Depression and the Too-Secret Grief of the Dementia Caregiver

Cathie 3 months ago

Your article made sense and nailed how I am feeling. My mom has dementia along with they have her on some serious pain meds and the "anticipated grief" is more painful I think than if she actually died. To see her getting farther and farther out there in a world of her own and not being able to reach her totally. It feels like as if she were hamging over a cliff clutching my hand and I was slowly losing my grasp and she was slipping farther and farther and not being to hold on to her. The accusations of stealing her car cause she doesn't remember she asked me to go to the store or remembering giving me permission to use it to run errands. Or the accusations of stealing her money cause she forgot she told me to go to the bank or go buy her something. She gets very vindictive and down right evil-mean sometimes. Or gets up in the middle of the night and thinks she's cooking for someone and turns on the stove. It's scarey cause I am afraid I won't hear her if she falls, or leaves the stove on and starts a fire. There is no hope and joy in my life right now and I want so badly to be a pleasant thought to my mom. She is deeply depressed also cause she knows how bad she is getting and doesn't want to lose her mind, get old and die. She's scared too. But, because she thinks I am trying to take from her she doesn't trust me enough to confide in me about something so intimate. I truly feel totally lost most the time.