Men: What Your Sex Life Says About Your Health

Sex scene #8: When you ejaculate, it hurts.

It might be: A muscle spasm disorder, or prostatitis

In women, there's a condition known as vulvodynia, mysteriously chronic pain of the vulva (around the vaginal opening). Penile pain at orgasm is thought to be the male counterpart, Mulhall says. The latest thinking on both conditions is that they're some kind of nerve disorder, although it's not clear whether this is in response to an infection or some kind of trauma, or what. It's more often seen in young men in high-stress phases of life.

Another possible cause for painful ejaculation is prostatitis, an inflammation of the prostate, which is a gland located up under the rectum. "It's a benign condition but an annoying one," Tierney says. And the cause is a mystery in this case, too.

What to do: Dysorgasmia (orgasmic pain) is tough to treat. Some men choose to endure discomfort, while others work with a qualified doctor (usually a urologist) to try various treatments.

Sex scene #9: When you ejaculate, nothing comes out!

It might be: Your prostate meds

Retrograde ejaculation is a condition where you experience orgasm -- but little to no semen comes out. (It exits through the bladder.) Alpha-blockers such as tamsulosin (Flomax), used to improve urination in men with enlarged prostate, are a common culprit. Sometimes diabetics also experience this due to nerve damage.

What to do: Nothing, unless it bothers you. "Most men don't care, but some do," Tierney says. A couple struggling with infertility would want to explore drug treatments or assistive reproduction techniques to remedy the condition.

Sex scene #10: It takes forever to ejaculate -- if it happens at all.

It might be: Diabetes, or prediabetes in the form of a weight problem

In 9 out of 10 men with anorgasmia -- the inability to reach orgasm -- the root cause is psychological (anything from performance anxiety to work stress to a history of childhood sexual abuse). But in the remaining 10 percent of cases, there's a penile sensory problem, most often caused by nerve damage due to diabetes, Tierney says.

Diabetics typically have other clues to the disease, including numbness in the feet, thirst, itchy skin, excessive urination, and fatigue -- but they don't always link the condition to sexual performance problems, which can include the inability to climax.

Overweight but not diabetic? "There's increasing evidence that obesity itself is a medical cause of erectile dysfunctions and loss of libido," Tierney says. "And obviously it can be a psychological barrier in the form of self-esteem issues."

What to do: Ask your doctor about medications to treat ED, such as Viagra or Cialis, but be aware that because diabetics often have heart problems, these drugs aren't always recommended. Instead: Don't discount the healing power of lifestyle changes.

"People want to take a pill to make sexual problems better, but a pill won't fix problems that are further back," Tierney says. "Sometimes the best fix is to do the hard work of taking better care of yourself: stress management, losing weight, working on the underlying medical conditions."