7. They're complaining about not having enough money.
Does the subject of money come up in conversation more than it used to? Do they make more passing references to the high costs of living expenses like gas, electricity, and groceries? You may also see more subtle signs that money is tight -- they may decline invitations to go out to eat with friends because of the cost, make fewer car trips because of high gas prices, and skip home fixes like house painting and furnace or appliance repairs. All of these can be signs that their expenses are too much for them to deal with on their own.
8. They seem physically unable to complete daily tasks like banking and bill paying.
Tasks that once seemed mundane can become unmanageable if their physical or mental state is deteriorating. The weekly trip to the ATM may be no big deal to you, but if they have vision problems that prevent them from driving or health issues that keep them from long walks, it may be hard for them to make it to the bank on a regular basis.
Likewise, paying bills by mail can become burdensome if arthritis makes writing checks and addressing envelopes painful. Pay attention to their general health, and you'll likely be able to keep tabs on their financial health as well.
Several of these signs apply to my mother, and have done for years . She's very secretive about that subject and has managed to thwart any discussion of her finances through evasiveness, tears, defensiveness and so on. Has anyone had luck dealing with such a tough customer? Thanks!
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Responding to No. 6: I agree, look at the caller ID logs. Look for and write down frequent or repeated phone calls from unfamiliar and even familiar numbers. My mother was being taken to the cleaners by more than one shady handymen. I would call the unfamiliar number and 'sharp shoot' who answered. Don't be afraid of offending someone you don't know. Even so-called friends of my mother knew me well. I'm sure their thoughts of me were unpleasant but I didn't care. I even went so far as to have a local police officer go to the house of one 'handyman' to see if my mother gave him her compressor. That was all it took to keep him away. Another handyman taking her money was not so easy to shake. He said "I am your mother's priest." When I heard this I went straight to his catholic church, we are not catholic, and told HIS Priest to "tell the handyman to stay away from my mother or I would have a restraining order put on him". It actually took two trips to the Catholic Church to convince them I was serious about a member of THEIR parish. But it worked. If you have an empty house, keep the phone on to monitor. After I moved mom in with me, her house was a sitting duck. Thankfully, the only trouble we had was after the auction announcement stated in the add the owner had to move out. How stupid is that. Fortunately the local police in our county are wonderful. The house unoccupied at the time but full of belongings to be auctioned the following day. I was there checking on things when a strange truck pulled in. I wrote down the license plate. The woman knew she was there a day early. Days following the auction, more things from inside the house disappeared. The police paid a visit to the woman registered to the plate. It was a woman they knew well. They know how to question; she gave herself away and was warned to stay away. There were no further problems. You have to be a 'pit-bull' for your parent. They don't need to know you're suspicious of someone. And for goodness sake, don't worry about hurting someone’s feelings. I promise you if their intentions are honorable, they'll get over it. If their intentions self-serving, they will quietly go away. Unfortunately they will look for and find another elderly victim.
I know my in-laws need help taking care of their finances, but my father in law doesn't want to let go of control, even though my husband (their son) has power of attorney.
I am a healthy 81 year old widow, who lives alone, but has a boyfriend, travels a lot, and leads an active life- HOWEVER am aware that I may need help at some point and so I am sharing info about my finances with my 3 children. And am sending the article to them - hopefully - they will never have to refer to it-
It's a frightening list but one that definitely gives some clues to look for.
My mother-in-law banks online. After brain surgery, she permitted my sister-in-law to check her accounts using her password just to double-check everything looked pretty standard. While my sister-in-law was conscious of her mother's desire to live independently and handle her own finances, having the ability to take a look every once-in-awhile was really comforting to the family.
My In laws run out of food money every month. I'm not sure if their fixed income is simply not enough or if they are mishandling it. It is very frustrating to not be able to see into their finances to know what kind of help they really need - more money or planning help.