Image by riptheskull used under the creative commons attribution no derivs license.

Patricia K. got the e-mail just a few weeks after Christmas. "The holidays had come and gone, and once again no one had heard from my sister Betsy -- not even a card," Patricia says.

Then suddenly, there was an e-mail in her in box. "The subject line was pure Betsy -- `I hear Mom's sick; why didn't anyone call me?!' Well, gosh, we didn't have her number -- we didn't even know what state she was living in."

Betsy, just three years younger than Patricia, had had a stormy relationship with her parents and sister since high school. She married young, a guy they thought was a lowlife. She had a baby, and proceeded to live one of those lives that lurches from disaster to disaster.

For a long time, the only time anyone heard from Betsy was when she called to ask for money, usually with her son as the excuse. She needed money to take care of Petey, she needed money to send Petey to school, she needed money to take Petey to the doctor...  Read more

If you or a woman you know has early stage breast cancer that's HER2-positive, she needs to know about some new research published yesterday in the Journal of Clinical Oncology.

An early stage tumor that's as tiny as one centimeter or smaller still has a high risk of deadly recurrence if it's HER2-positive, new data show.

Researchers from the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center reviewed recurrence data on breast cancer patients whose tumors were one centimeter or smaller -- typically considered to present a very low recurrence risk. (See size chart; one cm is about the size of a black-eyed pea.) What they found was that if a woman's tumor, no matter how tiny, was HER2-positive, her 5-year recurrence rate was 23 percent -- almost one in four.

Led by Ana Gonzalez-Angulo, MD, the researchers analyzed the center's breast cancer research database, which contained data on 965 women whose tumors were less than one centimeter when diagnosed, and who did not receive treatment with Herceptin...  Read more

Image by Rosser321 used under the creative commons attribution license.

Here's some important news for older adults. Researchers are reporting that contrary to the messages we've been hearing over the last six months, the H1N1 swine flu virus can be extremely dangerous for those ages 50 and older.

New research, to be published in the November 4th Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA), reviewed the first 1088 cases of H1N1 reported in California after the disease first surfaced in April 2009. The findings, presented by Janice Louie of the California Department of Public Health, were both surprising and scary. A quick summary:

• hospitalization and death can occur at all ages

• 30 percent of all hospitalized cases were severe enough to require treatment in an intensive care unit

• Although 32 percent were children under 18, 58 percent were adults

• Those ages 50 or older had the highest rate of death once hospitalized

• Overallll...  Read more

Image by Jeff Kubina used under the creative commons attribution share alike license.

I've heard so many variations on this one I could fill a page just with the individual stories. Here on the West Coast, it often involves one of the many freestanding casinos on tribal land, which are all too easily accessible from nearby towns. Or bus trips to Las Vegas or Reno organized by senior groups. A friend in Shreveport tells me her mom couldn't stay away from the riverboat casinos; another friend's dad got in over his head playing Saturday night (and then Friday night, and then Wednesday afternoon) poker. And it isn't just our parents; I recently listened as a group of people shared stories of family members -- often brothers, nephews, cousins -- who got sucked into online gambling.

You've heard the rationale before: "I just play the penny slots. What's wrong with that?" "I've played poker for years; you want me to stop now?" And the kicker: "I have so few sources of enjoyment left...  Read more

Going through cancer treatment is traumatic enough, and no one expects cancer patients to do anything more than try to get well. But some cancer survivors and their families turn around and use their experience with cancer to create foundations and services to help other cancer patients. And many times these services are among the best, because they're created with the insights that only another cancer patient can have. Here are a few inspirational -- and useful --- stories about cancer services created by cancer-stricken families. They're my cancer heroes and heroines of the day.

A Matching Service to Help Breast Cancer Patients Find the Right Clinical Trials

A new and incredibly valuable service,BreastCancerTrials.org was conceived by two San Francisco breast cancer patients, Joan Schreiner and Joanne Tyler, who met when a breast surgeon put them in touch with each other. Joan, whose cancer had metastasized before it was detected, found out firsthand how hard it was to find information on treatments that might help her...  Read more

Image by HikingArtist.com used under the creative commons attribution license.

Watching those close to us age is stressful for everyone, but certain situations seem guaranteed to set family members against one another and start families unraveling at the seams.

And nothing causes more distrust and divisiveness among siblings than feeling they're not being treated equally or that one sibling is taking advantage of a parent at the others' expense. Case in point: Our message boards at Caring.com are filled with discussions about difficult family situations involving money, uneven sharing of caregiving responsibilities, dishonesty, or all three.

When One Sibling Repeatedly Borrows Money From a Parent and Other Siblings Resent It

This story plays out in all sorts of ways, but the central player is an adult child (or cousin, or nephew...) in difficult straits who frequently goes to aging parents asking for "loans," help with living arrangements, or out and out handouts...  Read more

Here in California where I live, the news hasn't been good this week, with 11 swine flu deaths reported. And nationwide, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported almost 300 deaths since the first of September. No question these are serious numbers, and there's plenty of reason for anxiety, so don't be hard on yourself if you're fretting.

But the best way to handle anxiety, I've found, is to face fear with facts. If you understand what you're afraid of, you can take steps to protect yourself. And if you feel you've been proactive, you can take a deep breath, knowing you've done what you can.

Here's what you need to know:

Be patient and persistent. While there has been some confusion and disorganization at some of the earliest flu shot drives, that's no reason to give up. (In some states, clinics have announced flu shot events, then people arrive to find signs posted saying the vaccine isn't available after all...  Read more

Image by x-ray delta one used under the creative commons attribution share alike license.

It's scary to think about cancer, but even scarier to think that we might unknowingly be doing things that put our families at risk.

I'll never forget the day I was cleaning my mom's bathroom, and her caregiver arrived. She smelled the bleach spray I was using all the way from the front door and asked me what I was doing, then gently admonished me that the harsh chemicals weren't good for my mom's lungs, already weak from a lifetime of cigarette smoking. I felt terrible, of course, but also bewildered. After all, I'd been trying to do something nice. Using my experience as a starting point, I thought I'd round up the latest thinking on household chemicals and the risk of cancer and other serious illness. Here are my top five tips.

1. Spring clean the cleaning products. The number one rule of thumb, doctors and environmental safety experts say, is read the ingredient list carefully on anything you're going to be spraying in the air or wiping on touchable surfaces...  Read more

Image by TheTruthAbout... used under the creative commons attribution share alike license.

If you care for an aging family member, I'm guessing I don't have to point out to you the parallel with raising children. There's a reason we're called the "sandwich generation" -- we're the peanut butter and jelly holding together two pieces of bread: our children and our aging parents. But I bet you might not realize that many of the tax breaks we receive from the government for childrearing are available in similar form for taking care of our aging relatives.

Here's a rundown of how your status as a family caregiver might earn you some breaks at tax time:

1. Take advantage of income tax breaks available to caregivers. The one I hear about most from my friends in this situation is the ability to claim a parent as a dependent on your taxes. The criteria for doing this? You must have provided more than half of your parent's total support for the calendar year. Also, your parent's gross annual income has to be below $3500...  Read more

It can be really scary when a doctor tells you that you have pre-diabetes, or that the results of a glucose test show you're at risk for diabetes. Pre-diabetes is diagnosed when blood glucose is between 100 and 125 mg/dL or when a glucose tolerance test shows the glucose in your blood to be between 140 and 199 mg/dL. But too many times this news is presented in a passive way -- as if it's just something you have to live with.

Actually, studies show, pre-diabetes is just that -- a sign that your body is on the way to getting diabetes. And just as you can lower blood pressure or cholesterol that's in the high normal range, you can prevent diabetes by taking steps to keep it at bay.

