Carol O'Dell, Caring.com contributing editor
Carol D. O'Dell is the author of Mothering Mother: A Daughter's Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir, about her experience caring for her mother through Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and coronary diseases. Visit her blog that explores the joys and challenges of caregiving at Caregiving, Mothering Mother and More. Carol is a featured speaker at caregiver workshops and conferences of caregivers and healthcare and geriatric professionals.
Recently Published on Caring.com
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Mom's a hoarder whose "stuff" is keeping us apart! — Apr 20, 2010In the last five years, since my brother and dad died, my mom's living habits have become shocking. I've tried to help -- I've cleaned, reorganized, had garage sales -- but...
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My wife died of dementia and heart complications a little over a year ago. I'm 80 and in relatively good health. We'd talked about the situation ahead of time, and my wife ... -
My dad's dying, and Mom is ignoring it. — Apr 06, 2010My dad has terminal brain cancer. The doctor said that if we're lucky, he has a year, but most likely less, and that in the end he won't know us. My parents haven't made an... -
My dad's the care home Casanova! — Mar 30, 2010It sounds funny, but it's not. My dad was kicked out of a nearby care home after just four months. Apparently, he'd been having sex with just about every female in the plac... -
My mom has severe rheumatoid arthritis and has trouble getting around and keeping her balance. I recently moved in to help her after I got laid off. Before, she was doing O... -
Dealing With Erections While Caring For Dad - Any Ideas? — Mar 11, 2010It's embarrassing, uncomfortable, and completely natural. As adult children, we don't want to think about our parents--that way. But nature has a mind of its own. My f... -
I'm so sick of my parents playing favorites. Oh, they would never admit to this, but it's so clear to me. For the past 18 months they have lived with my husband and me and ... -
If you could write a letter to your care partner (mom/dad/spouse) and they could really “get” your heart, what would you say? Here is part of one I wrote… Dear Mother, ... -
My father-in-law treated his dying wife so badly, he doesn't deserve our help himself. — Mar 04, 2010My husband was the primary caregiver for his mom, who died less than a year ago after a horrible, year-long cancer battle. He had to deal with so much more than any son eve... -
My mother was the queen of saying the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time. She had no idea what being "politically correct" meant or why it would apply to her... -
I don't want to visit my mother anymore. — Feb 24, 2010My mom has been in a care home for almost 15 years. She doesn't know who I am or who anybody else is. She sits in her wheelchair, not looking at me, and won't lift her head... -
Most caregivers have to face some pretty dark and rough times. The very loved ones we are trying to care for may scream at us, try to bite or hit us, make it impossible to ... -
"I Am Growing Bitter." — Feb 22, 2010I met a woman recently at a caregiving event and her story haunts me. She’s been caregiving two parents with Alzheimer’s and a smorgasbord of other health problems for clos... -
"I Hate My Mother." — Feb 22, 2010"I hate my mother. She's mean and nasty. She demands all my time and sabotages any relationships I form. She's only 64--had a stroke--and then dementia set in. She could li... -
I'm sick, and my greatest fear is what will happen to my wife, who has dementia, when I die. — Feb 18, 2010My wife has dementia, but she lives with me. We do okay. My problem is that I've been diagnosed with malignant melanoma. It's aggressive, and I'm doing all I can to stay al... -
Is Caregiving The "New Cool?" — Feb 16, 2010A lot of priorities were set straight after 9/11. We realized that family really is important and perhaps nothing is more satisfying than gathering around our dining room t... -
Where Are You On Your Caregiving Journey? — Feb 16, 2010Caregiving can feel a lot like being lost in the woods. Didn’t I already pass by here already? Am I going in circles? Not knowing how long you’re going to give care—o... -
My sister has breast cancer, and I don't feel her husband is giving her adequate care. — Feb 11, 2010I've already lost my mother and another sister to this horrible disease. My husband says that treatments are better now and she's not going to die. How can he know that? Th... -
Three years ago, my husband had a stroke. His speech is severely impaired, as is his ability to walk. We have a full-time caregiver during the day -- actually, we've had ma... -
My dad has advanced bladder cancer, and in the last few months, relatives have been coming out of the woodwork. I've overheard several of them ask if they're in his will (... -
My mother, who at 56 has coronary heart disease and a stent, lives alone almost 1,000 miles from me. My parents divorced five years ago after decades of marriage, and I'm t... -
My sister is jeopardizing her children by having our mom with Alzheimer's live with them. — Jan 14, 2010Every time I mention something about finding a good home for Mom, who has Alzheimer's, my sister bites my head off. Mom lives with my sister and her family. But Mom scream... -
My mom is taking advantage of my grandparents — Jan 07, 2010I'm 20 years old and am trying to help take care of my grandparents. My mother lives with them, and I'm afraid she's not taking good care of them. She's not working -- she ... -
I'm trapped between honoring my mother’s wishes for her memorial –- and alienating my siblings. — Dec 30, 2009My mother is Jewish, but my late father was Christian. My siblings and I were raised Christian and were closer to dad's side of the family. As Mom’s primary caregiver, I've... -
My fiance and I have been together for eight years – and in just the last two, his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and his father found out he has colon cancer. Now...
