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Dear caregiver to someone with Alzheimer's or another dementia: I know February 14 (Sunday) is Valentine's Day. But I'm not going to suggest any Valentine's-themed crafts for your loved one with dementia. Nor am I going to issue reminders that someone with dementia might still appreciate a mushy hearts-and-flowers Valentine, a box of chocolates, or a bright bouquet.

Instead, I'm going to ask some questions that are not so flowery (but full of heart): Has anyone given you a hard time about your caregiving lately? Have you been accused, say, of spending too much time taking care of one person to the exclusion of others? Of making yourself crazy? Of running yourself ragged? Of the 10 signs of caring too much?

Has anyone uttered that dreaded word burnout?

I had a fascinating conversation the other day about this touchy topic with Caring.com senior medical editor Ken Robbins, a geriatric psychiatrist at the University of Wisconsin, who knows caregivers and their stresses well...  Read more

I can't tell you how often I hear the same story from friends, colleagues, or from readers here at Caring.com. It always follows the same outline: The oncologist, working as diligently as possible to come up with an effective treatment plan, tells a cancer patient and her family that a particular treatment is the best option. But the treatment is expensive, and the insurance company refuses to cover it.

Sometimes the reason given is that it's not the "standard of care," meaning someone at the company has looked at a list of treatment protocols and doesn't see this one listed. Sometimes the treatment is deemed "experimental," although doctors have plenty of evidence that it works. Sometimes the reasons behind the decision are even murkier, such as in this great "rant" (his term, not mine) by oncologist and blogger Doctor David, who describes a case in which the insurance company's wording was that "there was no evidence" the treatment he'd selected was "useful in this disease...  Read more

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With the President of the United States having proclaimed this month American Heart Month, it seems like a good time to focus on what we can do to keep ourselves and our older family members heart-healthy.

1. Watch for unusual symptoms.

Most men first realize they have heart problems when they experience pain or become short of breath. But for women, symptoms can be quite different, which is why heart disease is so often missed in women. A study of female heart attack survivors found that most remembered experiencing sleeplessness and unusual fatigue within the month before their heart attacks. And while it's not considered a classic risk factor, stress is now known to play a role in the onset of heart disease.

2. Schedule a physical and discuss any symptoms with your doctor.

Make sure you tell the doctor if your family has any history of heart disease, high blood pressure, heart attack, or stroke...  Read more

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Routine is an effective way to smooth the day for people with dementia. Unfortunately, too much repetition can leave a dementia caregiver feeling like a dog chasing her tail in circles -- or like poor, stressed Bill Murray in the old movie "Groundhog Day," about the man doomed to repeat the same day over and over again.

Fortunately it is possible to snap yourself out of a caregiving rut. Some strategies to try:

• Keep a diary of the highs and lows of your day.

You may think your "whole situation" makes you stressed, but it's more likely that there are some very specific triggers to what makes you especially unhappy – as well as especially happy. Without paying conscious attention, it may be hard to ferret this out. But really knowing your triggers is the first step to being able to change (or protect) them.

• Focus on what you can change, rather than what you can't.

You can't change your loved one's progressive disease...  Read more

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A couple of weeks ago I started the new year off with a post about anti-cancer new year's resolutions. I outlined 5 steps we can take this year to protect ourselves from cancer. A caring.com user commented to say that while my tips were valuable, I'd neglected to talk about reducing stress.

And I have to agree: Stress-reduction is an important effort we all need to embark on if we want to stay healthy. This year, researchers have unveiled studies showing that stress not only contributes to cancer and other illnesses but can also cause relapses and recurrences, as well.

So okay, great, stress is bad. But what can we do? Between work stress, money stress, and the stress of caring for our aging family members (not to mention children), we're pulled in a zillion directions already. How in the world are we going to reduce our stress? I get stressed just thinking about it!

So I asked some experts for easy, quick stress-reducers; things we can do for just a few minutes each day to bring some relaxation into our lives...  Read more

At Caring.com, we constantly hear stories of frustration and pain as our users try to help their aging parents, spouses, and other family members continue to live in health and safety. We also get many requests for information and assistance from users whose family members can't make ends meet.

One of the hardest issues to manage for older family members and caregivers is understanding and negotiating the maze of legal and financial issues around Medicare, Social Security, and other financial benefit systems.

Last week, we ran a news story that recounted how elderly people with diabetes can't pay for medications due to changes in the Medicare Part D drug benefit program. The article generated many comments from upset Caring.com members; they say seniors who take medication to control diabetes are falling through what's known as the "doughnut hole" in coverage. Without the aid, families are unable to pay for the drugs they need...  Read more

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Can food reverse or slow memory loss? Some new studies suggest a big… "maybe." But as with hopes for a miracle pill or supplement that can vanquish dementia, "maybe" is a ways off from "yes."

Your first clue to take recent nutrition news about dementia with a shaker of salt is the word "miracle" attached to the headlines, Two examples:

Miracle shake?

Danone (parent company of the yogurt maker Dannon) has been testing a nutrient-dense milkshake called Souvenaid that contains high doses of omega-3 oils, B vitamins, antioxidants, wheat germ, and other nutrients. Initial research in Europe and the U.S. showed limited benefits in language recall among people with mild dementia, but not much other change.

Miracle juice?

In a separate study, wild blueberry juice is fingered as the go-to food of the day. The Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry reports that its concentration...  Read more

Researchers unveiled a new blood test this week that they say can detect colon cancer cells early and identify precancerous cells, as well. It's much simpler -- and more comfortable -- than a colonoscopy and will likely be inexpensive, as well. What's the rub? We're not there yet; it still needs more testing.

But the research was big news among colon cancer experts at the American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO) Gastrointestinal Cancers Symposium this week. Those of us concerned about colorectal cancer risk need to pay close attention to the future availability of this test and others like it.

Why? Right now the problem with colorectal cancers is that they're silent killers; people usually don't know they have a tumor until they have blood in their stool, at which time they tell their doctor and a colonoscopy is performed. Blood that's present in the stool but isn't visible can be detected with a fecal occult blood test (FOBT)...  Read more

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If you ever needed proof that caring for an aging or ill family member can be bad for your health if you don't pay enough attention to YOU, here it is. Researchers at the University of South Florida studied close to 800 people caring for a sick spouse and found that those who reported caregiving as "stressful" were 23 percent more likely to also rate at high risk for stroke based on traditional risk factors.

The connection between stress and stroke was particularly strong for husbands caring for ailing wives, said psychologist William Haley, who led the research team and published the study in the journal Stroke.

The researchers measured each participant's stroke risk using the Framingham Stroke Risk Score, which assesses a series of risk factors such as blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes, smoking, and age, and then delivers an overall stroke risk...  Read more

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If you're caring for someone with Alzheimer's or another dementia, you need several categories of people at your disposal. Among them:

1) Someone to listen: A spouse, a best friend, a sibling –- someone reliably receptive who you can call day or night when you need to vent is a must.

2) A doctor you trust: Especially early in the journey, you want a physician who can tell you what's normal and what's not, and who can help you make the hard choices that dementia diagnosis and care often involves. A geriatrician is usually the best choice if you can find one.

3) Family, friends, and neighbors: Where would any of us be without a circle of dear ones who can provide hands-on help?

4) Knowledgeable experts: Those with expertise can answer questions, offer advice, guide you along the way. They're as near as local resources or as far flung as the Internet.

5) Caregivers who are treading the very same road...  Read more