Difficult Behaviors Questions

1. How Do We Deal with Mother with No Hope of Cooperation?

   In a situation like yours, the best you can do is to have your mother evaluated by a psychiatrist. If she does have dementia, it must be diagnosed. Then guardianship should be sought for control of her assets. Of course she may not agree to the evaluation, so if not, I would urge you to contact Adult Protective Services in your county...
   1 Expert Answer

2. My mother is self-conscious about eating in front of others. How can I help?

   This is a difficult situation, as I agree with you about your mother being at risk for "choking". Have you asked your mother why she doesn't like anyone to watch her eat? Was she like this before the strokes? Perhaps she feels like her eating is something that she can still control herself, and that is why she doesn't want you involved...
   1 Expert Answer, 2 Community Answers

3. How can I get my mother with Alzheimer's to stop picking her skin?

   This must be devastating for you as a caregiver to watch your Mom repeatedly performing an act that can potentially become a grave medical problem. It is difficult enough to deal with Alzheimer's without the addition of this ongoing habit. I'm sure it is also less than pleasing to be viewing this ritual and its bloody results day after day...
   1 Expert Answer

4. How do I diffuse Mom's anger when I explain things to her?

   The good news for you is that it’s not at all difficult to diffuse and distract a person in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. Try asking your step-mom for help - or for her opinion, or give her something to hold for you. By reversing your roles in that moment, you have instantly changed her focus cus by making her feel useful...
   1 Expert Answer

5. What can I do to help my dad keep from becoming suddenly agitated?

   It sounds like a very strenuous situation and must be as frustrating for you as it is for your dad. You mention that your father "seems angry and frustrated most of the time because he can't do the things he used to do". I think you are totally correct in that assumption...
   1 Expert Answer, 2 Community Answers

6. How do you help someone who won't even admit that they have Alzheimer's disease?

   What a dilemma. You sound like a wonderful professional caregiver trying to do all the right things to make this experience as positive as possible. The problem is - it is not always possible! The denial of her diagnosis certainly compounds things for both of you...
   1 Expert Answer

7. How should I handle my mother when she tells me she wants to go home?

   Perhaps the most important lesson is to learn to hear what emotion your mom is expressing when asking to go home. This particular expression of 'going home' is heard in Alzheimer (AD) homes every day across the world. It doesn't seem to matter where the AD person is living at the time; the phrase has...
   1 Expert Answer

8. Why does my sister publicly undress after her doctor changed her medications?

   We all deserve to live our lives to the fullest and your sister’s very fortunate to have you as her advocate. Her new behavior may be the natural progression of her dementia, however since this happened quite suddenly, chances are that the cause is from something el...
   1 Expert Answer

9. Why does my dementia patient change the thermostat when no one is looking?

   A comment: As we age, our normal body temperature drops by a degree or two - this doesn't sound like much, but when you couple that with regular inactivity of this population, it makes a big difference. To be comfortable, most elderly people need the room temperature to be several degrees higher than your normal comfort level...
   2 Expert Answers, 1 Community Answer

10. Is it typical for Alzheimer's patients to experience rapid decline?

    I'm about one hour behind you.
    4 Expert Answers, 3 Community Answers

11. My mother-in-law has been having delusions for years and no one will help, what can I do?

    Dear In Need of Help:
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

12. What the best way of dealing with out of control behavior in Alzheimer's?

    Dealing with out of control behavior can be very stressful and draining for the caregiver. So it is wise to look for ideas to help minimize the behaviors and how to handle them when they do occur. First, usually a "behavior" is not something that comes on with no cause but rather there is an underlying...
    1 Expert Answer

13. How can I get my mother with Alzheimer's to stop holding saliva in her mouth?

    Because of her disease, your mother may not grasp the concept of spitting. Rather than trying to get her to spit out the excess saliva, give her a bite of something she really likes, so she will automatically swallow the saliva along with it.
    1 Expert Answer

14. What can I do about my husband with hiding money?

    Maintaining control over ones finances is a struggle for Alzheimer patients especially at early stages of the disease. It represents their sense of self esteem and self determination. They may go to the ATM, remove hundreds of dollars and not remember where they hid it. Without a caregiver, they may go every day and deplete their funds...
    1 Expert Answer, 5 Community Answers

15. My mom cries daily for her deceased mom in the bathroom, what can we do?

    I’m glad you clarified. Your mother’s issues are very different, so please disregard all the advice on grief; that’s the last feeling you want to reinforce. Your mother is experiencing an “altered reality,” (also thought of as a hallucination) a frequent phenomenon in people with Alzheimer’s and rel’s and related dementias...
    2 Expert Answers, 2 Community Answers

16. Do all Alzheimer's patients have a negative attitude?

    People with Alzheimer’s or other memory-impairment tend to reflect the mood, tone and attitude of their caregivers. Because of their disorders, their impressions and perceptions are easily distorted and influenced by external factors.
    1 Expert Answer

17. My wife's Alzheimer's has gotten progressively more difficult to deal with, what should I do?

    You have your hands full! Most of these behaviors are actually not that unusual for people in the mid-to-later stage of Alzheimer’s. Fortunately, with a few changes your life and hers will improve greatly.
    1 Expert Answer

18. What does it mean when my husband clicks clicks his teeth?

    When your husband clicks his teeth it could mean he is feeling nervous and this is the way he expresses it.
    1 Expert Answer

19. I am a caregiver for my mom. She cannot feed or bathe...

    Your mother is very frail.If she won't open her mouth for her dentures, she is trying to communicate something to you. Maybe is it a message that she can't put into words. First,it is possible that her dentures don't fit properly and are uncomfortable. Second, it might be her only way left to take control of her life...
    1 Expert Answer

20. What options do I have if my mother's Alzheimer's related anger is getting her kicked out of her nursing home?

    Dear L.R. Your mother’s behavior is not that uncommon. In the later stages of Alzheimer’s disease, people lose the ability to express themselves verbally, often resorting to aggression and violence as their only means of communicating their problems, i.e. hunger, thirst, anxiety, boredom, fear or par pain...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer