Put together a legacy project.
Consider creating a legacy project with your parent, and involve your child in the process. Even a very young child can help select photographs for a poster or photo album. An older child may enjoy listening to his grandmother relate her life story for an oral history project; the child could also draw pictures for the final bound volume. If possible, take some pictures of your child with his grandparent and add them to the oral history. Frame one of the photos and put it in your child's room.
Find children's books on death and dying.
Many excellent books for children deal with the subject of death. Pick a selection up from the library and purchase a few you think your child will like, so they can continue to provide comfort in the months to come.
Encourage your child to draw or paint pictures.
Children often have trouble talking about their feelings and may be able to express themselves more easily through drawing or painting.
Confirmation that it is probably best to just be honest.
Hello Granny2Grandsons, Thank you very much for sharing this story with the community, it was so touching. Thank you again, and take care -- Emily | Community Manager
yes thanks
My 5 yr old Grandson came to visit while I was taking care of my Mom - his "G-Granny". G-Granny lives 850 miles away. They had a wonderful relationship. I was taking care of my Grandson (provided daycare from infancy to age 3) in my home. G-Granny would send stickers and a sticker book (along with a note saying, "remember - stickers go on paper - nothing else!" She would also send my Grandson other things in the mail. My Grandson loved it every day when it was time to get the mail. G-Granny sent something every week, even if it was just a postcard of dogs, cats, or zoo animals! When I called my husband and told him that my Mother was terminal, possibly 3-4 months - along with my daughter and 5 yr old Grandson, they came to visit G-Granny that weekend! At the same time, my son-in-law was on his way back to his home - his Dad's twin bother had just passed. My Mother was extremely concerned about how my Grandson would react to seeing her with a cap on her head or wearing a wig since she had lost her hair along with a lot of weight. I had told my Mother that I think he will be just fine! When my husband, daughter and Grandson came in my Mother's house, he immediately went to her (she was wearing a cap and very pale) to give her a hug! Then he told his G-Granny, "I like your cap! I got you this candy bar but it is a little melted so I'm going to put it in the frig and help you eat it later, OK?" The next day, my Mother had her wig on. She was feeling better that day. When my Grandson saw her - he immediately said, "G-Granny, your hair looks beautiful and so do you"! He didn't act any different than the many years of visiting together! My Mother was so relieved! Even when my Mom was having a rough day and was pale looking, wearing her cap and still in her nightgown and robe - my Grandson would still sit beside her always asking if he could get her something. Then he would start a conversation with his G-Granny. When Mom just had to go take a nap, my Grandson would tell her - "G-Granny, I'll be in there in a few minutes to tuck you in"! He would always wait a few minutes - watching the second hand on the clock for 3 minutes - then he would go in G-Granny's bedroom. He was so sweet - we had all talked to him about how sick G-Granny had been and that she had cancer and would be dying soon. He would just say, "Let's go visit as many times as we can before she dies and make her happy". He understood that death meant he wouldn't see G-Granny again - ever! At 5 yrs old - he was the one that helped the adults! It was just so precious and gave his G-Granny so much love and joy and helped the rest of the adults to see such innocence of a child dealing with the death of a loved one. Now, 6 years later - he still has pictures of him with his G-Granny from his 1st birthday all the way through the 5 years he knew her. He says he still remembers her but not everything. He says he remembers he loved her very much and she was always very "huggy" and sent him things in the mail!! Just being honest with a child over anything such as death, divorce, or anything else dramatic - talk and then listen to them and answer all of their questions - it puts them at ease, lets them understand and makes them feel better knowing what is going on and what was going to happen!!