negativity has turned my positive Mom into Mrs. negativity right along with my sister. It's awful to watch. Mom used to always think the glass was half-full. And it's not her age - when Mom visits me for a week, she reverts back to her "old" cheerful self! But I can't take her in to my home permanently - it's not close by and it has stairs. I hurt for my mom as she becomes more and more "grumpy" as a result of living with her VERY negative daughter.

Comment on Is Loneliness Among Older Adults Contagious?

ladl77 — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 23:49:08 -0000
I believe this is right on target as I have witnessed it in my mother like Daizie. For years, my mother has turned down invitations to our home for holidays and family celebrations such as my kids' (her only grands) birthday parties. When she did come in their early years, she acted like she'd rather be anywhere else...witching about absolutely everything. It was as if the happiness around her was horrible. She always complains about everything and everybody. I try really hard to have conversations that are positive but she always dashes my plan. She has never been happy and has driven all her friends away. She is now in assisted living after numerous strokes and the inability to live alone. Unlike Daizie, I cannot let her live with us as it would destroy our home from the inside out. I refuse to do that to my children...I remember what living with her was like. She was "friends" with a sister-in-law until her health declined and my cousins asked me about her negative attitude...she was bringing their mom down with her. I confirmed their suspicions...the negativity was spreading. I pray I do not act that way as I age.

Comment on Meaningful Ways to Save Money at Holiday Time

Jenny1105 — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 01:42:15 -0000
I get my grandchildren together and make ornaments the stick to the refrigerator. I use old CD's, construction paper, glue, cotton balls, old buttons, hole punch and ribbon. We also make puppets. We use paper lunch bags, construction paper, glue, old buttons, cotton balls and colored markers. We have a great time.

Comment on Is Loneliness Among Older Adults Contagious?

Daizie — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 21:18:46 -0000
I have been thinking this all along with my mother. I think she has pushed away her friends by being this way. They watch her from a distance but they don't want to call or visit and hear her going on the way she does. She and Dad had a load of senior friends but after he died; she said if they don't contact me-then too bad. She won't make the move to contact them. She is lonely and depressed which also brings on a certainform of dementia. I have a place for her in my home but she won't come. for a long time she really got mean and took it out on me that she was in this state of mind. Now she is coming around. I feel sorry for her but there is nothing I can do if she won't start helping herself. Every one of us has to want to be part of society. We need to watch what we say to others not to turn them away from us.

Comment on Is Loneliness Among Older Adults Contagious?

tater — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 16:30:49 -0000
It amazes me to read this in print, but it is certainly what I have observed in life. It is tough being around people who are grumpy all the time, complaining and ultimately possibly dampening the mood of those around them. Though I am not Buddhist, I am wondering if "training" some of the lonely folks in concepts of Zen Buddhist could lead them to understand that they can be empowered to change their experiences and attitudes via introspection, rather than waiting for some "external" force to bring them happiness. I have read about Zen Buddhism because I am an artist who enjoys Chinese Brush Painting, and many of the concepts of Zen Buddhism (meditation, introspection, reduction of neediness on others, respect for others, appreciation for simplicity, reverence of nature) bring me great joy. This orientation can even help those in chronic pain.

Comment on Family Financial Feud: Does This TV Plotline Sound Familiar?

Melanie Haiken — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 02:16:25 -0000
Dear Butchiegirl, I'm sorry you're disappointed; what questions did you need answers to? We have a lot of resources on Caring.com, and many experts available to answer your questions. Just let us know what you need.

Comment on Health Risks from Drinking Soda, Especially for Women

sassyjp — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 22:21:00 -0000
I've been drinking pepsi since i was 21 up to 12 cans a day now I'm 60 and my bones are good and I'm in good health and weight.I also smoke.all it is for some people is something else to complain about.It's not what you eat and drink its in your body.I had a sister that was a health food nut and she died at 47 with pancreas cancer and didnt drink go figure

Comment on Beat the Holiday Blues With These 5 Stress-Busting Strategies

jorie13 — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 18:41:05 -0000
To: KMFK15 So sorry for your loss. No way to avoid the pain but treasuring memories and realizing that separation for Christians is really short can help. I did read a book on heaven and now think of my sister off road motorcycling and having fun in heaven waiting to teach me this (when I won't be afraid of being hurt). My church has grief recovery sessions which have been a great help. I will pray for you.

Comment on Meaningful Ways to Save Money at Holiday Time

CA-Claire — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 17:02:07 -0000
These are great ideas! Especially the movies. It is also great to have Holiday Music playing throughout the season. Classics like those from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and the Alvin and the Chipmunks make for lighter moods in the holidays.

Comment on Beat the Holiday Blues With These 5 Stress-Busting Strategies

CA-Claire — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 16:43:32 -0000
My husband passed away this year, so this will be my first Christmas alone. We had only had 10 Christmas' together, but they were the most brilliant Christmas times that I had ever had. The last 3 years were difficult due to his stroke, but having him was so special. Now taking care of Mom and Dad (both with different symptoms of dementia), life is difficult - no husband to chatter my stress away with. Siblings don't necessarily wish to hear about the difficulties - they're all long distance anyway. These tips are the best that I've seen so far in the 2 years I've been watching for things like this. I am so thankful that we have this forum to support each other.

Comment on Beat the Holiday Blues With These 5 Stress-Busting Strategies

colleen2 — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 23:21:43 -0000
The stress and certainly sadness gremilns are always with me. My answer to that is to pray - that works for me. I took care of my mother for eight years and they were hard years both physically and mentally. When she died, I had a 3rd heart attack in December so you know I need Coping skills. when my sister died of breast cancer and my nephew came for Christmas, I did everything wrong working to create the perfect Christmas - yet take care of Mom and attend to Mom ( it was her last Christmas). I can say I wish I had this article available.

Comment on Beat the Holiday Blues With These 5 Stress-Busting Strategies

kmfk15 — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 14:29:57 -0000
I found this article to be very helpful. I lost my husband of 36 years this year. I don't plan on doing up the house or tree. I am not interested. I will be with my children and grandchildren and not in my home where christmas was every year. I can't set myself up for memories that will never be anymore.I thank God that my children want me.So God one and all and keep busy but also take care of yourself.

Comment on The #1 Medication Mistake People Make in Cold/Flu Season

not myself — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 01:17:19 -0000
Certainly one of the most important meds notices ever posted anywhere! Most nartotic pain meds are listed as #/#, with the second number being the non-narcotic active component--and more often than not, it is acetominophen (tylenol). Check your meds, and those of your loved ones carefully! What good is taking all this stuff to stay alive if it's killing you daily OD by daily OD in the meantime?

Comment on The #1 Medication Mistake People Make in Cold/Flu Season

the only sibling who cares — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:55:58 -0000
I am seeing this happening to my mother whom denies it. Ihave gone as far as counting the pain medications and recounting but she willnot admit to it and I have tried to explain to her that this is dangerous. My father use to get mad and yell at me but he knows it now and just shakes his head. Neither of my parent take their medications properly. I do not want o takeover their life but they are not going to be around if the Dr. does not know what is going on. They get mad at me for talking to their doctor and he even took up for me none of the other siblings are helping or doing anything. When your parents sleep all day there is something wrong, She was dignosed with Dementia 1 year ago I found out I just got on her HIPPA form. No one sees her going downhill Ilive with them and see it daily repeat the conversations over and over because she did not understand or forgot it. she ask me the same questions with in 20 minutes so I think the Doctor is correct. She made the statement the I made her feel like she was stupid. their house flooded and I was the only one here to take care of it she gave me permission to handle all of the repairs and insurance company was informed to work / go with me. Bills come in and there is a problem she will pay it or ask me to take care of it. Our dishes are dirty after she washes them and 3 of us have had upset stomachs...... from old refrozzen foods and I willnot eat things I know could contain bacteria and it makes her mad I usually just say I already ate thank you but no thanks. I'm at the end of my ropes some days and other are fine. I just do not like the mean days.

Comment on Are There Early Symptoms of Pancreatic Cancer? Yes!

Anonymous — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 16:49:06 -0000
it was my understanding that Swayze had a tumor in his pancreatic duct - so did I - A mucin producing tumor the size of a marble - I was in a pre-cancer stage. Bending forward to stop the pain is something I and my father both did. One thing I experienced and not mentioned in this article is I often had an urgent need to void my bowels either while I was eating or immediately after a meal. I also had dizziness and nausea as time progressed. CT scans can not always show the tumors - or the radiologist can miss them when they're small. After my first pancreatic episode it was 5 years or so before I had a second one - that was when the CT showed an obstruction in the duct. I had a 60% chance of developing cancer. I had whipple surgery to remove the tumor. Google the whipple surgery if you are not familiar.

Comment on Are There Early Symptoms of Pancreatic Cancer? Yes!

hshatz919 — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 13:46:22 -0000
This easy informative to me and in these days of growing self help and less dependence and trust on doctors than we had years ago when we actually and and felt and accurately that they DID care about you it was good reading.. Now, while waiting for a 2 minute visit while paying 750 a mo, for health insurance in the northeast you really have to be more cognizant of symptoms that could be life shortening. Especially for a man in his late 40's.

Comment on How to Choose the Best Nursing Home: Look for a Nonprofit

Eldercare Advisor — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 15:55:08 -0000
The moral of this story is that realistically, there are many options and it is very difficult to categorize the community based on the type of ownership. I have certainly seen quality Skilled Nursing Communities managed by both for profit and not for profit management. You need to do home work, inquire with friends and families as to personal experiences and most importantly tour, tour, tour each community. I can offer a free assessment and list of options in your area based on your sepcific care needs and preferences. My name is Donna Zimet, EA. I can be reach at 877-606-0370

Comment on 7 Ways to Support Someone With Breast Cancer

Anonymous — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 03:50:45 -0000
I so appreciate the way this was written. As a breast cancer patient I truly thank you for writting this.

Comment on 7 Ways to Support Someone With Breast Cancer

Anonymous — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 03:49:13 -0000

Comment on Family Financial Feud: Does This TV Plotline Sound Familiar?

Vicki In Wonderland — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 15:15:24 -0000
I would have liked to seen that TV show, even if it was somewhat unrealistic at the end. Both my aging parents have Alz. I care for both at home, they live with me. I know the time will come when I will have to place them into a facility and it will not be easy. For me I will probably not say too much about why they are moving to the facility. They will not be able to reason and would do us no good to debate it. They will kick, cry and have meltdowns I'm sure for the first week or month. Because it is a big change. I dealt with this when I first took them to our local adult daycare center. After 4 visits they got use to it and now dont mind going at all. I simply tell them I have to go to work and I'll be back to pick them up afterwards. By the third time they pleaded with me to not leave them there. I felt very guilty, and stressed over it all day! I was going to stop taking them, cause I felt it wasn't worth it. Now I'm glad I didn't give up so quickly. Life is better when I get a break. I'm also rearing a 3 yr old daughter and I need to devout time to her too. It's a horrible feeling when I have to ignore their pleas and feelings. It feels like I'm invalidating them. But what we must remember is that now they no longer can see what is best for them and we do, and must carry it out no matter how much the kick and scream..... I'm the parent now.

Comment on Family Financial Feud: Does This TV Plotline Sound Familiar?

greendeere40 — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 15:09:24 -0000
I was a caregiver to a 61 year old female, non-verbal and was born with with Down Syndrome and retardation. I took her into my home in May of 1996. She had lived for 41 years in an institution and then was placed in a group home for 3 1/2 years before we took her. For 11 1/2 years she lived with us until November of 2007. My husband and I grew to love her as one of our children even know she was an adult. 2006 she started showing signs of dementia and was starting to show signs of having seizures. As the year wore on she showed more signs, ie: not being able to feed herself at times, we had to help her walk, sometimes my husband would have to pick her up and carry her. She was forgetting how to get around. As the following year progessed she got to be more work. We had to finally decide if we should place her. We took time to see where she might get more care seeing I was burning out. This was very hard for us to decide. But with others and her doctor they said this was the best for us and for her. Its been two years an we still miss her even though we see her from time to time. This has been hard to do because she doesn't even recognize us any longer. We think of her often and all the love and fun we had with her. We will always keep her in our minds and heart. ~Missing her~

Comment on Family Financial Feud: After My Father Died, My Mother and I Fought Over Funeral Costs

bradleau — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:47:27 -0000
Some familys do not plan ahead. Recently our neighbor died of liver cancer. From diagnosis to his passing, it was quick. His separated wife came back to care for him the last week. They have a son who is a senior in high school. She has her health issues. This mans brother took on the expense of the funeral. He has had to do this for two other family members. Not fair. But he does it as a duty or final goodbye. In our case, we paid for the funeral of my husbands brother. His wife said she would pay us back. Never did. It took over two years to get this back into our retirement fund. Then less than a year ago, his sister died. We could not contribute even a dollar. I had a long battle post surgery with complications, and my husband got laid off. Only both of our planning and paying out for insurance, doing without a lot of stuff to make sure we had health and disability coverage,kept us out of bankruptcy. I know we who end up paying the bills can get upset with the spendthrift family we get stuck paying the bills for. They have the big screen TV's , a million cable channels,new cars....while we do without. Not always the case, but often it is. Funerals are priced differently. Customs differ. What is important is why you felt the need to go all out on a funeral. And why your mother seemed to be unrealistic as to how much these things cost. A plot can be bought at a discount thru those who have had family connections change. Our family "owns" two separate plots in two different states. Only the buyer/family can use them. And only with permission or thru inheritance. Kind of crazy. My husband and I have a prepaid plan/insurance. If we can go cheaper than the policy, then that is a bonus. But what is guarenteed is certain things will be done for this cost.

