Alzheimer's Family Concerns Questions

1. I worry about my husband with Alzheimer's being alone while I'm at work but he refuses professional company, what should I do?

   You have done an admirable job! Accolades to you for all the appropriate arrangements you've made. I would have suggested every one. I would not be overly concerned with his alone-time right now. Often, early onset AD folks are relieved to not be with people in the well-functioning world who have expectations that the patient knows he can not meet...
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2. Should we tell Dad he can't go back home?

   Relocating is always a complex issue for older adults and expressing a desire to return home is very common….and can persist for years. If the elder suffers from a moderate stage of dementia with disorientation to place, this plaint could be a daily reque...
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3. How do we deal with Mom rejecting us due to dementia?

   Your mother’s rejection must feel like a stab to your heart; of course your feelings are hurt. No doubt this rejection was brought on because of her dementia. An innocent remark or gesture on your part could have brought back something unpleasant from her childhood or youth and because of her dementntia she’s unable to separate the present from the past...
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4. Is it worthwhile to help Mom create new friendships in her new communtity with moderate Alzheimer's?

   Your situation is shared with numerous, if not the majority, of children in long-distance relationships with a declining parent. A person with dementia is often able to keep up a telephone conversation for ten or so minutes without giving away her progressing memory-loss and confusi...
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5. My husband has early onset Alzheimer's, should I discuss it with him?

   I am so sorry to read that your husband has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s disease. I’m sure that has been devastating to you both.
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6. How do I explain Alzheimer's to a child?

   Be simple and direct, but not overly technical. Alzheimer's is a big word that may not mean much to kids of any age, and "disease" can sound like something catching (which it isn't). So simplify: "Grandma has a memory problem." Or, "Grandma has a disease that is sort of like if you had a tape recorder in your head, but the tape recorder is turned off...
   FAQ 1 Expert Answer, 2 Community Answers

7. Can dementia change personality?

   Dementia can, indeed, change a person’s personality if the part of the brain where personality is lodged is damaged. Sometimes there are situations or people that are triggering this behavior. It can be helpful to keep a log of when and under what conditions she gets so angry and out of control. Is s it around a particular task, such as bathing...
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8. How do we get Mom to move out?

   You and your wife have every right to have your home back if your mother-in-law’s behavior and sister-in-law’s interfering are intolerable. No one can force either of you to personally provide your mother-in-law with housing and care, not even the s...
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9. Liability in case of injury while being cared for?

   Dear Zoedell: Your question is whether there is liability for injury if your mother is caring for a friend in her home. I do not see a risk of her liability in this situation as much as I see neglect by family members of your mother's friend to address their father's needs...
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10. How can I help Mom, who has Alzheimer's and is a victim of financial elder abuse?

    For future protection,it would be imperative for you or someone else to be appointed as a guardian of your mother. If this had been done earlier, it would have been easier to prevent her from depleting assets when she did not have the requisite state of mind to make the gifts that she made.
    1 Expert Answer, 4 Community Answers

11. How do we help the grandchildren cope with Grandma forgetting their names?

    Your question about Grandma's memory loss, and forgetting her granddaughter's name very clearly points out that Alzheimer’s disease is a family challenge. How to help your 10-year old daughter deal with what she feels is a "slight" due to Grandma's illness is a challenge that you can help her overcocome...
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12. How do I get my mom to change her every day life in order to care for my dad?

    Your question about how to get mom to take care of dad suggests that you believe your mom wants to do this but just hasn't changed her lifestyle. Perhaps she doesn't want the job. She may also be in denial, which is very common, and she may be pretending to herself that dad doesn't need taking care of because he's fine...
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13. Can one sibling out of six make the decision to place her mom in a nursing home?

    Your description of your friend’s mother being locked in the car, the house, and her room is very disturbing—and if true, may even amount to elder abuse, which is a serious crime. You should urge your friend and her siblings to act quickly to make sure their mother is safe and sound.
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14. How Can I Prevent a Stepparent From Mismanaging the Finances of a Parent With Alzheimer's When I Have Power of Attorney?

    First, get clear on whether the power of attorney naming you as your parent's agent has actually taken effect. You need to look at the specific wording of the document to find that out.
    FAQ 1 Expert Answer, 3 Community Answers

15. Can a person with dementia "hide" it?

    I would suggest that you ask her physician if a family conference could be scheduled. If some of the family can not attend the conference could be a teleconference ling. Then, everyone would hear the same message and they would have the opportunity to ask questions of her physicians...
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16. My mother has severe dementia, she has good days and bad...

    You cannot get a legally valid power of attorney without your mother's consent. You want her to agree to and sign what's called a "durable power of attorney for finances."[DPA] It's called "durable" because the person appointed agent (you) can continue to represent and act for the principal (your mother) even if she is incompetent...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

17. My aunt is in denial about my uncle's Alzheimer's. How can we best help her?

    It is absolutely legal to call social services in any situation in which you are concerned about the health and/or well-being of another person. It is especially important to do so when the adult in question has dementia or another illness that impairs judgment.
    1 Expert Answer, 4 Community Answers

18. How do we help Mom with Dad's dementia diagnosis?

    Denial of a spouse’s dementia is both normal and common. Sometimes it also can be a very positive defense to averting depression or even despair for the spouse. You need to ask yourself, “What would it be like for her to admit he has dementia?” and identify the answer before you open a conversation.ation...
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19. How do we best help Mom handle Dad's funeral when she has Alzheimer's?

    My condolences on the loss of your dad. It appears that your mum’s memory of her husband, your father, is still fairly clear, as you state she calls for him, and is responding in an emotional manner consistent with the loss and her grief.
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

20. Can I take legal action against my family for upsetting my mother with Alzheimer's?

    You ask about your Mom with Alzheimer's and the abusive phone calls she gets from relatives. From your question, I'd like to focus on this phrase: "Maybe I'm supposed to interfere since I'm her caregiver and supposed to be protecting her."
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