My father seems interested in moving in with me -- and I don't want him to.

By Carol O'Dell, Caring.com Contributing Writer

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ID:

11052

First Published:

06-Apr-2008

Last updated on

Monday April 07, 2008

Related Topics:

care giving , family , heart disease , exercise , friends , moving , life , exercise classes , falling , communication , father , husband , son , daughter , health , wills , brother , relationships , move parents to assisted living , dealing with depression , stress , retirement , parents , work , assisted living , depression

5 Comments

1. Posted by Anonymous 3 months ago

   I think you should do whatever you can for your Dad, that is where you came from, and without him, you would not be here----and neither would your children. You Can work it out. Say your prayers , and really believe. God can do anything, we are very limited. K

2. Posted by SchaferLTC 3 months ago

   Which is worse? Needing care or having to provide care. Many of the tensions of caregiving could be eased with better planning.

3. Posted by SchaferLTC 3 months ago

   Don't let this happen to your children. Plan early. Save. Invest. Insure.

4. Posted by Kona 4 months ago

   Yes, this was a great response to a question that seems to be more common these days. Children have to be strong and you need to talk to others and weigh the pros and cons of taking in a frail parent. My husband and I took in his 87 year old mom after her husband and only other son passed away. It has been a very long and frustrating 2 1/2 years of caring for her in our home. It has changed our lives dramatically, not for the better. After she had a few falls, it has become even more difficult. Money is an issue, so assisted care for her is not affordable. She says if we put her in a nursing home, she will starve herself to death first. I could go on for hours, but thank you for allowing me to vent and thanks for addressing a great question so well.

5. Posted by Anonymous 5 months ago

   This is an excellent response to a common and thorny issue. I agree that honesty is best. And remembering that you should not create scenarios that you can't live with. I can relate to the feelings of guilt for not offering to have my mother live with me and my family, but I know that I can still be a great caregiver even is she is not under my roof.