Comment on Family Financial Feud: Does This TV Plotline Sound Familiar?

Butchiegirl — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:23:54 -0000
I'm disappointed. Read this article hoping for answers and all it did was ask our opinion. I need answers.

Comment on Breast Cancer Controversy: No More Routine Mammograms for Women Ages 40 to 49?!

Anonymous — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:29:26 -0000
I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer on a routine mammogram at age 49. I had always done self breast exams and on the day of the mammogram received a "clinical" breast exam. Nothing was palpable. I had no risk factors. When the mammogram returned suspicious and I was sent for further testing, I questioned why there was no palpable lump. The radiologist showed me the images and the cancer looked like little white flecks scattered throughout the breast. He said it would have been a long time, if ever, before an actual lump could be palpated. Thankfully since it was my 3rd mammogram - I had not religiously gotten them annually from 40 - it was caught early. It was a very aggressive triple negative cancer. I proceeded with bilateral mastectomy and chemotherapy. I am absolutely certain that mammogram saved my life and have talked with too many others since starting this journey with a similar story. Money has to be the ONLY reason for this new recommendation in my opinion!!

Comment on Breast Cancer Controversy: No More Routine Mammograms for Women Ages 40 to 49?!

beatbreastcancer — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:58:00 -0000
I was diagnosed with stage 2 ductal carcinoma breast cancer 4 days before my 46th birthday. After a lumpectomy to try to conserve the breast, they found that there were not 1 but 4 DIFFERENT breast cancers, like beads on a string, in my body, the surrounding tissue was full of precancerous cells, and the sentinal lymph node was involved. I had a full mastectomy, my ovaries and tubes removed, chemo, radiation, and a series of reconstructive surgeries. I am now 48, and I truly believe that, if my cancer had not been found by my YEARLY MAMMOGRAM, I would be in the hospital with widespread cancer now, or I would be dead. I have a husband and 2 children, now 11 and 9, plus a mother, 4 brothers and 1 sister, who are glad as can be that I'm still here and now cancer-free. Are these money-grubbing idiots trying to tell me that my life cost too much to save?!?! No one on the panel was an oncologist, but they had 2 pediatricians??? I am so outraged by this recommendation; I can't help but wonder if any of these people have had any experience at all with breast cancer in their families or friends. I have been recommending to everyone I know to get mammograms, and am now telling them that, no matter what this "panel" says, their lives ARE worth spending money on!!!!! Get your mammograms, ladies, learn how to do a self-exam and get your gynecologist to check you yearly. Husbands, families and friends, support your loved one in this. YOU HAVE EVERYTHING IMPORTANT TO LOSE! God bless all.

Comment on Family Financial Feud: After My Father Died, My Mother and I Fought Over Funeral Costs

liu_fengxi — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:33:46 -0000
I am sorry for the loss of your father, and I'm glad your experience with him in his last years didn't taint your good memories of him. However, this sounds like an argument about money, which is imho always the hardest thing to discuss in a family---more than sex, death or marital discord. If I were in your place, I would back off for awhile and not bring up the checks your mother received or the costs you had to take on with your father's funeral, especially with the holidays coming up and your own family to worry about. Your mother was under a lot of stress while she was the primary caregiver for your dad, and the funeral was probably the last thing she wanted to deal with when he died. (A hug for you for taking that task on!) It is unfair that you had to bear the brunt of the expenses, and you might not ever be repaid for your grief. But your mother may be hanging onto the money out of fear that she'll end up homeless and with no one to look out for her, a common feeling among recent widows. If you can overcome your anger towards her, try reassuring her that she won't be alone and she can still rely on you for support and help. I should add that if the checks were made out to your mother, then perhaps they were meant for her to use towards whatever expenses remained after your father's death. In East Asian cultures, it's traditional for people to give money at a funeral to help pay for the costs. That's probably of no comfort to you since your mother didn't help you with the bills, and a memorial fund dedicated to your father would be more in keeping with your father's wishes than your mother just depositing the money in her savings account. But remember she's grieving for a husband as you are grieving for your father. She has her own way of dealing with her feelings, and as a widow myself, I know it's important to respect that.

Comment on Men, Women, Illness, and Caregiving: A Recipe for Divorce?

Karenmom — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:53:56 -0000
In 2007 I was diagnosed with tongue cancer (NEVER SMOKED!). Naturally at first my husband of 26 years was devastated but I told him I was not about to give up and die. I had too much to live for(him and our two teenagers) and he needed to help me thru it and did he ever! I had several surgeries,including the removal of most of my tongue, chemo,& radiation. My husband was extremely supportive and was with me through everything-driving to the cancer center(150 miles away), bringing me to every radiation treatment, stopping along the way so I could be sick to my stomach-everything. He took over bill paying, fielding phone calls, total kid duty(school, practices, meals). The cancer now thank God is gone but there are so many left over effects(cant eat, cant speak right, chemo affected hearing....) but my husband is still here and still makes me smile when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I couldn't have made it without his love and support.

Comment on Breast Cancer Controversy: No More Routine Mammograms for Women Ages 40 to 49?!

Melanie Haiken — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:38:21 -0000
Thank you for this wonderful comment; you present an important perspective, that of the caregiver and husband.

Comment on Breast Cancer Controversy: No More Routine Mammograms for Women Ages 40 to 49?!

Husband of Survivor — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:43:44 -0000
My wife was diagnosed with Breast Cancer at the age of 48 through a mammogram. Prior to this, she had gone through two biopsies spanning about 6 or 7 years, which isn't a trivial procedure, as those that have gone through it well know. If my wife had not actually been diagnosed with cancer, I may have agreed with the findings. Now that's she's had cancer, surgury, Chemo, radiation, etc. and is in recovery, we are hoping for a long, enjoyable life ahead. Without the mammogram, I'm certain things would have been much different based on how aggressive the cancer was (which I understand is common in younger women). I strongly encourage all women to disregard the new recommendations and get checked regularly. Your life may depend on it.

Comment on When Chemo-Brain Won't Go Away

beatbreastcancer — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:52:49 -0000
I'm a 1+ year breast cancer survivor, and I still have chemo brain problems, all mentioned earlier. I'm really worried, though; my mom has Alzheimer's and is about in the middle of its progression. I'm afraid that, since Mom has Alzheimer's, maybe I have the possibility lurking in my brain as well, and something about the chemo or the cancer (hormone positive) has kick-started or sped up the development of Alz. in me. I'm going to go to my doctor and discuss it with him, see if I can get checked by a neurologist or something. All of you with chemo brain, remember; there are lots of us and you are most definitely not alone. We are praying for all of us. God bless us all. Lisa

Comment on When Chemo-Brain Won't Go Away

Anonymous — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:52:52 -0000
My husband has chemo brain also. I've had to take over lots of things he used to do. His doctor does not seem concerned. He is better when he has more sleep and rest. Its a difficult situation, good luck all!

Comment on The #1 Medication Mistake People Make in Cold/Flu Season

not myself — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:58:10 -0000
This is "must have" information. I am fairly well versed in a good bit of pharmacology, but had never given much thought to the ramifications of the effects of the "PM" versions of multi-symptom treating OTCs. Thank you!

Comment on Family Financial Feud: After My Father Died, My Mother and I Fought Over Funeral Costs

Anonymous — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:29:03 -0000
This is such a tough situation. It's hard enough to grieve the loss of your dad without having to deal with less-than-pleasant family dynamics. It's too late for advice about designating with the funeral director how the expenses will be paid, but I, too, hope like the above respondent, that your mother will offer some recompense for your sacrificial giving. One thing that seemed a little amiss to me though, was the part about the contributions. Usually those checks are made out to whatever charity(ies) was designated in the obituary, in which case your mother would not be able to cash them. Perhaps if you "confided" to one family member or friend what has happened, that person could spread the word to any others interested, that if they were planning to make a donation, it should be sent to you. It would also help to let the funeral director know that, as he/she frequently gets calls from people asking for the wife's address for that reason. In this case, the funeral director already knows that you paid some of the costs and wouldn't have a problem giving your address. I hope this works out for you and maybe in time, you can change your mother's focus by asking her to tell you about the GOOD times she had with your father.

Comment on Family Financial Feud: After My Father Died, My Mother and I Fought Over Funeral Costs

Anonymous — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:37:43 -0000
I am sorry for your losses, both of your father and for your previously close relationship with your mother. It sounds as though your mother was exhausted to the point where she was no longer herself, and it is no wonder, considering that she had to give and give and give for so long, while bearing your dad's constant complaining. And considering what your father had to bear, health-wise, it is no wonder he complained. Perhaps in time your mother will be able to reconcile those stressful last few years with your dad, and remember the better times as well. Maybe she needed something for herself after so long. Maybe she was more worried about money or about being alone or about resenting having to be a saintly nurse than she has shared with anyone. Maybe she could not bear your father's death, after she had been his spouse, and then worked so hard for so long to guard his health. Hospitals and funerals have different effects on different people, but for some, these places make the unthinkable too real. No one can change what happened in the past, but I hope you can forgive your mother for her unseemly behavior. She may be embarrassed about what happened by now, and may be avoiding you for that reason. She may even be avoiding you because she cannot bear more conflict, especially considering that her actions have proven to be so unpopular. It is never too late to start that memorial fund for your father, or for both of your parents, for that matter. In time, if you have the resources, you may wish to do that. You may even recoup your share of the funeral expenses, eventually. My husband's mother recently repaid him for his father's funeral, which took place in 1995. She had insurance money to pay for the funeral, which was expensive, because he, too, was the most popular guy in town, and they had to accommodate lots of people. However, she was exhausted and feeling financially insecure, so my husband was stuck paying for all of the arrangements. It has taken years before she felt secure enough to repay him. But she did it! Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

Comment on How to Celebrate the New Year -- with Cancer

SandwichINK — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 14:31:52 -0000
Hi, I read this article last year and really enjoyed it. So much so that I bookmarked it to share with my readers at SandwichINK this year. Thank you for some great points to think about and talk about to your family if you are dealing with cancer or even with other debilitating issues that come with the territory of senior home care. Have a blessed Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's! :)

Comment on Family Financial Feuds: When An Out-of-Touch Sibling Resurfaces, Is It for Love or Money?

cmacp — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:30:31 -0000
Galowa; Your comment about watching the life and vitality drain out of the person you love explains the pain of caregiving in a nutshell.

Comment on Family Financial Feuds: When An Out-of-Touch Sibling Resurfaces, Is It for Love or Money?

GALOWA — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 02:30:00 -0000
This is NOT a HARD SITUATION. Do your DUTY to your mother. TELL your mother about Betsy's reference to MONEY. Your mother may be dying, but she's NOT DEAD, and she DOESN'T have Alzheimer's disease. Your mother is NOT a fool. TELL your mother you know she loves Betsy, and that YOU love Betsy, too. But TELL her Betsy is not JUST back for a family reunion to make your mother happy, but that she has ulterior motives. REMIND your mother of all the heartache Betsy caused in the past, the funeral she missed, the money she took, repeatedly, AND the money she now hopes to get. REMIND your mother that ALTHOUGH BETSY IS BACK, SHE HAS NOT CHANGED... TELL your mother that you are worried about Betsy taking advantage of your mother at a time when she is emotionally and financially vulnerable. Talk to her about the need for SOMEONE to have Power of Attorney, ESPECIALLY now that Betsy is on the scene, AND tell your mother that you are worried that Betsy may try to take advantage of your mother financially, because she has already made an effort to get money from YOU, and also because, as everyone knows, that's what Betsy DOES! Arrange for an older female estate attorney to visit your mother at home to discuss her final healthcare wishes, her designation of a Power of Attorney for Finances and Healthcare, and any special arrangements she may wish to make in her will - including an extra bequeathal for the daughter who cared for her, and a managed TRUST ACCOUNT for the daughter who cannot seem to manage her own affairs. In situations such as these, the responsible sibling is often made trustee for the inheritance of the unstable one. THEN - TELL your mother that Betsy has shown up at a time when YOU too are emotionally vulnerable, having cared for your mother and having been there for her - STILL being there for her - for so long, it hurts you to think that Betsy can simply SHOW UP expecting everyone to simply include her and trust her "LIKE SHE NEVER LEFT." REMIND your mother of all the sacrifices you have made OUT OF LOVE, how CAREWORN and TIRED you are, and how resentful you feel toward Betsy when she shows up near the end of a long and painful road you and your mother have traveled TOGETHER, without anyone else's help. And TELL her how it has felt for you, her DEVOTED daughter, to daily watch her mom's health slowly deteriorated, robbing her of her vitality - stealing the very life which YOU have shared with her at its happiest and mourned with her while it slowly and painfully ebbed. MAKE SURE YOU TELL HER that Betsy HAS NO RIGHT to pretend she cares as much, that she loves as much, or even that she deserves as much - to be called "daughter." Been there, done that. My heart goes out to you... Galowa

Comment on Family Financial Feuds: When An Out-of-Touch Sibling Resurfaces, Is It for Love or Money?

cmacp — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:37:49 -0000
Sometimes it seems a crime that relative inherit by law even though they don't act like family. Simply by an accident of birth, a wayward sibling or step child who never paid a visit while Dad was ill, can now surface and have 'rights'. Oh well.

