Difficult Behaviors Questions
112 Question and Answer Results
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My mother is self-conscious about eating in front of others. How can I help?
This is a difficult situation, as I agree with you about your mother being at risk for "choking". Have you asked your mother why she doesn't like anyone to watch her eat? Was she like this before the strokes? Perhaps she feels like her eating is something that she can still control herself, and that is why she doesn't want you involved... -
How can I get my mother with Alzheimer's to stop picking her skin?
This must be devastating for you as a caregiver to watch your Mom repeatedly performing an act that can potentially become a grave medical problem. It is difficult enough to deal with Alzheimer's without the addition of this ongoing habit. I'm sure it is also less than pleasing to be viewing this ritual and its bloody results day after day... -
Why does my sister publicly undress after her doctor changed her medications?
We all deserve to live our lives to the fullest and your sister’s very fortunate to have you as her advocate. Her new behavior may be the natural progression of her dementia, however since this happened quite suddenly, chances are that the cause is from something el... -
What the best way of dealing with out of control behavior in Alzheimer's?
Dealing with out of control behavior can be very stressful and draining for the caregiver. So it is wise to look for ideas to help minimize the behaviors and how to handle them when they do occur. First, usually a "behavior" is not something that comes on with no cause but rather there is an underlying... -
I am a caregiver for my mom. She cannot feed or bathe...
Your mother is very frail.If she won't open her mouth for her dentures, she is trying to communicate something to you. Maybe is it a message that she can't put into words. First,it is possible that her dentures don't fit properly and are uncomfortable. Second, it might be her only way left to take control of her life... -
How do I diffuse Mom's anger when I explain things to her?
The good news for you is that it’s not at all difficult to diffuse and distract a person in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. Try asking your step-mom for help - or for her opinion, or give her something to hold for you. By reversing your roles in that moment, you have instantly changed her focus cus by making her feel useful... -
What can I do to help my dad keep from becoming suddenly agitated?
It sounds like a very strenuous situation and must be as frustrating for you as it is for your dad. You mention that your father "seems angry and frustrated most of the time because he can't do the things he used to do". I think you are totally correct in that assumption... -
How can I get my mother to accept her Alzheimer's diagnosis?
I responded to an almost identical query in this column last month and am 'borrowing' some of that answer in reponse to your very familiar question. You sound like a wonderful daughter trying to do all the right things to make this experience as positive as possible. The problem is - it is not always possible... -
How should I handle my mother when she tells me she wants to go home?
Perhaps the most important lesson is to learn to hear what emotion your mom is expressing when asking to go home. This particular expression of 'going home' is heard in Alzheimer (AD) homes every day across the world. It doesn't seem to matter where the AD person is living at the time; the phrase has... -
Why is my mother with dementia acting so strangely?
My heart goes out to you. Sadly, I know what you're going through because like you, I'm providing care and oversight for my 90-year old mother who has mid-to-late stage Alzheimer's. -
Why does my dementia patient change the thermostat when no one is looking?
A comment: As we age, our normal body temperature drops by a degree or two - this doesn't sound like much, but when you couple that with regular inactivity of this population, it makes a big difference. To be comfortable, most elderly people need the room temperature to be several degrees higher than your normal comfort level... -
How do I stop my mom with Alzheimer's from handling her waste?
Many families give up caring for their loved ones at home the day they are faced with incontinence. You have gone way beyond that. You have a wonderful family; my hat off to both you and your husband. -
How can we get Dad's anger and aggression in check and get him the help that he needs?
Dear Worried About Mom’s Safety: -
My mother-in-law has been having delusions for years and no one will help, what can I do?
Dear In Need of Help: -
How do you cope with time confusion in dementia patients?
Alzheimer patients often become disoriented to time. Despite being able to read the clock, they may ask repeatedly what time it is and, as you said, misperceive the 'passing' of time. When they leave the house, they may immediately want to return or when waiting just a few minutes at a doctor's appointment, they may complain they have been waiting for hours... -
How can I get my mother with Alzheimer's to stop holding saliva in her mouth?
Because of her disease, your mother may not grasp the concept of spitting. Rather than trying to get her to spit out the excess saliva, give her a bite of something she really likes, so she will automatically swallow the saliva along with it. -
What can I do about my husband with hiding money?
Maintaining control over ones finances is a struggle for Alzheimer patients especially at early stages of the disease. It represents their sense of self esteem and self determination. They may go to the ATM, remove hundreds of dollars and not remember where they hid it. Without a caregiver, they may go every day and deplete their funds... -
How can I help my father with Alzheimer's disease be less aggressive with my husband?
It sounds like you and your husband are in a difficult situation. However, Alzheimer's aggression with a loved one can be analyzed to look for triggers and there are strategies that can be tried. -
My mom cries daily for her deceased mom in the bathroom, what can we do?
I’m glad you clarified. Your mother’s issues are very different, so please disregard all the advice on grief; that’s the last feeling you want to reinforce. Your mother is experiencing an “altered reality,” (also thought of as a hallucination) a frequent phenomenon in people with Alzheimer’s and rel’s and related dementias... -
How should I handle my mom with Alzheimer's when she is acting rudely towards me?
In trying to be the best caregivers, many of us don’t realize when we’re overdoing it. It can be very stressful always to be on the receiving end of kindness. Most of us need purpose; we need something to do.
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