Comment on Understanding What It Means to Be Old

Anonymous — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 13:34:17 -0000

The comments about these books were very helpful and Ilook forward to reading them.

Comment on Is It Time For Your Parents To Give Up The Car Keys?

ReneeLease — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 23:16:53 -0000

Glad to have this opportunity to voice my concerns. My husband seems to be forgetting, not knowing where he is at times and cannot remember a request to do something. I am a caregiver with some help, but find it very unsettling to have him to anything on his own. He is 85 years old and until recently, after heart valve replacement 1 year ago, he condition was normal. I do have a website in which I ask for suggestions to help me cope with my onset depression and his onsset of what I think is dementia. www.sowhataboutme.blog.com Renee Lease

Comment on Sandwich Generation: Dispatches Part 2

Anonymous — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 15:17:24 -0000

Great article. As part of the sandwich generation we all feel these pressures. Check out www.genwich.com, it's a great resource for dealing with these issues.

Comment on Fighting for Breath: A Mother's Last Weeks of Life

Connie Matthiessen — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:30:54 -0000

Thanks for you note. Like many caregivers, Laura Juel found herself in a crisis situation, and was responding to events as they arose. She didn't know that her mother's doctor didn't believe in comfort care until her mother was in distress. After a struggle, she was able to get help for her mother, and is particularly grateful for the support she received from hospice, which I'll describe in more detail next week.

Comment on Fighting for Breath: A Mother's Last Weeks of Life

msmaddog — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 15:45:32 -0000

I don't quite understand, a Doctor is NOT God. Could u not fire him, or put your're Mom in a more caring facility. Because of this man's beliefs you're Mom was allowed to suffer needlessly. I will make my children aware of the power that some people have over you're end time and see that it doesn't happen to me. What kind of "Doctor" doenn't believe in comfort care!!!

Comment on A Grandchild Steps In to Help Her Family

Connie Matthiessen — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:03:08 -0000

Thanks, Krista -- I appreciate the tip. Thanks, too, for all the interesting -- and useful -- information on your blog. Connie Matthiessen

Comment on A Grandchild Steps In to Help Her Family

Krista Renenger — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 17:03:29 -0000

Reading your post reminded me of another item I had read a few months ago from Sheryl Karas' . She offers some tips families should think about when making this type of arrangement that might be helpful to you and others. She recommends that everyone understands where the grandparent is medically, and where he/she might be headed, and also that families recognize the value of live-in services so that there is no resentment by any party. Krista Renenger Hospice and Caregiving Blog

Comment on Prescription Addiction Part 4: One Family's Story

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 16:00:07 -0000

Very helpful article. Something to watch out for as children and caretakers. Thanks!

Comment on Prescription Addiction: Are Your Parents at Risk?

Cathie — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 11:04:00 -0000

My mom is a prescription ADDICT. I fear for her. She takes alot of medications and is always looking for an illness or condition to go to the doctor for so that she can get new and improved medications. Anything/everything not just pain meds. I think she believes that there is a pill that will fix everything/anything. She's aware that she reaching the end of her life and I think she is just so very afraid, confussed, and not ready to be old enough to die. I think she is in so much pain physically, mentally, and emotionally and doesn't want to lose control of who she is/was and wants to remain, that she HOPES with all she is/has that it doesn't have to be this way she has turned to prescription drugs. I mean after all they do help her get through each day with some kind of pleasure God knows that life for her is painful and scary as hell. The ones that deal with her physical pain, the ones that keep her from getting so nervous when she gets confused going out to the doctors,dentist, or just out, the ones that help her not be so scared to be by herself, or the ones that just make her sit-watch t.v.-and not think about life at all, the ones that help her not remember where she's at or how many things are different than what she remembers or believes things are and the doctors aren't shy about giving strong medications to the elderly to ease suffering for them. The medications help our elderly ignore the fact that they are being pushed aside by this world because they are elderly. Seriously, think about it. I visited my natural father shortly before he passed away and the nurse at the nursing home brought him in the two cartons of cigarettes that his friend had dropped off for him and she says to him, "you know these are not good for your health? You shouldn't smoke." He said to her. "Shoot lady, You gotta die of something and old age just takes to damn long." His age brought him several illnesses that made his life so painful and uncomfortable that he just hated every single day, every day, no matter what, rain or shine he was in pain all day every day. If I could take some of mom's confussion, fear, and-or her pain so that she could enjoy her days better, I'd do it in a minute cause I rather go through the pain for her than see her go through it. Or feel like a real piece of work because I lose my patience, or get to busy to just be with her and make her feel safer or loved. I feel like such a horrid person for being so selfish and uncompassionate towards her sometimes. She probably feels exactly the same way about me sometimes. I need to stop and love my mom everything I have and remember every second of every day, that confussion, fear, pain, and death are horrid enough, I don't want to be just another horrid thing she has to deal with every day. I kinda got off base a little here, but to end this. So what if they are dependant on prescription drugs, it's probably the only thing left in their lives that they can depend on.

Comment on Parents' Driving Worries Baby Boomers, But No One Wants to Talk About It

Anonymous — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 23:03:29 -0000

One thing I do not understand is why any State would renew a driver's license for someone who is 90 years old via the mail !. My uncle who should not be driving renewed his license at 90 years old via the mail. He has a club foot he walks with a walker he recently developed gout in his right wrist and he thinks he can drive. The registry gave him a license for the next 5 years. So who am I to say he can't drive. My grandmother is 93 she drives and she is fine I am very confident in her driving. She does not drive at night and she does not go far. But, my uncle should not be driving. We can't get his doctor to do anything as we do not have medical proxy. He has been in 3 accidents in the last year and each time he talks his way out of it. In fact his insurance premiums have gone down ! Unbelievable.

