Tips and insights 6-10

6. Everyone has a different learning style -- and it's OK to share yours with your doctors.

Cancer treatment is incredibly complicated. For some patients, a cancer diagnosis is an invitation to become a research machine, while for others the constant onslaught of information is intimidating and even frightening. Without knowing where you fall on this spectrum, doctors can err in either direction, spouting out so many long scientific names that you leave understanding nothing, or presenting things in such simplistic terms that you feel they're talking down to you.

"Some patients can handle lots of technical information; others start saying they're overwhelmed and just want the doctor to tell them what to do," said the Kaiser oncology nurse. "So some nurses, over time, become hesitant about talking too much. But if someone asks questions, I'm happy to tell them everything they want to know."

So it's up to you to let your doctor and the rest of your medical team know if you want to understand the science behind your treatment or if you'd rather just be given your marching orders.

7. Chemotherapy itself isn't that bad.

Yes, it's scary the first time, especially if you don't like needles or the sight of blood. But many cancer patients said they were surprised that once they became familiar with the chemotherapy procedure, it wasn't as bad as they'd expected.

"I thought the infusion center was going to be horrible -- dank, dark, and gloomy looking," said one breast cancer patient. "But it wasn't. The one I go to is light, cheery, has a beautiful aquarium, and some artwork. They serve drinks and some nibbles."

8. Make sure the weight listed on your chart is correct.

This seemingly minor issue was mentioned by several people caring for cancer patients. Believe it or not, it seems that mistakes with weight are fairly common. Why is this so important? Because chemotherapy dosage is calculated based on weight, so if the weight on the chart is wrong, you could end up getting too much or too little. If your weight changes during the course of your treatment, bring that to the attention of the medical team as well.

9. Bring someone with you to appointments.

You've never needed a friend to accompany you to the doctor in the past, so why is it different with cancer? Because cancer is much more complicated, and the information presented is much more overwhelming, than is typical for most illnesses. Even if you feel hesitant, wondering, 'Why bother someone and make them take time out from their day?' do it anyway, cancer patients said. Having someone there to take notes, hold your hand, and even just chat with the doctor when you're stuck for words can make an enormous difference in easing the decision-making process.

"I didn't even know people were bringing friends until I joined a support group," said one lung cancer patient. "Then everyone was talking about it one day, how great it was to have someone there asking questions and taking notes, and I wished someone had prodded me to do this."

10. Not all side effects are listed in the handouts.

Ever listen in on a group of women exchanging labor stories? Every story is different, because people's bodies handle pain and other issues differently. When it comes to the side effects from chemotherapy drugs, the ones doctors tell you about tend to be the ones reported by a fair number of people. But there are other side effects that are far less common, so no one bothers to mention them. You may even find you have a side effect all to yourself -- and that doesn't make it any less valid.

Don't let anyone make you feel dumb for asking about a side effect, even if they've never heard of it. Almost every cancer patient said they'd had the experience of asking about an unusual or obscure symptom and being told it was probably unrelated to the cancer. Then they asked around and found other cancer patients who'd dealt with it, too.

"I found my chemo cocktail left me with extreme light sensitivity," one patient said. "My doctors and nurses had never heard of that side effect, but I posted on an online cancer support board and several people immediately said, 'Me too! I thought I was the only one!'" She was reassured when other patients in the online support group told her their light sensitivity disappeared a few months after chemotherapy finished.