Comment on The Best Way to Protect Your Health: Take Vitamin D

tornado — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:38:32 -0000
I totally agree with this article, but you left one thing out. Recent research shows that it also helps with S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) aka Winter Depression, so I increased my daily intake to 2000mg last year....I figured it couldn't hurt. Prior to this I was taking 1000mg for my bones.

Comment on Family Financial Feuds: When An Out-of-Touch Sibling Resurfaces, Is It for Love or Money?

Melanie Haiken — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:08:51 -0000
Wow everyone, thanks for the great comments and advice. I can tell you've been there! I will have another "family financial feud" this week and would love your input on that one, too.

Comment on Family Financial Feuds: When An Out-of-Touch Sibling Resurfaces, Is It for Love or Money?

Anonymous — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:08:56 -0000
Is there a way that you could tell your sister that all of your mother's money is going toward her care and you don't expect there to be anything left of her estate? I would get her lawyer how to protect her assets. I feel for you. My ex went through something similar with his aunt. She just swooped in, forced his g'mother to sign a POA, took everything out of the bank, sold her house, put her in a home and walked away. He found out when he tried to pay one of her utility bills and the check bounced.

Comment on Family Financial Feuds: When An Out-of-Touch Sibling Resurfaces, Is It for Love or Money?

chere — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:47:16 -0000
A really hard situation. I had a sister like yours. she only called or came by when she needed or wanted money or something material, didn;t call/write/visit for the holidays, missed birthdays ect. My sister died this year at the age of 45 from a heart attack. As aggrivated as I got with her, I wish that I could still talk to her when she felt the need to contact us. It is so sad. I have step sisters and brothers that ignore my step dad, I am responsible in taking care of their belongings and the such when they die, my step siblings will be greatly surprised to learn that they have nothing to gain from the parents, talk to your mom, work out with her what she wishes to have done with what ever is left when she is gone. for my parents after all the bills are paid for and they are buried, their property will be sold and the money givne to charaties. Works great for me as this is what THEY want.

Comment on Family Financial Feuds: When An Out-of-Touch Sibling Resurfaces, Is It for Love or Money?

beatbreastcancer — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:26:01 -0000
Wow, what a rough situation! Family conflicts are the most distressing for the people involved, so much love/anger/sadness/desperate hope. All the answers I've seen have been good and cover everything I thought of, so Patricia, just know we are here for you, and I hope and pray things will be worked out with the minimum of distress for your dear mother and you. God bless and keep you all.

Comment on When Chemo-Brain Won't Go Away

Lola — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 20:03:45 -0000
My mum had chemo a year ago and is still having memory loss, poor concentration and other such difficulties. Even though this article doesn't offer a solution, it's reassuring to know that she is not alone in this. Particularly as she is 70 this year and has been fearful that her problems could be due to the onset of alzheimers as opposed to linked to her treatment. Lola

Comment on Family Financial Feuds: When An Out-of-Touch Sibling Resurfaces, Is It for Love or Money?

suzannemcneely — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:53:48 -0000
To the extent possible, it would be best that your mother not be in the position that your sister can benefit from trying to influence her or create tension in order to benefit herself. You might want to have a conversation with her about allowing whoever she most trusted to pay her bills or take over as her financial agent if she has powers of attorney or a trust in place that provide for a successor to herself. Putting a wall between the money and your mother's vulnerability at this time in her life is for her sake. Should she really want to make estate changes or gifts at least she would have an advocate who could talk to her and ascertain the validity and independence of her decisions. it might be best that person be someone else other than you if it would make everyone more comfortable but that is your mother's choice obviously. It is not unusual for older women to have confidence in men managing their finances due to age old beliefs. Is there a son-in-law who might be a good neutral? You might consider contacting her counsel and involving them in discussing options for "protections" with her so there is no appearance of your influencing her. Good luck. I see this every day in my work as a geriatric care manger.

Comment on Family Financial Feuds: When An Out-of-Touch Sibling Resurfaces, Is It for Love or Money?

CA-Claire — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:45:26 -0000
Wow. What a tough situation. I believe that I would be very careful in speaking with Mom about Betsy. If finances come up, I would gently remind Mom that Betsy's past contacts have been about money rather than family. Mentioning the reference to an inheritance, hopefully Patricia knows the details of Mom's estate and the distribution of assets plan. Remember Patricia, that you have the memories and the knowledge that you put family first. I hate to say it, but it's only money. There's a similar situation for me. My husband passed away 10 weeks ago. There was almost no money - just a small 401(k). His oldest son has been out of contact for over 10 years (disappeared out of state), but recently showed up unannounced in May this year, and started texting and emailing his Father (I am second wife). His children are unaware that his Father's will left everything to me, and if I predeceased him - everything went to his grandchildren - rather than his kids. One of his 3 kids and his family keep in contact with me and see me frequently, even though they live an hours drive from me. Just got a text from prodigal son last night - makes me wonder if he's just wanting to see what his Dad's estate is.... We'll see. Best of everything to Patricia and her Mother. I'll be Mom knows more about Betsy than she lets on.

Comment on The Best Way to Protect Your Health: Take Vitamin D

Kristarr — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 12:49:50 -0000
I started taking Vitamin D over a year ago for bone softening issues related to RSD. It has helped that in addition to helping my immune system. I go to the tanning bed in the winter to help my body synthesize the calcium. My health has improved just from one vitamin

Comment on Family Financial Feuds: When Mom or Dad Is Gambling Away Financial Security

Anonymous — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:13:51 -0000
Good for you. I am glad that you were able to handle it on your own. While I agree that people should be open minded and believe that it CAN be done on their own, I also believe that it is equally as important to be open minded enough to understand that there may be people in the world that aren't like you and can't just do it on their own. Everyone is different. People who can stop on their own DO and those who can't (or think they can't) either continue with their addiction and allow it to destory their life or they get help. By the way, if you can "handle" going only a few times a year and only spend "$20" when you do go - maybe your 'problem' was less of a 'problem' than you think. If it only got out of control and you were able to pull control back in -- it is less likely that you are an addict and more just someone who got out of control who pulled it back in. Addiction is a real disease. If it weren't - insurance wouldn't cover it.

Comment on Family Financial Feuds: When Mom or Dad Is Gambling Away Financial Security

msmaddog — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 15:48:38 -0000
I understand that gambling can be a huge problem (I was a casual( bingo, keno) gambler for years, caused me many problems. I decided to quit on my own (it is possible)and have never regretted it. I do occasionally go to a local hall, $20 only. When it's gone so am I.I go about 3 times a year. My real reason for writing is why should kids expect something from their parents, that the PARENTS worked hard for, I have seen so many close friends families torn up over what they were entitled to?? after Mom or Dad pass on. Who r these people? Who raised them? Some are real monsters could care less about parent just what's in it for me!

Comment on Family Financial Feuds: The Case of the "Borrowing" Sibling

Zada — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 22:34:50 -0000
Mother is 87 in good health. Spends 3 to 4 months a year in each of here (3 out of 8) children. She accumulated some wealth through the years, saving them by-the-penny. All three brothers are very kind to her, but two out of the three are spenders of their own money and not penny-savers... the 3rd one (myself) is a good money manager and she realize I appreciate the value of the money... she decided to write in her will all of her money to me... All 3 good brothers are financially comfortable and love our mother, but her choice to be biased to only one child (myself) caused lots of trouble... pressuring her to be fare to at least the three of us, whom she spends part of the year their houses, makes her very mad and says " I spent my life saving my money very carefully, and now they will spend most of it in few months..." should I ignore her will and (god give her long life) when she completes her life... just distribute the money evenly on 3,,, or even on all 8..... dilemma... None of the three need her money... especially me... we are all doing ok..... as a joke you probably saying in your head.. well send the money to me... several "sheakhs" already suggested that....thanks for your advice joe_zada@yahoo.com

Comment on Family Financial Feuds: The Case of the "Borrowing" Sibling

Carolyn L. Rosenblatt — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 19:03:02 -0000
There may be more to the legal picture than has been discussed so far. In some states, the use of one's position ("loving" relative, trusted son, etc.) to gain influence over how an elder uses money for the benefit of the relative may be a crime, too. "Undue influence" is part of financial elder abuse. Sadly, it does happen at the hands of family more often than anyone outside the family. If the level of "borrowing" or taking or persuading an elder who can't say no has reached the point of financial harm to the elder, it's time to consider reporting this to Adult Protective Services, or equivalent in your community. This can tear families apart, but the elder's financial welfare has to take priority over any concern about the freeloader's embarrassment or consequences. Some freeloaders bankrupt their elders. Take the "borrowing" and helping one's self to Mom's funds seriously. It can be a violation of the law and financial elder abuse. See an elder law attorney for advice if this is what is happening in your family. Carolyn Rosenblatt, R.N., Attorney, AgingParents.com

Comment on Family Financial Feuds: The Case of the "Borrowing" Sibling

Anonymous — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 23:54:43 -0000
This blog answered a lot of questions for me. You totally described my freeloading sibling. Now I understand his condition I won't stress myself so much. I know what to do now. Thank You..

Comment on Beware Red Meat, the New Cancer Risk

Kym — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:19:32 -0000
How about Venison? (deer meet hunted in nature). At our home, we rarely eat beef, but instead use venison that we are able to hunt successfully in Michigan. Is it the way the beef is produced or processed with hormones and chemicals? Or is it just the (red) of the meat. Venison is browner than red when we process it.

Comment on Swine Flu Deaths: Keeping Sane and Safe

Anonymous — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 19:52:27 -0000
Melanie, I really appreciate your coverage of the H1N1 vaccine. Truly, the knowledge your spreading here did make me worry less. It's so rare to find reporting on H1N1 that doesn't deal in hysteria or a desire to grab readers. I really thank you for clearly stating the high-risk categories and what to do about getting access to the vaccine.

Comment on How Family Caregiving Can Save You Money on Your Taxes

JoyceT — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:33:43 -0000
That would be good to know. I'm caring for my husband, age 53 (early onset) and I am 52. Hope all is well with you :)

Comment on How Family Caregiving Can Save You Money on Your Taxes

houcyn — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:22:28 -0000
Would this tax break help me if I am caring for my husband with Alzheimers. He is 75 and I am 63?

Comment on So Your Parent Wants to Move In With You -- Can You Afford It?

ann54 — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:40:02 -0000
I am lucky to have a 94 year old father with all of his facilities. Having him live with us for the last ten years has taught my children the importance of family, tolerance and kindness. It hasn't been easy, the bulk of the care and time is on me. My sibs do not share the weight and it is causing some stress in my marriage. Make sure the the primary care giver is appreciated! do something extra to support that person. Realize that the sib needs a break even if it is not convenient for you.

Comment on Top 10 Breast Cancer Prevention Tips

58744152005 — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 21:55:49 -0000
Here's a fascinating podcast on the very subject... http://www.democracynow.org/2009/10/13/author_barbara_ehrenreich_on_bright_sided

Comment on Top 10 Breast Cancer Prevention Tips

rbt — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 20:36:12 -0000
i want to take issue with your point 3. your accuracy data on mammography is incorrect (it is much more reliable than indicated), and mri and/or sonograms are only indicated when a mammogram is inclusive. virtually no insurers will pay for a mri or sonogram unless specifically indicated by family history or an inconclusive mammography report.

Comment on Prevent Diabetes By Treating It Before It Starts

Sue K — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 04:57:59 -0000
Thank you for the great information in your article. I really enjoyed reading it. I like to learn what I can about diabetes, I recently found a site that has great information just like yours at www.defeatdiabetesnow.com. Thank you once again.

Comment on So Your Parent Wants to Move In With You -- Can You Afford It?

