Ann Cason

Caring.com Expert

About

Ann Cason, as founder and director of Circles of Care, provides caregiving, consulting, and training services for families and caregivers of elderly people, as well as public and private organizations concerned with eldercare issues. She is the author of Circles of Care: How to Set Up Quality Home Care for Our Elders.

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Recently Published on Caring.com

Monday November 02, 2009
1. How do I get my grandmother to accept help?
  Answer - It is wonderful to have such a heartfelt question from a granddaughter. There are many family caregivers who wonder if getting a parent to accept help for incontinece is possible.
Wednesday October 07, 2009
1. FAQ: What If I Can't Handle Caring for Someone With Incontinence?
  Answer - Here's the thing about handling incontinence: It's the turning point upon which many caregivers feel they can no longer look after someone at home, and for some good reasons. Incontinence can be frustrating and difficult to deal with. But at the same time, there are many approaches to coping with incontinence...
Thursday October 01, 2009
1. What's causing Mom's urination hesitation?
  Answer - You will have to develop extreme patience with this stage of your mother-in-law's care. If it is not medical, you may never know what is causing the conditon of urination hesitation.
Friday September 25, 2009
1. FAQ: How Can I Get an Incontinent Person to Use Adult Diapers?
  Answer - Your most effective entry point to the subject is through the person's doctor. When the suggestion to use incontinence products comes from him or her, you avoid getting into a battle of wills or an argument -- or being seen as the "bad guy...
2. FAQ: How Do I Lessen Embarrassment for an Incontinent Person?
  Answer - The best response is to show no embarrassment yourself. A direct, matter-of-fact attitude helps the person save face and helps you both deal with the situation rather than focusing on the feelings around it.
Thursday September 24, 2009
1. FAQ: How Can I Tactfully Tell Someone He's Missing the Toilet?
  Answer - You'll first want to try to figure out why his aim is off. Some possibilities:
2. FAQ: How Do I Handle an Incontinent Adult With Dementia Who Keeps Removing His Diaper?
  Answer - If an incontinent person with dementia removes or plays with the diaper, you have a few options.
Monday September 07, 2009
1. What is the best way to dispose of adult diapers?
  Answer - Thank you for your environmentally sensitive question. It is all right to put disposable adult diapers in the trash that goes to the landfill. Although, most brands are made from mostly biodegradable material, there is still some plastic covering as well as the fumes of human waste...
Friday September 04, 2009
1. How can I help stop my mother's hoarding and shopping problem?
  Answer - Thank you for writing. Your mother's pride and her fear of lonelines may be the culprits that lead her to hoarding. How desolate she might feel at home compared to the liveliness of seeing her friends at the different stores: the shopkeepers, cashiers, and clerks who love to see her coming and also call her to tell about sales...
Monday August 31, 2009
1. How do I convince the kids it's time for a nursing home?
  Answer - Thank you for writing to ask this very important question. How can you find relief for yourself, proper care for your mother-in law, and not end up fighting with the family?
Monday August 24, 2009
1. FAQ: How Should I Clean the Skin After Someone With Incontinence Has an Accident?
  Answer - Use the right supplies and a consistent approach. It's important to get the skin both clean and dry after an incidence of bladder or fecal incontinence. Many older people will need help with this because they lack the mobility to do a thorough job, or they may feel embarrassed and want to dispense with the cleanup quickly and ineffectively...
Thursday August 20, 2009
1. What can we do about my husband's "smell" after rectal surgery?
  Answer - I am sorry to hear about your husband's trouble. People who have rectal surgery sometimes have to deal with odor. Since the leakage has grown worse, I would suggest seeing the doctor to find out if there is a surgical correction.Techniques have advanced in ten years.
Wednesday August 05, 2009
1. Can I charge the agency for MY time if the HHA doesn't show?
  Answer - You write well. Your clarity magnifies several issues that you are dealing with. First, is the issure of the poor home health aide and the poor agency that does not stand behind their work by sending in a replacement when the aide is absent. Many home health aides work day and night and sleep whenever they can...
Tuesday July 07, 2009
1. If I call adult protective services on Mom, what will happen?
  Answer - Adult Protective Services are meant to protect people. You are very sincere. You want to help, but the situation is beyond what your family can manage. Your parents are not well enough to make their own decisions.
Friday June 26, 2009
1. How much does a live-in caregiver cost?
  Answer - Live-in caregivers cost from $700 to $3000 a week. There are many factors such as what part of the country you live in, what the living accommodations are and what hours the person is required to be on duty. The ability to speak the elder's language is also a factor.
Thursday June 25, 2009
1. How can I get my mother an in home aide without offending her?
  Answer - Thank you for asking this question. Many adult children fear offending their parents. I picture your mother standing on the edge of a cliff, shaking her fist.. She is shouting, I will drive, I will smoke, I won't go to the doctor. She struggles to maintain independence while you struggle for her safety...
Tuesday June 23, 2009
1. Is there a device to deal with falls?
  Answer - Your question about a device to deal with falls due to Parkinson's, as well as your father's pride made me stop and think. Also, I consulted with geriatric care managers who are members of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers.
Tuesday June 09, 2009
1. Is it normal for retirees to be negative?
  Answer - Negative attitudes are common. Many elders feel social stress in the dining room of retirement communities. Complaining about other people is often a defense mechanism.
2. Where can I rent a vibrator for lung therapy?
  Answer - If your mother needs oxygen, I think that she might need a ventilator. In any case you should be able to inquire at any medical equipment store to get what is needed. Also, it is okay to ask the health professional who prescribed this lung therapy to write it down and suggest where you can get what you need...
3. Is a 24/7 oxygen considered critical care?
  Answer - There is much discussion going on about proper reimbursement for oxygen therapy. Some say that the lobbyist who lobby congress for insurance are not informed enough about the real needs of patients.
Monday June 01, 2009
1. What's the best way to transition from home care to a care facility?
  Question - What is the best way to make the transition from caring for our parent at home to placeing them in a residential care home? My mom is now in a stage that she needs 24-hour care.
Sunday May 03, 2009
1. How can we stop elder abuse by my brother?
  Answer - Stopping elder abuse in the familly situation that you describe will be a complicated task. You may have to accept the difficult relationship between your brother and your mother.
Friday April 24, 2009
1. What are some tips for transferring my mother from her motorized chair to the bed or bathroom?
  Answer - I would like to suggest that you get a consultation from a physical therapist or a geriatric care manager. She might be able to learn strengthening excercises so that she can can do the transfer from the motorized care herself. A professional could help evaluate your dear mother's motivation and ability to adjust...
Wednesday April 15, 2009
1. What is a fair price to charge for my mother living in my home?
  Answer - It is hard to put a price on what is priceless. How I wish more daughters would approach this subject in such a precise way. So many elders end up in institutions prematurely because we are unable to deal with this question, What is a fair charge for in home care of our own mother? It is okay to ask...
Tuesday April 14, 2009
1. How can I safely secure the exterior doors so my mom can't get out without her caregiver knowing?
  Answer - In order to safely secure doors for the safety of your mother, you will have to get a lock smith to install a lock that can only be opened with a key from the inside.
Friday April 03, 2009
1. How do I help Dad with his personal hygiene?
  Answer - Thank you for asking this delicate question. Illness and smells are often part of caring for frail elders.
Saturday March 28, 2009
1. Can my brother be fired or reported for fraud if he is neglecting my mother?
  Answer - Thank you for writing to share your anger and frustration so clearly. It is so difficult to be raising children as well as trying to see to the care of a parent. Sibling caregiver conflicts are more usual than you may think.
Friday March 27, 2009
1. Who issues licenses for caregivers in the state of California?
  Answer - In California, there generally is not a license for non-medical caregivers. This is different that a Certified Nursing Assistant or Certified Home Heatlh Aide.
Thursday March 26, 2009
1. Where can I find a counselor or therapist that will make home visits?
  Answer - Your friend would benefit from a therapist home visit. There are several possibilities that you may be able to help her find someone to help.
Wednesday March 25, 2009
1. Where can I find someone to be a mediator between my mom, her care providers and myself?
  Answer - You will be able to find a mediator for your mom and the caregivers. You have asked for help in such a clear and heartfelt way.
Tuesday March 24, 2009
1. Where can I find someone to help my parents with house cleaning?
  Answer - Many older people will accept help with housecleaning as a first step into accepting care.
Wednesday March 18, 2009
1. How can I continue to deal with my dad's worsening Alzheimer's symptoms?
  Answer - There is wisdom in your cry for help. You have been too heroic! You can't side step the grief of your mother's death and the falling apart of your marriage by taking on the care of your ill father. It happens, but no one person should have to bear this burden. Let's find some help so that the end of your father's life won't also be the end of yours...
Friday March 13, 2009
1. How can we convince my mother with Alzheimer's to go to the doctor?
  Answer - I am sorry to hear of your difficulty: your mother's pain and her contrariness and the feeling of conflict with your brothers. I would like to share a slogan with you that I have used for years. Don't expect things to go your way. Memorize it. Write it on a card. Carry it in your purse. Put it on the refrigerator...
Thursday March 12, 2009
1. My mother lives with me and we can't agree on a temperature to keep the heat on- what can we do?
  Answer - Many disagreements arise around the temperature in the house. We all have our inner thermostats, there are different ideas about saving the environment, and heating costs can be so expensive.
Tuesday March 03, 2009
1. How can I get my mother's privates clean in the shower?
  Answer - I like your idea of getting the shower stool nice and soapy before your mother sits down. Make sure it is not too slippery. The nurse who taught me always stressed the importance of occasional soaking for cleaning privates. You could use a perineal cleanser which has aloe vera...
Friday February 27, 2009
1. How can I deal with my mother, who has Alzheimer's, and her fear of water?
  Answer - Thank you for this question. Fear of water is very common. So is fear of being told what to do. Fear of water on the back is often an expression of feeling helpless.
Friday February 13, 2009
1. Is there a mask for caregivers to use when changing geriatric diapers?
2. What should I do if my mom with Alzheimer's won't see a doctor?
  Answer - Thank you for asking this question. You are learning to listen to your mother, even though she is not well. So many families have shared their stories. When I listen, I may only hear Alzheimer's and refusal of care.
Thursday February 12, 2009
1. How can I tell if my mom has Alzheimer's or short term memory loss? I think she's hallucinating.
  Answer - The mind of old age is fascinating. Hallucinations could be caused by Alzheimer's. On the other hand, they could be caused by medication or other types of illness. It is not unusal for an elder to hallucinate in the hospital; then settle down at home.
2. Should I have to give up my life to help my mother and grandmother?
  Answer - Stop and think: How many years did you feel trapped being Cared for By your mother? Now you feel trapped caring for your mother and your grandmother.
Friday January 30, 2009
1. How to go from caring for women only to comfortably caring for men?
  Answer - I would like to praise you for asking this question. We grow in our humanity by going beyond what we think we can do.
Thursday January 29, 2009
1. How can I convince my mom to stop using the stove?
  Answer - The sad news is that your mother does need protection. Her mind is jumping to unexpected conclusions. For instance, to get rid of hair and to follow her mother's advice, she burns her hair in the microwave. Or, if you have a helper who cooks for her, she thinks that she must wait for the helper to leave, before she can cook...
Sunday January 25, 2009
1. What's the best way to get my father to recognize that he's missing the toilet?
  Answer - Thanks for sharing this interesting question.
2. How can I resolve taking care of my boyfriend's grandmother?
  Answer - I'm so glad to hear about the caregiver meeting. Perhaps they will help fill the void when you are longing for your friends and family. Also, sometimes help comes from this kind of support group.
3. How can I help my brother-in-law accept the decline in his parents' health?
  Answer - Thank you for writing back. I would also like to suggest that you read my book, Circles of Care. It has suggestions of many ways to help older people in ways that do not get into medical or financial areas.
4. How can I get my mom from the wheelchair to the car?
  Answer - Can your mother stand up? If she can, pull the wheelchair up to the side of the car of the passenger front seat. Make sure the door is already open and that the wheelchair brakes are on.
Saturday January 24, 2009
1. How can I resolve taking care of my boyfriend's grandmother?
  Answer - Dear Heart,
Friday January 23, 2009
1. How can I help my brother-in-law accept the decline in his parents' health?
  Answer - Caring for your Parents in Their Senior Years a Guide for Grownup Children by William Molloy, MD might help your brother.
Monday January 19, 2009
1. How can I convince my wife to bathe?
  Answer - It is strange how we are sometimes just stopped in our tracks. For a time there is nothing to do but live with a wife who is less than hygenic.
Sunday January 18, 2009
1. What do you do with a stubborn old man who won't take care of himself?
  Answer - Thank you for expressing so clearly the frustration that many of us caregivers feel. The priest, social worker, and other professionals have already pointed out that he is grieving, that part of him wants to die and then he wants to live. At the last minute he panics and calls 911. He doesn't know how to live and he is afraid to die...
2. Should we continue trying to help my mother or give up?
  Answer - I hear your cry for help and feel the kindness of you and your brother.
Friday January 16, 2009
1. What short-term in-house elder care options when caregivers need to go out of town?
  Answer - Some resources to help you find temporary care for your aging parent when you need to travel.
Saturday January 10, 2009
1. I need financial help with plumbing bills; is there anyway to get help?
  Answer - I am sorry that you are having this trouble. There may not be any government program to assist you, but you can go to www.benfitscheckup.org and check on their comprehensive data base to see if there is any thing for you. It will take you 20 or 30 minutes to go through this site, but you have to do it because you are the one with the information...
Wednesday January 07, 2009
1. Can someone advice me about either First Alert or LifeWatch...
  Answer - I would advise you to look at the web site for both First Alert and Life Watch.There is www.firstalert.com and www.lifewatch-usa.com. First Alert deals more with smoke and carbon monoxide alarms. Life Watch specializes in the home alarm system which has a device that you wear around your neck...
Friday November 21, 2008
1. How can I get a fire safety inspection done of my parents' home to help with my father's obsessive hoarding?
  Answer - You are wise to write. Some difficulties have to be taken beyond the family into community services working together. Your job as caregiver to your parents will be to help coordinate and communicate.
Wednesday November 19, 2008
1. Are there any agencies that can assist my wife with the in-home care of her mother?
  Answer - How to find a local care givers for a mother-in-law or elderly relative
2. What is the best way to make the transition from home care to a long term care facility?
  Answer - How to transition from caring for an aging relative or parent to placing them in residential care
3. My Father is currently on Dialysis and has had Renal failure...
  Answer - How to take an aging relative with multiple health problems out of a nursing home to live with you
Saturday November 08, 2008
1. My parents really need help, but they refuse. What can we do?
  Answer - Thanks for this question: you describe so well a common dilemma. You see your parents as troubled. They see themselves as capable. The task is to start where your parents are; then help them along the path of aging in small steps. Patience, patience patience.
Thursday October 30, 2008
1. Is it time to consider assisted living for my elderly mother?
  Answer - Thanks for writing. What makes this situation so distressing is the change. Sometimes your mother is fine. Sometimes she is uncontrollable. That type of switching back and forth keeps everyone off balance.
2. Is it time to consider assisted living for my elderly mother?
  Answer - Thanks for writing. What makes this situation so distressing is the change. Sometimes your mother is fine. Sometimes she is uncontrollable. That type of switching back and forth keeps everyone off balance.
Thursday October 02, 2008
1. Is there anyway we can make my husbands mother seek medical...
  Answer - Thank you for this question. I try to picture your mother-in-law. Is she old, is she fearful, is she in pain? Has she been stubborn, downtrodden, or trying so hard all of her life? Or is she one who has given up too easily? In times of old an elder might take to her bed for the rest of her life...
Sunday September 14, 2008
1. I feel my father is being scammed. What can I do?
  Answer - I am sorry to hear that your father has been victimized. So many elders, who feel a little sad and lonely, become easy prey for con men. My own father once bought a con man an old pick up truck by charging it to his credit card.
Wednesday September 10, 2008
1. Should I move my mother to a nursing home?
  Answer - I remember Ruby. She lived in a good Catholic nursing home. Her daughter was distraught. Her mother had left her for the nursing home. Ruby told me, "My daughter tried so hard. But I felt guilty every time I wanted something. I like my services."
Monday September 08, 2008
1. Is it time to move my grandmother into a long term care facility?
Thursday September 04, 2008
1. My father refuses to accept professional home care. How can I get him to accept more help?
  Answer - It is such a worry when a parent is alone at night unable to be helped. But many people are afraid of nursing homes, especially at night. Others hate to pay caregivers to sleep.
Wednesday September 03, 2008
1. What if your mom is abusive should you have her move in...
  Answer - We love our mothers. We want to help. But we don't have to stand in front of a truck and let it run us over to prove a point. First, sit beside the problem. Watch and listen as others help you assess and advise and administer some healing balm into your heart.
2. What can help my mother remember to take her medication?
  Answer - Frequent falls are a signal. Something is not right in the environment. So many of us are too proud to ask for help. Some of us send a signal.
Monday August 11, 2008
1. Is there a formal program to have the mailman notify family...
Saturday August 02, 2008
1. We are concerned for my mother-in-law's safety in living alone in her home, but how can we convince her to move?
  Answer - Thank you so much for sharing your question with Caring.com. It will be helpful to others. It is hard to lose a loved one and harder still if the loss is from suicide. Yet, suicide is one of the leading causes of death, especially in men over the age of 70 during the spring and summer months.
Thursday June 26, 2008
1. What could be wrong with my mother-in-law who makes irrational decisions and wets herself, yet the hospital says she's competent?
  Answer - Spirited senior's odd behavior maybe a subtle cry for help.
Friday June 13, 2008
1. where do I begin when the time comes to put a parent in a...
  Answer - How to begin the process of placing a parent or aging relative in a nursing home
Sunday June 01, 2008
1. How can I move my mother to a nursing home near me?
  Answer - How to begin the process of moving a parent or senior relative to a nursing home closer to where you live.
Thursday May 01, 2008
1. Should I put my parent in a nursing home?
  Answer - If the care of an elder is left to one person, it can easily become overwhelming. The good news is, there are abundant resources to help.
Friday January 04, 2008
1. How can I help my mother, who becomes agitated every evening?
  Answer - Tips to help you help your mom stay calm and relaxed while living on her own.

Ann Cason

Caring.com Expert

Recently Published on Caring.com

Monday November 02, 2009

Wednesday October 07, 2009

Thursday October 01, 2009

Friday September 25, 2009

Thursday September 24, 2009

Monday September 07, 2009

Friday September 04, 2009

Monday August 31, 2009

Monday August 24, 2009

Thursday August 20, 2009

Wednesday August 05, 2009

Tuesday July 07, 2009

Friday June 26, 2009

Thursday June 25, 2009

Tuesday June 23, 2009

Tuesday June 09, 2009

Monday June 01, 2009

Sunday May 03, 2009

Friday April 24, 2009

Wednesday April 15, 2009

Tuesday April 14, 2009

Friday April 03, 2009

Saturday March 28, 2009

Friday March 27, 2009

Thursday March 26, 2009

Wednesday March 25, 2009

Tuesday March 24, 2009

Wednesday March 18, 2009

Friday March 13, 2009

Thursday March 12, 2009

Tuesday March 03, 2009

Friday February 27, 2009

Friday February 13, 2009

Thursday February 12, 2009

Friday January 30, 2009

Thursday January 29, 2009

Sunday January 25, 2009

Saturday January 24, 2009

Friday January 23, 2009

Monday January 19, 2009

Sunday January 18, 2009

Friday January 16, 2009

Saturday January 10, 2009

Wednesday January 07, 2009

Friday November 21, 2008

Wednesday November 19, 2008

Saturday November 08, 2008

Thursday October 30, 2008

Thursday October 02, 2008

Sunday September 14, 2008

Wednesday September 10, 2008

Monday September 08, 2008

Thursday September 04, 2008

Wednesday September 03, 2008

Monday August 11, 2008

Saturday August 02, 2008

Thursday June 26, 2008

Friday June 13, 2008

Sunday June 01, 2008

Thursday May 01, 2008

Friday January 04, 2008

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