Comment on Aging Artfully - Part II

Cindy57 — Thu, 29 May 2008 13:23:15 -0000

This is so true...My grandmother loved working with her hands..She was wheelchair bound but that didn't stop her from filling her days with activities.. She drew the pictures that would end up on the Christmas cards that would be sent to families, she was always involved in arts and crafts and loved it.. I supplied her with everything she needed to keep busy and she would make dolls, jewelry, quilts, all sorts of things.. She died last Sept. and I miss her everyday.. You knew she was happy if she had a project going..We have to always remember that just because they are old doesn't mean that they can't function, its amazing what they can do with a little encouragement.. Thanks for this article, it brought all sorts of memories back..

Comment on Aging Artfully, Part 1

Fri, 23 May 2008 12:11:18 -0000

Excellent article. Thank you!!!

Comment on Sex for Life

JoanPrice — Thu, 08 May 2008 21:47:42 -0000

Thank you for this thoughtful post acknowledging the existence -- and the benefits! -- of elder sexuality. You're right that it's a wonderful and vital part of life for many of us. Thank you also for mentioning my book and my blog, where we're talking about sex and aging. I'm grateful that you're letting your readers know about both! Joan Price author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty (http://www.joanprice.com/BetterThanExpected.htm) Join us -- we're talking about ageless sexuality at http://www.betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com

Comment on The Mother's Day Gift That Keeps on Giving

Connie Matthiessen — Sun, 04 May 2008 06:43:33 -0000

Thanks for your note, Yvonne -- and your reminder to make the most of the time with our mothers and other loved ones while we can...

Comment on The Mother's Day Gift That Keeps on Giving

Yvonne — Sat, 03 May 2008 05:07:03 -0000

Thank you for having this article! I lost my mom when I was 28 after she fought a 15 year battle with Parkinson's Disease. It's been nearly a decade now and only very recently has the pain lessened. I'm at an age and stage in my life now where I need my mom again. I need her advice, her wisdom, and I want to get to know her woman to woman, wife to wife, friend to friend rather than just mother to daughter. Sadly, that will never be. She will never know my kids and vice versa. She will never know who I am and how I turned out. I really encourage everyone, particularly young people, to stop your hurried life and self-focus for a day or two and for moms to stop your own focus as well so you can take time out with your adult children. You might learn a few things--and you may have fewer regrets before it's too late.

Comment on The Mother's Day Gift That Keeps on Giving

Connie Matthiessen — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:19:08 -0000

Thanks for your comments, littlebit, lissyrox and Anonymous. It's wonderful to hear from all of you!

Comment on The Mother's Day Gift That Keeps on Giving

Thu, 01 May 2008 22:51:50 -0000

I never forget how lucky I am to have my mother still with us. Thank you for your ideas on how we can show our mothers how much they mean to us!

Comment on The Mother's Day Gift That Keeps on Giving

lissyrox — Thu, 01 May 2008 16:57:16 -0000

I am the only child and my mother and I are extremly close. She is my best friend and she has supported me in all aspects of my life. She recently turned 62 and I am watching her age, gracefully I might add. It is something to watch this process and I find myself becoming more aware of the fact that I could loose my mother at any time. I make it a point to show special love to her. I am married now but we do lunch once a week and I go to her house to help her clean and hang out with her. We talk for hours on the phone and she loves that I still need her, which I always will. There is nothing like a mothers love.

Comment on The Mother's Day Gift That Keeps on Giving

littlebit — Thu, 01 May 2008 15:40:10 -0000

Thanks for thinking of moms that are gone. I miss my mom so much and she's been gone for 7 years now but it still feels just like yesterday. I think of her all the time and wish she was here. She only went through the 8th grade but she had so much wisdom and raised 7 children. She always did for her family and never thought about her own needs. I think Mothers Day is the hardest day of the year for me even though I have a child of my own and 2 grandchildren. She's buried in a cute little cemetery just down the street from me and I say hi everyday I go by. There's no oneelse in the world like a mother.

Comment on It Takes a Neighborhood (Part II)

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:00:50 -0000

I think the stories ahout Andy and his friends are very inspiring and encourage others to seek out lonely elders.

Comment on It Takes a Neighborhood (Part II)

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:20:40 -0000

As in so many cases, the people who reached out to help someone else ended up receiving perhaps more than they gave. Very inspirational!!

Comment on It Takes a Neighborhood (Pt. 1)

bernalmom — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 19:56:32 -0000

thank you, a great way a community can get involved nd become like family

Comment on It Takes a Neighborhood (Pt. 1)

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 22:44:25 -0000

A touching article!

Comment on It Takes a Neighborhood (Pt. 1)

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:31:57 -0000

interesting and informatiave thanks for sharing it

Comment on Caregiving Isn't for Sissies

Connie Matthiessen — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:26:49 -0000

Hi Pat -- I completely agree. You'll be a better caregiver if you take care of yourself, too. I'll talk more about this in a future blog... Thanks for writing. Connie Matthiessen

Comment on Caregiving Isn't for Sissies

Pat — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 22:08:21 -0000

People MUST NOT be afraid to hire an agency for respite care. Maybe not all the time, but from time to time - for their own well being and health.

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