Elizabeth Shean, Caring.com contributing editor
Elizabeth Shean is Registered Nurse and professional writer who won the 2010 Online Journalism Award for "Best Commentary/Blogging." In "Dad Has Dementia," she chronicled her all-too-brief journey of caring for her dad as he rapidly declined and died.
Recently Published on Caring.com
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Week 36: What Now? What Next? — Sep 17, 2010Five weeks after Dad died, Mom moved to New Mexico to be near me. Through serendipity and the kindness of a stranger, we were able to find her a patio home just four blocks...
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Week 35: Nothin's Gonna Change My World — Sep 10, 2010I'm normally off on Mondays, and so, every weekend after Dad died, I drove north to Mom's house on Saturday – packed, packed, packed her belongings – and then returned home... -
Week 34: Is This Normal? — Sep 03, 2010About a week after the funeral, I lit a Caring Candle here at the Caring.com website in tribute to Dad. It felt good to see that little flame and know it would burn for him... -
Week 33: What Does Grief Look Like? — Aug 26, 2010My car rolls down I-25, southbound, the freeway bending behind me like a long black ribbon in the rear-view mirror. I try to focus on the road, but having driven this route... -
Week 32: Goodbye and Farewell — Aug 20, 2010My brother arrived the day after Dad died. We went down to the mortuary together to view the body. Dad looked the same as the day he'd died. He and Mom had wanted us to us... -
Week 31: Go Ahead and Grieve, but Make It Snappy — Aug 13, 2010My sister and I sat with Dad's body for quite a while after he passed away. We smoothed his hair and kissed his forehead. It bothered me that his nose hairs were sticking o... -
Week 30: Just Like That, It's Over — Aug 06, 2010I thought Dad would live for years with dementia and that our caregiving journey was just beginning. But suddenly, just 10 months after being diagnosed, my dad lies comatos... -
Week 29: Hospice Showdown — Jul 30, 2010I'm so angry. Dying shouldn't be like this. It shouldn't be about battling with the healthcare provider in order to obtain adequate care for the patient. It shouldn't be a... -
Week 28: Is This the Way Hospice Is Supposed to Work? — Jul 23, 2010Many people think of hospice as a place. In fact, hospice is a mode of treatment that can be done anywhere. In the U.S., in accordance with Medicare guidelines, all initial... -
Week 27: Suddenly, Dad Is Dying — Jul 16, 2010It's going to be difficult to summarize this in 500 words or less, so bear with me. When I returned from my disastrous trip to the family home after Father's Day, I discov... -
Week 26: Taking Stock — Jul 09, 2010This is week 26 of our odyssey in home care for my father. For six months, we (my husband, Lee, and I) have taken care of all of Dad's needs. I want to take a moment to ref... -
Today I Declare My Independence From... — Jul 05, 2010...caregiver guilt. On this 4th of July, 2010, I declare I will no longer feel guilty for: 1. Making Dad do things (like bathe!) that he doesn't necessarily want to do; 2. ... -
Week 25: Disinherited. Sort of. — Jul 02, 2010Last weekend, I drove six hours to the family home in order to help my mother clear out all the junk she won't be keeping after she sells the house and moves closer to me. ... -
Week 24: What Do We Tell Dad? — Jun 25, 2010Tonight Dad shuffled into the kitchen for his nighttime cereal ritual. He was wearing an incontinence brief on top of his pajama bottoms. I didn't bother to say anything ab... -
Week 23: The Self-Pity Edition — Jun 18, 2010Did I mention I never had children? I admire parents because they sacrifice so much for their kids, chasing them from event to event, dropping what they're doing at any gi... -
Week 22: Dad Is Bad for My Waistline — Jun 11, 2010Things have been a bit heavy lately. Let's lighten up. At least, that's been my recent dietary motto: Lighten up. I've gained eight pounds since Dad came to live with us. ... -
Week 21: What About Mom? — Jun 04, 2010The Saturday before Memorial Day, Lee and Dad and I made a pilgrimage to the national cemetery, where both Lee's parents and his brother are buried. We laid flowers at thei... -
Week 20: Power Struggles — May 28, 2010As I look back over these past 20 weeks of blogging, one thing becomes clear: I'm having a lot of trouble finding the positives in taking care of Dad at home. So far, I've ... -
Week 19: Pill Problems — May 21, 2010This caregiving gig is hard. No, it's beyond hard. It exacts a toll in ways too numerous to list. From the physical demands of caring for another person to the frequent blo... -
Week 18: First, We Make a Hole in the Dirt — May 14, 2010Today, Dad and I are planting flowers in containers. I've purchased more ceramic pots and annuals this year than ever before in my life because gardening has always been on... -
Week 17: Cautiously Optimistic — May 07, 2010In the end, it wasn't so bad. The representative of the caregiving agency came on Monday to do the intake assessment. Dad was polite, if not enthusiastic. After the brief ... -
Week 16: Time to Call in the Cavalry — Apr 30, 2010Since before Dad moved in with us, Lee and I have been certain of one thing: We wouldn't be able to care for him by ourselves forever. The question that has arisen frequent... -
Week 15: Big Girls Do Cry — Apr 23, 2010There are so many times – and so many reasons – I feel like crying. Today has been rough. Dad has been in severe pain all day, and there's nothing I can do about it. So, r... -
Week 14: How Can Life in the Slow Lane Be So Hectic? — Apr 16, 2010The past Monday was a typical one. I had two morning appointments, plus I needed to get Dad to the lab for a blood draw, and I figured we'd have lunch out, as well. It does... -
Week 13: To Remember Is to Understand — Apr 09, 2010A couple of weeks ago, my brother came to visit from out of state. Dad delighted in visiting with his only son, and we all were glad this could happen while Dad still remem...
