Life Without Car Questions

1. How can I take Mom's driver's license away if she has cognitive impairment?

   There is no short answer to this problem, or a one-size fits all solution. Nothing defines personal freedom and independence in America, particularly among the elderly, as does the ability to come and go at will in one’s own car.
   1 Expert Answer

2. How can I spare my husband's pride when asking him not to drive anymore?

   Thank you for your question and for providing enough detail to get a glimpse of your husband -- beyond a collection of diagnoses, but as a proud, very high-achieving man - that you love after 50+ years of marriage. I can tell you that in general, driving cessation is harder for men compared to women...
   1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

3. How do I take the keys away from an alcoholic parent?

   This is a tough situation, I'm sorry you have to deal with it. I'm going to assume that you have tried to talk to her to convince her not to drink and drive, and that has not been successful. Drinking and driving is deadly -- especially for older drivers because our bodies get less efficient at processing alcohol so the impact of it is amplified...
   1 Expert Answer, 3 Community Answers

4. How can I approach Mom about giving up her car keys?

   Thanks for your questions. It sounds like you have your hands full.
   1 Expert Answer

5. My mother needs help but is unwilling to accept it. What should I do?

   At some point, our loved ones' choices seem to go from bad to worse. We see our parents spinning out of control and we know we are the only thing that stands between them and a disaster. We do for them what they did for us when we were in their care. We move them decisively out of harm's way. Often it is not appreciated...
   1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

6. How do I get my husband to stop driving as the doctors say he must?

   Find out what the process is for reporting medically impaired drivers to the Department of Motor Vehicles in your state. Ask the physician to submit the required paperwork. This should trigger a licensing action (e.g., order to surrender license, testing). You may be able to submit a report as well. Contact your local police department...
   1 Expert Answer, 7 Community Answers

7. How can I get my uncle to stop driving and move into a retirement community?

   Communication is the best tool at your disposal. Try talking with your uncle, using motivational interviewing techniques (described in my book The Driving Dilemma and in articles on this site) to find out how he views the situation.
   1 Expert Answer

8. Are doctors required to notify the state if someone is no longer capable of driving safely?

   The short answer is No. These regulations vary by state. In Ohio health care providers are permitted to notify the licensing authority (Bureau of Motor Vehicles), but they are not required to do so. Caring.com has a great state-by-state guide to state laws that you may find helpful...
   1 Expert Answer

9. How can we stop mom from driving when Alzheimer's makes using alternatives difficult?

   My family faced a similar situation -- and I know how hard it is to figure out exactly when to take the keys away from a loved one with dementia. Even experts sometimes disagree on when driving cessation is warranted for someone with Alzheimer's disease. But you are describing some red flags that suggest it is time for your grandmother to stop driving (e...
   1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

10. Can melatonin be given with Aricept? And if you're on Aricept should the DMV be notified?

    In a well controlled study, melatonin was not found effective in promoting sleep in persons with dementia. Aricept does not help sleep either, it actually could disrupt sleep if given in the evening by causing nightmares. Aricept is sometimes prescribed even for people with mild cognitive impairment...
    1 Expert Answer

11. Are safety issues covered by a healthcare power of attorney?

    Interesting and novel question. Would your (and your brother's) authority under your mother's health care power of attorney allow you to enforce concerns about her safety by preventing her from riding with her new husband? I doubt if there is any legal authority on this question...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

12. My mother refuses to give up her car keys, what can we to so make her stop driving?

    Thanks for sharing your situation, I'm sorry -- it sounds very, very challenging. It isn't clear to me what your mother's health problems are that make her unfit to drive or why the doctor told her to stop driving. But let's assume she is no longer medically fit to drive...
    1 Expert Answer, 2 Community Answers

13. Since he lost his license, my father seems to have lost all interest in life. What can I do?

    It isn't uncommon for elderly people to lapse into depression when they can no longer drive, and it sounds like that's what's going on with your father. If you can consider the situation from your father's perspective, you'll be less baffled by his behavior and better able to help...
    1 Expert Answer

14. Could this 'trouble" be related to his vision or could dementia be setting in?

    Difficulty driving around a familiar area could be caused by vision loss or by dementia. In order to distinguish between the two it is important to know what type of difficulty your father is having. If he is losing his way in familiar areas or forgetting how to get home, that may suggest dementia...
    1 Expert Answer

15. How can I gently approach the subject of handing over the car keys with my dad?

    It's time to work closely with your father's health care providers. Driving requires the ability to see, think, and move. Parkinson's symptoms and treatments may impair driving fitness and it sounds like your father has both cognitive and motor skill issues.
    1 Expert Answer, 5 Community Answers

16. Can I legally remove Dad's car?

    Boy this is a sticky situation. I recommend talking this over informally with your local law enforcement officials. Unfortunately they have to deal with drunk driving every day and may have some advice on how to keep your step-dad safely off the road.
    1 Expert Answer, 5 Community Answers

17. With power of attorney, can I keep Dad from renewing his driver's license?

    Thanks for your question. Dealing with a medically impaired loved one who keeps talking about driving, when he/she is not at all fit to drive, is really tough. To me it sounds like you have handled this quite well. His license expired, he is not legally permitted to drive - so you are perfectly right to keep him from behind the wheel...
    1 Expert Answer

18. How can I stop my father driving?

    It sounds like you're doing your best in a very difficult situation.
    1 Expert Answer, 8 Community Answers

19. How can I help my mother deal with her pain and keep her from driving?

    This is where you need to enlist the help of the physician who is providing the prescriptions.  Your mother's mild dementia and frequent falls can certainly be made worse by her medications. Most pain pills have caution labels for driving due to their sedative side effect...
    1 Expert Answer, 4 Community Answers

20. How can I help my father, a paraplegic and alcoholic, who is refusing all assistance?

    It must be painful to witness your father's self-destruction. And your question underscores how utterly powerless loved ones can be in the face of alcohol addiction. It's not clear whether your father was an alcoholic before becoming a paraplegic, but it sounds as if his alcohol intake has worsened in the past six years...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer