Bonnie Bajorek Daneker

Caring.com Expert

About: Bonnie Bajorek Daneker is author and creator of the The Compassionate Caregiver's Series, which includes "The Compassionate Caregiver's Guide to Caring for Someone with Cancer," "The Journey of Grief," "Handbook on Hospice and Palliative Care," and other titles on cancer diagnosis and end of life. She speaks regularly at cancer research and support functions, including PANCAN and Cancer Survivor's Network. She is a former member of the Executive Committee of the CSN at St. Joseph's Hospital of Atlanta and the Georgia Chapter of the Lymphoma Research Foundation.

Recently Published on Caring.com

Tuesday November 10, 2009
1. Do drug companies help pay for chemotherapy?
  Answer - Many drug companies have programs to make chemotherapy drugs more affordable.
2. Help paying for chemo if you don't qualify for Medicare or Medicaid?
  Answer - There are some programs to help pay for chemotherapy drugs for those who don't have insurance.
Monday November 02, 2009
1. How do I help my mother eat better to get stronger?
  Answer - Hi Skeeter,
2. My mom is undergoing chemo - but she won't wash her hands!
  Answer - This can be so frustrating, but hang in there. You need to understand why she is not doing that. My guess is that extra step takes energy out of her that she may not want to use. It's an effort to go into another room, partially undress, bend, redress, balance, and walk back to where she was before...
Friday October 02, 2009
1. Are mood swings a side effect of chemotherapy?
  Answer - Yes, be patient. Certainly, the mood swings can be related to chemotherapy. In my book, I devote an entire section to "The Impossible Patient" -- the one who no matter how you try to give care, it's wrong -- because it's so common.
Sunday September 13, 2009
1. He won't consider hospice but wants transfusions. Help?
  Answer - This is a very complex issue, and while I'll talk about several parts of this, I would urge you and your sister to find a counselor that can help you in person.
Wednesday August 12, 2009
1. What kind of diet will best help me battle colon cancer?
  Answer - It sounds like you have an understanding of the elements of a healthy diet. There is nothing specific that you should concentrate on in terms of food that you're not already doing. Be sure that you drink plenty of water as well, as this is important to every body function.
Wednesday August 05, 2009
1. What foods help fight leukemia and aid recovery?
  Answer - First, be certain she is well-hydrated. She will need a lot of water to process the chemotherapy and a possible bone marrow transplant.
Monday July 13, 2009
1. How can we keep Mom comfortable and relieve bone pain?
  Answer - You ask a lot of good questions. Let's take them one at a time.
Thursday July 09, 2009
1. Does smoking interfere with chemotherapy?
  Answer - The American Cancer Society says that esophageal cancer's survival rates are "18% of white patients and 11% of African-American patients survive at least 5 years after diagnosis. These figures take into account all patients with esophageal cancer, no matter what stage they were in at diagnosis. Survival rates for early stage disease are higher...
Tuesday July 07, 2009
1. Should I get a second opinion for ovarian cancer diagnosis?
  Answer - Yes, get a second opinion, and don't delay. With your family's history, you'll want to be smart and act quickly.
Thursday July 02, 2009
1. What to do when my spouse is refusing leukemia treatment?
  Answer - When someone you love has leukemia and is refusing treatment, it's tough to understand, especially with the many treatment options that exist.
Thursday June 25, 2009
1. How long do chemotherapy side effects last?
  Answer - First off, thank you for your well-written email. I can certainly hear your frustration.
Wednesday June 24, 2009
1. How can I stop my aunt from refusing cancer treatment?
  Answer - Hi Lucinda,
Saturday June 20, 2009
1. Can I continue delaying chemotherapy?
  Answer - It sounds like you're already thinking about your treatment in terms of Quality of Life -- what you enjoy doing with the least amount of suffering, which is smart.
Thursday June 18, 2009
1. What do we expect if esophogeal cancer is untreated?
  Answer - Even at 85, it's difficult to watch a parent manage a cancer diagnosis, and it's natural to be scared. Your first step should be to ask the diagnosing physician or nurse practicioner specifically what you will see as the disease progresses in your mom.
Tuesday June 16, 2009
1. How do you overcome denial of death?
  Answer - I confirmed with a surgical oncologist about an infected central line, and you are right. This is a "pre-terminal" event and she will not recover from this without removal of the line. But commonly, cancer patients will see a short improvement in health that preceeds death; one chaplain I know says it...
Monday June 15, 2009
1. How can we transfer my mom to a cancer teaching hospital?
  Answer - It seems like you need a few answers:
2. If I'm the primary caregiver for my parent with cancer, should I join a caregivers' support group?