An Hour 4 Me — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 19:42:14 -0000
Sue, Take the time now to locate appropriate care facilities including independent living. You are sooo right if mom is already becomming demanding it will worsen when she has unlimited access. This could also damage your new marrage. First talk to your husband. Be sure that you have his unwavering support. Remind the siblings that you too are now married and in the same boat they are. You are not being selfish you're being sensible. You might consider asking how their respective spouses would have felt newly into a marrage to be facing this. Since she has some financial independence, it makes sense to look now into good continuing care for when the time comes.

Comment on So Your Parent Wants to Move In With You -- Can You Afford It?

CA-Claire — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:40:37 -0000
Wow - I have been so blessed with a wonderful family. Last March when we moved our parents to the city that I live in (pretty much against their will), I had not really thought about any of the things talked about in this article and these comments. We moved them to a VERY nice Independent Living facility, which also has an Assisted Living area that they can move to if needed. My siblings all pulled together, and we each helped in the way that best suited our talents and our individual relationship with our parents. I, the youngest of 4, took care of the medical care and collecting medical records, choosing the facility, chose new medical providers, and assisted with the packing/moving of their home of 34 years - my speciality with that was keeping track of what was sentimental, and what was just 'stuff'; My sister (oldest) coordinated the movers, and assisted with hospital 'sitting' when Dad was in for a week and had hospital psychosis (I took the owl shift (10pm - 7am and made sure I was present when Dr or Nurse Practitioners were there), and kept track of the moving expenses, plus coordinated what we needed our two brothers to help with. The brothers helped with keeping Mom and Dad up at their 'new' place while the old place was packed up and moved, and provided some support during the move as well. Now, one brother that lives 40 miles away comes once a week to have dinner with them (even after a full days work), I see them frequently during the week, and my sister and other brother visit approximately quarterly and for special occaisions. When my husband passed away recently (I had been his caregiver, and worked full time), my siblings all pulled together and helped with Mom and Dad for the first week, so that I could have time to take care of those things that have to be done post unexpected death. My siblings helped me enormously with Mom/Dad care and with helping me around my home to make sure that I was OK. We have talked about the amount of time I have to spend taking care of Mom/Dad, and they are working out a plan to have me paid a monthly stipend from them for the things I do. It's wonderful to be so well watched out for, when for most of my life, I felt that I was the annoying little sister. Thanks for listening.

Comment on So Your Parent Wants to Move In With You -- Can You Afford It?

BillF — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:38:49 -0000
Great post Melanie, That is kind of a sad situation that your friend is in. Sorry to hear it. I have to agree with you though, that defining better ways to fund eldercare is the way it has to be. I agree with #6 get some outside care help because everyone needs days off of caring to just relax. I work on an eldercare blog that discusses these issues and we are currently writing a series of "paying for eldercare" stories. Check them out at http://www.rightathome.net/seniorhomecare. Best of luck to your friend, Bill

Comment on So Your Parent Wants to Move In With You -- Can You Afford It?

SueD — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:33:13 -0000
Oh, boy. This is a volatile topic for me. I am trying to plan ahead; My elderly mother wants to move in with my new husband and me because she is widowed and lonely. Her personality has slowly changed to be whiny and demanding. She wants to be waited on, either because of her heart (pacemaker) or her diabetes (Type 2). Her health is not so bad that she needs assistance but hints that will be the case soon. She can afford to pay her own way but my new husband is aghast and appalled. This was not what he was expecting. I can't really blame him but this puts me in a bad position, and to be truthful I am dreading the possibility. We don't have a separate living area so she would be right in the middle of everything. My siblings think I am the logical choice because neither of them have room in their houses, and before I married, I took care of Dad who was a stroke victim. (And, years ago, my former husband, who was a cancer victim.) When I go back and review what I've just written, it sounds selfish and not so bad but I know this will escalate soon and I will have a crisis on my hands. Any advice?

Comment on So Your Parent Wants to Move In With You -- Can You Afford It?

Anonymous — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:20:10 -0000
How about sending the absentee siblings a bill? Use the above system to determine where things are at and when the siblings refuse to participate, send them a bill. Firstly will raise ire in a hurry then while you have their attention secure commitments real ones with actual working drop dead dates failur on their part means thy have nothing to say about her care. NOTHING. If needed you arrange to deal with financial matters yes all of them and make judgements with her doctors/attorneys to get her the best possible care without it killing you. I know this sounds harsh and it is.But Frankly, too many absentee siblings cause caregivers outragous guilt and pain. most of it unnecessary if caregivers push back a litle. the sooner the better.

Comment on Top 10 Breast Cancer Prevention Tips

tobylee02 — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:26:37 -0000
Two years ago the Canadian Cancer Society recommended that everyone take vitamin D3 to prevent cancer. The data on vitamin D preventing cancer is now as extensive as that on smoking causing cancer. Take a look at www.vitaminD3world.com for some good summaries of the data. How is it that folk still dont know about this and it gets no coverage

Comment on Senior Fraud Alert: Beware Financial Planners With Shady Credentials

Melanie Haiken — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:29:31 -0000
This was just one short post, and I plan to address more of these issues in future. I realize that some of these credentials, if added to the deep background of being a certified financial planner. However, my information, which was accurate, came from lawsuits filed around the country by people who have been defrauded by people with just the aforementioned credentials, so I believe this can stand as an important warning. The same goes with the insurance companies listed; yes they sell valuable policies and are represented by reliable agents. But they are also the companies turning up again and again around the country in class action lawsuits, and that's a red flag. Several of these lawsuits single out these companies for their pushy tactics in presenting products to seniors who may not need them or benefit from them. Again, I believe knowing this is useful to people as a warning to be cautious and investigate thoroughly before purchasing.

Comment on Flu Alert: 10 Warning Signs That It's Time to Call the Doctor

calalillie — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 22:39:59 -0000
This is so superficial! Speak with MD offices and you get a total line of this...they have stock answers for everyone while having files available. Your once over lightly here attests to a flippant attitude with nurses, care givers...and then MDs. The medical system is in distress, and if confronted with the care & concern put out like this article, it would be long time dead.

Comment on Senior Fraud Alert: Beware Financial Planners With Shady Credentials

BillF — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 19:19:24 -0000
Great post, I work on a blog that discusses senior aging in place ideas and in-home care. We are writing a series on scams that focus on the elderly. If you are reading this and want to learn more, check out that series at: http://www.rightathome.net/seniorhomecare/?p=297 Keep up the great posts, Bill

Comment on Heart Health Alert: Higher Stroke Risk for Women With Atrial Fibrillation

Brate Smith — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 11:31:53 -0000
Although many people think of heart disease as a man's problem, women can and do get heart disease. I was in the same misconception regarding the heart disease, but was made aware by a medical checkup campaign. In fact, heart disease is the number one killer of women in the United States. It is also a leading cause of disability among women. The most common cause of heart disease is narrowing or blockage of the coronary arteries, the blood vessels that supply blood to the heart itself. This is called coronary artery disease and happens slowly over time. It's the major reason people have heart attacks. Prevention is important: two-thirds of women who have a heart attack fail to make a full recovery. The older a woman gets, the more likely she is to get heart disease. But women of all ages should be concerned about heart disease. All women can take steps to prevent it by practicing healthy lifestyle habits. Actually, right now I am suffering from a blockage in the coronary artery and was once blocked up to 85%. I got the stent implantation which is a mesh like spring which is used to broaden the artery and hence restoring back the blood flow. You can see further information regarding stent operation from www.heartsite.com/html/stent.html. I got to know everything regarding my stent operation from this site. I was really unaware of such a blockage. I sometimes feel dizzy, restless, lazy , but thought that to be something related to mental ability, and hence never worried about it. Once I got my basic medical checkup at Elite health medical office in Los Angeles. The ECG report went to be something suspicious. So, they advised me to have further advance diagnosis to determine and assure regarding the problem in the heart. After my MRI , CT scan and other such scans it came to me as a shock that I was facing a problem of blockage. It was quite surprising to me, and as I was not aware of anything regarding this, I was really frightened. The doctors explained me every information regarding my health and its treatment, and suggested me to have stent operation. That was some dreadful days of my life, which I faced only because I was careless about my health. It was my luck that I somehow went for a basic checkup at elite health, but every woman out there may not be so lucky.

Comment on Flu Alert: 10 Warning Signs That It's Time to Call the Doctor

daccarte — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 19:47:32 -0000
Thanks for the post. One thing I've not seen covered is how long is a person contagious to others ... prior to and also after symptoms?

Comment on Senior Fraud Alert: Beware Financial Planners With Shady Credentials

P Frederick deNapoli — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:38:46 -0000
Dear Ms. Haiken Thank you for your recent article, Senior Fraud Alert. We as an industry need to keep a constant vigil in this area. However, your details were a bit off the mark in several important areas. For example, the broad stroke with which you condemn six entire designations as “fraud” was just that, very broad and generalized. I can only speak about the CRFA, Certified Retirement Financial Advisor, designation, but I can assure you that the curriculum involved in this program is of great value to senior clients across the country. I’ve been a CFP (Certified Financial Planner), a designation you apparently highly approve of, since 1991. However, when I took the CRFA course it was quite a revelation. The amount of overlap with the CFP material was perhaps 10%. The time I spent in Dallas taking the classes, and studying the very thorough written materials that accompanied that training, was time very well spent. I am confident that my clients have benefited greatly from its additional knowledge and insight. The specific areas that were not exactly accurate in your report include: 1. Many, if not most, CRFA candidates take the classes in person, not just via correspondence. However, even those who choose to only receive the materials and self study still have to pass the same exam. The exact same thing is true for CFP candidates. 2. Yes, the exam is multiple choice, but so is the CFP exam. 3. A simple exam? Maybe not so much. While not as comprehensive as the CFP exam it is in far greater detail and requires far greater expertise in the retirement planning area than the CFP. And true enough, “if it sounds too good to be true….” is a reasonable rule of thumb. However, lambasting an entire sector of the financial service industry with such broad strokes, based upon what was obviously limited research, is hardly a rule of thumb our collective parents would have endorsed. P. Frederick deNapoli, CFP, CRFA Peabody MA

Comment on Senior Fraud Alert: Beware Financial Planners With Shady Credentials

pwood — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 19:48:33 -0000
I too am very concerned about frauduless representation among financial advisors, and as such have done my homework on the issue. In doing so I recognized some errors in Miss Haiken's treatise. First, the Certified Senior Advisor is a genuine certified credential, not a fraudulent one. However, if this is the only professional or advanced credential utilized by a person dispensing financial advice,then I would go somewhere else. The credential CSA can be earned by professions from many walks of life that work with seniors, such as medical counselors, spiritual counselors,attorneys,and financial specialists. It's not a bad credential but it does not confer expertise in financial matters unique to seniors, and if a financial advisor has this credential in addition to other financial specialized training and credentials such as CFP, CLU, ChFC, etc., then it is a definate plus. The same goes with the Certified Retirement Financial Advisor. This organization is currently becoming certified by the same organization that certified CFP and CSA. You can learn more about what these credentials mean and the advisors that obtain them can offer at their web sites; www.csa.com and www.crfa.com. Pertaining to the insurance companies listed, Miss Haiken suggested that they endorse fraudulent credentials and by association support financial advisors holding fraudulent credentials and are involved in scams. She is way off base on this. All insurance companies have lists of approved credentials that their agents or financial advisors can use when representing their products to the public, or when holding public forums. The companies specifically say that advisors cannot use any credentials not on the approved list. Most companies have their approved lists on their web sites. I have found that the best financial advisors are those who are independent and not affiliated with or paid by a financial investment, insurance, or brokerage companies, that have been in business for at least 15 -20 years, and that have an understanding of the differences in the unique financial requirements and outlooks of senior versus folks who are still working. A good advisor will not only know about sensible investments, but also about taxes and estate matters, and be willing to conduct meetings that include the seniors children present.

Comment on Heart Health Alert: Higher Stroke Risk for Women With Atrial Fibrillation

Rita.Rupert — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:34:45 -0000
I have had atrial fib for approx 10 years - In June 2008, I had a small blood clot in my brain, thank God my husband was home and got me to the hospital quickly and I got the tpa drug, which worked, and I am so lucky to not have any side effects. I am on blood thinners now. I have been on atenolol and rythmol for several years and it still did not totally control my atrial fib. After I had the stroke, I requested a sleep study and was diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea. Since April (5 months ago), I have been sleeping with a CPAP machine and I have not had one atrial fib since I've been using the CPAP. I went on the internet and looked up Atrial Fib & Sleep Apnea and was surprised to see how these two things can go together. When I told my heart doctor, all he said was that yes, sometimes AF is caused by sleep apnea. I asked, why didn't he tell me that instead of pushing meds and ablation. I just wanted all of those 22 million people who have AF to know about this and to get a sleep study to see if they have apnea and need a CPAP machine. Amazing what the drs. don't tell you! It took me about 3 weeks to get used to the CPAP machine, but now I sleep better and feel better and would not be without it.

Comment on Why You Should Worry When Your Parents Mention the Word Annuity

Anonymous — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 05:41:52 -0000
Saying that Annuities are in all cases bad for seniors is absolutely wrong. the above article, pitching class action attorneys at the end, sounds highly suspect to me. We all know that someone nets about $6 from any class action case! The big winners are the attorneys! Back to the annuities -- if you thing that 3-8% is a HUGE commission, you know little about the insurance field. there are other products, such as wrap accounts that pay upwards of 18% for the first year and additional commissions thereafter! Are annuities right for someone with lower incomes, probably not. But to classify that they are wrong for ALL seniors fails to consider their individual position and goals. And while they do, often, carry a guaranteed death benefit, they are NOT the same as life insurance. Absolutely, take your time, and know the product you buy, that is the buyers responsibility, after all you are signing a contract. KNOW what you are signing, but for heavens sake, don't lump all seniors' and their needs into one category.

Comment on Why You Should Worry When Your Parents Mention the Word Annuity

HandiAnn — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 13:06:11 -0000
I unfortunately helped my parents sign up for a fixed annuity when we went in to buy some CDs at our local bank. I didn't understand what we were buying and couldn't reach my brother, who might have known more. I STILL feel guilty about it. I will NEVER forgive the bank for talking us into that. We were able to get our money out after six years, but the trust I had with the bank is gone forever. Annuities are INSURANCE policies, and pay a BIG commission to the salesperson. SHAME on the sellers for taking advantage of seniors. My big lesson is TAKE YOUR TIME to research something if you don't understand it. Don't give in to high pressure sales.

Comment on Coenzyme Q10 Supplement Shows Promise In Preventing or Halting Parkinson's

arizonababydoll2 — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 17:15:09 -0000
My father is 71 yrs old and was diagnosed with Parkinsons a year ago. I try to get information ont he dieases and try to keep him imformed

Comment on Coenzyme Q10 Supplement Shows Promise In Preventing or Halting Parkinson's

arizonababydoll2 — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 17:13:46 -0000

Comment on Are There Early Symptoms of Pancreatic Cancer? Yes!

dkp2654 — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 11:23:27 -0000
This article was so informative for me. To my surprise, I do have a couple of these symtoms and I am going to see to it that my doctor have me tested for this type of cancer. Thank you!

Comment on Are There Early Symptoms of Pancreatic Cancer? Yes!

one flower — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 09:45:31 -0000
My husband died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 58. Some of the symptoms that were mention, my husband had, at stage 4. He did not have early symptoms. He had gone to the doctor in November of 05, they found the tumor on the head of pancreas in December. He was given a year and a half, he died a year and a half later. He did not have early symptoms.

Comment on Patrick Swayze's Last Wish

one flower — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 18:45:23 -0000
My prayers to his family. My husband was 56 when he was told he had pancreatic cancer. He passed away after 18 months of the disease. This is a terrible cancer, I wish that a cure will be found soon.

Comment on Patrick Swayze's Last Wish

betsy ross — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 08:15:59 -0000
As on who was married to someone who lost a father to lung cancer at 36, I can identify with the loss that those who question God at moments such as this in taking a life so young really in comparison as he was. And by the way smoking was not what his family members blamed for the death, although he was a smoker - but five other members of his immediate family also died of cancer in one form or another, and many very young so genetics too played a part. I just hope they can find the gene eventually and maybe that will lead to the cures, rather than always blaming either lifestyle, or the luck of the draw. Because if it is genetic, than that luck and gene just might be changed.

Comment on Financial Crises for Caregivers: The Time vs. Money Dilemma

msann13 — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 08:14:18 -0000
Well if this was a perfect world than maybe we as caregiver would have help with taking care of your love ones but it is not. I am the oldest of six and I have been caring for my dad for almost seven years. Not even a vacation. You can not make grown people do anything so I have told myself it i what it is and i take care of my dad because I am all he has.

Comment on Patrick Swayze's Last Wish

countrygirl94_lookin — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 03:00:37 -0000
First my deepest sympathys go to his family and friends..I would like to say that he was a very kind man from what i seen and to have someone pass on after making so many people happy is a shame. Some times i ask God why all the good ones have to be taken..such as my dad..He may have battled cancer and lost but he will forever remain in our hearts and minds..God Bless Him and his family and may the lord give you all strength to keep going.

Comment on Patrick Swayze's Last Wish

Heathergrey — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 01:05:44 -0000
Patrick's valor against this dreaded disease was strong and as vibrant an steadfast as the marvelous artistry as a dancer. He'll be missed, though never forgotten.

Comment on Patrick Swayze's Last Wish

JOHN PAYNE — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 00:58:35 -0000
BEYOND, THE USUAL ACCODALES FOR PATRICK, I BRIEFLY READ HIS BATTLE ALSO WITH THE ONLY TOO PRESENT TERM OF ALCOHOL ABUSE WHICH IS NOT A CONDENMATION BUT AN UNDERSTANDING OF LIFE'S PRESSURES, AS AN ACTIVE MEMBER OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, I SALUTE PATRICK AND SOBERLY PLAYED "GHOST" TWO NIGHTS AGO" AS A TRIBUTE TO A TREMENDOUS HUMAN BEING BEYOND THE USUAL GALLERY OF SELFISH AND UNSTABLE ACTORS/ACTRESSES OF THIS PERIOD ,MARIO

Comment on Patrick Swayze's Last Wish

Judy and Dayna — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 23:50:43 -0000
My thought and prayers go out to Lisa and her family. I can't believe the most wonderful people have to leave this world before what seems to be way before their time. I personally know exactly what it's like, as this same loss has happened to our daughter and me. Stay close to those you are most spiritually connected to.

Comment on Patrick Swayze's Last Wish

Tim — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 22:31:01 -0000
Julie Michaels -- who was in some movies with Patrick Swayze -- created a tribute page for him on caring.com: http://www.caring.com/caring-candles/cancer-candle/in-honor-of-patrick-swayze-6/thejewels

Comment on Patrick Swayze's Last Wish

Chuck Kershner — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 22:22:06 -0000
I have a life-threatening cancer. I am also a journalist who chooses words carefully. I 'deal' with a chronic illness, I do not 'fight' or 'battle' it, terms the writer repeatedly used. Do we use the same terms used in war for other chronic diseases, such as heart, diabetes, MS etc? And if we do, we shouldn't. I believe people who understand the birth-life-death cycle deal with illnesses as they go about living and ultimately dying. We don't battle life and unless we're egotistical and vai, generally do not fight against the inevitable. One might say life is a battle, and for some, it is even if they do not have cancer. It is unfortunate Swayze and many others die from cancer; it may eventually kill me. But I don't want my obituary to read that 'he put up a valiant battle' or 'put up the good fight' against an illness I did not ask for cancer, I did not do anything to get it, and I am resolved to deal with it - and get to on with life. And I keep a close eye for the inattentive drunk driver or one who is texting or talking on their cell phone and crosses the center line into my lane of traffic. I find these greater threats to my life than dying from cancer or any complications.

Comment on Patrick Swayze's Last Wish

Chuck Kershner — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 22:20:38 -0000
I have a life-threatening cancer. I am also a journalist who chooses words carefully. I 'deal' with a chronic illness, I do not 'fight' or 'battle' it, terms the writer repeatedly used. Do we use the same terms used in war for other chronic diseases, such as heart, diabetes, MS etc? And if we do, we shouldn't. I believe people who understand the birth-life-death cycle deal with illnesses as they go about living and ultimately dying. We don't battle life and unless were egotistical and vai, generally do not fight against the inevitable. One might say life is a battle, and for some, it is even if they do not have cancer. It is unfortunate Swayze and many others die from cancer; it may eventually kill me. But I don't want my obituary to read that 'he put up a valiant battle' or 'put up the good fight' against an illness I did not ask for cancer, I did not do anything to get it, and I am resolved to deal with it - and get to on with life. And I keep a close eye for the inattentive drunk driver or one who is texting or talking on their cell phone and crosses the center line into my lane of traffic. I find these greater threats to my life thn dying from cancer or any complications.

Comment on Patrick Swayze's Last Wish

angeleyes Blue — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 21:16:40 -0000
Lisa I am soooo sorry about Patrick :( Stay Strong and keep the faith! Pamela Tucker

Comment on Patrick Swayze's Last Wish

Anonymous — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 21:03:38 -0000
My sympathies to you, Lesa, your husband was a beyond words actor and dancer. In listening to reports of his health, I believe firmly that his stamina and state of healthy mind, and diet had alot to do with his living 20 months past diagnosis. What people do not realize, is that the norm is 6 months or LESS. Patrick was born a fighter and he never gave up. I heard about the cookout with friends just shortly ago and wish I had been able to express my gratitude in person. Thank you Patrick for being an inspiration to all of us and I am grateful for God placing you in this world. And, for others who have cancer, take your inspiration from Patrick, work towards getting Congress to give funding and work your fight, never give up, never surrender.

Comment on Health Risks from Drinking Soda, Especially for Women

Melanie Haiken — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:26:26 -0000
This is complicated stuff, and researchers have not been able to conclusively say exactly how cola drinking is causing bone loss. Caffeine is partly reponsible, but studies have found problems with non-caffeinated colas as well. Some researchers believe the phosphoric acid interacts in a way that leaches calcium. See this medical article for more information. http://www.medpagetoday.com/Endocrinology/Osteoporosis/4247

Comment on Patrick Swayze's Last Wish

greendeere40 — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 21:15:57 -0000
I agree with the comment above, I to had cancer, which at this stage has been told by my doctor that it was taking out and I would not need chemo or radiation. I am very glad about that. With prayers from family, friends and even strangers, I feel this has helped. I have continued to feel stronger and more more like my old self. We need to make the government more aware of natural ways of dealing with this horrendous disease. My God bless those with this serious sickness. My Prayers.

Comment on Patrick Swayze's Last Wish

Anonymous — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:45:12 -0000
Many prayers to his family. what an awesome attitude to maintain during his struggle...I can relate and know too well that a positive attitude is extremely important. My doctors, radiation team, etc. encourage just that...so as he sais "Keep Up the Fight", and believe in the guardian angels (soldiers) or whatever works for you. God Bless everyone with any form of cancer and also help the family, friends, and loved ones because I believe they too suffer and quite possibly more so emotionally etc. just watching this disease work its' horrors on their loved one. Prayers to all!

Comment on Health Risks from Drinking Soda, Especially for Women

ERP — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 21:41:49 -0000
What does Octoman mean by "heath an great compection" when referring to what Joan Collins said? Also Is it Carbonic acid or Phosphoroc acid. It's unconscionable not to clarify this.

Comment on Free Caregiving Help -- From Your Job?!

Anonymous — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:22:59 -0000
WHat is an HR rep?

Comment on Health Risks from Drinking Soda, Especially for Women

octoman — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:00:43 -0000
Here I am poking my nose in again. Joan Collins.said she put her good heath an great compection partly down to not drinking fizzy type drinks.

Comment on Health Risks from Drinking Soda, Especially for Women

pollytnjc — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 13:40:12 -0000
Hi I discovered that my habit of drinking large amounts of colas may have been contributing to bladder problems. Essentially, if I sneezed I had to stop walking or moving and pray that I didn't sneeze again because my bladder would seem to "let go". Well, my doctor said that a number of her other female patients who complained of the same issue seemed to have a similar habit....drinking lots of colas. She said it seemed to provide significant relief when they cut back dramatically or ceased drinking colas. So I gave it a shot and completely cut out the cola drinks for one week. And guess what? My whole problem ceased immediately (this had been going on for years!). I started back drinking colas and tried to note about how much I was drinking per day when the problem started up again. So I sorta figured out how much I could drink and not have this problem. I can always tell when I overdo the cola's. It is a hard habit to break. I also noticed that if you leave a cola drink in a paper cup over night, that it essentially eats the paper up - just destroys it! I can only imagine what it must do to sensitive tissues in the human body. In spite of this, I still drink too much. But I have cut back considerably thanks to my doctor noting this pattern with her patients.

Comment on Health Risks from Drinking Soda, Especially for Women

MercTech — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 04:36:16 -0000
Carbonated beverages contain carbonic acid, not phosphoric acid to create the fizz. Some have extremely minute amounts of phosphoric acid in them to stabilize color. Carbonic acid breaks down to carbon dioxide and water when the pressure is released to create the fizz so it cannot get into the blood stream. Tooth hazard yes, bone hazard, no. I fudmongering.

Comment on Financial Crises for Caregivers: The Time vs. Money Dilemma

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 03:56:42 -0000
OMG!!! This didn't even answer the question!!! The question is, how do I keep my job, health insurance, income, house, sanity!!! Clip coupons and get utility discounts. Honestly. This is a serious question, not one that deserves half-brained suggestions like these. My husband was the one that was ill, so I am the only income. What I had to do was just work as much and as hard as I could when I was able and pray that my boss didn't get tired of it and let me go. I was lucky in that I have teenagers that could stay with him several hours a day while I worked. There really isn't much help for us, I have found, so even having gone through it, I have no suggestion other than hard work, and prayer.

