One of the hardest things about moving from the family home to a retirement community is downsizing. Your parents may find themselves in a 600- or 700-square foot unit -- or something even smaller. In the long run, most will find their new living situation more enjoyable than they anticipated, because in a good retirement community, much of their day -- meals, activities, outings -- will take place outside their living quarters. But the more you can do to help them prepare and set up their space early on, the easier the move will be for everyone. Here are eight steps to take:
Help get the ball rolling.
The first step in easing the transition to a retirement community comes before the moving van pulls up, when you can help with the task of sorting through the stuff and figuring out what to bring along.
Pick your battles -- and be prepared to weather some early storms.
"Change is scary," points out Jennifer Prell, a senior move manager in Illinois and CEO of Paxem. A retirement community is "a totally different lifestyle, and they're not used to having someone take care of them." That's why your parents may become seemingly irrational about holding on to belongings that seems unnecessary or impractical to you. Don't make a fuss over every item. Once they get used to their new home, says Prell, your parents are likely to find they have a perfect amount of space -- and they may decide to weed through their possessions further, all on their own.
Ask for the things that don't fit.
If your parents have brought along items that are impractical or just don't fit, tell them you've had your eye on the offending heirlooms -- even if you have to put them in your basement. Or suggest donating bulky items to charity. This way your parents can avoid admitting they made a mistake and may feel like they're helping out rather than "giving in."
Great article, despite the the fact I'll have to do the downsizing myself. It's the books I'll have most trouble giving-up, although there aren't enough years to read all those I haven't yet gotten to. Many are even research material, since I still intend to continue writing for publication for the rest of my life. Yes, yes. Great Grandmother Elsa
My sister did a layout of the new Senior apartment that they moved into first. Placed the furniture that would fit into the layout, and then we had to 'store' the rest. Mom and Dad actually moved into a guest apartment first, so that they would not be at their home when the movers came. We had to do a lot of weeding out of things (a junk store made 3 trips with a large van to get the items we thought were garbage), we kept the good things, let them see only the items that were going into the apartment. When it came time to move them to assisted living apart (half the size of the senior apartment), it was more difficult because they were there. Most difficult part was getting rid of the clothing that Mom doesn't wear. She still has a lot of items that she does not wear that I am taking away one at a time with the laundry....
The suggestion of a full size [as opposed to queen or king] bed is pretty funny. Have you tried to sleep in a full size bed with another person, honestly? Most seniors I know now have kings and sleep comfortably through the night.
I agree with Jennifer, the senior move manager...pick your battles! Another tip is to have a "downsizing party" with your family. Put all of the things you want to remain in your family and invite everyone over to go through it. Make it fun! From a fellow senior mover: http://www.gentletransitions.net
Excellent advice! Especially asking for things that don't fit. It's a smart way to honor your loved ones, increase their self worth, & be of practical assistance all at the same time.