Common Caregiving Challenges Questions

1. Where do I start in planning care for my parents, who have dementia?

   You are already doing the first thing you need to do to help them. You are showing interest in their welfare; surely they are isolated enough from the world already but you are minimizing that isolation. Please do not underestimate how much your contact probably means to them. The next step is to problem solve around your mother-in-law’s immobility...
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2. I am a caregiver for my mom. She cannot feed or bathe...

   Your mother is very frail.If she won't open her mouth for her dentures, she is trying to communicate something to you. Maybe is it a message that she can't put into words. First,it is possible that her dentures don't fit properly and are uncomfortable. Second, it might be her only way left to take control of her life...
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3. Is there anything I should know about helping to care for my mother-in-law?

   Congratulations on asking the questions before you need more help in caregiving for your mother-in-law. As you probably already know, the big issues with seniors and their well-being are medical and financial concerns. Understanding your mother-in-law’s medical needs, keeping an accurate list of mededications...
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4. Will dad ever get his strength back, and is the physical therapy worth doing?

   Your question is "Will he get his strength back?" Yes, muscles do continue to respond to strength training throughout the lifetime. But functional outcomes such as walking, bathing, dressing require a lot more than pure strength. For example, balance, motor control, muscle flexibility and length, vision, safety awareness, mental capacity and motivation etc...
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5. How do I go about getting the right care for my father?

   I am not a doctor or nurse; I am a geriatric care manager with almost 20 years of experience assisting families with older relatives improve their lives. My advice is to have an appointment with a geriatrician. This is a physician that has taken advanced training on how to work with older bodies...
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6. Why would God allow my mother to suffer?

   The question of why God allows suffering is one most of us will wrestle with at one point or another, especially if those we love are hurting and people we love and admire like your mom. And while we sometimes can come up with logical reasons for pain, sickness, and tragedy, the truth of the matter is...
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7. Are there any classes I can take to become a better family caregiver?

   Because you are in a situation with such specific disease and disability needs, classes for family caregivers means for you tackling these from a variety of sources. I’ll get to those in a minute, but it seems to me that you really ought to get a geriatric assessment as well, so someone in your commmmunity...
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8. How can I stop Mom from getting unsolicited mail?

   Your mom’s newish preoccupation may seem disturbing and a bit out of control. But reading between the lines, there may be some very positive rays of hope in the situation you describe.
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9. What should I say to friends who ask about my caregiving situation?

   I am sorry to hear about your mother's declining health. It can be tempting to talk too much about caregiving to thoughtful people who inquire. At the same time, you want to be as authentic as possible. There is certainly nothing wrong with saying that you are taking it one day at a time. It prevents sharing intimate details about your mother...
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10. How can I get my sister's medical records years after her death?

    Hello,
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11. Which type of music player would be easiest for my mom to control?

    It's so great that you want to provide music for your mom to listen to in her assisted living bedroom -- numerous studies have shown that music can have a positive impact on the quality of life of the elderly (http://www.caregivershome.com/Spiritual/spiritual.cfm?UID=64).
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12. How can we help my mother regain her confidence?

    This is a very frustrating experience for all. If this has been something that has been going for a while, especially in their younger years, then it will be hard to break the habit. He may be acting out of his own frustration. I think some awareness, education, sensitivity training, and support group involvement may be helpful...
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13. What could help my mom make phone calls more easily?

    As your mom recovers her speech and writing ability after her stroke, she may still need some assistance. One way to help make phone calls, is a picture phone - in which pictures of her friends or relatives are on the front of the telephone, associated with their phone numbers...
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14. Should Mom see a nutritionist?

    Coordinating the care needs of people in later life is often complicated by multiple diagnoses. Your mother's primary care physician should be the one managing her medical care and making referrals for her physical care. Physicians usually limit their scope to physical and medical needs, leaving spiritual, emotional, and psychological care needs to others...
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15. Who is more responsible to provide care? A parent or child?

    There are filial responsibility laws in just over half the states that specify that adult children are legally responsible for providing necessities such as food, clothing, shelter, and medical attention if their parents are indigent. And most state laws also require parents to provide care and support...
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16. If I get my mother with Alzheimer's declared "incompetent," will I be able to sell her home?

    The lawyer may be right that you have no authority to you’re your mother’s home and car if you have only been appointed an agent for her medical care.
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17. my mom in NH needs a hobby

    Getting your mom something meaningful to do and bringing her the supplies for knitting is a very good idea. Fortunately, if your mom is knitting and doing crochet, she likely wouldn’t need scissors that often. You can look for blunt point scissors especially designed for children and if they still d...
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18. How can we plan ahead for when Dad needs more care?

    Making an informed decision about long term care for a parent with Alzheimer’s requires gathering extensive data information and exploring viable options……before a crisis occurs. This means that now, when your parents are in good health, is the opportune moment to begin your ...
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19. My grandmother has become very hostile and I'm afraid to even try to bring her to a doctor, is there anything I can do?

    As difficult as this is to see a way through it to a happier arrangement, you have the right idea in asking for ideas from others.
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20. Where can I find helpful information and tips on caregiving?

    Find helpful resources on the Ask Medicare Web site, at www.medicare.gov/caregivers. Ask Medicare’s Web site offers information on everything from managing Medicare expenses to addressing specific health conditions to strategies to help caregivers manage stress.
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