  Answer - To add to Phyddy's response, you'd be surprised what benefit you can get in attending the support groups in that many have creative, successful solutions to problems that you have; additionally, they may prepare you for challenges that may be forthcoming.
Saturday June 06, 2009
1. When should preventive colon checkups begin for someone with a family history of cancer?
  Answer - Sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Generally, doctors recommend that you start colon checkups ten years prior to the diagnosis age of the family member; in your case, age 35. However, if you have other incidence of cancer or other family members that have been diagnosed, you may want to be checked earlier...
2. Can I travel while undergoing chemo?
  Answer - Many people ask if they should limit activities or travel while receiving chemotherapy. The answer depends how well you are tolerating the therapy and how healthy you feel.
Tuesday May 19, 2009
1. Are there other cancer treatment options?
  Answer - There are other cancer treatments available, although your personal condition will limit which ones will be of help. You may want to investigate two other options: National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM) in the National Institutes of Health, which explores complementary and alternative healing practices at www...
2. Can you have partial lung cancer?
  Answer - With a cancer diagnosis, that means there is presence of cancer. It does not mean that a part of the body is 100% cancerous. With the HIPAA laws, it's true that you will not find additional information from the care providers, but you should try to glean the information from your brother first...
Friday April 24, 2009
1. What can we expect after a diagnosis of gulotta carcinoma?
  Answer - Carcinomas affect cells that cover body structures or cells that line the body cavity, internal organs and glands. It is the most common class of cancers, and it includes lung, breast, and colorectal cancers. While I'm unfamiliar with gulotta carcinoma, it's likely that you and your boyfriend will be facing similar situations as others fighting carcinomas...
2. My mother has been depressed since her cancer diagnosis; how can I persuade her to see a therapist?
  Answer - Here's something else to think about: perhaps someone in her circle of friends has a success story of seeking professional advice -- from clergy, doctor in the family, even support hotlines.
Tuesday April 07, 2009
1. What's the prognosis with a liver cancer diagnosis?
  Answer - When someone you know has been diagnosed with liver cancer, he or she needs to find out several things about the cancer:
Wednesday April 01, 2009
1. Is a followup exam after colon surgery necessary?
  Answer - Yes, he should go in for the colon surgery followup. One of the goals in keeping medical information of the patient -- including former scans and other test results -- is to compare a former state with a current state. Healthcare professionals review these to see any new growths and to chart the growth rates as compared to the prior condition...
2. Is it possible to have liver cancer with no symptoms?
  Answer - Yes, it is possible, and even probable to have no symptoms of liver cancer. Or, a patient could have non-specific symptoms -- like your father's weakness and pain that could be attributed to something else. This is one of the reasons that when discovered diseases like liver cancer, pancreatic cancer, and ovarian cancer are often late stage...
3. What will the end be like for someone with anaplastic astrocytoma?
  Answer - This is so difficult to witness, but know that if your father is in hospice care, that means that they estimate six months or less for him to live. So, think when hospice care was recommended, and add six months to that date. Usually, healthcare professionals are on target for this as they are familiar with the disease progression...
Tuesday March 17, 2009
1. Where can I find out more information about Castleman's disease?
  Answer - In your search for information about castleman's disease, have you tried the American Institute for Cancer Research? They have an amazing amount of credible information at their disposal, and often will mail you information for free. Their web site is www.aicr.org, and phone is 1-800- 843-8114. Good luck...
Tuesday March 10, 2009
1. Can a chemo patient drive to and from treatment?
  Answer - The chemo and driving combination is often asked about. One oncologist answers the question this way "Let's say a four-year-old child runs into the street, chasing after his ball. If, on a normal day, you can see him and react successfully to avoid hitting him and the ball, you're probably a safe driver...
2. What treatments are most successful for sarcoma?
  Answer - Of course you will want the medical oncologist's opinion on this, but have you considered clinical trials? ClinicalTrials.gov may have some opportunities to participate in new sarcoma treatments.
Thursday March 05, 2009