To start with, analyze the top risk factors that could be putting you at risk for diabetes. If you have two or more of these risk factors, diabetes could be on the horizon for you, and you might want to pay attention to all strategies that work to protect against it...  Read more

What with October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month and the pink ribbons everywhere, breast cancer is even more on our minds than usual. What better time to think about prevention and awareness? Are you worried about the possibility of breast cancer in your future, or in the future of someone you love? Here are the top ten things you can do to ensure a breast cancer-free future for yourself and your loved ones.

Detection:

1. Get regular mammograms. It sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised how many women don't. Last week an Australian study found that women who get regular mammograms had a 4 percent risk of dying of breast cancer; women who weren't screened had a 56 percent mortality rate. Ready to make that appointment?

2. Find out whether you or women close to you have dense breasts. What does this mean? It means the breast cells grow and multiply more rapidly, raising your risk. Plus dense breasts make it harder for a mammogram to "see" through the tissue and detect a tumor...  Read more

Image by nofear089 used under the creative commons attribution license.

Recently I heard from Sarah, an old friend, about a hard situation she's in that I'm sure many Caring.com readers can relate to. Sarah's mother-in-law moved in with her and her family more than a year ago, and since then Sarah's had a really hard time dealing with her husband's siblings, who aren't helping out as much as they promised.

But what Sarah's finding even more stressful is that the expense -- both in direct costs and in time lost from work -- of having an elderly person join the household is much greater than she expected. And what really galls her? No one else in the family seems motivated to chip in. "This summer it really got to me," Sarah told me. "We were stuck here in the Midwest heat, working ourselves to the bone keeping up with our jobs and caring for mom, while my husband's sister's family went to the Bahamas, and his brother and his wife spent weeks at their lake cabin...  Read more

Image by def110 used under the creative commons attribution share alike license.

The supplement resveratrol, a key ingredient in red wine and grapes, has been endlessly touted as an alternative treatment for preventing and treating many conditions. I wrote about its anti-cancer benefits in a previous post, and it's also thought to help with general anti-aging. Now experts are saying it may be particularly beneficial for people with diabetes and pre-diabetes.

I know from tough experience that when you or a family member has diabetes or pre-diabetes, it feels like a constant struggle -- and source of tremendous worry -- to keep blood sugar under control.

Recently, studies have suggested that taking the supplement resveratrol could be a safe and simple way to do this. Research shows resveratrol appears to boost insulin sensitivity, helping the body process sugar into energy.

The latest study, released this week, was important for people with diabetes and their families because it proved definitively that resveratrol activates sirtuins, which are proteins in the brain that have immediate control over glucose metabolism...  Read more

Image by Phillie Casablanca used under the creative commons attribution license.

I know we're all anxious about swine flu this season, but the truth is that for most people, the flu -- no matter what type of flu it is -- doesn't pose a serious danger.

Colds and flu normally cause what doctors like to refer to as “self-limited” illness -- this means you feel sick but eventually get better on your own. Typically there’s really no point in calling the doctor, because antibiotics don’t work on flu, since it’s caused by a virus. Anti-viral medications, such as Tamiflu, aren't usually necessary to recover.

In some cases, though, the flu develops into something more dangerous, such as pneumonia or other complications.

Here are 10 warning signs that it’s time to call the doctor.

1. High fever – over 101 degrees for more than a day
   
   
2. Fast, shallow breathing or rapid pulse
3. Difficulty breathing – feeling like you can’t draw in a breath or get enough air ir...  Read more

Image by formatc1 used under the creative commons attribution share alike license.

I'll never forget the time my mom came home after a class at a local community center, announcing that she'd met this nice gentleman who was going to help her move her retirement account to a new company that would "pay much better." Luckily for both of us, my mom's account was managed by a trustworthy local advisor who, when she asked to move it, did some quick digging. I got the call, Mom and I had a talk, and all was well. I got lucky, because someone asked questions and knew to call me.

But in other households around the country, things aren't going so well.

Newly minted, self-styled financial advisors are setting up shop to take advantage of seniors, and they can be hard to spot. The trend is coming to light as several states, including Massachusetts, Minnesota, and New York, have big lawsuits pending over legitimate-sounding financial planning services marketed to seniors that are in reality scams...  Read more