Comment on Financial Crises for Caregivers: The Time vs. Money Dilemma

Anonymous — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 19:18:35 -0000
give them the phone number to the nursing home and place your # on the do not call list.

Comment on Financial Crises for Caregivers: The Time vs. Money Dilemma

Anonymous — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 19:17:23 -0000
This article was not helpful - and worse, implies that it contains some information that caregivers can use. Especially irksome was the line about a reply to Meigsters question being a helpful answer....drum roll please! After going to that link the "helpful" info was to check with your state because *some states let you be PCA*. DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH!!! WHen will editors and writers realize that most caregivers have spent so much time looking for info, unless it is something real please don't pull our chains and get our hopes up. Saving receipts and asking grandma to help with the bills is not helpful..,....recognizing that care for an elder family member is costly, takes time, and impacts your finances is helpful. No more articles like this please. We deserve better as caregivers, please respect our time when writing do nothing articles like this

Comment on Tips to Help Family Caregivers Save Both Time and Money

1care — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:03:57 -0000
My husband has Alzheimers and can't travel alone. It would be so helpful if the bus service that comes to the house did not charge for the assistance, but when you have to pay 2.50 for each of you going and then 2.50 each coming home, that is $10.00 for transportation to the doctor (or wherever).The service would be great, but it is just too expensive for us.

Comment on Free Caregiving Help -- From Your Job?!

Dino — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 13:45:46 -0000
I am one of the fortunate that has an eldercare benefit. My mother is 89 years of age and even though she is in assisted living, this benefit has certainly paid off for me. Frequent hospitalizations means that she goes back to assisted living with the need for a lot more assistance that is provided. We get 20 days per year of eldercare and pay a co-pay of $40 per day of one on one care (during our scheduled working day(s). You can't beat that. I would recommend that you contact your HR representative to look into this.

Comment on An Aspirin a Day Keeps Colon Cancer at Bay

octoman — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 05:43:50 -0000
On reading blog again 61% improvement is deceptive it does mean 60 patients in every 100 survived. If only one person in a hundred without aspirin survived it means just over two people more people,survived with aspirin. 50% would mean exactly two people survived. The magic of maths,it could also mean at 79 I have gone Ga Ga and my maths have followed me.

Comment on An Aspirin a Day Keeps Colon Cancer at Bay

octoman — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 05:26:26 -0000
I used to take a aspirin a day until I was diagnosed with stomach cancer. It did help,it caused my cancer to bleed more so that I became acutely anemic.and they found my cancer earlier. So aspirin may help but it can also harm.

Comment on RIP, Ted Kennedy--and Thank You

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 19:01:49 -0000
Thank you for this fine tribute. He is loved.

Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

Dakota — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:47:06 -0000
I am 51, heart disease runs in my family. My dad died age 44. My brothers and I have all been on Cholestrol meds for a long time. I have had years of constant tightness in my chest. I had every heart test done and they tell me my heart is fine. They gave me Zanax to relieve my stress. I have had episodes of nausea, sweating, my arms tingle and my chest feels like someone is squeezing it but still they say it is all stress. I carry asprin with me and when this happens I chew a tablet. I have the constant fear I am going to have a heart attack and there is nothing I can do. Since losing my husband I am under a lot more stress but these symptoms have been going on for years. I am concered because my husband was not diagnosed early enough and when he was they told him you are going to die soon, he lasted 5 months and his life was over. Who can we trust?

Comment on Financial Crises for Caregivers: The Time vs. Money Dilemma

Anonymous — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 13:02:22 -0000
Ihave taken care of our mother(3 other siblings--no financial help and very little otherwise) for 10 yrs. She had credit card debt when Itook over. I had been paying minimum until I recently had to put her in assisted living which they take all of her income. My name is not on her cards. Ido have power of attorney but am having trouble paying my own expenses. What needs to be done? I tell the creditors she is in a nursing home but they keep calling. Any suggestions?

Comment on Tips to Help Family Caregivers Save Both Time and Money

Anonymous — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 20:46:25 -0000
As a longtime caregiver I am disappointed that these typse of articles are still running. The realities of caregiving are complex and are not one size fits all - to suggest that the senior "take the bus" or call a foodbank is ridiculous - Maybe they can take the bus to the foodbank and carry it all back with them. I expected better. Public transportation in most cities and suburban areas is subpar to unacceptable - in rural areas it does not exist. Nutritional needs in seniors is pitted against food insecurity as prices rise and income falls - including the planned increase in Medicare Part B premiums at the same time that COLA (Cost of Living Increase) is not going to happen. Please Caring.com ..... consider jettisoning the experts if this is the best they can do and ask real *at home* caregiving family members to contribute instead. I look forward to learning new information, not looking at articles purporting to 'help' and hitting the delete key. It is finally time for caregivers to speak up and ask for respect - not pie-in-the-sky articles like this. No offense to the author, but I doubt that they have considered what I have written - I hope they take my and others comments to heart.

Comment on Tips to Help Family Caregivers Save Both Time and Money

Melanie Haiken — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 19:16:09 -0000
I do understand your point, and you're right, some of these would be impossible with dementia. But my mom was actually suffering from severe mental impairment and I was still able to set up some transportation solutions, including a public bus. But yes, she was stubborn, she did refuse, and I had to insist and explain patiently how impossible a burden it was for me to provide all transportation. Then she was willing to try. I should have mentioned that in any caregiving situation, a lot of back and forth has to go on to come up with a solution that works for everyone.

Comment on Tips to Help Family Caregivers Save Both Time and Money

Anonymous — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 17:34:07 -0000
So many of these suggestions are not doable. If the caregiver is aiding someone with dementia, early stage Alzheimers or just plain stubborn, giving them maps, cell phones and access to undependable senior transportation is useless. My mother was unable to use these as well as refused help from outsiders or spend money on services she was not familiar with. These tips may help those who have physical challenges but not mental ones.

Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

ellkay — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 12:55:00 -0000
I have to say this scared the daylights out of me. I am a 31 year old female. I suffer from anxiety so I have every symptom that was mentioned. I am a health conscience person. I eat good, exersize and keep my weight down. If I have everyone of those symptoms, have been checked by a cardiologist and suffer from anxiety should I be rechecked????

Comment on RIP, Ted Kennedy--and Thank You

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:33:44 -0000
Yes, there IS a question that he was an eloquent champion that would bring quality healthcare for all! A very serious question! The ramifications of his thinking on healthcare reform are tremendously frightening! Everyone would not receive the quality care we now know, nor would the best available care be given in a timely &/or equitable way. I have relatives who are medical professionals in Canada and I have friends undergoing cancer treatment in Great Britain. I'm very well aware of how things are done in those countries and Americans do not want to go that route. The Ted Kennedy's of this world would have a certain quality of care for themselves, but would then determine what degree of "quality" care the rest of us could/should have and when we should have it. Don't assume we all agree about what Ted Kennedy stood for. There is, after all, the "controversy and legislative wrangling" going on for a reason - people do not want this type of plan imposed on them. They know a disaster when they see it.

Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

Pattycakes — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 01:16:56 -0000
women, please listen to your body! I am a registered nurse and had everyone of these symptoms but blew them off as change fo life till one day I hooked myself up to the monitor and saw I was having irregular rythms called PVC's. I went to the cardiologist and had a stress test. The next day he came up on my unit sent me home said I was in heart failure!!!!!!I now have a pacemaker and defibrilator. I no longer allowed to work... so DONT ignor your symptoms or blow them off.

Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

Melanie Haiken — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 23:21:49 -0000
I'm so happy to hear you found this post helpful. Yes, please do go see a doctor, and make sure she runs all possible tests. I was very shocked to see the statistics of how many women have heart attacks and don't get to the doctor until days later.

Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

luckybabygirl — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 18:13:32 -0000
Last Friday, I was at my neighbor's house for dinner, after dinner, I suddenly felt extrememly weak, dizzy, and couldn't walk. I asked my neighbor to walk me home and since I have a history of panic disorder, we thought it was another panic attack. But this felt different, I was not panicky, just kept feeling worse, weaker, pressure in the middle of my chest, shortness of breath, and unable to walk. My friend called 911 and the ambulance took me to the hospital. A couple of days before this, I had extreme intestinal cramping, the kind that makes you want to lay on the floor and scream, the pain was so bad. For several months previous, I have had insomnia. I also had the sensation at the time of the incident of feeling my blood pounding through my head and body; and a curious sensation of tingles along the top of my head. I stayed overnight at the hospital because I am high risk, I am 53, smoke (yes, I know I need to stop), about 65 lbs overweight, have a family history of strokes/heart attacks, and have chronic pain due to an accident. That same week, I was very upset due to the fact that a longtime friend of mine for 30 years (male) did not want to be my friend any longer. This upset me greatly. At the hospital, they ran blood enzyme test to determine if I had had a heart attack, the results were negative. I believe that this incident might have been a precursor to a heart attack/stroke. I am scheduled for a stress test. I have been taking my health for granted, but will change my habits for better health.

Comment on Are You About to Have A Heart Attack? 7 Heart Attack Signs Women -- And Doctors -- Often Miss

marlan98b — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 23:33:07 -0000
thanks a lot. Great post. I am experiencing it right now. I have to make a doctors appointment as soon as possible.

Comment on Five Debt Triggers -- One Simple Solution

rchrdle — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 04:58:20 -0000
Debt settlement helps when you are not able to repay your debt amount. I was struggling to repay my my debts and I took help of Freedom Debt Relief to settle my debts.

Comment on How to Choose the Best Nursing Home: Look for a Nonprofit

Melanie Haiken — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 18:44:37 -0000
You're right, I neglected to mention that a home run by an individual or family is in a different situation than one owned by a public company (usually part of a chain) with shareholders who focus mainly on profit/loss. I should have made this distinction. Of course it all comes down to the quality of management and every home is going to be different, so readers, use our guidelines to choose the best home, making an evaluation based on our list of factors to consider.

Comment on How to Choose the Best Nursing Home: Look for a Nonprofit

tabidean — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 02:25:38 -0000
This article is not necessarily true. I have worked in a for-profit nursing home for almost three years. We do not have share holders, we are owned by one person. If I did not believe the residents were getting the best care, I would not work for the facility. The only pressure ulcers (bed sores) we have in our facility(and there are very few), the residents have gotten while at the hospital, which we usually get healed up fairly quickly. We are fairly well staffed. There are usually about 7 residents per nurses aid on average. We are also a skilled care facility (which means we have people there for therapy). I see a lot of these people want to stay permanently, and sometimes they do. Our facility is very old, so it is not that pretty and fancy, but we take very good care of them and try to make sure they have fun. So, if your looking for a nursing home dont rule one out just because it is for profit, you could be doing your loved one a great disservice. FYI we are located in New Carlisle Ohio.

Comment on Bad News for Those with Spinal Compression Fractures; Popular Treatment May Not Work After All

octoman — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:30:03 -0000
Oh! I saw the send a hug.I thought why not.so I pressed it .low and behold I got a hug. Lucky me.

Comment on Bad News for Those with Spinal Compression Fractures; Popular Treatment May Not Work After All

octoman — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:25:52 -0000
My wife has osteoporosis.She has two replacement knee's but her back now troubles her.living in England all these treatments are free,but of course there are long queues.But the fact that doctors are looking into their proceedures in great news,they are usually so blinkered.

Comment on A "Perfect Mom," a Bottle of Vodka, and 8 Dead: Why We Must Learn to Recognize Alcoholism in Women

sunnywho — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:15:51 -0000
I grew up in a very abusive household & my father was also an alcoholic. I am the youngest of three I myself have suffered with a long term alcohol addiction, I thought there was no way out, it was just one big cycle. I have now overcome my addiction and I am no longer an alcoholic, if anyone is reading this and needs help and support I seriously recommend this site Healthwise Global www.healthwise-global.com which is fantastic for helping manage stress, the site does have a special program to help overcome alcohol addiction ( which I used), the man who started the site was himself and alcoholic. I hope it helps any one who is reading this article.

Comment on Anti-Cancer Superfoods: Do They Really Work?

sandstone — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 16:58:54 -0000
I have tried to access the link to get the 10 anti-cancer superfoods. My screen is only showing the first 5. How can I access the other 5. I greatly appreciate this article. Thanks for any and all assistance.

Comment on A "Perfect Mom," a Bottle of Vodka, and 8 Dead: Why We Must Learn to Recognize Alcoholism in Women

Anonymous — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 05:30:28 -0000
I am a daughter of a father alcoholic but I read this post with great interest and sadness. I can really see how, insidiously, women alcoholics *could* be more likely to hurt others. Very sad. Thank you for being unafraid to confront this.

Comment on A "Perfect Mom," a Bottle of Vodka, and 8 Dead: Why We Must Learn to Recognize Alcoholism in Women

marfagirl — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 00:03:26 -0000
this is an excellent post. I am a recovering alcoholic, my mother is an alcoholic. Anyone who thinks their mother, sister, friend may have a drinking problem should read this post.

