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Please Don't Bury Me, by John Prine

Humorous or Quirky Funeral Songs: Page 7

By Various Artists, as collected by Caring.com
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Woke up this morning

Put on my slippers

Walked in the kitchen and died

And oh what a feeling!

When my soul

Went thru the ceiling

And on up into heaven I did ride

When I got there they did say

John, it happened this way

You slipped upon the floor

And hit your head

And all the angels say

Just before you passed away

These were the very last words

That you said:


Please don't bury me

Down in that cold cold ground

No, I'd druther have ‘em cut me up

And pass me all around

Throw my brain in a hurricane

And the blind can have my eyes

And the deaf can take both of my ears

If they don't mind the size

Give my stomach to Milwaukee

If they run out of beer

Put my socks in a cedar box

Just get ‘em out of here

Venus de Milo can have my arms

Look out! I've got your nose

Sell my heart to the junkman

And give my love to Rose

Repeat chorus

Give my feet to the footloose

Careless, fancy free

Give my knees to the needy

Don't pull that stuff on me

Hand me down my walking cane

It's a sin to tell a lie

Send my mouth way down south

And kiss my ass goodbye

Repeat chorus

Listen to a sample of Please Don't Bury Me performed by John Prine