Alzheimer's Money and Legal Questions

1. How do I handle my father's excessive donations to charities?

   I've had several clients with similar experiences. You have to get the checkbook away from him and take control of his financial affairs. Do you have a durable power of attorney? If so, you can add your name to the account. But you must get the checkbook out of his hands...
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2. Is it legal for a dementia patient to sign papers regarding his medical care?

   You mention a couple things that are potentially troublesome: The nursing home’s insistence on using its own doctor—and the forced signed consent.
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3. How can I take over Mom's finances without her consent?

   The hard truth is that you can’t force your mom to complete a power of attorney for finances if she refuses to do it. But there are other practical steps you can take to curtail her access to her own funds—and it sounds as if you and your sister have already started that process.
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4. How can we figure out our parent's financial situation if they are unable to give us information?

   You are in a situation in trying to find your parent's financial information that may leave you with few choices. If your parent never signed a durable power of attorney (for finances), you must seek legal help to get her under the court's authority through a guardianship (called a conservatorship in some places)...
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5. How can I get my bank to honor the power of attorney I have for my husband, who has Alzheimer's?

   You know that what the bank is doing is frustrating, but it may also be illegal: bank authorities are legally responsible to honor powers of attorney that have taken effect unless there is a fatal flaw such as a forged signature.
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6. What is my mother's legal obligation to pay donation pledges she has given over the phone?

   An annoying legal loophole--that one about charities. But the theory was that philanthropists should continue to be philanthropic, which is usually a good thing.
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7. Where can I get free help with legal questions?

   There are several places you might contact to get legal help. You may even be able to find a lawyer who will help you without being paid right away. Many lawyers take cases based on what's called a "contingency fee." That means they don't ask for any money at the beginning of the case. Instead, they wait to get paid out of the money they win for a client...
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8. Can a lawyer deny changing of a trust?

   Your mother has the legal right to change her will and trust provisions as long as she has the mental capacity to do so. To pass the test for mental capacity, the law requires that she must know:
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9. My mother has severe dementia, she has good days and bad...

   You cannot get a legally valid power of attorney without your mother's consent. You want her to agree to and sign what's called a "durable power of attorney for finances."[DPA] It's called "durable" because the person appointed agent (you) can continue to represent and act for the principal (your mother) even if she is incompetent...
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10. Does there need to be specific language in an advance directive regarding Alzheimer's?

    Your question, and what you witnessed from the inside out, highlight the serious gaps that exist between the legalities of medical directives and the realities of disease and medical care.
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11. Will selling mom's home to my sister affect her look back period?

    First, as long as your mother sells her house to your sister, or to anyone else, for fair market value, the sale will not DIRECTLY affect her eligibility for Medicaid nursing home coverage, which is what it seems you are concerned about, when you mention the "look-back" period, given your mother's early-stage dementia...
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12. As her POA, how do I convince my cousin who I suspect is suffering from Alzheimer's to take a test for competency?

    There is no easy answer to convince your cousin to take a competency test for Alzheimer’s. It may take patience...a lot of patience!
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13. Can legal documents be changed after an Alzheimer's diagnosis?

    The power to create or change a legal document such as a will, advance directive or power of attorney comes from the person whose property or medical care will be affected by it. Caregivers need not be consulted first.There is a legal requirement, however, that the person for whom such documents are made must be "of sound mind...
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14. Where can I find financial assistance? I'm out of work and the sole caregiver for my wife who has Alzheimer's.

    It might be possible to get some regular payment to take care of your wife. With your unemployment and few assets, your wife might qualify for a state-run program where you live, which can provide some payment directly to your wife for her to be cared for at home. And this money can go to you if you are the one caring for her...
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15. How can we deal with my father, who has Alzheimer's, being obsessed and believing he is a millionaire?

    You may not believe this but you are fortunate that he thinks he is a millionaire, a very happy place for him to be. Many times the delusions are very unhappy places.. We can' t say why he believes this to be true and at this point it's not important. You and the family are responding in a very appropriate way by listening and agreeing with him...
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16. Can I legally get Mom's boyfriend out of her life?

    Any advice you get or take must be tempered with a dose of uncomfortable reality: Unless your mother’s boyfriend is truly acting fraudulently or abusively, it may not be possible to remove him from her life.
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17. We live in California. My dad receives SSI, and I am his...

    You indicate in your question that your "older sister is in charge of all his finances," but unfortunately you do not indicate the basis for her authority. She may derive her authority from being a joint owner on his checking or savings accounts. If this is so, she has a legal right to access to any or all of those accounts for whatever reason she chooses...
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18. I'm being fined for 'failure of safety' as POA.

    As the agent under a Durable Power of Attorney, you are charged with acting in the best interests of your mother under the Durable Power of Attorney. This is what is referred to as your fiduciary duty. However, you are not a guarantor of her safety even though you must take reasonable steps to insure her safety...
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19. Mom's ex cleaned out their joint accounts! Can we get some money back?

    Your lawyer is right that joint owners of bank accounts both have full and equal say in how funds are accessed and spent.
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20. Any suggestions for talking to my father, who has Alzheimer's, about his finances?

    Parents often fear that enlisting a family member to help with finances means starting down a slippery slope to losing autonomy. Reassure your dad that it doesn't have to be that way. Tell him, "I want you to remain independent for as long as possible. My goal is to help you stay where you are and be in control but to have some support...
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