Driving down memory lane

When reflecting about driving and its role in the driver's life, don't be surprised if he begins to talk about the past. He may reminisce about his honeymoon road trip to the Grand Canyon or recall how he saved up money for his first car or taught all the kids how to drive.

• Resist the temptation to interrupt and get him back on track. Instead, try to encourage the reminiscences by asking questions or even requesting to see photos. Sifting through memories will help him come to terms with this life transition as he reflects on the role driving has played in his life and gradually accept the fact that he'll soon have to give it up.

• As the discussion progresses, ask him directly what he thinks he should do about driving. You may want to help him jot down some of the pros and cons of the alternatives he faces. This approach can help someone realize that there are actually some benefits to not driving (tremendous savings on auto insurance, car maintenance, and gasoline, for example). It also may help focus him on the stark consequences -- such as a fatal accident -- that could result from maintaining the status quo.

• Depending on how everyone is feeling, this might be a good point to put the discussion on temporary hold. Agree to meet again in a couple of days, after you've all had a chance to reflect on the various options. (You might want to set a specific time to meet to ensure that it happens.)

Of course, there's no telling how the discussion will unfold, since that will have a lot to do with factors unique to the situation. But the discussion is much more likely to be productive and positive if you approach it with a genuine desire to learn more about his experiences, ideas, and concerns.