Comment on A "Perfect Mom," a Bottle of Vodka, and 8 Dead: Why We Must Learn to Recognize Alcoholism in Women

Anonymous — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:12:33 -0000
Powerful blog. I appreciated reading this.

Comment on How to Cope With Cancer Fear

Anonymous — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 19:39:09 -0000
My prayers are with the person who posted the first comment. Sometimes we do everything we are supposed to do, and we still don't find health issues in the earliest stages. Cancer is never "fair" and is has affected too many of my own friends and relatives. One of my healthiest friends has stage IV lymphoma (going on 7 years). I have two friends who were diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer, 9 and 8 years ago respectively. Both are still alive. And a friend who was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 1993--still alive and going strong.

Comment on How to Cope With Cancer Fear

moi49moi — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 04:44:09 -0000
I ama a female and just turned 60, and have always gone in for my annual physicals, or any other time I was not feeling well. Two years ago I got my first colonoscopy and was told no polps all was clear. Last year I noticed my energy level droping and a feeling like there was something in my lower abdomen. I thought it was my female organs having a problem. I had no pain. My doctor said I was a little anemic and could not feel or see anything with the exam. Around February I started having pain in my lower right side. I thought it was my ovary. I was still feeling tired a lot. In March I went to the doctor again complaining of pain when I bent ove to put my shoes on. I had a pelvic ultrasound and nothing howed up. However, my blood test showed that I was iron deficient. My doctor sent me for a CT scan, which showed I had a mass in my colon! On June 1 I had a surgery to remove 12" inches of my colon. The mass was cancer, stage 3. The only reason why I had pain was because the cancer started in my appendix then went through to the colon. The doctor took 24 of my lymph nodes out and 4 were positive for cancer. My margins were clear. The surgeon said they got all the cancer, but I would need six months of chemotherapy as a preventative measure. When I say the oncologist he ordered a PET scan, which unfortunately for me, showed 3 cancer spots on my liver, one just outside my liver and some small spots near my stomach which they were not sure of. So now I am on a chemotherapy schedule, just finished my second session. So even though I did was I was supposd to do, annual exams, my colonoscopy, somehow this cancer was missed. How upsetting this has been for me and my family. Two years ago if the doctor had found it during the colonoscopy, maybe it would have been a stage 1 or 2 and not spread to my other organs. My prognosis? I don't know. I will be starting a 3rd medication with my 3rd chemo session. The medication is Avstin, which I hear is a very good life saving drug.

Comment on Bad News for Menopausal Women: Hormone Therapy Boosts Ovarian and Breast Cancer Risk

Rebecca — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 21:43:57 -0000
I am always impressed by the information from the Women-to_women Clinic. Here's an article about this... http://www.womentowomen.com/bioidentical-hrt/perspectiveonrisks.aspx

Comment on Bad News for Menopausal Women: Hormone Therapy Boosts Ovarian and Breast Cancer Risk

Melanie Haiken — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 19:46:20 -0000
This is a really good question. I will need to look into it, as the issues related to taking hormones post-hysterectomy are different. I'll cover this in a future post!

Comment on Bad News for Menopausal Women: Hormone Therapy Boosts Ovarian and Breast Cancer Risk

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 13:13:14 -0000
I guess I need some clarification. First of all, if I am on estrogen only, and the reason I am on hormones is because I had my ovaries removed, is there still a risk? Secondly, as I read the article on breast cancer, it was referring to women who take estrogen with progestins. Therefore, if I take estrogen only, what is the increased risk of breast cancer? This is all so confusing. I had a total hysterectomy three weeks before the original study came out. I had done lots of homework on the available information at the time and met for two hours with a consulting nurse in order to make an informed decision. And then three weeks into my recovery all the information I had learned was discounted. I have tried to go off the hormones, but in addition to debilitating hot flashes (every 20 minutes around the clock that not only make me sweat, but begin with an intense surge of nausea), I also get severe migraines, the kind that make me throw up and require that I lay motionless in a dark room for hours. Fun huh! Right now the only thing that keeps me functioning is the estrogen! So, based on the fact that I have no ovaries and take estrogen only, what is the actual risk of ovarian and breast cancer in my situation?

Comment on Health Alert: 7 Vaccines Few Adults Have Had -- But Need

jorie13 — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 16:42:22 -0000
You don't mention that 40% of vaccines today come from China, a country with a terrible inspection record. It has the highest rejection rate of imports and its factory inspection rate shows that it cannot be depended on to follow safety requirements. (*The FDA only checks these vaccine factories once every 13 years!!). Also, sadly, many deaths from flu and pneumonia are caused by hospital errors/weakness from bad nutrition. *The info on vaccines came from Dr. Russell Blaylock.

Comment on Safe Sleep Tips to Prevent Stroke

Mcki777 — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 04:44:53 -0000
I HAVE SLEEP APNEA AND IT'S TERRIBLE. I AM CONSTANTLY TIRED AND RARELY HAVE ENERGY TO PERFORM EVEN THE MOST SIMPLE DAILY TASKS. I HAVE STARTED USING A C-PAP MACHINE AND IT SEEMS TO HELP,ALTHOUGH I HAVEN'T BEEN USING IT VERY LONG. I WAS TOLD THAT AFTER A FEW MONTHS OF USING IT,I WILL BE ABLE TO TELL A TOTAL DIFFERENCE. I CAN HARDLY WAIT. SLEEP APNEA CAN CAUSE SO MANY PROBLEMS, LIKE DEPRESSION,FORGETFULNESS,ANXIETY AND IRRITABILITY TO NAME A FEW. I WAS TOLD THAT I WAS LUCKY THAT I DIDN'T DIE IN MY SLEEP,ALREADY!! THIS IS VERY SERIOUS AND NOTHING TO PLAY WITH. IF YOU THINK YOU MAY HAVE SLEEP APNEA OR HAVE ANY OF THE PROBLEMS LISTED, YOU SHOULD AT LEAST BE TESTED. IT CAN'T HURT AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE,BUT SLEEP!! THAT'S ENOUGH! I'M SO GLAD THAT I WAS TESTED. I HOPE ANYONE WHO EVEN THINKS THEY HAVE IT WILL BE TESTED A.S.A.P. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU! MCKI777

Comment on Which Painkillers Are Safe for Seniors?

Melanie Haiken — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 22:30:22 -0000
I did not mean the comment below to be anonymous. It was from the author, Melanie Haiken.

Comment on Which Painkillers Are Safe for Seniors?

Anonymous — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 22:29:38 -0000
The panel said they primarily focused on those age 75 or older. However, I bought an NSAID myself yesterday and noticed that the new "black box" warning on the box applies to age 60 and up. This is a good question and I'll address it more in a future post.

Comment on Which Painkillers Are Safe for Seniors?

tater — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 01:42:12 -0000
How does the author or the Society define a "senior" and/or an "older adult"? Also for those of us who belong to large HMOs, who like to use NSAIDs and are extremely hesitant to prescribe narcotics, what can a patient to do to help change the formulary policies?

Comment on Prostate Cancer Therapy May Do More Harm Than Good

gffoye — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 00:06:31 -0000
Re: prostate hormonal therapy (lupron): a decade back I dealt with prostate cancer. I survived by getting out from under a urologist at a local medical facility & finding another out of town. I did try alternatives with minor success combined with orthodox therapy. Orthodox at the time being lupron and my urologist (at the time) a money hungry doc had me coming one to two times a months for: 1- 2 office visits often charging a 'double' office visit, or a scan or imaging or his favorite form of torture prostate biopsy ( several times even though he already established I had prostate cancer). I took lupron several months (about $1,000 /month lupron alone). Side effects were nasty. In my opinion lupron should be outlawed. One nasty side effect was fibromyalgia (although medical establishment disagrees). Finally found an answer for that on my own about 9 months later. But today, I have what may be residual problems with muscle tissue - that is constant pain, misery & discomfort although, admittedly, i can't prove it. (Fibromyalgia comes in several different forms.) There were other miserable effects like taking on a new personality: anger, fits of hyperactivity, wanting to smash cars on the freeway (wonder how many have done that). It caused lot other nasty side effects but not one good came out of it. By the way - I finally got out from under that doc and found a real doctor. Fortunately, all doctors are not alike and that applies to medical facilities as well. It pays to 'shop around'. And if you encounter a urologist surgeon that insists on blood transfusions - don't hesitate - leave promptly. That is old fashioned, no longer necessary. It does indicate that surgeon should be working in a meat shop, not operating on humans. GF San Diego, CA

Comment on Prostate Cancer Therapy May Do More Harm Than Good

gffoye — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 00:06:30 -0000
Re: prostate hormonal therapy (lupron): a decade back I dealt with prostate cancer. I survived by getting out from under a urologist at a local medical facility & finding another out of town. I did try alternatives with minor success combined with orthodox therapy. Orthodox at the time being lupron and my urologist (at the time) a money hungry doc had me coming one to two times a months for: 1- 2 office visits often charging a 'double' office visit, or a scan or imaging or his favorite form of torture prostate biopsy ( several times even though he already established I had prostate cancer). I took lupron several months (about $1,000 /month lupron alone). Side effects were nasty. In my opinion lupron should be outlawed. One nasty side effect was fibromyalgia (although medical establishment disagrees). Finally found an answer for that on my own about 9 months later. But today, I have what may be residual problems with muscle tissue - that is constant pain, misery & discomfort although, admittedly, i can't prove it. (Fibromyalgia comes in several different forms.) There were other miserable effects like taking on a new personality: anger, fits of hyperactivity, wanting to smash cars on the freeway (wonder how many have done that). It caused lot other nasty side effects but not one good came out of it. By the way - I finally got out from under that doc and found a real doctor. Fortunately, all doctors are not alike and that applies to medical facilities as well. It pays to 'shop around'. And if you encounter a urologist surgeon that insists on blood transfusions - don't hesitate - leave promptly. That is old fashioned, no longer necessary. It does indicate that surgeon should be working in a meat shop, not operating on humans. GF San Diego, CA

Comment on Prostate Cancer Therapy May Do More Harm Than Good

gffoye — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 00:06:29 -0000
Re: prostate hormonal therapy (lupron): a decade back I dealt with prostate cancer. I survived by getting out from under a urologist at a local medical facility & finding another out of town. I did try alternatives with minor success combined with orthodox therapy. Orthodox at the time being lupron and my urologist (at the time) a money hungry doc had me coming one to two times a months for: 1- 2 office visits often charging a 'double' office visit, or a scan or imaging or his favorite form of torture prostate biopsy ( several times even though he already established I had prostate cancer). I took lupron several months (about $1,000 /month lupron alone). Side effects were nasty. In my opinion lupron should be outlawed. One nasty side effect was fibromyalgia (although medical establishment disagrees). Finally found an answer for that on my own about 9 months later. But today, I have what may be residual problems with muscle tissue - that is constant pain, misery & discomfort although, admittedly, i can't prove it. (Fibromyalgia comes in several different forms.) There were other miserable effects like taking on a new personality: anger, fits of hyperactivity, wanting to smash cars on the freeway (wonder how many have done that). It caused lot other nasty side effects but not one good came out of it. By the way - I finally got out from under that doc and found a real doctor. Fortunately, all doctors are not alike and that applies to medical facilities as well. It pays to 'shop around'. And if you encounter a urologist surgeon that insists on blood transfusions - don't hesitate - leave promptly. That is old fashioned, no longer necessary. It does indicate that surgeon should be working in a meat shop, not operating on humans. GF San Diego, CA

Comment on 10 Early Signs of Prostate Cancer That Often Go Unnoticed

marm — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 15:11:20 -0000
my best friend and husband of 36 years goes to the VA hospital friday july17 for biopsey of the postate and he is terrified, because his brother is just now getting over the kemo, etc. for his cancer of the postate. any thing i can get to help me deal with this is so very helpful. out youngest son 28years old just went in a mental ward for sucide attempt the second time since mothers day and my aunt (mama for 55years since the death of my mother at birth) has started kemo for cancer in the limpnods of her back. out family is smothered in sickness of one time or other. thank you marm

Comment on How to Prevent Family Money Conflicts by Reconciling Money Styles

JeanC — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 02:58:01 -0000
I see some of the styles you describe in various people, but most people don't seem to exclusively fall into one category or another. Rather they tend to have characteristics of 2 or 3 with one being dominant. For example, my mother was probably a hoarder until she was about 50 or so. By that time her family was nearly raised and they were quite comfortable. She had always had a bit of the binger in her, but she really went into high gear on the binging at that point in her life and has remained there. She is very critical of anyone else spending money on anything, but she can go out and spend several thousand dollars (that she supposedly didn't have a week earlier) on new furniture, diamond rings, or whatever she has decided she needs to maintain her status at the moment. My Dad is pretty much a miser and as long as he has some money in his pocket, he doesn't care what she does most of the time. This is pretty difficult for me because I'm not money motivated, but I take care of it the best I can. One of my brother's is just a spender (so is his wife) and mother has bailed them out over & over. My other brother is a miser like Dad with a little of the spender characteristics, and his wife is a hoarder with spender characteristics. I believe that if it is necessary to spend some money for health care or something like that, then do it. They won't. If two items are nearly the same, but the prices are widely apart, go for the cheaper one (Mom, their wives, & both brothers would buy the brand name if it was for themselves, but a cheaper model for someone else.)They will cheat if they get the chance, but profess to be honest. I will tell the clerk if they undercharged me or gave me too much change. They say I'm too honest. I get totally frustrated with the money wars and try to point out to all of them that you can't take it with you and family is more important than money, so I end up the bad guy most of the time. I'm tired of all of them. To make matters worse, I'm the POA and executor of our parents' estate. They are both elderly and ill. I figure it's going to get real ugly and I don't know how to stop it.