1. My father needs to stay away from my mother with his cigarette smoke, but he refuses. How do we make him understand?
  Answer - Chances are, your dad will not listen to logic, nor will he change his highly-addictive habit of smoking. Would he be willing to have the window cracked or the door opened while he does?
2. What can you tell me about adenocarcinoma of the tongue?
  Answer - Adenocarcinoma is in fact rare, and is often accompanied by metastasis to other areas. You’ll need reliable sources of information. Try these:- National Cancer Institute's Cancer Information Service at (800) 4-CANCER (422-6237)/ (800) 332-8615 (TTY) 9:00 a.m.–4:30 p.m., Monday–Friday, except Federal holidays (Eastern time)...
3. My mother won't let us talk to her doctor to clarify her diagnosis; what can we do?
  Answer - First, I have to help you remember about HIPAA, which protects patient privacy. What this means for you is that your mother must give you and your sister permission in writing for the doctors or other medical professionals to share your mother’s health information. If she has not given that permission, you cannot go to the doctors directly...
Thursday January 15, 2009
1. My menstrual cycle lasted for 11 days. Is this normal for breast cancer patients who still have a cycle?
  Answer - Women who are still menstruating may face changes while undergoing cancer treatment and it's best to see a gynecologist as well as an oncologist.
2. What can help neck pain after chemo treatments?
  Answer - neck pain can occur during or after chemotherapy because of the position the patient sits during chemo.
3. What are common symptoms of lymphoma?
  Answer - Lymphoma is a disease of the white blood cells.
4. Is it possible for cancer to spread during surgery?
  Answer - Research shows surgery does not increase the circulation of cancer cells.
Monday October 06, 2008
1. What is ascetis?
  Answer - Ascitis is fluid buildup.
2. For a person who is in remission from blood cancer, would getting a tattoo be dangerous?
  Answer - Tattoos are probably no more dangerous for cancer patients in remission than for others.
3. Can surgery and/or chemo cause Ascetis?
  Answer - Ascetis, or fluid buildup, is more likely caused by the disease than by surgery.
Saturday July 19, 2008
1. Is driving after chemotherapy safe?
  Answer - It's safe to drive a car while undergoing chemotherapy if the symptoms of the illness and treatment don't impair concentration and other skills needed for driving.
Friday July 18, 2008
1. Is 24 hour care needed for a chemotherapy patient with small cell lung cancer, who is 70 years old?
  Answer - If your 70-year-old family member's in reasonably good health before the chemotherapy (and besides the cancer diagnosis), then NO.
Wednesday May 14, 2008
1. How can I help my Grandfather with his chemo treatments received via catheter?
  Answer - Localized chemotherapy poses some caregiving challenges from side effects such as nausea.
Monday May 12, 2008
1. What can my grandfather do to help him relax about his cancer?
  Answer - A diagnosis of multiple tumors is very stressful, but there are some ways your grandfather can relieve his anxiety.
2. What are some tips for a long distance caregiver to a dad with pancreatic cancer?
  Answer - Pancreatic cancer that's late stage means there may not be much time left and he'll need quite a lot of care, so planning is key when caring from a long distance.
3. Are there portable chemo methods?
  Answer - There are portable chemo methods in which drugs are administered from a wearable bag.
Sunday May 04, 2008
1. What do I do when my parent's doctor tells me something important and suggests that I not tell my parent?
  Answer - This happens more often than you might think, usually because the doctor feels that protecting your parent from certain negative information will prevent depression, anxiety, or other problems. However, it can lead to increased anxiety for you as a caregiver -- you have important information but you...
Friday April 18, 2008
1. Is shaking as a side effect for chemo for non-hodgkins lymphoma serious?
  Answer - Shaking and chills is a common side effect of chemotherapy for cancer.
Friday March 07, 2008
1. Is one of the side effects of chemo a tendency to fall down?
  Answer - Chemotherapy can cause neuropathy and weakness due to low blood counts that in turn can lead to problems with balance and falling down.
2. Can chemo cause jaundice?
  Answer - Chemotherapy can cause jaundice, and other types of skin discoloration as well.
Wednesday February 27, 2008
1. If you miss a chemotherapy appointment would a doctor give you a double treatment the next time?
  Answer - If you miss a chemo appointment, your doctor's goal is going to be to get you back on schedule.
Tuesday February 26, 2008
1. How do you get chemo chills to stop?
  Answer - Chills are a common side effect after chemotherapy treatments.
2. Are chills a side effect of chemo?
  Answer - When chills continue to occur after chemotherapy treatment has been completed, it may be a separate medical issue.
Wednesday January 30, 2008
