One caveat: It's important to recognize, from the very beginning, the dangers of caregiver burnout. There's no way you can take on all aspects of caregiving alone, and if you try, you're bound to grow frustrated and discouraged pretty quickly. Keep in mind that breast cancer treatment takes time, and you're at the beginning of a long and difficult journey. If you use up all your reserves of time, energy, and support at the beginning, during the "crisis" phase, you might not have enough stamina to hang in there during the prolonged phase of care management.

Your role will constantly change as you and the person in your care evaluate what she can do and what she needs you or someone else to do for her. "It will be a constant evolution as she goes through periods of helplessness and then through times of feeling empowered," says Bonnie Bajorek Daneker, author of The Compassionate Caregiver's Guide to Caring for Someone with Cancer. "You'll find you're constantly trying to balance between these two stances. You always have to adjust, depending on how she's feeling."

For example, Daneker says, it's common for cancer patients to feel strong and capable during periods between chemotherapy treatments, and then extremely fatigued and emotional during and right after treatment. Or you may find that the steroids often prescribed during chemo give the person in your care a short-lived energy boost that lasts for a day or two before dissipating, at which point the fatigue hits. "As a caregiver, you have to be so in tune with what the patient wants and needs," Daneker says. "It's important to be flexible and highly communicative to deal with the constant changes."