Communication Questions

1. Should I sit in on my dad's medical appointments to make sure he discusses all issues he's having?

   It's great that you want to make sure your dad's doctor is getting all the information he needs. Have you tried asking your dad directly if he minds you sitting in on his appointments? This would be the best approach. You can explain to your dad that you'll give him the privacy he needs, but want to...
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2. How can we persuade my father to talk to us about his health and other issues?

   If you can, try to persuade your father to see his physician for a medical check-up as soon as possible. You should also talk to his physician yourself, and explain your concerns. You said your father is showing signs of mental decline. It's possible that his behavior is being caused, at least in part...
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3. My husband has early onset Alzheimer's, should I discuss it with him?

   I am so sorry to read that your husband has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s disease. I’m sure that has been devastating to you both.
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4. How do I get my dad to share the responsibility of making decisions about my mother's healthcare with me?

   This is a good question. I spoke to a neurologist friend and compared her viewpoint as a physician with mine as a nurse (and as the daughter of an elderly mom).
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5. How do you explain to someone that they are going into respite care for 1 week and then permanently into a nursing home?

   This is a very tough issue. It is difficult to explain to someone, especially if they were living independently, that they are going to move into a nursing home. The best advice I can give is to be direct and try to answer any questions as honestly as possible. If your loved one wants to know the reasons, tell them as simply as you can...
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6. Who do I talk to at Mom's nursing home about concerns regarding her care?

   The middle stages of dementia, where it sounds to me your mother may be, are among the most challenging. Behaviors like the ones you are describing are the norm and can be very concerning and upsetting to family who see such a stark contrast to the person they knew before the disease...
   1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

7. Can you offer any advice on bathing a modest parent?

   You can try covering her with a towel, but frankly it's almost possible to keep your mom covered with a towel for the whole bath. Try this approach: wrap a towel around her waist if she's standing, or place it over her lap if she's sitting...
   1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

8. How can I help my parent accept her eye disease?

   We tell our patients not to give up hope for a miracle but not to wait for it. You'll want to respect your parent's feelings, but at the same time you can encourage her to explore low-vision aids (like magnifiers and talking watches) and resources (like support groups and rehabilitation training)...
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9. How can I get my father to join a Parkinson's disease support group?

   I'm a big fan of support groups. If your father is apprehensive about seeing other patients with Parkinson's disease who are further along in the illness, what I'd say to him is: "Yes, you may see someone who's considerably impaired because of Parkinson's...
   1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

10. How do we deal with my father-in-law's denial that his wife is dying?

    Unless someone else has been authorized to make decisions for your mother-in-law's care in an advance directive or other legal document, doctors will look to your father-in-law for decisions about her care, and it sounds as if he is not ready to let her go.
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11. How can you help convince a caregiver to stop focusing exclusively on caregiving?

    It's not uncommon for caregivers to become totally absorbed in their caregiving duties to the exclusion of everything else. Over time, most caregivers learn to pace themselves and pick up the previous threads of their lives. If they don't, they risk losing relationships, friends, jobs -- and their own health...
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12. How can I get my mother’s caregiver to communicate better with us?

    Sometimes communicating with a home health worker is as simple as having a 3 ring binder note book in the home, where all are expected to record what has occurred during a shift. What your mother ate, when she slept, when she took medications, who visited and when, what outings she went on, etc...
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13. How do I explain Alzheimer's to a child?

    Be simple and direct, but not overly technical. Alzheimer's is a big word that may not mean much to kids of any age, and "disease" can sound like something catching (which it isn't). So simplify: "Grandma has a memory problem." Or, "Grandma has a disease that is sort of like if you had a tape recorder in your head, but the tape recorder is turned off...
    FAQ 1 Expert Answer, 2 Community Answers

14. How Should I Tell Others That a Family Member Has Alzheimer's?

    There's no single "best" way or timetable for sharing this information. Ideally, in the early stage, the person with the disease should direct how and when to tell others. Some people feel embarrassed or ashamed and don't want anyone to know...
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15. Is it Okay to Give Sad News to a Person With Dementia?

    Yes, the person has the right to know this information, no matter what stage of disease she's in. How she responds and how well she remembers depends on the person and the circumstances.
    FAQ 1 Expert Answer

16. How do you deal with a parent that is unable to communicate?

    I can understand how difficult and frustrating it would be to want to help your parent, but not know how. You don't say why your parent can't speak. It could be physical (such as paralysis after a stroke), or emotional (shutting-down and being noncommunicative can be a symptom of depression). Since you say "can't," I'm going to assume the cause is physical...
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17. How can I help my mom, who seems really down about her diabetes diagnosis?

    You can be a big help to your mother by supporting her, acknowledging her feelings, and partnering with her as she comes to grips with having this major medical disorder. It may help to know that she's not alone; at least a third of people with diabetes struggle with depression, and people with the disease...
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18. Should me tell my mother, who has dementia and can get very emotional, that her brother has passed away?

    It's always difficult to decide what to tell individuals in the middle or later stages of dementia about the death of a loved one. Because they are in the middle or later stages, sometimes they do not really have the ability to comprehend or retain the information. But that does not mean they do not have the right to be told about it...
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19. How can I get my father to tell the doctor how bad his pain is?

    You've got a long history of interacting with your father, which gives you an advantage over the doctor. You have the ability to understand what your dad's truly feeling, regardless of his ability to put it into words, whereas the doctor only knows what your dad tells him...
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20. What can I do to encourage my elderly parent to use a walker or cane?

    I know how difficult this can be. Using an assistive device for walking often symbolizes regression in an elderly person's mind -- a visible sign of losing independence. It's important to listen to, acknowledge, and empathize with your father's concerns. But, there are several things you can do to encourage him to use a walking aid...
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