A "Sandwiched" Daughter Says Enough is Enough
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- ID:
- 11198
- First Published:
- 12-Apr-2008
- Last updated on
- Wednesday April 16, 2008
- Summary:
- A "sandwich generation" caregiver describes how asking for help saved her sanity — and her family.
Posted by Anonymous 4 months ago
to anyamous. i took care of my grandparents, my mom and two sisters still at home with her, and my family. whiel going threw a ivf cycle ran a small bath store that i had to give up because the stress caused me toloose one of the twins. then the baby came 7 weeks early even tho we moved i closed the store and became a sahm... while at childrens hospital (this is no joke) i had to get my grandmother in atlantic to a hospital in desmoinse by ambulance and i couldnt get to her but i managed thanks to the help of my sister whos now 25 and then whiel talking to my best friend she got a beep on the phone and her brrother had hung himself that night. and things have just kept getting worse however the baby is home now and almost 6 months old! and finally healthy! and my breakdown came last monday after being scammed for our entire paycheck for the moth and anothor friend using a gun to commit sucide. i can relate to how hard it is and they didnt even all live with me.all women need to know that as she so very well put it at some point that cape HAS TO coe off so we can breathe. i have one friend that will tell me "girl no matter what everyone else thinks your not super woman your human " loll i dont think i beleaved her until just recently. so thanks for your story it made me think.
Posted by nice1 5 months ago
I care for three children, work, and my aging parents. Two comments. One, you do need to set boundaries for your parents. My parents, who live next door, started coming over at all times unannounced, which they would never have done when they had all of their faculties. It was hard but I set boundaries on this, and after an adjustment period, it worked out well. Also, per the above comment, about being "care supervisors", I would caution readers that care givers usually are doing their best at a VERY difficult job. I have seen people very angry because their mom or dad fell or became ill; it isn't fair to get upset about something that could have happened no matter who is caring for them. If you have help, have high expectations but be respectful.
Posted by MollyManpussy 5 months ago
alright Miss Thaaaaaaang!
Posted by SchaferLTC 5 months ago
Next week I'll post a list of other sanity-saving suggestions for those caring for their parents at home. Please send along your own -- I bet the reader above would love to hear what has worked for you and your family. All of us would -- care giving can be a lonely business, but with so many of us in the same boat, it really doesn't need to be. Correct. It doesn't need to be. Long-term care planning is important. How important? I don’t want you to ever find out personally but imagine being forced to care for someone….you really don’t want to, you aren’t prepared to, you don’t know how to, but some where along the line you said you would, now you MUST. Almost like signing up for a marathon and you haven't even gone for a jog. Caregiving is so much more than fluffing up the pillow and bringing in tea and cookies. That’s the sad story for so many families. At least with proper planning, which may include LTC insurance, you have more money to call in the professionals for assistance. Family members can be care supervisors, not care providers.