Who to Call When Your Parent Is Seriously Ill

Quick summary

When a parent is diagnosed with a serious illness, it's common to feel overwhelmed. How do you begin to help your parent deal with it? Start by calling these three experts, who can help you map out a care plan for your parent.

1. Your parent's doctor

OK, this seems obvious. But when you're hit with the news that your parent is really sick, it's easy to get caught up in the emotions of the moment. Find time to ask your parent's doctor or medical team for a detailed prognosis of his condition, projecting ahead as far as possible. (Ask your parent for his permission first.) Medical predictions aren't easy, as things change quickly and there are many unknowns. But getting a doctor's take on what lies ahead for your parent, even if it's hunches and best guesses, can help you be prepared.

2. An elder law attorney

Yes, this can be expensive, but consulting with an elder law or eldercare attorney can save money down the line. This professional will examine your parent's finances and devise a strategy for using the money wisely -- and making it stretch if need be. Elder law attorneys can also help with end-of-life decisions and estate planning.

To find a good elder law attorney, ask everyone you know and trust for referrals, and check with senior organizations and faith groups. If money is an issue, check with your or your parents' local legal aid services for pro bono or sliding- scale attorneys.

3. A geriatric care manager

If you can afford it, consulting with a geriatric care manager can save money and reduce stress down the line. This manager can do an assessment of your parent's needs and come up with a care plan based on all the pieces, including medical condition, social situation, housing, and finances. Most care managers will work within a budget, giving you the most bang -- or help -- for your buck. They're also experts on resources near your parent's home. To find a good geriatric care manager, check with your parent's doctor and friends; family members; churches, synagogues, or other faith groups; and senior organizations in your parent's community.