1. How can I get my father to tell the doctor how bad his pain is?
  Answer - You've got a long history of interacting with your father, which gives you an advantage over the doctor. You have the ability to understand what your dad's truly feeling, regardless of his ability to put it into words, whereas the doctor only knows what your dad tells him...
2. How do I persuade my father to join a clinical trial that could help him fight bone cancer?
  Answer - When the prognosis for treatment isn't optimistic, a clinical trial can offer the possibility of increasing your father's odds of beating the disease or increasing the quality of his life. I'd encourage you to continue talking with your father about this clinical trial, and try to find out why he's refusing to join...
Sunday September 16, 2007
1. My father has colon cancer. What's the best way to deal with his angry outbursts?
  Answer - It might help you to know that there are all sorts of things that may be making your father act like this: pain, nausea, depression -- he may even be in an altered state because of chemicals in his system from radiation or chemo. It's possible he may not even know what he's saying or how he's saying it...
2. How do I get my father, who has prostate cancer, to accept help from others?
  Answer - This is one of the issues that forces you and your dad to acknowledge the reversal of roles that's taken place because of his cancer and your caregiving. Your father is probably used to giving orders and having you do what he says. But now you're the one in charge, and he doesn't like it.
3. How can I get my mother, who has breast cancer, to be more active so she won't lose muscle strength?
  Answer - You can't make your mother exercise and shouldn't feel responsible if she doesn't listen to you -- or her doctor. But you can refuse to let the subject drop, even if it makes her uncomfortable, and that's the easiest path to take. 1 Comment
4. My mother, who has breast cancer, asks me to visit her every time she thinks there's a crisis. What should I do?
  Answer - Your first task is to find out what's really going on and how serious it is. Your mother may just be trying to tell you that she's lonely.When your mother was first diagnosed and started treatment, she probably got lots of attention amidst a flurry of activity...
5. How can I ease my father's discomfort when I have to help him with physically intimate tasks?
  Answer - It has to be difficult for your father to have you see him in such a vulnerable position. This kind of situation comes up whenever an adult child is caring for a parent, but it's hardest when you're caring for a parent of the opposite sex.
6. How can I persuade my mother, who has stomach cancer, to quit smoking?
  Answer - Smoking is a tough one -- not only because it's an addiction but because it's a habit and a lifestyle. Smokers are used to having a prop in their hands and something to put in their mouths, and if they've been doing it all their lives and a lot of their friends smoke, it can be hard to change.
Thursday September 06, 2007
1. What's the best way to ask for a second opinion for breast cancer?
  Answer - Getting a second (or even a third) opinion is critical to identifying the right type of care, so don't let a prickly personality stand in your way.
Thursday August 30, 2007
1. How do I get my parent's doctor to give us complete and honest information?
  Answer - It's usually not easy, but there are ways to get the information you want once you understand what you're up against.
2. How can I help my parent control nausea from chemotherapy?
  Answer - Dealing with nausea is one of the daily challenges of caring for someone with cancer, and you just have to keep changing tactics, trying to find things that help even a little bit. If you've been prescribed antiemetic drugs -- medications that fight nausea by altering the chemistry of the brain -- you can ask if there are other antiemetics you haven't tried...

Bonnie Bajorek Daneker

Caring.com Expert

Recently Published on Caring.com

Tuesday November 10, 2009

Monday November 02, 2009

Friday October 02, 2009

Sunday September 13, 2009

Wednesday August 12, 2009

Wednesday August 05, 2009

Monday July 13, 2009

Thursday July 09, 2009

Tuesday July 07, 2009

Thursday July 02, 2009

Thursday June 25, 2009

Wednesday June 24, 2009

Saturday June 20, 2009

Thursday June 18, 2009

Tuesday June 16, 2009

Monday June 15, 2009

Saturday June 06, 2009

Tuesday May 19, 2009

Friday April 24, 2009

Tuesday April 07, 2009

Wednesday April 01, 2009

Tuesday March 17, 2009

Tuesday March 10, 2009

Thursday March 05, 2009

Thursday January 15, 2009

Monday October 06, 2008

Saturday July 19, 2008

Friday July 18, 2008

Wednesday May 14, 2008

Monday May 12, 2008

Sunday May 04, 2008

Friday April 18, 2008

Friday March 07, 2008

Wednesday February 27, 2008

Tuesday February 26, 2008

Wednesday January 30, 2008

Sunday September 16, 2007

Thursday September 06, 2007

Thursday August 30, 2007

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