Listen to your parent.

As your parent's Parkinson's disease progresses, try to open a continuing conversation with her about what her top priorities are. Which daily activities does she really want to be able to keep up? The answers may not necessarily be what you'd assume, and they can guide you as you try to provide support. If it turns out that she doesn't care about cooking her own meals, you could sign her up for a Meals on Wheels-type service or periodically stock her freezer with frozen entrées or her fridge with food that's ready to eat.

Also ask whether your parent is experiencing any nonmotor symptoms from Parkinson's disease. Mood changes, sleep, fatigue, or problems urinating or defecating can be less obvious than the classic motor symptoms of the illness, yet these nonmotor difficulties are often even more problematic.

Resist the urge to take over.

Before jumping in with endless amounts of advice, get your parent's permission first: Ask how much help she wants. Is it OK for you to give her little reminders about speaking more loudly because Parkinson's disease has weakened her voice? Or about sitting up straight because the condition makes her tilt to one side? If you explain that you're not intending to nag but want to offer useful cues that her own neural system lacks because of the illness, your parent will probably welcome the input.

At the same time, for the sake of your parent's self-esteem and independence, it's important to encourage her to do as much for herself as possible, even if you feel you could accomplish a task faster for her. Let your parent get dressed, feed herself, or fold the laundry at her own pace, and lend a hand only if she truly needs it. Likewise, if she speaks slowly, try to avoid leaping in to finish her sentences. Encourage her to speak clearly by asking that she repeat herself or indicating with a nod to let her know you understand her.

How to help from a distance.

Sometimes, particularly when adult children don't live in the same town as their parent with Parkinson's does, they'll e-mail a flood of suggestions about, say, herbal supplements, assistive gadgets, or research news they've discovered on the Internet. But too much of such advice can be overwhelming, experts say. Again, the best thing is to first ask your parent and the primary family caregiver how much help and information they want and need.

One way you can give support from a distance is by simply setting a regular time and day when you'll phone home each week. Consider sending the primary family caregiver a surprise flower bouquet or care package each month, with treats such as a soothing music CD or a gift certificate for a massage or movie. And once or twice a year, try to visit with your parent for three to five days to give the main caregiver a break. If that isn't possible, you might offer to pay for your parent with Parkinson's to take a respite stay in a local extended care facility.

Get help planning your parent's care.

Geriatric care managers can be a godsend in coordinating a tailored plan of care for your parent, especially if you live far away. These experts are usually nurses and social workers who are savvy about medical care facilities, home care agencies, and other resources in the local community. They can help you and your family think through medical, insurance, legal, and financial matters. You can search for a care manager in your parent's neighborhood at the website of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers.