Maria Basso Lipani

About

Maria Basso Lipani is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in both New York and California and a graduate of Columbia University where she received a Master's Degree in Social Work in 2000 with a special focus on Aging. Having worked with chronically ill older adults and their family members for several years in an outpatient medical setting, Maria now resides in New York where she manages a federally funded program for family caregivers. Additionally, she answers questions about geriatric care management on a website devoted to the topic and also offers consultations to family caregivers through her private practice.

Links

Recently Published on Caring.com

  1. Monday November 16, 2009

    1. Mom needs to move in with me, but how do I proceed?

      Answer - I’m so sorry to hear about your father’s death. Sudden deaths are very traumatic and in this case even more so because the loss revealed something you didn’t know about your mother…and that something changes everything.

    2. Is assisted living right for Mom even though it angers my siblings?

      Answer - Probably the toughest part about caring for an aging parent (or caring for anyone for that matter) is that there is no handbook. Only you know your mom and her temperament so it’s tough for me to lay out an exact strategy. That said, I think what’s most important in all of this is that...

  2. Monday October 26, 2009

    1. What housing options are available?

  3. Wednesday October 07, 2009

    1. How do you go about finding a Geriatric Care Manager?

      Answer - There are three core services that I recommend family caregivers look for from a geriatric care manager and your question includes all three. They are:

  4. Friday October 02, 2009

    1. How do I find an elder care moving manager?

      Answer - What you described as an “elder care moving manager” is more commonly known as a “relocation specialist,” but the concept is exactly the same. In fact, an entire niche market has sprung up in recent years to assist with moves that occur later in life.

  5. Friday September 25, 2009

    1. Where do I find a companion for my dad?

      Answer - You have a few options for finding a companion for your elderly father. The first two no-cost thoughts I have are as follows:

  6. Thursday September 24, 2009

    1. How do we get Mom to move out?

      Answer - You and your wife have every right to have your home back if your mother-in-law’s behavior and sister-in-law’s interfering are intolerable. No one can force either of you to personally provide your mother-in-law with housing and care, not even the state...

  7. Tuesday September 15, 2009

    1. What is the process for getting a loved one placed in a care home?

      Answer - The process of moving a person with dementia to a care home is one that's often left to the family or the person who has durable power of attorney (DPOA). If an older adult with cognitive impairment has neither family nor a DPOA, the state would step in and appoint a guardian to make decisions about care...

  8. Sunday September 13, 2009

    1. Where do I start caring for my aunt?

      Answer - In a situation like this, the only option for your aunt may be a nursing home. However, in order to pay for one she'll need to apply for Medicaid.

    2. How can I find a private group home?

      Answer - You are absolutely right. Small private group homes are tough to locate. For one, they don't have the marketing budgets of the big places which is why you're not likely to find them in the usual places.

    3. How do we get Mom to see the need for longterm care?

      Answer - Depending upon whether your mother-in-law has early or middle stage dementia, moving her at this time could prove challenging. Not because it is her choice or something that she needs to necessarily agree to, but because in her mind she is quite capable of caring for herself and perhaps even capable enough to care for her dying husband...

  9. Thursday August 06, 2009

    1. How can we make visits to the nursing home easier on us all?

      Answer - The best advice I can offer you is to give it time. Transitions are tough for all involved. The decision to place a family member in a nursing home is one of the most difficult – particularly if the older adult prefers to remain at home...

    2. My parents are divided on assisted living - what do we do?

      Answer - This is a tough one; I don’t envy your position here. Often when a person refuses a move to an assisted living it’s based on a strong desire to remain in his/her home and maintain the lifestyle he/she has grown accustomed to, mixed in with some fear of the unknown...

  10. Wednesday July 15, 2009

    1. Can he be forced out of assisted living?

      Answer - A nursing home is not the appropriate setting for a relatively young person who is physically active and still able to care for himself in many ways. I think you are 100% right to question the facility’s rationale and you should know that the facility cannot force this transition...

    2. How can we get mom to take a step back from being a controlling caregiver?

      Answer - You learned years ago to “set up boundaries” with your mom and now it’s time to reinforce them. The good news is that it sounds as if you were successful once in modifying her behavior. Spend a few moments thinking back to what you did before and why it worked. Chances are it would again.

  11. Thursday July 09, 2009

    1. How do we deal with my mother who refuses to seek medical attention?

      Answer - If your mother refuses to seek medical attention after she falls, perhaps she would be willing to talk about how to reduce her risk of falling. It’s been my experience that fiercely independent seniors are easily engaged in talks about preventative measures because prevention is in perfect allignment...

    2. Does Medicare pay for part-time home care?

      Answer - The short answer to your question is no. If your mother’s injuries were severe enough to require elaborate dressing changes (i.e. more than basic ointment application and bandaging) then a nurse might be assigned for a temporary period of time and with her (possibly) an aide...

  12. Wednesday July 08, 2009

    1. Is it good to limit visiting of a dementia patient?

      Answer - Listen to your gut because you are exactly right. Crowds and noise often bring about agitation for a person with dementia, not to mention stress for you when you add "hostess" and "host" to the list of hats you and your husband wear on a regular basis.

    2. Should we take my Dad to a neurologist for Alzheimer's dizziness?

      Answer - A visit to the doctor to discuss new behaviors never hurts. In this case it seems like a good idea particularly if the dizziness is a new symptom for him. However, I want to address his reaction to the near fall.

  13. Wednesday July 01, 2009

    1. Can you be evicted from a long term care facility?

      Answer - This is a great question. If your loved one resides in an assisted living or independent apartment and becomes unable to pay the bill, and if family cannot step in to cover the cost, he or she will be asked to leave. If he or she does not leave, the facility may begin the eviction process.

  14. Sunday June 07, 2009

    1. Can my father's credit card bills be set aside?

      Answer - To be clear, a person's credit card debt cannot be transferred to his or her family upon his or her death. This means that your father's credit card debt will die with him. I'm mentioning this because collection agencies will say almost anything to get the debt repaid, so it's important that you be...

  15. Friday June 05, 2009

    1. How can I stop family from taking advantage of my mom?

      Answer - I’m assuming here that your mother’s judgment is impaired due to a dementia or other cognitive impairment and that you have enacted your Power of Attorney as a result. If so, be sure to check the Power of Attorney document itself to confirm that your mother gave you authority over matters related to personal property...

    2. Is there a senior financial caregiving service?

  16. Saturday May 23, 2009

    1. When is it time for a nursing home?

      Answer - Your question raises one of the most challenging decisions caregivers face, so thanks for posting it. While there is no absolute right time to place a parent in a nursing home below are some guidelines.

    2. Can Mom be "kicked out" of assisted living?

  17. Thursday May 21, 2009

    1. Is there a law for assisted living room size?

      Answer - Title VII of the Older Americans Act requires that each state have an ombudsman program that functions solely to "investigate and resolve complaints made by or on behalf of older individuals who are residents of long term care facilities". The link below will help you locate the program in your state...

  18. Wednesday May 06, 2009

    1. How do I deal with the stress, frustration and anger associated with caregiving?

      Answer - Thank you so much for your honesty. Although it’s not often discussed, so many caregivers are standing with you at the same crossroads. The care they provide feels all-encompassing and they’re lost in it - unable to bear any more and tempted to let the load down.

  19. Monday May 04, 2009

    1. How do I stop the guilt trip from my mother since putting her in a nursing home?

      Answer - Stopping the guilt trips is something you don’t have control over. The best you can do is to change your behavior which in turn, may modify hers.

  20. Saturday May 02, 2009

    1. Where can I find a support group for caregivers of dementia...

      Answer - The Alzheimer’s Association really is the best place for a caregiver of someone with Alzheimer’s or another dementia to look when seeking local support. To find groups in Palm Beach County, search the Southeast Florida Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association at: http://www.alz.org/seflorida/index...

    2. What are our options for paying for my mother's assisted living housing costs?

  21. Friday April 24, 2009

    1. How can we talk to my mother-in-law about the reality of her health?

      Answer - When a family is as exhausted as yours sounds and the care receiver has as many health conditions as your mother-in-law, the first thing that’s needed is a consultation with her physician. Call once and ten more times if you have to, but make an appointment for her to be seen and share with the...

  22. Monday April 20, 2009

    1. How can I find housing for my husband, who has Alzheimer's and is very agitated?

      Answer - Alzheimer’s Disease (AD) just might be the most devastating disease there is, particularly for the family who bare witness to the often slow, but steady and irreversible decline and most especially if the person suffering acts out physically.

    2. My wife and I have been caring for my 88 year old father for...

      Answer - The short answer to your question is that this is not normal. And not because all people bathe and shave and brush their teeth every single day, but because you insinuated that your father once did these things regularly and now he doesn’t. A decline in functioning is always a cause for concern in my book...

  23. Tuesday April 14, 2009

    1. What's the best thing to say in support of a friend who is a caregiver?

      Answer - It’s been my experience that caregivers welcome distractions, especially the funny kind, as much as they welcome counsel when the emotional roller coaster ride becomes overwhelming. I happen to think that those who can provide both kinds of support make the best kind of friends...

    2. How can I talk to my Mother in Law about the decisions being made on her behalf that I disagree with?

      Answer - I’m very glad you took the time to write in. My hunch is that many readers can relate to the myriad of family dynamics you describe and I have several thoughts on things you might try: