Moving Questions

1. How can my brother and I convince my aging parents to move closer to us?

   You may not be able to persuade your parents to move, if they really don't want to. All you can do is make your best case, and then it's up to them.
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2. Is it reasonable to want o move my wife with Alzheimer's and I to a larger apartment?

   Jim, It is probable that you and your wife moved to a senior community for socialization and support in addition to the meal plan. Considering your wife's dementia and your advancing age, it is a good idea to stay in such an environment that offers you support when you need it...
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3. How can we handle my mother's move into a senior living facility when she keeps forgetting she agreed to go?

   You may want the marketing person to come to the house and talk to your mother, show her the checks and contract and tell her it was her decision. I'm afraid you may not be able to deal with this yourself. You could also wait, try the process again and video parts of it for insurance for yourself. If none of this works you may be able to get your mother's Dr...
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4. How long should it take for my mother with Alzheimer's adjust to her new home?

   You are right. Limit your visits and calls.
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5. What is the best way to speak with my stepmom about moving from a house that is too big for her and my dad?

   First of all, I don't think you should approach your stepmother on her own about this issue. If you have a good relationship with her, then the three of you should get together and discuss the situation. It would be helpful to have a pro and con list so that when she creates those roadblocks you can...
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6. Grandpa won't move out and won't bathe. Help?

   First a better understanding of the term 'Dementia' will help you deal with behavioral problems such as refusing to bathe and refusing to move out of the current home. When a person has Dementia, he loses the ability to solve problems and even to recognize that he has a problem. In his reality, he is fine and you are the person making unreasonable demands...
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7. Are there organizations that can help with the costs of dealing with personal property after a loved one passes?

   Many individuals struggle with moving their parents’ belongings after death. Currently, there is no federal program designed to support this, however, you may have some luck on a local level. County social agencies have a variety of programs for seniors that may fit the bi...
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8. What happens to the contract at an apartment complex if the resident must move to a care facility?

   In my area, which is northern California there really isn't any difference in a person moving out of an apartment because they must or because they want to. Contracts for apartment are legal and binding. Unfortunately, the resident must abide by the contract unless, of course, you have an understanding...
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9. How can I leave my father at a memory care facility with out conflict?

   Many of us consider a move into an long term living facility as failure in our ability to care for our loved ones; it can make us feel terribly guilty. When we have these feelings, few of us realize how we affect the mood and behavior of our loved ones. I hope you feel very positive and optimistic on your dad’s behalf...
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10. How do I find an elder care moving manager?

    What you described as an “elder care moving manager” is more commonly known as a “relocation specialist,” but the concept is exactly the same. In fact, an entire niche market has sprung up in recent years to assist with moves that occur later in life.
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11. Is there financial aid to cover moving expenses?

    Many cities and counties offer various types of moving assistance programs, yet most are designed for families/individuals who have already qualified for financial aid and who must move due to immediate medical or safety reasons. You may wish to inquire through your county Social Services agency...
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12. Will moving to a higher elevation make my COPD worse?

    The answer depends on the severity of your COPD. The oxygen level will be lower at higher elevations, even in individuals with normal lung function, simply because of the lower barometric pressure. Since the normal lung has plenty of reserve, the oxygen at elevation may drop to a level that would still be considered normal, so it is usually not an issue...
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13. Would my mom's power of attorney and living will have to be changed if she moves to a different state?

    First, I must congratulate you and your brother and mother for seeming to pull together over these difficult decisions. Others could learn a lesson from you.
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14. How do I convince my mother to move to be closer even though she's overwhelmed with the thought of moving all of her stuff?

    Sometimes the best way to get a parent to move is to say "Let's move what you need right away, close up the house, and come back in a month or two to get everything else."
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15. Mom is moving here from several states away. How do I find...

    First I'd like to say how nice it is you're putting the effort in to help your mother get settled when she moves. And what could be more important than finding her a good doctor. This kind of advance planning pays off down the line. I wish there were an easy way of doing this, but doctor-shopping takes leg-work...
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16. Can I get paid to relocate back to Michigan to care for my mother?

    There may not be any funds to pay for your relocation, but it's possible that you could get paid to take care of your mother, and maybe also your aunt, once you get to Michigan. If either your mother or aunt has low income and assets, they each might qualify for Medicaid, which provides in-home care...
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17. Should my mother continue to live in Ireland or move to the United States to be closer to family?

    You may wish to begin by determining what her support system is in Ireland. Do you have extended family, friends and relatives there? What services are available to her? Have you asked your mother where she prefers to live? It is understandable that you wish to have her here with you, but it may help...
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18. In which state should I start Medicaid apps?

    You should probably help your mother apply for Medicaid in New Jersey immediately, then apply again in New York as soon as she actually moves in with you. This means two different application processes, but it is probably worth doing, for several reasons...
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19. Where is the best place to get a durable power of attorney if Mom is moving out-of-state?

    First a few words that don’t directly answer your question: For better or worse, there don’t seem to be many “conventional mother/daughter relationships” once you look and listen more closely. And rest assured that your solution doesn’t sound harsh—only realistic and pragmatic and quite surely basedsurely...
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20. How does moving affect dementia?

    It is admirable of you and your family to share the caregiving of your mother as well as her love. However, I do not recommend moving her from place to place. For persons with dementia, stability and routine are very important, especially as the disease progresses. So, moving does effect dementia...
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