Comment on Beware Red Meat, the New Cancer Risk

Melanie Haiken — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 22:39:10 -0000
Here's a link to the abstract: http://glycob.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/cwn072. But this is just one study focusing on the mechanism; there have been numerous studies on red meat, processed meat, colon cancer, and pancreatic cancer and my point was to try to pull it all together as a health alert.

Comment on Beware Red Meat, the New Cancer Risk

thevanman — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 18:18:13 -0000
What ball park do you go to? Here you cannot bring in any food or beverage. Something about safety?

Comment on Beware Red Meat, the New Cancer Risk

Anonymous — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:15:03 -0000
To put 'consumption of red meat and processed meat' in the same sentence, on equal footing, is not correct science. Do you happen to have a citation for the actual study (you only link to Science Daily's interpretations of the study.) As a scientist, I'd like to read the original report. Could you publish the link, so that all could follow it?

Comment on 5 Money Styles and How Differences Cause Family Conflicts

Melanie Haiken — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 00:46:22 -0000
Hi Claire, I think you're right, there is a Depression-era combination of worrier and hoarder that is particularly challenging, and many of our parents fall into this demographic. My mother was similar; I had to redo her budget over and over to try to prove to her that she had enough money to pay a caregiver a few hours a week and give my sisters and me some respite. Good luck with your situation!

Comment on 5 Money Styles and How Differences Cause Family Conflicts

CA-Claire — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 14:37:59 -0000
There is one category missing. My parents are children of the depression (b. 1921). The are a very difficult combination of Worrier and Hoarder. They have plenty of money (enough to live in the facility they are in for 25+ years, and it is a land-locked cruise ship-type), yet they wear shoes until they have holes in the soles. They purchase clothes only once every 5 years or so, and the clothes they purchase are Walmart or 'dollar' store clothing. Very frustrating to us kids. When we moved them, we had to give to junk stores and throw out a very large amount of 'precious' items. They are still asking where something is (cost in 1960 $5.00, worn out and dirty).

Comment on Don't Have Health Insurance? Here's How to Get Health Care Anyway

sdhIndy — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 18:59:00 -0000
This is great for low income, but what about a person whose company discountinued coverage one week and the employee was rushed to the hospital the next week with an unknowned brain tumor? This person is now uninsurable with a pre-existing condition. That was 4 years ago and still has not had the needed surgery.

Comment on RIP Farrah Fawcett, Who Wanted Us to Take Her -- And Cancer -- Seriously

octoman — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 16:04:25 -0000
I hear fighting cancer so many times,Big John Wayne Beautiful Farrah Plucy Wendy Ricards and Jade,it is so stressful,stress and cancer seem to go together I have had cancer for 7 years I have never fought it,I am too big a coward I just to relax as much as possible and give my imune system a chance to do its job,it has had a million years of experience.of course I could be just an old fool,but I have avoided all pain and trauma that fighting cancer brings.I remain a live coward.I admire the fighters,but I cannot follow them.

Comment on What Michael Jackson's Early Death Can Teach Us About Heart Health

debbie darville — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 17:47:15 -0000
i have a history of high blood pressure,and is on meds to control it,but sometimes i forget to take them.since M.J. death its a wake up call for me to take my meds every single day.

Comment on What Michael Jackson's Early Death Can Teach Us About Heart Health

Anonymous — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 12:59:23 -0000
Michael is not the youngest of the Jackson's brothers. Info was helpful

Comment on 3 Key Steps to Protect Against Falls -- and Prevent a "Cascade" of Health Problems

Anonymous — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:40:59 -0000
I am a physical therapist with over 20 years in long term care. The bulk of my case load deals with fall prevention. Here are some basic environmental tips-- 1. get rid of throw rugs 2. get rid of clutter--as we age, "less is more" 3. use night lights 4. consider a bedside commode for urgency during the night--people who hurry tend to fall 5. many older folks use 25 watt bulbs to save money--they already have compromised vision--low light can contribute to confusion about shadows/shapes on the floor, leading to falls 6. check shoes/slippers--if they fit poorly, they can contribute to a fall 7. avoid "lift chairs" and other aids that make life "easier"--they also make muscles weaker, eventually leading to a fall. All adaptive equipment should be evaluated for the individual person, not just used because it's available--consult a PT with experience in long term care 8. Strengthening the trunk and lower extremities is key--maintaining good range of motion is important--avoid sleeping with pillows under the knees--it leads to stiff knees and ankles. If anything, pillows are used under the calves, to keep pressure off the heels. For people who move freely, I'd stick to no pillows. I love working on fall prevention. Hope some of these tips are helpful! Sunshine

Comment on 3 Key Steps to Protect Against Falls -- and Prevent a "Cascade" of Health Problems

Melanie Haiken — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:39:37 -0000
These are wonderful ideas! Thanks so much and i'll be sure to write about them in future posts. Really appreciate your feedback.

Comment on 3 Key Steps to Protect Against Falls -- and Prevent a "Cascade" of Health Problems

Martha-1 — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 13:23:01 -0000
My mother has vascular dementia and possibly Alzheimer's disease, and when she fell and fractured her pelvis two years ago, the physical therapist at her rehab center suggested HipSavers--a girdle-like garment you wear under your pants, with three soft disc pads built in, one pad in the back over the tailbone and one on each hip. Mom has been wearing them since she recovered from her fracture, and though she's been found on the floor of her memory care facility a few times (she forgets to use her walker), she has had no more injuries. Some people object to wearing them, but in my mother's case she does not, as she forgets she has them on. If falling is a concern, and you want to avoid your loved one having to spend weeks or months in the hospital and rehab, I highly recommend HipSavers. They're fairly new, but you can find them online.

Comment on 3 Key Steps to Protect Against Falls -- and Prevent a "Cascade" of Health Problems

Patrece Banks — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 15:25:07 -0000
There are many missing pieces in fall prevention efforts. For example: A recent study published in the Journal of Clinical Nursing showed that 1 in 6 older people who lived at home were under-nourished and at risk of malnutrition. Low levels of certain minerals can cause dizziness and balance problems. Another report showed vitamin D helped reduce falls. It’s hard to get strength or balance if you lack the nutrients that help improve either problem. Another issue is how drugs deplete certain nutrients. This is an area that gets too little attention. A research report in the January 2009 Journal of American Geriatrics Society showed a lack of effect of Tai Chi had on preventing falls. Then there is another that says exercise is good. No doubt exercise is beneficial but it seems everyone needs to be properly assessed to make sure the benefits out weigh the risks. The CDC focuses on exercise and overlooks bed falls while statistics show it is an issue. The statistic below is from the CDC: Difficulty performing activities of daily living among Medicare beneficiaries, ages 65+: US, 2006 figures: Non-institutionalized Getting In/Out of Bed/Chair 11.9% Using Toilet 4.8% We have big gaps in getting important information out about falls causes. Too many programs rely on those who are not well informed about leading causes of falls and fall deaths or how to prevent them. According to the National Safety Council (nsc.org) falls from bed are the second leading cause of fall death after stairs and steps. Here is the web address for the quiz: http://nsc.org/resources/issues/falquiz.aspx Device safety in fall prevention programs are another area of concern where the focus is on cheap cost not safety or effectiveness. Too many devices are not used as intended while the recommenders don't know the intended use. We have a long way to go in fall prevention this includes educating the educators.

Comment on How to Care for Someone Who Has Cancer - AND a Negative Attitude

James Ballard — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 13:31:38 -0000
...9:15 AM EST...yeah right..."beckiecann"...you need to identify yourself if you're going to play "pretend doctor"...while you're telling cancer patients and/or their relations you have "something far worse than cancer" to justify your rambling. As you say, you "don't have cancer", so you need to get off this blog and a see a "Gulf War" shrink, because I suspect you're enjoying your "Gulf War Illness" a little too much...J.B. 6/20/09

Comment on How to Care for Someone Who Has Cancer - AND a Negative Attitude

beckiecann — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 06:51:53 -0000
I shuddered as I read this blog. I don't have cancer. I have something far worse - Gulf War Illness. The "depression" is an effect of the destruction taking place at the cellular level by both chemo and cancer. Anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds will absolutely aggravate symptoms of fatigue and irritability. Anti-depressants depress the immune system so much by making the cancer patient more prone to opportunistic infections, fungal overgrowth, and bacterial infections of the intestine. And if a chemo patient is suffering insomnia, it means their adrenals are bad shape. They are not producing sufficient levels of cortisol, which is produced only during deep sleep. Most sleep medications do not sedate sick people long enough to provide deep, refreshing sleep, much less produce sufficient cortisol. Exhaustion sleep or debilitating chronic fatigue that chemo triggers is hardly ever refreshing. For Gulf War Illness, I rely on several adrenal hormones - bio-identical or nutriceuticals - to pick me up off the bottom of the well, face-down in the mud. As far as I can tell, I have never been clinically depressed. The biomarkers for depressed people is over-production of cortisol. They usually have belly fat from being stressed, producing too much cortisol. You don't see that on cancer patients. Also, a much better way to beat cancer is by IV infusion therapy of Vit C or extremely diluted H2O2 (pharmaceutical grade hydrogen peroxide) in a small bag of dextrose. Anyone whose system is being depleted by disease should always consider the Myer's Cocktail IV infusion therapy. It replenishes minerals and nutrients at the cellular level, where chemo strips the system at a cellular level. Irritability may also be hormone imbalance, especially if losing weight and losing hair. A very, very good adrenal-pituitary supplement is Pregnenalone. You can not take so much of it that it is dangerous. The best kind is sublingual tablets you can find a natural foods market or pharmacy. The tablets dissolve under the tongue, by-pass blood-brain barrier and provide instant relief. Grumpiness is instantly gone. For me, Pregnenalone relieves mid-back pain of adrenal inflammation. www.prohealth.com has a product called Adrenal Support, extremely helpful when diet is running straight through or coming back up quite often. I encourage everyone to understand how important educating yourself about chemo-therapy and how devastating it is to the entire system. Some forms of chemo actually cause rapid-growing cancer. So learn how to rebuild nutritionally at the cellular level before you start rolling out prescription mind-numbing, mood-altering drugs that enhance the devastation.

Comment on Don't Have Health Insurance? Here's How to Get Health Care Anyway

dihi — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 18:08:01 -0000
These are great suggestions. They can work for young and old.

Comment on How to Care for Someone Who Has Cancer - AND a Negative Attitude

James Ballard — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 15:24:12 -0000
10:00 AM CST...Melanie, this blog is a little confusing; the "comments" read as though written by a child. What type of cancer? How Long has he/she had it? Is the family not telling you anything ? If the cancer is terminal your friend has the right to know. I would approach your friend's doctor and put the question(s) directly to him/her. If the doctor blinks too many times/stares at the floor/chews on his pencil or tells you "talk to the family" or avoids you in any way, I'd say your friend doesn't have much time in this Vale of Tears. These are all reasonable adult-type questions. If they are your "comments" I sympathize with your pain, but you need to can the "mantras" and forget this line of "discussion" and spend as much "quality" time with your friend as possible. He/she may appreciate that more than you depending on divine intervention or playing on the Blog machine. Luck to you and your friend. J.B.

Comment on How to Care for Someone Who Has Cancer - AND a Negative Attitude

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 03:55:36 -0000
nothing can help you cancer , but nothing can separate your presumed victims from the over powering love of the Supreme God.His love triumps over your cell destroying methods. we have your number,your sorry loser.

Comment on How to Care for Someone Who Has Cancer - AND a Negative Attitude

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 03:52:26 -0000
you , mr. cancer, are just like your name. you are a creep and we know your motive, but we will destroy your cells.

Comment on How to Care for Someone Who Has Cancer - AND a Negative Attitude

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 03:50:46 -0000
My sister inlaw will kill your efforts,mr.cancer. we together will whip your arse.

Comment on How to Care for Someone Who Has Cancer - AND a Negative Attitude

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 03:49:12 -0000
you are not welcome here. you are just a vagabon.

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