- Make a memory book or video. Before you pack up, document the home she's leaving behind with photos or a video, then make a scrapbook or give her the CD. That way she can carry her memories of her home into the next stage of her life.
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Let the person who's moving talk. Try not to get impatient if "Where do you want the couch to go?" unleashes a flood of reminiscences about all the passages that sofa has seen. The house she's leaving may well be the one in which she raised her family and marked important milestones. Planning ahead means there's room on moving day for processing the emotions that empty rooms may unleash.
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Consider a storage unit. If she's reluctant to part with precious belongings, don't let downsizing become a power struggle. Put the things she doesn't need but can't bear to part with in storage and deal with them later, once the dust has settled.
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Make sure there's a working phone at the new home. Contact the phone company or retirement community to get phone service (and other utilities, if necessary) up and running before she moves in. If she doesn't have a cell phone, ask the retirement community manager whether it offers cell-phone loaners to new residents until a landline is set up. If not, consider a disposable cell phone. This is a safety issue -- being without a phone, even briefly, leaves older adults vulnerable in case of emergency. (It's best not to have a cell be the only phone on a long-term basis, however, because cell phones may not be able to get through in a widespread emergency such as an earthquake or a tornado.)
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Suggest changing the locks. Unless she's moving into an assisted-living situation, it's safest to change the locks in a new home. Ask if you can have the locks rekeyed for her, and tell her you'd do the same if you were moving.
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Hi BFFparents, Thanks for your question. I think it depends on the caregiving situation. Generally speaking, I think usually the primary caregiver usually knows best. However, if you still have questions, one great place to ask your question is in our Ask & Answer section here: (http://www.caring.com/questions/new). I hope that helps, good luck!! --Emily
Is it better for the parent with Alzeimers for the child to move in with them? That way it is their home and less stress on the parent. Any time our parent is taken out of their home for a few days, it seems to cause confusion. At this time my husband & I are doing all the cooking, cleaning and transportation. We live next door but if one of us are not there the parent just sits and does nothing. She will call a number of times a day wanting one of us to come over. She is wanting us to move in.
Generally helpful suggestions. We recently moved my 88 year old parents to a very comprehensive assisted living facility with the invaluable help of a couple of senior move managers. Although not inexpensive, they were well worth the cost. They quickly saw that part of my mother's way of coping was calling on me to do the most inessential tasks. so when I was needed, they arranged for one of their older-but still very active-helpers to be with her. They packed everything, hired the movers and arranged for the storage unit, and since I will be be moving to the same area soon, arranged for things I had in storage to go with my parents' belongings so I wouldn't have to worry about them now that I'm working on my own move. They set up my parents' living quarters before we brought them out, so that when they arrived, we could have dinner and they could go to bed shortly thereafter. It still wasn't easy, but much saner than it could have been!
Wonderful suggestions!